Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha

[Bwaha]

:D Hi, I like to laugh, I want to make you laugh. This games goal is to reduce the Dom. community to giggles. The theme will be thematic humor. Here the details:

Server: Llama
PBEM
Players: I don't know yet. Lets see how many jokers are in this deck.
Map: Alexander
Turns: 48 hours, quick host.
Era: Middle
Hall of fame: 15
Mods: Worthy Hero's
Victory: The Master of Humor. (He that posts the best thematic humor.) There will be a vote at the end of the game.
Magic sites: Default
Renaming: On (Oh the hilarity.)
Graphs: On
Missed turns: Two in a row and you will be replaced.


Races
Bwaha: Rylah :D
Ossa: Tein chi
Gregstrom: Machaka
Starshine: Atlantis
Mithras: Ermor
Ylvali: Bandar log
Tifone: Abysia
Crust:C'tis

[Gregstrom]

Well, I'd be up for a laugh.

[Ossa]

I'd like to join as TienChi. I'd like to show you how to dominate the world with fly wisks.

[Bwaha]

Well a Whit, Come on lads and ladies, We will entertain the notion of a few half's. Do you have a map in mind, Something thats easy on the eyes? Its kinda hard to pick a map not knowing how many players will participate. I hope for about 8-10 players.:D

[GrudgeBringer]

Hmmmmmmmmm, I will play and since I have never played MA (and I'm pretty bad anyway) I should get a Laughing Start if you all don't mind.

I will have to go eeeeeny meeeny mineee mo to pick a nation.

Ahhhhh, decisions...decisions:p

[GrudgeBringer]

OK, I will take JotunHeim , Iron woods

I figure IF I take them they can be no threat to anyone as I have a way of making the most Fierce kinda.....meek?

In fact I think I will name my Pretender 'Charmin' because its so...'Huggable'!!

(If you don't get it ...its OK because you have to be an 'Older American TV watcher to get it):doh:

[Gregstrom]

I'll go for Machaka, mostly because the idea of a Colossal Fetish pretender is far too good to miss.

[Starshine_Monarch]

I'd like Atlantis please. Who else is up for fresh Lobster? *blublublub*

[Xietor]

Might i suggest you use Throne of Heroes. It is the Worthy Heroes 1.8 update for the Middle Era only. I would like to see it used in a game to get feedback.

Turin, the Worthy Heroes author edited and approved the Throne of Heroes update to WH 1.8.

It has some new Worthy Heroes, and uses onebattlespell feature on some. It also corrects some bugs in WH 1.8.

Burnsaber has several of his heroes added in Throne of Heroes, and I added a few myself.
All significant changes from WH 1.8 are included on the readme.

There are some significant upgrades to many of the human heroes. Oceania in the water got several Worthy Heroes, as they have no base game heroes. There are a few races that got no tweaks. regrettably, tien chi was one. Throne of Heroes fixed a bug with Jotunheim where the summoning of one of their heroes was not working.

[Gregstrom]

Well, I'm in favour of that.

[Mithras]

My first mp game, I'll go for ermor and my pretender shall be called George... or Gordon, now there's a decision
(note may need to be babied on the technical side of things but will happily be crushed IG, prefebaly by Tien Chi...)

[Bwaha]

Okay we'll try it. BTW Batman the animated series is what inspired me to make this game. Truly awesome anime. Okay, any more jokers out there? Nows the time to sign up. :D

Ps. If someone would make a map of Gotham suitable for this game I would love it. Please remember that there will be at least two water races.:D

[Ylvali]

I´d like to join in. As Bandar Log I shall swarm you with hordes of mighty markatas.

[GrudgeBringer]

K with me, do I need to D/L something? AND go over all the mods agian pLeaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Bwaha]

Hi, the only mod. I'm comfortable with is worthy heros. I'm concerned about the new one, but I find myself trusting this community more and more. The mod. is Throne of heros. Heh, I had a amusing thought. Playing Dom. in gotham, The Horrors Modded to look like the Bat, Lesser horrors, the bat brats. Nah too much work.:D

[Xietor]

Here is a link to Throne of Heroes thread. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=40540

This is NOT a new mod. It is an update to Worthy Heroes 1.8 Middle Era only.

It does add new heroes. The readme includes the changes that were made. Human heroes which are generally underpowered and useless after the start of the game, receive new abilities tthat inflict afflictions. Four or five heroes got a new modding ability, onebattlespell.

Turin the Mod author, the guy who created Worthy Heroes, helped edit it and gave it his stamp of approval. It was not called WH 1.9 to avoid confusion with a planned future update that includes all 3 eras.

Throne of Heroes is an update to Worthy Heroes 1.8 Middle Era only. It makes no changes at all to the EA or LE WH 1.8.

[Tifone]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Hey, every single person around with 2 eyes... oh ok, even 1, sorry Agarthans... can see I love thematic humour :D Just give a look at my sig! (expecially the LolDominions thread, my first posts there! *sigh*)

I absolutely suck at MP and even SP sometimes if it's a stormy day (bad energies in the air!) and never tried Middle Age as well. If you people accept this worthless man anyway, I'd join with pleasure (mostly for the bright theme I admit ;) )

Being a naturally warm guy, it is spontaneous for me to ask for Abysia. :mean:

My only concern comes from the very small time. Just 24h, and quickhost, could really come to a bad sinergy with my university duties. I'll do my best but if you see I start missing turns just replace or AI me :o

(Bwaha, can you clarify WHO THE HELLFIRE WINS THE GAME??? :angel)

[Xietor]

Abysia in Throne of Heroes gets a pretty serious new hero. you may want to take luck if Throne of Heroes is used.

Though heroes sometimes do not appear even with luck 3 and 200 turns. it is a random thing. But you double the chance they appear with 3 luck.

Your base chance is 3 percent a turn. luck adds an extra 1 percent chance. misfortune subtracts a percentage point.

So luck 3 gives you a 6 percent chance each turn to get a hero. Misfortune 3 makes it impossible to ever get a hero.

Good Luck.

[Tifone]

Oh, I knew the mechanics (tnx for the reminder anyway :D ) but didn't know about nice Abysian heroes. Thanks for the tip so Xietor :)

[Bwaha]

Welcome aboard to this ship of fools Tifone. To clarify the victory conditions, the Master of Humor is the person who thru the course of the game posts the best in theme humor. After thinking about it, I think 48 hr turn is better. Sorry if I'm not funning around right now. I wrenched my back and I'm on some pain meds, so I guess I'm a half wit.:D

PS. Still trawling for a few more more bites.:D

[Mithras]

I can't find the folder where my created pretender is supposed to be... The manual said it should be in /savedgames/newlords but I can't even find the /savedgames folder... I'm using a vista operating system- are they hidden folders or something? I can still use the pre-created pretenders in my games... thanks in advance.

[fungalreason]

I can't find the folder where my created pretender is supposed to be... The manual said it should be in /savedgames/newlords but I can't even find the /savedgames folder... I'm using a vista operating system- are they hidden folders or something? I can still use the pre-created pretenders in my games... thanks in advance.

Yeah Vista puts them in a funky place due to the "User Account Control" feature. Check under "\Users\[your login]<YOUR name user>\AppData\Local\VirtualStore\Dominions\". You should find what you're looking for there.

Or you can turn off UAC via ControlPanel->SecurityCenter->Other Security Settings. Then when you save games or pretenders, they'll be under your program files directory like you would expect.

[Gregstrom]

Find the folder Dom3 is stored in, and within that is a folder called \savedgames.

I'm not familiar with the Vista folder structure, sadly. A trick that works in XP is to find the shortcut you use to launch the program, right-click and select Properties, then click on Find Target.

Edit: Ninja'd! And by someone with knowledge of Vista.

[Mithras]

Thanks fungal and thanks Greg for trying :)
Got around the mod thing by sticking a new folder in the hardrive part of the thing, I'm suprised I didn't give the game an owie... now on with the funies!

[Tifone]

It is a pleasure, Bwaha! I'm sure we will have great fun and the thread will be populated of funny posts ;)

I can't think a better way to thank you about the 48 hours turn, than this one:

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/batjoktifbwaha.jpg

Looking forward to play with you all soon :D

[Crust]

Still possible to join? C'tis for me.

[Bwaha]

Welcome abord laddy, Ha, ouch, Ha, Ouch, ha, Ouch. Great, Tifone's gonna kill me with laughter before we even start. Tifone I would like to appoint you second in command, that way if someone drops a safe on me the game will continue. Well back to work. Yuch. :D

PS. If you are killed, You can still post. the downside is the comics worst fear, no new source material. for example I fully intend to rename the mages that I mind control. If I'm dead I have none so that plan would have to be thrown overboard. :D

[Tifone]

My friend, being your lieutenant would be an honour for me, but I'm a complete noob and already admining' my first newbie MP game (Principe); so taking your place here when Abysian troops will descend upon you like a ton of bricks might be far above my abilities. (Note to myself: not the best metaphore, a ton of bricks sinks in R'lyeh's water :( )

[Starshine_Monarch]

(Note to myself: not the best metaphor, a ton of bricks sinks in R'lyeh's water :( )

Then again, so do Abysians, so it's probably not as bad as you think. The problem is getting them out hot and fresh like before. Nobody likes a soggy Abysian... except us water nations that is.

