OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter

[Edi]

So, what exactly was Johan K doing in India last summer? Trying toi recruit an army of Bandar to take over, or training them?


Monkeys kill Delhi deputy mayor
The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi died on Sunday after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.

The High Court demanded the city find an answer to the problem last year.

Solution elusive

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

The city has also employed monkey catchers to round them up so they can be moved to forests.

But the problem has persisted.

Culling is seen as unacceptable to devout Hindus, who revere the monkeys as a manifestation of the monkey god Hanuman, and often feed them bananas and peanuts.

Urban development around the city has also been blamed for destroying the monkeys' natural habitat.

Mr Bajwa, a member of the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), is survived by his wife and a son, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/7055625.stm

Published: 2007/10/21 21:33:01 GMT

© BBC MMVII



As to where I found this, here. (http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?p=2601847) Money quote from that thread:

Covenant said:

loomer said:
This is going to end fantastically well. Once they introduce tigers to kill the new monkeys.


It won't be long until someone unleases a massive genetically engineered Python into the streets to kill off the killer-apes who have sinced begun riding tigers around.


It's a good thing I'd managed to finish my lunch just before I read that, choking to death while laughing wouldn't have been pleasant...

[Burnsaber]

Damn, that's just too many *coincedences* for me. Johan K is trying to take over the world! Monkey army, why didn't I think of that?

I wonder how Johan K will take over his home country Sweden, since Monkeys can't survive the Skandinavian climate. I need to check if the Moose have been more agressive lately..

[DrPraetorious]

Crossbreeding, obviously.

In addition to being cold-tolerant, your star spawn-maccaque hybrid can also enter the sea.

[Kristoffer O]

2007-09-21 14:10
Älg tog sig in på Telias kontor
Av IT 24 |

Det blev stor uppståndelse när en älg tog sig in i Telias lokaler i centrala Örebro på fredagen. Den fullvuxna älgen hoppade in genom en fönsterruta. Personalen flydde i skräck därifrån. Det skriver TT.

---

Free translation by me:

Moose entered Telia office

There was great comotion as a moose entered the Telia office in central Örebro this friday. The full grown moose entered by jumping through a window. The employees fled in panic. This according to TT.

---

Telia is the swedish company in charge of/owning the telephone network, broad band stuff, etc; a remnant of the ministry 'televerket', when telephones were part of the public service.

[Sombre]

All major attacks begin with systematic cutting of lines of communication. Telia is just step one of phase one.

[Amhazair]

It looks to me like JK spent a bit too much time in India. While the target choise of the Moose attack is indeed ominous, as Sombre says, the actual results appear to be somewhat limited.

Still, I have no doubts that if some more time is spent on training we will soon see invincible meese armies galopping through various strategic targets in Scandinavia.

[Zylithan]

I was bitten by a moose once.

[Burnsaber]

Time of the invasion draws nigh! We must prepare ourselves for the inevitable onslaught.


Zylithan said:
I was bitten by a moose once.



!!!!

Did it penetrate your skin? Was there any blood? Did you contact the virus?!

If you get bitten by one of them, you will become one of them!

There's only way to be sure..
*goes away to get his shotgun*

[Gregstrom]

Remember to use silver pellets - it's best to be sure.

[Valandil]

I love this thread.

[Autochthon]

As my old mentor once told me, "start w/the fundamentals".

Terrorist monkeys are like any other terrorist group (except furry and occasionally Sacred) - go after the head, and the body dies or loses focus.

Find the white monkeys. That is all.

[DigitalSin]

Hmm, does this make Aus safe? IIRC, theres no killer kangaroos or anything in dom3..

[Gregstrom]

There are spiders of all sizes in Dom3, though.

[Sombre]

I haven't noticed any small spiders in dom3. They all appear to be bigger than horses.

[DigitalSin]

Whew, we just have the extremely deadly ones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[HoneyBadger]

So the moose jumped through the window? and then everyone fled in panic...seems like a reasonable reason for panic.

Was that a 1st floor window? or was the moose wearing a cape?

Are the Indians planning to arm the tiger-riding monkeys?
If so, are we talking small calibre rifles, or uzis and rocket launchers?

What kind of military/industrial base does the smaller monkey opposition have access to? And are they to be considered terrorists or freedom fighters?

And do they possess armored rhino technology to counter the giant snake weapons?

[Autochthon]

HoneyBadger said:
So the moose jumped through the window? and then everyone fled in panic...seems like a reasonable reason for panic.

Was that a 1st floor window? or was the moose wearing a cape?



There was some mention of a jet pack, but I advise waiting until the investigation is concluded.


Are the Indians planning to arm the tiger-riding monkeys?
If so, are we talking small calibre rifles, or uzis and rocket launchers?



There have been some debate about giving them single-shot Explosively Formed Penetrators to allow the gov't. some deniability, but the Indians are reconsidering that due to Iranian EFPs still falling into the hands of the Coalition forces en route to use in Iraq.


What kind of military/industrial base does the smaller monkey opposition have access to? And are they to be considered terrorists or freedom fighters?



I prefer to use the ideologically-neutral terms, "insurgent" or "guerilla" (gorillaz? /rimshot) myself.

Great taste AND less filling!


And do they possess armored rhino technology to counter the giant snake weapons?



A waste of money, IMHO. It's been a well-established fact that the only creature than can defeat a genetically-engineered python is another genentically-engineer python.

[Sombre]

If you'd ever seen the hit film Python vs Anaconda you'd know that isn't true.

[HoneyBadger]

I believe that we've already done considerable groundwork on this forum towards establishing that even a Very-Large-And-Dangerous (VLAD) class snake will have a lot of trouble dealing with a similarly VLAD-class crocodile.

Naturally, a good deal remains to be speculated as regards the, so-to-say, "nature" of any genetic mutation that may be involved.

And regarding whether or not it's a good idea to put armor on rhinos, let us recall for a moment the words of Abraham Lincoln:

"In the course of human events, it need not be necessary for armored rhinos to be the solution to all our problems, it is only that we ask ourselves the question, "well, what about armored rhinos?" that matters."

[lch]

Zylithan said:
I was bitten by a moose once.


I was bitten by a monkey once when I was in India. I guess I was undermining his alpha status and he had to take action.

[thejeff]

I was mugged by monkeys in Indonesia, once. I was carrying peanuts, you see.