Dom 3 Limericks?

[sansanjuan]

There once was a Van from Nantucket.. ok ok. :doh:

Only clean ones....

There once was a mage from Ermor
Who brought countless undead to war
Though his foe had no sword
He took control of the horde
And now Ermor is no more

-SSJ

[sansanjuan]

one more


An Aboleth from R'yleh was commanded
To abduct an earthling when landed
But at the congressional nave
He found no mind to enslave
And so he went home empty handed


-SSJ

[Gandalf Parker]

There once was a cocky guy
thought Pangaea would be fun to try
He amassed quite a force
and marched them all forth
but half stealthed and watched the rest die

TIP: If you Ctrl-click when you give your armies a move order then it will cause all of your armies to move un-hidden

[HoneyBadger]

I've done that. More than once, sad to say...

There once was a Jotun from Utgard
who was no friend of sages or bards
Heroically stupid, he encountered his cupid,
a loving Drakaina, his lasting reward.

[Gandalf Parker]

I had all the mercs I could hire
And an army for supporting fire
for an early score
I charged into war
AARRGH I let the merc hires expire

[JaghataiKhan]

When I was,
A Young Van,
*shot to death*

[Gandalf Parker]

Would that last one be a haiku? There is a haiku thread, and a thread for poetry (for the more serious stuff).

[lch]

That was a 4chan reference.

+4 geekiness points, -3 charisma

[Juffos]

Unfortunately some of the memes have penetrated even the concentrated defenses of our neckbeardy hardcore strateginess.

[Kamamura]

Thinking of limmericks, it's quite difficult to find words that rhyme with "Ulm".

Ritter Helmuth Schlessick von Ulm
preferred infantry schturm.
When footsoldier dies
instead of noble knights,
a strategy one shouldn't spurn.

[chrispedersen]

Thinking of limmericks, it's quite difficult to find words that rhyme with "Ulm".

Ritter Helmuth Schlessick von Ulm
preferred infantry schturm.
When footsoldier dies
instead of noble knights,
a strategy one shouldn't spurn.

There once was a countess of ulm..
Whose fortunes became exceedingly glum
Two or three shatters one day
Took her armor away
Leaving her looking rather like.. gollum..

[MaxWilson]

[Apologies to Steven Brust, whose poem I have adapted]

A Crone from the isle of Man
Wrote limericks that wouldn't quite scan
When told this was so
She replied, "Yes, I know,
It's because I always try to fit as many unnecessary syllables into the very last line as I possibly can."

-Max

[MaxWilson]

Sorry, there are two more adaptations that I can't resist sharing.

[First attempt]

There was a Sidhe Lord from Eriu
Who tried writing limerics in haiku
But

*Cue groans, please.*

[Second attempt]

There was a Sidhe Lord
From Eriu, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."

-Max

[chrispedersen]

Two Ermorians suffering from cold
Tried a maneuver both stupid and bold
What a shock when they died
Attacking the angel they spied..
Their fates, and the angel, manifold.

[Gandalf Parker]

Why is Ermor so much fun to pick on?

There once was a player with Ermor
who thought deadly scales would help win more
but the players all said
undead should be dead
They agreed to gang up on poor Ermor

[MaxWilson]

There once was a player with Ermor
who thought deadly scales would help win more
but the players all said
undead should remain dead
They agreed to gang up on poor Ermor

This is my favorite so far. :)

-Max

[Gandalf Parker]

but I messed up the meter.
Ive changed it to
Undead should be dead

[SlipperyJim]

A Lord Guardian marched forth from the Keep,
to bury some heresy deep.
But he died much too soon,
on the second of June,
when a lowly Druid put him to sleep.

[JimMorrison]

In Marignon there lived a priest
Who inspected virgins to do his piece
But one of them lied
And he made her his bride
And all of his Blood Hunting ceased.


I have to poke at the Blood Slave issue..... it's become a sore spot for me, I'll try to come up with one that is less tame at some point. ;)

[Gandalf Parker]

I asked for the reasons to buy it
and I finally thought that Id try it
but now I dont eat
or get any sleep
Ive lost weight on the "Dom3 Diet"

[Tifone]

Lol great one Gandhi :D

[cleveland]

An ailing old Blood Mage sat mourning,
while giving his hunters this warning:
"Time's now a Burden!
Find every virgin!
For surely there'll be none by morning!"

***credit to vfb for the BoT idea*** :)



There once was a young Hierodule,
Who soliloquized thus to his tool:
''You took all my wealth
And you ruined my health
And now you won't pee, you old fool."

***credit to Mr. Vonnegut*** ;)

[analytic_kernel]

An ailing old Blood Mage sat mourning,
while giving his hunters this warning:
"Time's now a Burden!
Find every virgin!
For surely there'll be none by morning!"



And you ruined my health
And now you won't pee, you old fool."