[GrudgeBringer]

Bwaha, I am going to have to Pull out of this game.

I am in 9 games and we had ahhhhh errrrrrrr discussion on the time spent on turns and I lost. Since I go to the gym 5 days a week, have Rugby Practice twice a week and Play on weekends Dom has to have limits....

I don't understand what she is so worried about....I see her twice a day in the hallway!!!!

[Bwaha]

No problem Gb. Okay, we want one more player to replace Gb. Now we have to discuss what map we want. It really shouldn't matter much. Any suggestions? I would like to start the game Saturday. So any comments, questions, ect...? :D

[Bwaha]

Hey someone get a copy of the game to Terry Pratchett. Hmm, on second thought, don't. I would easily be trumped by him.

On Illithid humor, it is a common occurrence for Illithid humor to be found too deep for the surface dwellers.:D In view of this we will open to deserving students, The most excellent Rylah School of Cuisine. There they will be taught the course, To Serve Man.:D More on this later.

Back to the subject of the map. What do you think of the Pangaea map? I want a map thats easy on the eyes, yet fun to play on. So please ask the more experienced players for suggestions. Thanks, I will be back at about 20:30 PST.

[Mithras]

Ooh another Prachet zealot!
Note I'm making ermor into a spoof USA,as satire isn't one of the most apreciated forms of comedy I will offer the following disclaimer:
If anyone is a Bush-ite (If I didn't edit this bit then my reason for editing would obviously be a lie- my first encounter with automatic internet censorship doesn't seem to have gone well, sorry serious again now), a fervont US patriot, support the rupblican candinates for the whitehouse (Thanks to whatevers up there for Sarah btw)and/or don't want to see anymore of my silly little sentences in brackets. Then speak now, if not then I'll just get on with my plans for exploiting Machaka's resources.
Thank you for reading

[Starshine_Monarch]

Did you guy's know that the uncontrollable urge to make jokes and puns is actually a form of mental sickness called Witzelsucht? There have only been a few definite cases, but the first confirmed case, and the case credited with naming the disease was in a remote Ulmish castle on the coast. A local smith with a tendency to slur his words would often scold his apprentice, Witzel for making horrid puns during work with the line "Witzel, sucht up." How was he to know that during the next few months the rulers of R'lyeh would storm their castle, reducing everyone to gibbering madmen?

To summarize, if another player's jokes start getting worse and more numerous, it means Bwaha's punishing them in-game.

...
...
...

Uh oh...

[Tifone]

That one was horrible, plain horrible, quite enjoyable though :D

(Bwaha, I think you're missing to update or at least answer to Crust's entrance in our little club with C'tis, see? ;) )

How many more players are we waiting for akshualy? :p

[Bwaha]

Thanks Tifone, I missed that completely. I think one more player will be fine. If no-one else wants to join thats okay. Everyone ok with Pangaea map? Saturday I will close the game to new submissions. Thanks guys, I can see this battle of "wits" will be quite funny.:D

[Starshine_Monarch]

I'll have to go familiarize myself with it, but I'm OK with Pangaea.

[Mithras]

Sounds fun, I can post around saying the one god George must have created everything otherwise we'd all be medium sized lizards trying to be bigger lizards... (Yes imagine what it will be like when I get Ry'leh starts beating me :))
Ps. I should really get someone to write a program that doesn't let me type anything on this machine after 22:00 because it obviously doesn't do much to benifit the internet community.

[Bwaha]

Excerpt from textbook. "To Serve Man": On the subject of Illithid Mind Blasts, As you know the surface dweller use a similar method to paralyze their victims. But our method is much superior, we simply target one part of the brain, the part that controls reflexive humor. It is much easier to make the subject collapse from giggles than to freeze their whole brain. The benefits of this process include improved texture and a considerable increase in flavoniods...:D



Allright signup is closed. Sorry guys Llama server doesn't support the suggested mod. So Worthy Heros is the sole mod. So lets weigh anchor and set sail.:D Send in your pretenders. Bwaha ha ha ha.:D

[Tifone]

Ehm, as my extreme n00bness wasn't maybe self-evident yet, I'm gonna ask which "Pangaea" map are you guys referring to. Do you mean "A Pangaean Earth"? Not to split hairs on the name, it's that just I don't get what should I download :D

[Mithras]

Can't see joker on the awaiting pretenders list...

[Xietor]

I think you can use any mod you want, you just need to get LLamabeast to download it if it has not been used before. I sent him a pm. But I do not want to hold you up. So if you get started before Llamabeast gets it downloaded that is fine.

/cheers.:)

[Bwaha]

Okay, I've set it up, sorry about the delay. I went to a new pub last night and it was really loud. Kinda messed with my thoughts. Imagine my suprise when I turned my computer on and found myself on the Llama Server game set up page.:D

[Tifone]

Waaait, there's a problem. The link to the map into the llamaserver page brings to the Mines and Farms map, not A Pangaean Earth. It does so even if you click it in the "Create Game" page, so the game might be set up in the Mines and Farms map and not in our one.

I think you should ask llamabeast about that, boss :D

[Bwaha]

A rather pretty starchild wearing red pumps comes to the podium and taps on the microphone, Ahem, I have a urgent request, I'm really concerned about global warming. Too long have the surface dwellers dumped their pollutants into the waters. To rectify this problem We've created a new wing in our military branch. This new organization is called: Illitheds for the Ethical Treatment of Amphibians. In short this will be referred to as I E T A. The duties of said group shall be the surprise inspection of gross polluters in their labs. We humbly ask for your donations at this time. Also we view the threat of the spread of the Abysian heat to be of dire consequences.:D

[Bwaha]

Okay then lets choose a new map, We will abanbon Joker and call it the new and improved Joker. I joker...:D

[Mithras]

The great George now has a target, the great armies of Mcdonalds and Oilcorps will descend into the seas to give those um... water huggers something elst to think about... you are now part of the axis of evil for trying to halt magical research and just plain being to for your boots. Global warming? Thats the3 sort of idea you get when you live under water... George has spoken.

[Bwaha]

Okay, here's a link to the new map: http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=5900&d=1199233709
I know this map works. Kinda roomy for us but thats okay.:D
The new map is Alexander. Boy this last problem really suprised me. I hope that everything works smoothly now.:D

[Bwaha]

Drats, tin foiled again. Llama please delete the following games: Joker, I, I, i, and jokester. I will try again not using a short cut. Arrgh, what the hells going on. I'm sorry guys. I don't want to fill Llama server with continued attempts. I typed the game name in very precisely, :confused: I guess we have to wait for help from above. Llama, HELP!!!

[Tifone]

Ahah, you're bringing your IETA from one game to another, man? :D

Abysia's government says that we've nothing to with global warming, which is by the way, our government still says, a wicked unproven plotted lie! ...unfortunately.

We've, nevertheless, a lot to do with the wave of hot temperatures which will PURGE THE WORLD OF THE INFERIOR BEINGS in the next months. We recommend drinking at least 2 litres of water every day , eating fruit and vegetables :bananas: :tomato: :orange: :cherry: :pear: :apple: :strawberry: :lemon: :grapes: :kiwi: :carrot: , and prepare an urn for your CINDERS.

Take care!
:mean:

[Bwaha]

One last try, I will avoid starting with an I. Jokester is the new name. And yeah I did import the concept of I E T A. The other guys didn't seem to get it.:D


Nope, that didn't work either. I'm sorry, we will have to wait for some help. :confused:

[Mithras]

Thats definately an excuse to add YOU to the axis of evil. Threat of extreme heat... Anyone else? Before my pencil spontaneously combusts?

[Tifone]

Mister Bwaha, what are you doing? Is that you who tried to create those two I and i games? And why are all the submitted gods disappeared from Jocker and it says Invalid Age?? :shock:

[Bwaha]

Yeah, thats my clumsy attempts to fix the problem. I propose a delay till Llama fixes my mess. I don't want to mess with this further, this is driving me batty. I set up Storm and everything went well. I'm completely baffled. So I will set this up later. Again I'm sorry...:(


I just contacted Llama, hopefully he will come to the rescue.


Okay, He did. Please try Joker2. Yes it worked so lets get to it.:D:D

[Bwaha]

Man I wish I could clear out old posts. Okay submit your pretenders to Joker2.:D

[Starshine_Monarch]

Um, did we get the wrong map? We agreed on Pangaea right? Why does it say the map is Alexander?

[Tifone]

A Pangaean Earth gives the wrong link in llamaserver, Starshine_Monarch. It links to the Mines and Farms map. Not that MaF is a bad map, absolutely, but not even knowing in which map we'll end up seems weird :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

We are still using Pangaean Earth, despite what it says right? Or do I have to download this one now?

[Tifone]

No, we're using Alexander because Pangaea very probably doesn't work :o Yes, you have to download Alexander.

[Bwaha]

Yes, sorry about the confusion. Alexander is the map. Heres the link: http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=5900&d=1199233709

There was something wrong with the way I was trying to set up the game. What that was, I don't know. Anyway I'm just happy to get started.:D

[llamabeast]

A Pangaean Earth is fine. I don't even know what you mean. Are you sure when you clicked on it you hadn't previously been on Mines and Farms and it was just slow to update?

