Sorry, I'm a bit busy these days, otherwise I would have replied earlier ...
At first, come to
http://www.spaceempires.net/forums.html to discuss SE4 or SE5 ... this forum here is mostly dead, as it is only kept for "historical reasons", as Shrapnel does not have anything to do with the Space Empires series any more.
That said ...
... go, get yourself SE5.
Download Kwoks Balance Mod.
Read how to set up an AI-friendly game.
Be happy.
With Kwoks Balance Mod (always get yourself the latest version!!), the game is rather balanced (no only between players, but much more so "in itself", between different techs and tech levels etc.).
And the AI is on of the best (if not the best) that I know of!!