I think this may be why some cultures value the purity of virgins for reasons other than blood sacrifice. ;)

[sansanjuan]

Thee once was a Jotun from Led
Who let his pristhood go to his head
Till a long dead horseman
Decapitated the Norseman
As he tried remove un from undead

-ssj

[RabbitDynamite]

A Warlock's mood was sinking quite low,
For magic blood he wanted to go,
slaves virgin he couldn't find,
Drove him quite out of his mind,
Turns out he'd been looking in Glasgow.

[Fantomen]

She said to the warlock so merry:
"Well sorry, but I´ve popped me cherry"
Too naive in his craft
(and perhaps a bit daft)
He thought she referred to the berry.

[Gandalf Parker]

His god made some casting suggestions
but the mage made some combat corrections.
His actions were noted
and he was promoted.
To Fever Fetish Utilization!

[melnorjr]

Would I be lynched for suggesting that you are supposed to write limericks in anapests? The anapests are what make them feel so...bouncy? and make them easy to read like a limerick. The majority of people aren't doing this, though clevelands two and gandalf's ones are pretty anapestic(but gandalf tends to have one awkward line in each one)

Sorry, I'm an english major.

In bogarus a man was quite old
And wrote lim’ricks that were a bit bold
about skopets and khlyst
So they cut off his wrist
And now hes an angel fivefold

see? lots of happy anapests.

[sansanjuan]

M,
I think we broke even more convention with our "Haiku". ;)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=37933&highlight=haiku

-ssj

[melnorjr]

M,
I think we broke even more convention with our "Haiku". ;)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=37933&highlight=haiku

-ssj

I hadn't seen those yet. :/

[Doo]

There once was a monkey from Kailasa
Who went looking for a new master
He said "Awe is all nice"
"but at 320 gold I don't like the price"
So he formed Lanka and summoned something nastier.

[Squirrelloid]

Doo, your meter, it burns.

[sansanjuan]

There once was a giant from Gath
Who struggled with numbers and math
But though he can't add
His sword was not bad
At subtracting all who stood in his path

-ssj

[Squirrelloid]

Once a lilot quite fond of castration,
Known to favor deep penetration,
Having failed at seduction
She surmised by deduction
The best end was a defenestration

[Doo]

Doo's meter, it sucks
Squirrelloid says "your a putz!"
Even the rhyme is dicky
Even I take my mickey
But to you all I simply say "Nuts!"

:)

[Gregstrom]

There once was a forumite named Sombre
Who most thought to be one mean hombre.
But then he got banned
'stead of smacked on the hand
Which altered the whole forum's timbre.

[Gandalf Parker]

Which altered the whole forum's timbre.
Boy aint that the truth.

[Swan]

Maybe not 100% dominions but let's give it a try

in a cave this slave, once brave
in avalon they kept him in the grave
the wardens tortured him with fire
fire to shadow, price for conspire
fire to shadow, do not misbehave
////////////////////////////////////
"let's take this one oni cook
never took a look to a book
a pole was apple, flour is flower
taught her science to her daughter!"
thanks for the warning, br'er rook
////////////////////////////////
this machakan man liked to joke
said a yo mama to the wrong folk
the king's ear heard him, reported
the king's eye sawed him, judged
be hurted, sawed, to become smoke

Are they correct?

[Stavis_L]

Are they correct?

Not to dash your hopes about becoming a gaming limerick master, but no. They don't follow the appropriate meter for limericks. I appreciate that this is probably a lot more difficult for a non-native speaker, but you might have a look at some limerick resources. For starters, see Wikipedia's entry on limericks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29).

++ for enthusiasm, though :-)

[Swan]

i melted my mind trying to understand the whole amphibrach thing and i guess i completely missed the mood of them.
At least the rhyme scheme was right.
Mind enabling the privte message? i wanted to ask other things, but i don't think this is the place

[Squirrelloid]

Writing Limericks:
ok, its really not that hard. Limericks are based primarily on soft-soft-hard feet, with the (very) occasional iamb permitted. (The famous and not really produceable here in its entirety "Man from Nantucket" limerick starts with an iamb in the first line and has an iamb in the second line).

A line may end either on the final hard, or with a trailing soft after the last hard. The Man from Nantucket's first line:

There once was a man from Nantucket

Hard syllables are bolded. Note most of the feet are soft-soft-hard (excepting the first foot, which is an iamb), and the line ends with a trailing soft syllable. Note that soft-soft-hard is anti-dactyllic, or

Limericks also traditionally have 3 feet per line for lines 1,2,5; and 2 feet per line for lines 3,4. These distinctions also match up with lines that are supposed to rhyme.

So, basic rules:
AABBA rhyming scheme.
A lines have 3 feet, B lines have 2 feet
Most feet should be anti-dactyllic, but the occasional iamb is permitted (no more than one per line).

Using my limerick as an example, emphasized syllables are bolded:

Once a lilot quite fond of castration,
Known to favor deep penetration,
Having failed at seduction
She surmised by deduction
The best end was a defenestration