If you want to play on A Pangaean Earth I can easily change it back for you. So can you in fact (just go to admin options and click "Change game settings"), but I can do it if you prefer.

[Tifone]

No, really mr. llama, the download link onto "A Pangaean Earth" continues to drive me to Mines and Farms.

[llamabeast]

Ah, I misunderstood, sorry Tifone.

The download link is only for users actually though, the server doesn't make use of it. Nevertheless I'll fix the link. Thanks for pointing out the error.

[llamabeast]

Ah, I misunderstood, sorry Tifone.

The download link is only for users actually though, the server doesn't make use of it. Nevertheless I'll fix the link. Thanks for pointing out the error.

[llamabeast]

Okay fixed that.

Man, it seems there's always a few more bugs hiding in the woodwork...

[Tifone]

Np, thanks for the fixing and for the work you do for the community ;) (p.s. remember even my game plz when you have the time :D)

Bwaha what do we do? Shall we return to Pangaea or we stick to Alexander? :)

[Bwaha]

Well I think I ran into Llama server anti-hacking protocols yesterday. That was very frustrating, But thats all behind us.

As far as which map we will use, I was test driving the Pan map and found the map unbalanced. So I think we should stick with Alex.


Hey, if you want to laugh go look at Balbarian's 300. Its in the Intel Bar and Grill. Now we just need the rest of youze jokers to submit their pretenders. :D

[Tifone]

Yep, Pangaea is unbalanced as map and lacks chokepoints. It's very beautiful graphically though.

Well I'm looking forward to burn your backs, guys :D Send those jellyfishes of pretender to the battlefield!

[Bwaha]

Allright, everyone is in. Game starting in 3, 2, 1. :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

In the beginning, there was Chaos...

Out of Chaos rose worlds populated with multitudes of beings. Mean words were spake, kings and emperors rose and fell as they kept stubbing their toes and fanbases were built and crumbled as millennia passed. Comics, unoriginal and strange, were worshiped in pagan nightclubs. Still there was Chaos. The comics fought amongst themselves bringing even worse jokes to those who would hear them. At last there was One, a Being of great wit and humor who rose above His immoral peers and cast them out of the Spotlight into C-list-dom. From Chaos came Laughter and with Laughter came peace and the creatures of the world flourished. The Age of Chaos had ended.


Now the Wheel has turned once again...

The supreme Comic has suddenly disappeared. Poorly considered blasphemies are left without a witty comeback and the cheers of fans rise in vain to the Heavens. No one knows why He disappeared, but it is certain that the people of the worlds are once again left without comedy, without taste in humor, without laughter. Now is the time for comedians of great skill and ambition to try their wit. The Throne of the Heavens stands empty and only the most clever may pluck the whoopee cushion from it's seat. Only the funniest may ascend to take the spotlight from He Who Came Before. This is a time of great grief and suffering. This is... The Joker Wars!!

[Tifone]

Best. Start. Eva.

Really, Shiny, I will miss you after cooking you.

[Gregstrom]

High Voice of the Lord
Temple of Tamakeri
Machakan Plain
Machaka 31836

Managing Director
Gods 4 U Plc.
Unit 314c
Ambrosia Business Park
Cloud 5
Limbo


Dear Sir,

While the priesthood of Machaka appreciates the speed at which you supplied the 'God'n'Environment SuperPlus Service<SUP>TM</SUP>', we have some serious reservations over the actual quality of the service. The God Forest was delivered to the wrong location and we received not one, but 5 God Mountains! To make matters worse, not one of these arrived at the right address and our capital now lies in near-permanent shade as the bottom of a deep valley.

On the bright (or at least less shadowed) side, our newly dark conditions are a good growing environment for the giant spiders who's eggs you supplied. We would however have preferred it if the small print explaining the need for incubators had been slightly less well-hidden. I believe that the ambient heat of the caves deep within God Mountain might have been sufficient for the task, but due to the delivery problems mentioned above that possibility remains one for academic debate alone.

Finally, there is the matter of the Pretender you supplied. I am sure that the call center I contacted was outsourced for sound economic reasons, but the agent I spoke with apparently had some difficulty understanding me. I specifically ordered a Colossal Fetish Pretender, and most emphatically NOT a Pretender with a colossal fetish!! When Tamakeri arrived, his subjects had barely five minutes to worship him before he disappeared into the deepest interrogation level of the temple basement with a dozen sorceresses in tow, and no-one has seen him since. The one initiate we sent in to investigate is no longer capable of lucid conversation bar an occasional muttering about manacles.

In view of the gap between our expectations of your quality of service and the realities we have experienced, I have no choice but to request a full refund.

Yours,

Thunbu
High Voice of the Lord Tamakeri

[Mithras]

The top Ermorians were scutteling around the place like ants... one day they had a perfectly good comic, the next poof. Those people were unreliable. So now they had to hire this new guy from across a few oceans, George he was called and apparently he could do interesting tricks with a pingpong ball... Anyway they had other problems the next to free immigrant labour had dried up, so the coorporations had to rely on necromancy to keep production going, it wasn't looking good for ermor, but at least they still had their sense of humour, those that weren't walking dead anyway...

[Mithras]

So far best post goes to Gregs, I actually laughed, and now someone kill be quick so I can bow out, I kept telling myself I was only funny when I wasn't trying :(

[Starshine_Monarch]

Thunbu and I must have shopped at the same place for a pretender. Atlantis's very own Mr. Tentacles, apparently so unimpressed with the Queens of the deep almost immediately wandered off muttering in a rather miffed tone something about "frog faces" and "pointy coral panties."

Besides Tifone, I thought Abysians were allergic to calamari? Had something to do with the water I think. :P

[Tifone]

Actually, we are allergic to a lot of things. Trust a fool, don't feed us, you don't wanna be where an army of 80+ Abysians is caught by Explosive Dysentery.

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/nuclearexplosion2.jpg
That was last time we ate French cheese.

[Crust]

Actually, we are allergic to a lot of things. Trust a fool, don't feed us, you don't wanna be where an army of 80+ Abysians is caught by Explosive Dysentery.

Let's hope the Machakan fetishist's shares this view. :eek:

[Starshine_Monarch]

I'd suggest staying away from Bandar Log then. I imagine you'll find the curry in particular depressingly mild.

[Starshine_Monarch]

Also on that not, I'd highly recommend staying away from C'tis. Gods only know what happens to a man's insides in their dominion, and with all the swamp gas around there, you might just have another French Cheese incident on your hands, or even worse.

[Tifone]

Hey, man, we aren't in culinary jaunt, we're in a furious war commanded by the bloody lust for expansion of our brutal God Flamegasm!!!!

...oh, and he gave us all sandwiches packed in cellophane for dine, prepared with his tender loving hands.

[Starshine_Monarch]

Hey, man, we aren't in culinary jaunt, we're in a furious war commanded by the bloody lust for expansion of our brutal God Flamegasm!!!!

...oh, and he gave us all sandwiches packed in cellophane for dine, prepared with his tender loving hands.

Ah, some nice toasted subs, am I right? Scorched beef with some zesty Red Virgin sauce? Sounds lovely.

[Gregstrom]

They call it beef, but I have my suspicions.

[Gregstrom]

Leaked internal memo from the Temple of Tamakeri

From: Thunbu, High Priest
To: Initiate Fanbo

Fanbo, I seem to recall you saying "let's send out the troops to take out one of the mountain tribes. They're only poorly trained savages, after all, so they won't prove much of a threat."

Only one thing got in the way of this oh-so-cunning plan; OUR troops are the poorly trained savages, remember? If I ever track down the genius who first said that hide shields and loincloths were all a true warrior needed for protection, I'll stick his cost-efficiency predictions where they'll do the most good - and then issue him with said shield and loincloth and drop him in the spider pit. Then we'll see just how much good his 'true watrrior's protection' does him.

The rank at this memo's header can be considered accurate, by the way. You're also now assigned to supplies, where hopefully less can go wrong. You can start in your new post by arranging for the extra shipments of black leather required by Lord Tamakeri. Quite what he does with it all and why he prefers it in thin strips should remain a mystery if you wish to retain a position in the priesthood. When you've sorted that out you can start arranging a supplier for the metal spikes and studs Tamakeri requires, and then organise the extra rubber tree plantations we're apparently going to need in the long term.

Also, remind me to interview for a Receiver of Divine Visions post if I haven't done so by the end of the week. I spent three hours trying to get clean after the last one, and I still feel wrong. I'll never look at our sacred hippos in the same way again.

Thunbu

[Starshine_Monarch]

They call it beef, but I have my suspicions.

So long as the troops don't call their rations "Soylens Veridians," there should be nothing to worry about.

[Crust]

Also on that not, I'd highly recommend staying away from C'tis. Gods only know what happens to a man's insides in their dominion, and with all the swamp gas around there, you might just have another French Cheese incident on your hands, or even worse.

Pull my finger.
- Prophet Mushdama, humble servant of the Farter of Gods, the Fart Raveler.

[Mithras]

Well the first problem had been solved, those lizards from south of the border had been stamped out... serve them right for not providing enough imigrant labour; they all wanted to be Emerion citizens anyway right?
Anyway that didn't matter who cared about lizards? It was time to give the pansies north of the border a hard time, and some of them still spoke... whatever it is that people from Arco spoke... and we all know that arcos was a country where full of cowards and people that thought! Of course Ermor had put a stop to that a couple of decades ago but some people hadn't learned that making money was the only way to go, oh well Ermor was still here to learn 'em.

