Go for it. It'll definitely make things harder, but the game is short anyway. Considering that you slowed the star drives down quite a bit, I think having no escape option will make people a lot less likely to take risks - you don't want to lose a bunch of days, get creamed, and have to limp home in tatters. It won't really change the tone of the game, but rather it'll further emphasize the existing tone and strategy of the game.
In answer to your specific questions:
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1) Would you honor my intentions by not ever hitting the "R" key in combat?
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Yes. The interface is so visual, anyway, that I tend to forget keyboard shortcuts are even an option. Even if I did remember the R key, if the mod designer asked me to play as if it weren't available, I'd be willing to do so.
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2) Would the interface's graphical shortcomings annoy you?
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I doubt it. Basically, there'd just be a black gap where the "retreat all" button would normally be? Given the dark background, that's probably not going to be very noticeable.
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3) Do you think getting rid of instant retreat is a good idea?
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It makes things harder, and will make players more cautious. As long as that's your goal, it sounds good.