Quote:
Originally Posted by revenant2
Look here, Serpent-man -- or whatever it is you ungodly communists worship these days. You can't declare war on us because we already declared war on for assisting our hated enemy, Mictlan, with a cowardly and vicious attack against my homeland.
How could you let Mictlan use your lands to attack us? Have you seen what those savages do to their own territory. Our cows live better than they do.
We were going to make the declaration public knowledge, but all of our scribes have been too busy writing the last wills of our senators and we have yet to discover the secret of the printing press, but it was coming.
Know this: The power of my people is mighty and we have many sorcerers and elephants that will crush you and Mictlan's heads like a pair of rotten, ugly tomatoes. Admittedly, we had some tactical concerns about fielding elephants against your people since they are nearly indistinguishable from your womenfolk, but then we discovered that our elephants aren't quite as hairy and have shorter tusks.
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The Democratic and Peace-Loving People's Republic of Pythium send Greetings and Felicitations to the imbecile named I am the Walrus.
You are quite correct that you declared war on Pythium before we declared war on you. Your hastliy scribbled note was mis-filed as it was thought be an order for beef chow mein and a double helping of fried seaweed.
So, once again, the Peoples of Pythium are clearly the victims of an unprovoked agression. Twice before this has happened to us. Ask the ghosts of Abysia and Gath whether they profited from such adventure.
And we did not allow the small probing army from Mictlan to pass through our lands. We were invaded and violated by them. Had they asked, however, we would have been more than pleased to allow them to pass and wished them well on their way.
It is no surprise that you have not yet invented the printing press. We were amazed to discover that the sub-human species of Arcoscephale could even read and write. Hitherto, we thought that grunting and pointing was the limit of Arcoscephalean communication.
It also comes as no surprise that your troops have difficulty telling the difference between a woman and an elephant. I hear they have the same problem distinguishing between a woman and a sheep in your own provinces. At least, most of your sheep get nervous when there are Arcoscephalean troops stationed in the vicinity.
Best regards,
Shahr, Assistant General Secreatry, Central Committee