[Bwaha]

HA Ha ha giggle... Void Gate 1 reports the first successful battle with some of the surface rabble. For his service Lord Kloanthos is rewarded with the Medallion of Mirth, which makes our noble troops even happier.:D


You guys have surpassed my expectations. Keep it up.:lol


Thanks. Bwaha :D

[Tifone]

Pull my finger.


...*pulls*...

[Crust]

http://img126.imageshack.us/img126/6444/nuclearbomb03ae8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Mithras]

And now we have nothing to fight over. Who pulled the finger? come on own up, you're only making it worse for yourself!

[Bwaha]

Eww, Okay thats enough green house gasses. I notice no one contributed to IETA. Okay if thats how you want it, I will send inspectors to your labs. Those found in violation of the clean waters act will be lobotomized. So if you value your BRAINs, send 50 gold care of Lord HA HA. Thank you for your cooperation.:D

[Crust]

Eww, Okay thats enough green house gasses. I notice no one contributed to IETA. Okay if thats how you want it, I will send inspectors to your labs. Those found in violation of the clean waters act will be lobotomized. So if you value your BRAINs, send 50 gold care of Lord HA HA. Thank you for your cooperation.:D

What benefit do we gain exactly for our "contributions"? A promise you'll enslave us gently?

[Mithras]

Lobotomy? Why didn't Ermor think of that? We could have had cheap labour that doesn't get destroyed by the first person wearing a towel instead of proper clothes.
Give us the technology!
Psst, we'd pay you for it but we're not giving money to anyone who wants to clean up the enviroment, so give us the technology and we won't burn the sea down kapeech? And if you don't think the sea can be burned then your in for a suprise :p

[Bwaha]

Hey, its not slavery, and the people that I rule over are merry. I'm a kind and benevolent dictator. Well okay it does say master enslave, but thats a long ways off. To answer your question as far as what you will receive, you gain from keeping the world a little greener. The waters purer, ect...:D

[Gregstrom]

I think C'tis win on the green credentials, by reason of their natural advantage.

[Crust]

http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/482/4znbr0nfj6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Aww. :o

[Mithras]

On that note ermor will soon be carbon nuetral due to not breathing.

[Gregstrom]

Sadly, recent research has shown that undeath on a massive scale is very disruptive to the ecosystem. Apparently finely ground, sanctified bonemeal works well as a fertiliser to repair some of the ecological damage.

[Tifone]

Rejoice R'lyeh, you will not find unclean water IN our labs. Actually the nearest drop of water is 500 miles west to our lab! But we ignore if clean or not.

Edit: Oh wait, it boiled off too.

[Mithras]

Well thats massively unfair, all we do is rot slowly! Now lizards on the other hand, your not doing much for ecological variability! Swamp swamp and more swamp yay!

[Gregstrom]

Ah, but those swamps are a miracle of biodiversity and home to some rare and highly endangered species of newts. Some of them even build cities... oh.

[Crust]

Well thats massively unfair, all we do is rot slowly! Now lizards on the other hand, your not doing much for ecological variability! Swamp swamp and more swamp yay!

Hey now, there's no end to the variety. Bog, fen, marsh, marshland, mire, morass, quagmire, slough, swampland and wetland, they all have their own beautiful gaseous emission. Your former worshipers may be inhaling this pungent mixture before too long.

[Bwaha]

Its the run off I'm concerned about. Atlantis you must feel the same way I do. These surface dwellers mean to defile our streams, lakes, and oceans. The least we can do is share intel on these inferior races. Maybe we can come to some sorta deal...


Vg1 has reported home due to amount of loot found and is operational at this point. Also we are proud to announce our recruiting on other planes a glorious success. They want to come here and play with others. Its rather boring out there. And now they want uniforms... :D

[Gregstrom]

They want uniforms? Now that's a truly hideous thought. And where do you put the epaulettes?

[Bwaha]

Ya got me, they're "Things from the Void". And are cute little tentacled guys, Also they are quite good with card tricks. :D

[Gregstrom]

If you pin medals on a Vastness, does it burst?

[Tifone]

No, its Blood Vengeance happens and you find them pinned on your face

[Gregstrom]

Transcript of conversation overheard between High Voice Thunbu and Mjibu, commander of the Northern Expeditionary Force.

Thunbu: I gather that before going up against a tribe of Amazons, warrior women known both for their high standard of martial training and for their habit of cutting off various sensitive parts of any male prisoners, you requested emergency supplies of... apples. I would love to hear your explanation.

Mjibu: Well, High Voice, it was as a result of scouting data I received.

T: Your scouts were hungry, perhaps?

M: They provided me with intelligence leading me to believe that the apples could be a useful part of our battle plan.

T: This must be some new meaning for the word 'intelligence', then. Possibly one involving the phrase 'UTTER STUPIDITY'! You had better explain this very carefully.

M (looking nervous): Well... yes, Lord. Upon reporting to me, the scouts mentioned that the Amazon cavalry's horses were looking pretty grim - all skin and bone, in fact. It occurred to me that they must be pretty hungry, and that any charge by them might be diverted if we could arrange for sufficient... distraction. It's well known that horses love apples, and I thought it was worth a try. My plan was to throw apples at the feet of the horses in mid-charge, in the hope of throwing their formation into disorder.

T: It sounds to me rather as if they skipped Amazons in the Warleader training school. I hope for the sake of your troops you arranged a test of your theory.

M: Err, yes Lord. Poor Shuhema... he snuck over to the animal enclosure in the night to carry out a test. He lost a hand, and I had to retire him from active duty.

T: So as ideas go, it was a terrible failure then.

M: Not entirely, Lord. While the apples were useless, I felt sure the basics of the plan were still worthwhile. When it came to the battle, we used raw steak instead.

T: (laughs) Good thinking, Mjibu. I trust you saw to Shuhema's future, though? He taught you a valuable lesson, and that should be rewarded.

M: Well, Lord, as he's still a young man I thought I'd set up something for his future. I gave him some land and arranged for him to assist in the administration of the province for a few years, to give him some sort of a living.

T: And after that?

M: I also took the liberty of leaving him some surplus supplies. After he leaves his work for the governor, he should have grown a mature orchard - and I imagine mountain-grown apples should sell for enough to give him a good living.

...

Transcript ends.

[Tifone]

YOU talk about the idiocy of your mages, Gregstorm?? Let me report what can happen leading a bunch of utter pompous Abysian mages.

"Ahahah! We are made by the strongest of elements! FIRE! Every single centimeter of our body and armours is totally immune to it! Look at my power, I will now concentrate and EXTEND MY NATURAL HEAT TO THE LIMITS!!! Behold!"

"Ehm, prophet, do you really believe it is a good ide..."

*the lab burns to the ground.*
500 gold literally in damn smoke.

If that doesn't s*ck, really, only Monica Lewinski does.

[Bwaha]

Hey, thanks guys, you helped me figure out the uniform problem. Since you seem to be concerned about Vastnesses, We have ditched the concept of cloth and now are using paint. Much cheaper also. Couple of shots and off you go. The color scheme is to mimic the vastness. Yep Polka dots.... Garish colors as well.:D

[Ossa]

Tifone - you're my joker of the day;)

[Tifone]

ABYSIA IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE!!!

We've finally ambushed and killed one of our most infamous enemies!!

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/smokey.jpg

Prevent THIS, furry!

[Starshine_Monarch]

I'd put him out, but he seems a bit too dead for that to matter much...

Is it bad that the only thing I can find funny about Atlantis right now would be it's place on the scoreboard? Normally I'm nowhere near this competent... Of course, it is still early in the game. I'm bound to screw up something eventually. Then all will be right with the universe.

[Gregstrom]

Heh. I've suffered badly from one of the game's secret units - the Bear Tribe Sniper. It doesn't seem to matter how far away from my other units I place my commanders - in the first couple of enemy arrow volleys one single shot separates from the rest and miraculously hits a commander in the face. If only they'd do that when I hired them...

[Starshine_Monarch]

Two words: Enchanted Shield. Better yet, three words: Shield of Valor.

[Gregstrom]

It's turn 10, and I'm not an Air or Astral nation. Black Steel Kite would have been a good idea though.

[Bwaha]

We are pleased to announce the arrival of everyones favorite critter, Mr Vastness. He really wants to play, so I'm just gonna send him out. He's in charge of lighting for our little skit. :D


We regret to inform you that our camoflurs can't paint the poor guy, due to problems applying the paint. He's in towering rage about it too. So rather than leaving him in the lab, (He's giving the Star Children nightmares) out he goes...:D

[Tifone]

I know I'm a n00b. I know I suck and I'm behind you all in everything, and you can crush me whenever you want... but...

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/arena.jpg

...But sometimes, the sweetest victories are the smallest ones ;D

The great BurnMyStick wins the Arena!!!

(Also, I'd like to point out that while I don't know if you edited your fighter's name Tuumhaa for some reason, Bwaha, it sounded hilarious in italian, specifically the funny tuscan dialect, which is mine. Translated, would be something like Yoooouuurrrmooootheeerrr...!! :D )

[Bwaha]

http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/weirdestanimalfrommadagascarayeaye.gif (http://imgboot.com/)



Drats, tin foiled again, Tifone I swear I'll get you next time. Cowardly priest, he was but one step to victory.:D

Now you got me doing it, Thanks.:D


http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/600xpopupgallerylarylah.jpg (http://imgboot.com/)


We come for you, Lord of the Hot Heads. :D Just kidding.

[Tifone]

Would you come later, please? We are everything but ready for a Vastness in this moment :D

[Bwaha]

Sure, I'll wait, Where's your capitol? I wouldn't like to send uninvited guests after all. We have a merry bunch of fools to liberate the dull masses from their dreary lives.:D

[Gregstrom]

Thunbu's Commandments for dealing with His Extreme Dodginess Tamakeri, v.1.1:

1: When you are asked to supply stilettoes, you are not being asked for daggers.

2: If you are whipped or beaten, it actually means that Tamakeri is pleased with you. This has caused confusion in the past.

3: The Lord Tamakeri may offer to shower you with gold. If this occurs you should refuse politely, or at the very least be sure to wear waterproof clothing.

4: The same advice applies to any offers of jewelry.

5: Don't mention any personal liking for improvised jazz singing - this is for your own good.

[Bwaha]

We are pleased to open a new agency...http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/funnycomplaintdepartmentsign.jpg (http://www.imgboot.com/)


Who's first? Bwaha ha ha ha he he, oops...:D


I've been playing LA Rylah too much...:crazy:

[Bwaha]

This organization was formed because of this letter from a new province: It was disgusting, these young lads were urinating in my fish pond,and kicking over my gnomes. I have never seen anything like it, I have lived here for 28 years, and my gnomes have never been attacked like this before.

I assure you that we love the little people, we think they are funny...:D

[Mithras]

We are proud to announce a new franchise, McFlavius's.
Opening now in a ermerion province near you
"We have VESTAL VIRGIN burgers!"
disclaimer, any teeth, eyelashes or other inedible body parts are in fact part of the package, meat may be slightly rotten.
This is what some famous people have said about our famous vestal burgers...
Tentacles of Atlantis
"Mr. Tentacles likes virgin burgers"

Come spend money in ermor now.
If you want to be part of our franchise send 500 gold to Ermor with directions to your nation. Then wait for the shambling undead horde to arrive :D

[Gregstrom]

Burgers are no good to spiders. The thing about your average corpse is that after you've squirted in enzymes to dissolve the meat, the skin works nicely as a sort of bag to stop it all dripping onto the floor and being wasted. Soulless on the other hand are great - the meat comes pre-dissolved and they walk right up to you... it's like a self-delivering takeaway.

[Mithras]

Based on new marketing infomation...
McFlavius's is now selling soulless, 100 gold for a crate of 10 souless, or go jumbo sized and have 30 soulless for 250 gold.
Let it never be said that we don't react to market demand.

[Gregstrom]

The spiders of Machaka are in awe at the responsiveness of such a large corporation to the potential of profit - err, to customer requests. We'd like to give our thanks to Mavis McFlavius personally, if possible.

By the way, are the corpses gluten- and lactose-free? Some of our spiders have sensitive tummies.

[Tifone]

We hope you offer something GRILLED and TOASTY too

[Gregstrom]

Do these restaurants work anything like Friedey's (http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/1536)?

[Mithras]

Glutton? Lactose?
How should we know? It just gets dumped in...
Everything deep friend on request! Including packaging.

McFlavius and co are not responsable for any harm caused by any goods sold by McFlavius. This product is not suitable for anyone with any type of allergy whatsoever. Warning may contain nuts, the recipe does not contain nuts but the factory may have contained nuts at one point in time (who's bright idea was it to outsource the production to Ry'leh?)

[Crust]

Could we please move to 48h quickhost or turn off quickhosting, I keep getting stales due to schedule conflicts.

[Gregstrom]

No objection to 48h here.

[Bwaha]

Back in the elder times I was the Pancreator's Jester, well lets just say he didn't like a joke I made. I thought it was the finest practical joke ever devised. He stripped me of my position and made me clean that factory. My job was to remove all dark matter from the factory. During the course of time, I absorbed a large amount of dark matter causing me to absorb heat. This is why I'm now allergic to fires, anyway they bound me in a ornate freezer and threw it into a dark and quiet lake. I was so bored for so long till I found Vault 77. Well after that there was no turning back, I helped the Puppet Man because it amused me so much. No longer bored I gained strength and freed myself. Then I opened the Void Gate and peered within, giggle, and found a civilization of Illitheds. More on this later... :D


Turns are now 48 hour QH.

We are pleased to announce a new gate in Melbourne Australia. Its located in the basement of Xavier College. For more info go here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7681876.stm

The Head Chef is graduate of our fine schools. :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

I just kind of felt we needed this for this game...

[Bwaha]

Warning, using the Void Gate can be hazardous. Three maji in three turns. Ouch.

I've delayed hosting till Llama gets back.:(

[Tifone]

What's happening, why the delay.

EDIT: Oh ok, I see the problem too.

[Gregstrom]

Although, rather oddly, the game has hosted. Presumbly Llamaserver still works, just not all the time.

[Bwaha]

I think Llama server got too close to the Void Gate. Atlantis, Please post your clever rant. It was excellent, and you should share it with others. Slapstick, HA Ha ha.:lol

[Starshine_Monarch]

Sorry, you're gonna have to do it. I don't have the message anymore. I really ought to consider backing up my turns.

[Bwaha]

http://mdw.li/lhc/lhc-webcams.html .:D

[Bwaha]

That was my halloween video. Scary, for something thats funny, try this: http://video.aol.com/video/jokers-favor/1727983. Takes about 45 min. but worth it. Bwahahaha. Have a happy and safe Halloween.:D

[Starshine_Monarch]

Ermor has just informed me of a new recycling program they've been using with Death Magic. Apparently common refuse can now be used as armor for longdeads.

http://paizo.com/image/product/catalog/OWD/OWD45015_500.jpeg

[Mithras]

Of course we'll need lots of gems to put this plan into action. Send us gems so that we can clean the world up :D
We assure you its all completely sustainable.
Glabal warming is a myth.
(above advertisement paid for by Abysia)

[Tifone]

Exactly. Like Evolution btw

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/dinosaurs.jpg

(hope the img shows)

[Mithras]

Who took those photos? It shall be made clear that:
Ermor did not build a time machine
We did not send any secret agents back in time
We have no plans to obliterate the dinosoars and destroy all fossil records
No such fossil record existed in the first place
The holy George created the world and all life

It can be proven that that picture is a hoax, the government of Ermor asks C'tis to identify their people who masquarade as dinosoars in the above picture and send them over to us. So they can be detained idefinately without trial.

p.s. psst C'tis, just send us some chumps to protect the good old credibilaty. In return we will open a branch of MacFlavius's in each and everyone of your provinces.

[Bwaha]

Atlantis, I wish to begin our slapstick routine at once. I wave any further delay. Do you want to get started now? Please respond before Llama Server is repaired. :bored:

[Starshine_Monarch]

I still have one thing to prepare for the first skit, so I would appreciate it if you would wait one more month.

[Bwaha]

Okay, after next turn the pie will fly.:D

[Starshine_Monarch]

Speaking of Llamaserver, has C'tis sent in his turn at all? It says the next turn was due three days ago, so I was wondering if it would automatically host when Llama comes back, whether C'tis was ready or not?

[Bwaha]

I will pm crust and try to get him to submit his turn. I want to try to keep on going if possible. I will force host sat. if no one objects. If there's problems I will do a roll back, although I'd rather not do this because of the ensuing confusion.:D

[Bwaha]

Sigh, delay till sunday.

[Tifone]

No problem for us. We can keep burning for eternity.

[Bwaha]

Tifone, you really are a kidder. I like you. Especially because I've finally found where you are. You really shouldn't leave those Macflavous wrappers laying around, They don't decompose well. :D

[Mithras]

If Abysia burns said wrappers neither Ermor nor MacFlavvius is liable for whatever harm that causes Abysians or the world. Is that a good enough excuse to cast darkn ess? :D
Ermor does not intend to cast utter darkness at this time or any, why blind all our trading partners BEFORE we run up a huge international debt. ;)
Oh and the council of Arch Theurgs recently considered voting a wright lord as our great god, but they though better of it, (this is why we have H3 preists at the polling stations :D) So all hail the great Bush, who hasn't turned up yet...

Just to remind you that if anyone at all is offended, just PM and I'll stop posting the stuff.

[Bwaha]

I like almost all humor including political humor, so keep it coming. If someone finds offence with the jokes here, well they can go elseware, some place dark and hot. I suggest Abysia.:D

[Tifone]

Abysia is hot but not dark, Abysia is bright, and will turn even brighter, as any unpeaceful invader, and the people which Bwaha send to us because they get offended by Mithras's jokes, will be used as torch.
:mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean:

[Gregstrom]

I agree completely. Abysia shall henceforth be the home for all those with burning political issues.

[Tifone]

Thanks, Gregstorm. With 2 votes in favour and 0 against (all the other members of our little Parliament are around with chicks I hope) the motion is passed and Abysia becomes the new "holiday place" of boring people (uff, we were running out of food for the salamanders).
Of course for stocking the "boring wastes" of you guys we want a little refund. :D

(On a totally unrelated note, glad to have all of you back again in the nest of jokers pplz :cheers:)

[Bwaha]

Our scientists have discovered a alarming byproduct found in Macflavous burgers. It seem as though the secret sauce contains bioflavonoids that impact the memory of the consumer. See :http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7685541.stm

After removing said compounds the secret is found, Macflavous produces such awful food that it causes memory loss. The secret ingredients actually block the formation of the chemicals that cause us to remember how truly awful the food was.

I E T A has now issued a statment of how toxic these products are. It apears that the toxins bind in the consumers brain cause a secondary effect of poor flavor as well. :D

[Mithras]

MacFlavius will say only this:
Our burgers are made only of the finest vestal virgins. Yes they are the shadow virgin rejects but we use them :) and we only put a few of the dead shadow virgins in there.
Hey Ryleh we outsource most of our production to you, what are you complaing about?

[Bwaha]

Its not a complaint, its a health warning. We want our future subjects to have healthy Brains. :D

[Bwaha]

Hey Starshine, I thought you were attacking me this turn. Did you reconsider your war of aggression? Well no worries. We will prosecute your leaders for crimes against Ichyidity. No longer will you enslave helpless marine life. :D

[Mithras]

Ermor has found that 80% of MacFlavius production is in Ry'leh, lobotomized workers are better than zombies for some strange reason. In addition to this Ry'leh is our chief and only importer of brains.
Therefore we have drawn up a few agreements with the tentacled people.
It goes like this, if they get into a scrap with anyone else we accuse them of having weapons of mass distruction and dissolve any NAPs with them. And vice versa of course.

Oh and Atlantis to seal the deal Ermor will join the slaps stick routine. (NAP dissolved turn 24, the zombies march over your border on turn 27 :D)

Who doesn't like to see a guy in a robe trip over himself? Even better when he has pie in his eye...

On a related note MacFlavius is now dumping huge amounts of Virgin Burgers into sea provinces known to belong to Atlantis... *Waits for Atlantis to become addicted to fast food and obese* Eat up while you can!

[Bwaha]

We have decided to send the Traitor King to try to convince the working class of Atlantis that our rule is much more benign. We will be a gentle ruler, in fact their taxes will go down for awhile. Due to a new secret sauce they will live a longer more productive life. This is why the corporate decision was made to flood the markets of Atlatis with the original formula of Macflavious burgers. Enjoy. :D


PS. On a note of the weird, a vastness attacked the guy looking in the void gate, and my guy won, ran the bugger off, heh, first time I seen that.

[Bwaha]

Guys, look at the oldest joke book:
http://publishing.yudu.com/Library/Au7bv/PhilogelosTheLaughAd/resources/index.htm?referrerUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fbeta.yudu.com%2 Flibrary%2Fitem_details%2F19544%2FPhilogelos--The-Laugh-Addict---The-World-s-Oldest-Joke-Book

Bwaha ha ha. :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

We have decided to send the Traitor King to try to convince the working class of Atlantis that our rule is much more benign. We will be a gentle ruler, in fact their taxes will go down for awhile. Due to a new secret sauce they will live a longer more productive life. This is why the corporate decision was made to flood the markets of Atlatis with the original formula of Macflavious burgers. Enjoy. :D

After a series of rather... intensive negotiations, the Traitor, one Executive Shadhul Ummush, ultimately failed to convince the loyalist Atlantians to go through with the merger.

The sharks however, thought the burgers were delicious and are coming back for more. :D

[Bwaha]

I've decided to coin a new usage of a English word. Dramatized, to be used when your significant other turns off the TV and turns on you.

On a lighter note, did you guys look at the oldest joke book? I was troubled that you have to pay to see the whole thing. I think I will pay the 8 bucks to have it. I spent awhile looking at ancient humor, to be specific Roman humor. Gads, those guys played rough. I was going to use it in this game but I found that it was just too rude to be suitable. Crucification jokes are not funny. I will continue to try to dust off some old jokes for your amusement. :D

[Gregstrom]

Here's a classic:

Q: What's the difference between a duck?

A: One of it's legs are both the same!

It may have lost some of its edge over the last couple of millennia.

[Bwaha]

My ex is quite a drama queen, and I'm feeling a little sad. I guess I'm suffering a little post-dramatic stress disorder.


Some one seeing a picture of Laconians being
killed by Athenians, observed, "Brave fellows,
these Athenians." "On canvas," interposed a
Laconian.

An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes, "The Athenians will kill you if they are in a rage." Demosthenes replied, "And they will kill you if they are in the right mind."


Agesilaus, intending to march through Macedonia,
sent to ask the king of that country whether
he intended to receive him as a friend or an
enemy. " I will consider," he replied. "Then,"
said the Spartan, "do you think about it, and
we meanwhile will commence our march." The
king very soon sent a message : "Come as a
friend."

:D

[Tifone]

BA-DUM TISSSSH


http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/cabaretpostersbwaha2.jpg

[Starshine_Monarch]

If Bwaha's life is a cabaret, then he's in the middle of a hostile takeover right now.:D Hell, that pretty much sums it up no matter what you compare him to at the moment.

[Bwaha]

Too all who wish avert this hostle takeover send cash and gems. That way I can hire Lawyers and build weapons.:D

[Mithras]

I'm sending a few old guys and the recently deceased right now, undead make good accountants, they work all night.
I had a nice easy merger right there and you ruined.
*Old guy in robe charges headlong into one of the two most powerful nations on the map*
A bit of help here?

[Bwaha]

I will send some shambler skin armor to you. That way you'll be able to send more mages.:D

[Mithras]

I knew we should have planned this, note if anyone has aquatic spies or scryers, look in the sea to see Ry'leh and Ermor tripping over themselves to get at beaten by Atlantis :D

[Ylvali]

SCANDAL IN PATTALA - MARKATAS FOUND IN SHIPMENTS TO MACHAKA SPIDER FARMS.

When loading a regular shipment of spider food, the bandar workers heard strange noises within the crates. When opening they were shocked to discover dozens of live markatas stuffed together with taped limbs and mouthfolds.

It seems the machaka spider stables have been shipping uncountable numbers of markata as spider food using connections with the bandar mafia.

This shocking discovery has forced the Rishi council to take immediate action and dissolve the non aggression pact with Machaka.

Representatives from the MI (markatas international) have lauched infuriating campaigns for a war of vengance. However this has not yet won the ear of higher castes, who thinks there are too many markatas anyway.

The daily primate - front page.

[Tifone]

Our holy lord of Abysia, His Hotness Flamegasm deeply apologizes. Looks like He inadvertently passed near Los Angeles these days... It's just that He got Lost around in Time and Space.

[Gregstrom]

The priesthood of Machaka would like to register their objection to the Bandar smear tactics being used.

Monkey diplomats have for many months been telling us that Marketa were huge fire-breathing lizards, and that was the cause of their concern over Marketa population. It was these same diplomats who offered us contracts for cheap supplies of spider food.

It is now apparent that Bandar quality control procedures are far less than they should be, and we have two specific complaints.

Firstly, we specified non-sentient food quite clearly in the initial order form. Eating too much brain tissue makes our spiders particularly bad-tempered and aggressive, and we prefer to avoid that except in times of war.

Secondly, all that duct tape has been gumming up our spider's mouthparts, which causes them great discomfort.

We had been assuming this was some sort of plot of the Bandar government, and were about to declare sanctions. Do the Rishi now deny this?

[Ylvali]

The priesthood of Machaka would like to register their objection to the Bandar smear tactics being used.

Monkey diplomats have for many months been telling us that Marketa were huge fire-breathing lizards, and that was the cause of their concern over Marketa population. It was these same diplomats who offered us contracts for cheap supplies of spider food.
Preposterous!! Markata are an ancient race and well known in the machakan jungles. And the notion that such a feared spy network as the bane cult would allow confusion between Rishi official diplomats and bandar mafia lackeys is just silly!! Your shallow lies smell of spider venom.

It is now apparent that Bandar quality control procedures are far less than they should be, and we have two specific complaints.

Firstly, we specified non-sentient food quite clearly in the initial order form. Eating too much brain tissue makes our spiders particularly bad-tempered and aggressive, and we prefer to avoid that except in times of war.

Secondly, all that duct tape has been gumming up our spider's mouthparts, which causes them great discomfort.

We had been assuming this was some sort of plot of the Bandar government, and were about to declare sanctions. Do the Rishi now deny this?We shall ignore your verbal web of nonsense but thank you for the inspiration. Duct tape has been handed out among the markata hordes in preparation for the upcoming war.

[Gregstrom]

Preposterous!! Markata are an ancient race and well known in the machakan jungles. And the notion that such a feared spy network as the bane cult would allow confusion between Rishi official diplomats and bandar mafia lackeys is just silly!! Your shallow lies smell of spider venom.

Actually, Marketa are completely unknown in Machaka. Our spiders did seem to like the taste - perhaps there's a connection there?

As for the idea of the bane cult being spies - this merely shows monkey ignorance of the historical richness of Machakan culture. Bane Spiders have never been, and never will be, used as spies. A six foot figure dressed in jet black armour and wielding a glowing sword is, frankly, not sufficiently inconspicuous to be any use as a spy.

It seems apparent to us that the so-called Bandar Mafia are in control of your diplomatic service, and we suggest that some sound governmental housekeeping would be in order.

[Tifone]

*phonecalls Erin Brockovich*

[Tifone]

TO ALL:

Abysia's frenzy on shopping! The Warlocks are going around like crazy with bags full of new clothes and shoes! In this mood, we are fully interested in buying esotical thingies from foreign countries!
We are interested in those nice green N gems, we are opened to buy up to 30 of those in an equal exchange with our virgins. Don't you always get girls if you have gems? :D
We are also opened in buying another pair or 2 of earth boots. We pay 20 blood slaves or 15 W gems each, don't miss the opportunity!! ;) PM me for the bargain!

PS: Mind that, in order to remain useful for the blood rituals, the virgins MUST REMAIN virgins!! :p

[Starshine_Monarch]

PS: Mind that, in order to remain useful for the blood rituals, the virgins MUST REMAIN virgins!! :p

Mr. Tentacles is disappointed at this development since, for as long as Mr. Tentacles can remember, Blood rituals have always seemed to have flopped in Mr. Tentacles's kingdom and Mr. Tentacles really has no other use for voluptuous young virgins. Business before pleasure though. Once Mr. Tentacles's and Mr. Tentacles allies inevitably conquer the surface world, Mr. Tentacles can have all the voluptuous young virgins Mr. Tentacles could want. Mr. Tentacles has waited over 2000 years for this chance, Mr. Tentacles can wait until the end finally comes.

Mr. Tentacles suggests that you send the virgins to Ermor, so that Mr. Tentacles might savor the taste of plundered McFlavious burgers made with spicy, Abysian meat.

Mr. Tentacles will see what he can do about Abysia's fashion issues.

(Mr. Tentacles suddenly visualizes a conversation between a Warlock and his apprentice:
"Apprentice, take a look at this. Do you think these boots make my bum look big?"
"Of course not, Master! You look ~fabulous~!")

[Mithras]

Undead virgin fetish? Need I say more?
Kill the monster!

[Starshine_Monarch]

Silly Ermorians... In Soviet Atlantis, monster kills YOU! AGAIN!

[Tifone]

All those "Tentacles" + "virgins"... all those japanese flavoured popups... iik :eek:

PS: For real fabulous, give a look at the Spring/Summer catalogue of our Magentas Armada!! Best uniforms and underwear in the world! (Fashion World War on horizon?) :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

All those "Tentacles" + "virgins"... all those japanese flavoured popups... iik :eek:

Crap, are you really getting popups like that? I wonder if I'd get any points if you can find this page in a Google search for tentacles...

[Tifone]

No, fortunately, you surely got what I'm referring to :shock:
Really, who draws those things? Who imagined those for first? :D:D:D

[Starshine_Monarch]

The oldest one that I've heard of is circa 1820.

But I'm sure you didn't need to know that.

[Tifone]

Now that you said about this, you made me remember some ancient oriental art images of women having intercourses with octopuses I have seen in a general culture magazine (hey, yeah, really, I swear that was a culture one... and yeah, definitively I didn't need to know that :D )


This makes me say... what the h3ll is happening between Atlantis and T'ien Ch'i??? :eek:

[Gregstrom]

Meanwhile, outside the world of tentacles...

This month a mob of Bandar mafiosi crossed the borders of sovereign Machakan territory, intent on pillage. They promptly kneecapped a crew of spear-waving villagers and announced they were in control of the entire province. It is believed that they were members of an elite squad called the Cosy Nostrils, whose motto is "sticks and stones may break your bones, so why use words?"

The next morning, all senior Machakan officials remaining in the province found spider's heads on the pillow beside them. In some cases it took a lot of searching - we would advise the Bandars to use the heads of giant spiders in future.

[Bwaha]

The kind Ermorian empire has kindly offered us the usage of their lands for a government in exile. We accept with thanks.:D


Heres a cool Hubble shot, I think it looks like a bear.


http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/web_1.jpg (http://imgboot.com/)

[Mithras]

Meanwhile in Ermor the high ups are busy preparing to go to ground, after a string of spectacular defeats and phyrric victories, plans are being drawn up to shift the leading powers into the next dimension, a few of the slightly madder mages are considering pushing the big red button. The licters are sharpening their blades and protesters are marching under the slogan of "Bring our bane lords home!"

We apologise for the confusion, brains are becoming hard to come by as the delegates from Ry'leh lobotomize our peasants and our leadership is starting to eat them through shear nerves, which isn't helping.

Long live George, oh and I gotta say I love the spider gag, brilliant!

[Gregstrom]

As the Bandar horde pushed westward into more Machakan territory, they encountered a picket line of warriors blocking their way. "Nice looking province, this," said the lead Bandar. "It'd be a shame if it were to... burn down, don't you think?"

Oh, the irony.
Oh, the simianity!

The ashes will be returned to the deceased's relatives in due course.

Machaka would like to ask the Bandar government why, if they have decided to stop Markata deliveries, there are several hundred rather inconveniently delivering themselves to our northern border. They aren't in the normal packaging, and none of them have been franked. I hope that doesn't mean we have to pay the postage.

[Tifone]

Abysia's shopping-mania is not over yet! 18 b-slaves or 200 gold to anyone interested in selling us a Thirstle Mace! (Unconfirmed off-the-record voices say that the head Warlock has a new fiancèe who particularly likes the creative use of this kind of spiky things in private...) :)

[Gregstrom]

We weren't aware your head warlock was in a relationship with our Pretender...

[Tifone]

"Oh... ehm... don't worry! I'm going to marry her!! And hey, look behind you! A three-headed monkey!! It's Bandar Log!"

*escapes*

[Gregstrom]

So it was. You should have seen the size of the ones that got away, too. They were thiiiiis big...

Now that Flamegasm's arrived on the scene, is he going to preside over the wedding ceremony?

[Bwaha]

Starshine asked for a delay thru this weekend. :D

[Tifone]

Lord Flamegasm isn't gonna come, sorry. He is busy cooking. People.

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/solardisccooking.jpg

No really, Abysia thinks that an arrival of Flamegasm on Machaka could... heat the feelings. And we don't want our spidey friends to feel attacked by us now that they are already having problems with monkey people (which btw got totally owned by Machaka on those mafia gags, sorry :D )

Btw nobody answered to our request for a thirstle mace :( We are ready to pay 400 gold or 23 slaves. Let us know!!

[Bwaha]

Due to a business emergency I must leave for at least a few months. Since I'm almost gone I will go AI. Have fun.:D

[Gregstrom]

Best of luck with the emergency, Bwaha, and thanks for a good game.

Is someone going to be taking over from you as admin, or will you still be looking in on the game regularly?

[Starshine_Monarch]

Does anyone know what happened to C'tis? It seems like we're always waiting on his turn, just to have him end up staling. If he's not gonna play, he should at least let the rest of us get on with the game.

[Tifone]

Ok, let's organize things a bit or this game dies.

I got the password (dunno if just me or Bwaha sent it to everybody) but I don't have time to admin so someone wants?

Also on C'tis. Has staled 6 times. Do we turn him AI? I can do that if you want (I know much of his territory) or we can ask someone else. Or we go in search of a sub? He's in a good position on scoreboards IIRC so it's playable I think.

On R'lyeh too. Dunno if Bwaha has set himself AI or not, the server is still waiting for his turn but might as well be the "Game Over" turn. We search for a sub? We turn him AI too? We wait to see if the next turn the game automatically turns him AI?

Ideas? Quickly plz :)

[Starshine_Monarch]

If you don't have time to admin, I'll do it.

Bwaha already said he would go AI, but as for C'tis, if we think the position is still playable, I suggest finding a sub or else someone might be tempted to just gobble him up. Even if C'tis was having some emergency, he should have told us so we could have gotten one earlier. If the game automatically turns him AI, then that's just how it is, I guess.

[Tifone]

Great, I'm sending you the pass Starshine.

I suggest you to delay 24hrs to give us the time to find a sub.

I'll post the request immediately ;)

I'd also ask for someone to turn Bwaha AI (as the server is waiting for his new turn too). It will take him 5 minutes.

[Ylvali]

I doubt anyone wants to take over after 6 stales. Of course, since the winning condition in this game is thematic humor actual your position dont really affect your chance to win.

[Tifone]

Look at the graphs. He's in a totally decent position compared to the others ;)

[Tifone]

R'lyeh being switched by WingedDog in this moment, I am very thankful to him (and BesucherXia who also offered himself). :)

[Tifone]

The C'tis-veteran from the Kingmaker game Digress volunteered to take the lead of C'tis!! ;) I welcome him and hope he will be able to post some good humour too :D

[Starshine_Monarch]

Am I to assume you've already changed the E-mail and resent his turn?

[Tifone]

In this moment :D Sorry if you wanted the honour but we were in a hurry and having Bwaha sent me the pass I felt the duty to assist the transition :) The game is now fully in your hands, don't disappoint us!!!!!!!!! ;)

[Starshine_Monarch]

That's okay, I just wanted to make sure it's happened so I didn't do it again unnecessarily.

[Tifone]

Yep. I still hadn't received Digress' confirmation though.

[Starshine_Monarch]

Well, I checked the staling data and it looks like Digress sent in that last turn, so it looks like we're all good now.

Now everybody get back to being funny. On the double!

[Ylvali]

I need a very slight delay if you are ok with that. Just until sunday afternoon. I can´t make it home in time tonight.

[Tifone]

Starshine is offline, I can do it but don't say this to him, he might become jealous :D

[Tifone]

Done, it's now on Sunday at 19 GMT. Ssshhh!! ;)

[Starshine_Monarch]

Crap, sorry about that. I really need to check in here more than once a day...

[Tifone]

...You guys still alive, ya? :smirk:

[Ylvali]

Are you asking Ermor?

[Tifone]

Lol, I admit the bad choice of words :D

[Digress]

We C'tissians have an itch that just refuses to clear up by itself. Ummm ... and are we at war with anyone ?

Anyway back to rolling around in a pile of cash only a large number of stale turns, apparent peace and tip top scales can buy. Wheeee ... wheeee ... anyone want to sell us anything ? You know for the holiday season ...

[Mithras]

Ermor is willing to sell a minority share in McFlavius... And to dispel any myths our share prices are not falling, and even if they were it has nothing to do with bad business decisions around the merger with Ry'leh or hostile actions by Atlantis... Buy Ermorian goods, because we are the best!(and we have a huge trade defecit to clear up but you don't know that ;))

[Mithras]

Hmm. What are you offering here? I may be interested.

two death gems for a 1% share in Macflavius... a majority share (51%) means you can make excutive decisions... we will accept a maximum of 98 death gems total through these transactions :D

[Gregstrom]

I'd expect a substantial annual dividend and a seat on the board of directors if I made a substantial investment.

[Starshine_Monarch]

What a time for Bwaha to drop, just so he could avoid me threatening him into telling me how his Void Gate works. I think he may have a defective model.

After capturing the Void Gate, my Seers have tried for months to goad something into coming out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO3uHdYTYiU), only to have their supervisor dragged through the gate by an invisible force after fighting back a tide of semi-sentient ichor of a color that defies description. We're not sure where he is now, or even if he's still alive. However, if you happen to spot a little old man in blue robes screaming, twitching and defecating uncontrollably, please do him a favor and put him out him out of his misery.

[Tifone]

Yay, we've seen your old man around. We tried hard to put him out of his misery as you requested, with a very funny manhunt which lasted some days, but he finally disappeared once again in time and space. :(

He did, however, give us some childish drawing he made, for it to be delivered to you. Here it is.

Seems some kind of advice to you, not to play with higher stellar forces you can't fully comprehend, but simply it just says:

http://imgboot.com/images/Tifone/dont7uckwithcthulhu.jpg

[Ylvali]

One of our rishis, Amaropama, almost reached nirvana, but immediatly came back to earth complaining some annoying little human in blue robes was occupying the path to enlightment. Obviousvly the despiccable little baldy had been singing a rude song about some giant octopus while making obscene gestures, breaking the rishis concentration.

From this day Amoropama meditates with a markata dressed in blue robes imitating the blue robed man in front of him to prepare him for this ultimate trial. Many rishis have followed his example, and a new cult is being formed around this practice.

The markatas employed to wear the blue robes have taken on the custom to wear the robes all the time, forming a cult of their own, and are beginning to be feared and awed among their brethren. They are now leading groups of crazed markata in battle against the spider people, marching forward in the most obscene manner, screaming out their chant of the giant dirty octopussy that will swallow their enemies.

[Gregstrom]

What do you do when you see a little blue human in front of you?

Stop and cheer him up, of course!

:D

[Bwaha]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To my liberal friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all;”

PLUS

“a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wisher.” (Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

To my conservative friends: Merry Christmas and have a happy new year.:D

[Tifone]

Thanks for your liberal one I apply to!! :happy: Best wishes to you too my friend!

[Ylvali]

Thats wonderful bwaha! And now I´m stealing it if thats ok with you.

Oh, and merry whatever to you too!

[GrudgeBringer]

Yep.....What HE said goes to all MY Liberal friends also!!!

I also am going to have to steal this and sent to my ULTRA Conservative Girlfriend. I am going to do this she can at least TRY and wish her sometimes Moderate, sometime Liberal, and sometimes CRAZY friends a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year also.

And to you my friend...Have a Joyful and Merry Christmas and a Profitable/Safe/and Happy New Year!!

[Bwaha]

Take it and enjoy the laughs. I heard it on the radio and damn near fell off my bar stool laughing. Its much better spoken...:D

[Tifone]

The pace is good but we're having no more humour :cry:

[Bwaha]

This might help...http://www.funnymos.com/to-the-rescue.html
:D

[Mithras]

Well that bodes well for the next person to post a funny comment...
Today a large parcel apeared outside the gates of Ermor. It was marked brakable and the arrow marked "This side up" was pointing towards the ground. After signing for it the mages of Ermor excitedly unwarped then and there... it was there new god, well at least it was supposed to be, it looked more like a huge ornamental fountain to them. After turning it the right way up they tried a bit of light praying to see what the thing could do...
George now inhabits one of the less well looked after courtyards in the Ermorian citidel. The ping pong trick seems to amuse the pidgeons, at least they've showered George with something...

Note to future gods: The old 'water to wine' slight doesn't work when half your worshipers are undead and the other half are old men who've spent most of their life being celbrate and tetotle in your name.

[Bwaha]

http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/fncjmyv.jpg (http://imgboot.com/)

:D

[Mithras]

Very apt for me, both in game and out!

[Tifone]

The old 'water to wine' slight doesn't work when half your worshipers are undead...

Whaaat?? Undeads are abstemious??
Damn. I don't want eternal life no more. :doh:

[Mithras]

Maybe its just our undead... As I said the other half of the population consists of teetotle old men... so who knows.

Ermor will make no statement about the joys of the undead in Machaka, we don't want a mass exudus of the vital nearly dead.

[Tifone]

I'm giving the game a 12 hrs delay. Llamaserver's having his problems again and C'tis didn't send his turn yet.

[Tifone]

Digress, are you alive? :D (I suppose he is, his last connection was today says his public profile, and ghosts don't partecipate forums... or do they? :shock:)

I'll delay of 12 more hours.

[Starshine_Monarch]

Digress always seems to send his turn in at like the very last minute. I've checked his staling data and since Ctis changed hands, he hasn't staled once.

[Tifone]

He would have staled 12 hours ago if I didn't delay ;) But no problem... I just hope he's continuing to play :)

Anyway, as soon as he sends his orders in, the turn will be processed anyway so there aren't big problems in delaying.

[Mithras]

After hearing the news of the unexpected attack by the pink legions of Tien Chi Flavius' (of McFlaviuses) first reaction was to attempt suicide by consuming a whole Vestal Virgin Butrger :O, unfortunately it merely drove him insane, so this is the message the the Emporer and god of the pink legions:
Finaly someone we can actually fight!

Meanwhile workers have been quickly dispatched to clear up Goerges courtyard... our mages have decided we might actually need it after all, if nothing else its a place to drink from in the event of a seige...

[Bwaha]

This is ot but funny.

The August 2000 fire at the Los Alamos Laboratory had one significant consequence. A secret scientific document, discovered in a bunker whose security systems were mostly destroyed by the fire, was leaked to the public last weekend. Actually it reveals nothing that we didn't already suspect. But it does show that the government has known all along that, besides arsenic, lead, mercury, radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely deadly and pervasive element also exists. This startling new discovery -- the heaviest element now known to science -- has been tentatively named GOVERNMENTIUM (Gv).

Conspiracy theorists speculate that Governmentium has been in existence since the time of the Manhattan Project or even the Philadelphia Experiment, and kept top-secret by the CIA. Perhaps its existence accounts for the explosive growth of bureaucracy over the last half-century. This astonishing element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 35 deputy neutrons, 80 vice neutrons, 145 supervisory neutrons, 165 team leader neutrons and 225 consulting neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 666.

These 666 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called "MORONS", themselves surrounded by vast and undeterminable quantities of lepton-like particles called PEONS. Since it has no electrons, Governmentium is INERT. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a miniscule amount of Governmentium causes a reaction which would normally take less than a second over four days to complete. Unlike all other known elements, Governmentium does not decay measured according to its half-life, but instead undergoes continuous reorganization in which assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and vice neutrons exchange places, causing a sample mass of Governmentium to actually INCREASE over time since with each reorganization some of the PEONS inevitably become MORONS, and, finally, neutrons, thereby forming entirely new isotopes. This characteristic of PEON-MORON promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever MORONS anywhere reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "CRITICAL MORASS."

Governmentium has been found to concentrate in certain key locations such as governments, large corporations, and especially in universities. It can usually be found polluting the best appointed and best maintained buildings. Scientists warn that Governmentium is known to be toxic and recommend plenty of alcoholic fluids followed by bed rest after even low levels of exposure.


:D

[Tifone]

Lol, guys, looks like I've taken an excessively strong Misf and Death scale :(

Not in-game, but in RL. 'Cuz my PC is dead. :cry:
I now only have an old pc which can barely handle the mid-game battles and takes one minute at best from one spell to the other in late-game battles. Ouch. Can't really play this way for long.
Well I'll play some more turns but if the situation explodes I'll no longer able to partecipate :o Not that I was expecting to win anyway :p
Just wanted to tell ya. See u ingame guys :D