.com.unity Forums
  The Official e-Store of Shrapnel Games

This Month's Specials

Bronze- Save $9.00
winSPMBT: Main Battle Tank- Save $5.00

   







Go Back   .com.unity Forums > Shrapnel Community > Space Empires: IV & V

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #971  
Old March 17th, 2005, 03:49 PM
Strategia_In_Ultima's Avatar

Strategia_In_Ultima Strategia_In_Ultima is offline
Major General
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In your mind.
Posts: 2,241
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Strategia_In_Ultima is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Erm yes..... that's the point of the joke. They push you into the sea because you look like a stranded whale.

How do you know you're EVEN fatter?

If the US launches airstrikes against you to prevent you from standing up, falling over and causing the entire Atlantic to gush over the US and into the Pacific. (if you're in Europe)
__________________
O'Neill: I have something I want to confess you. The name's not Kirk. It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker.
-Stargate SG1
Reply With Quote
  #972  
Old March 17th, 2005, 03:57 PM
Fyron's Avatar

Fyron Fyron is offline
Shrapnel Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Southern CA, USA
Posts: 18,394
Thanks: 0
Thanked 12 Times in 10 Posts
Fyron is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Why has this thread devolved to fat jokes? What's next, yo' momma jokes? Wardad, save us all!
__________________
It's not whether you win or lose that counts: it's how much pain you inflict along the way.
--- SpaceEmpires.net --- RSS --- SEnet ModWorks --- SEIV Modding 101 Tutorial
--- Join us in the #SpaceEmpires IRC channel on the Freenode IRC network.
--- Due to restrictively low sig limits, you must visit this link to view the rest of my signature.
Reply With Quote
  #973  
Old March 17th, 2005, 05:24 PM

Smolf Smolf is offline
Corporal
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posts: 71
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Smolf is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Quote:
Joint_Chief_SI_Ultima said:
Erm yes..... that's the point of the joke. They push you into the sea because you look like a stranded whale.
I know that's the point... I was just adding a comment to it
Reply With Quote
  #974  
Old March 17th, 2005, 08:26 PM
Puke's Avatar

Puke Puke is offline
Lieutenant General
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: california
Posts: 2,961
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Puke is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

Quote:
Randallw said:
Quote:

Thinnest Books in the World:

A Guide To Australian Etiquette

and I bet you don't know we make some quite exquisite wines, you B!%^&#D.
Hey, the Austria-Hungarian empire was well on the way to establishing a lasting Middle Eastern peace, before the Russians decided to step in on behalf of Serbia.

Archduke Ferdinand was truely a great diplomat.

I have not been reading this thread, so this one may have been spent already:

A captain walks into a bar, with a ships wheel hanging from his belt. Barkeep says, "Hey man, did you know you have a ship's wheel about your waist?!"

The captain answers: "Aye, and its driving me nuts!"
__________________
...the green, sticky spawn of the stars
(with apologies to H.P.L.)
Reply With Quote
  #975  
Old March 18th, 2005, 12:21 PM
Alneyan's Avatar

Alneyan Alneyan is offline
General
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,603
Thanks: 0
Thanked 22 Times in 22 Posts
Alneyan is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

They were speaking of Australia however, and not Austria. It is so confusing to have so similar countries; truly, Australians could have chosen a better name when they built their island in the Pacific.

Alneyan, French *and* non-smoking *and* virgin. Honest!
Reply With Quote
  #976  
Old March 18th, 2005, 04:14 PM
Gandalph's Avatar

Gandalph Gandalph is offline
Captain
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Posts: 947
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Gandalph is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

Just got this one in an email from a friend, thought it woulld be worth a post.

Wrong Email
It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a deadfaint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

PS. Sure is hot down here
__________________
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Reply With Quote
  #977  
Old March 18th, 2005, 04:42 PM
Puke's Avatar

Puke Puke is offline
Lieutenant General
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: california
Posts: 2,961
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Puke is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

Quote:
Alneyan said:
They were speaking of Australia however, and not Austria.
oh, i misread then. verily, australians have no etequitte. and americans cant spell. dont smoke, eh? i supose that next you will tell me you have no fondness for Jerry Lewis.

*ahem*

A man walks into the doctors office, proclaiming "doctor! doctor! you must help me! i have five penises!"

The doctor looks astonished and asks, "my god, man! how do your pants fit?"

Man answers: "Like a glove!"
__________________
...the green, sticky spawn of the stars
(with apologies to H.P.L.)
Reply With Quote
  #978  
Old March 18th, 2005, 05:18 PM

rdouglass rdouglass is offline
Major
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Biddeford, ME, USA
Posts: 1,007
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
rdouglass is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I have used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started to become a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out by using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of Liquid Tide With Bleach Alternative. To my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives came by yesterday and told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative. Then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. It was quite a relief!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go.

I have to write a letter to the Hefty Bag people too!

Signed,

A Relieved Menopausal Wife
Reply With Quote
  #979  
Old March 19th, 2005, 11:24 PM
Puke's Avatar

Puke Puke is offline
Lieutenant General
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: california
Posts: 2,961
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Puke is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

A young monk goes to his zen master and asks:

"Teacher, what is your favorite kind of ice cream?"

the master answers:

"Koan."



__________________
...the green, sticky spawn of the stars
(with apologies to H.P.L.)
Reply With Quote
  #980  
Old March 19th, 2005, 11:26 PM
TerranC's Avatar

TerranC TerranC is offline
Brigadier General
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,859
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
TerranC is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE

Quote:
Puke said:
A young monk goes to his zen master and asks:

"Teacher, what is your favorite kind of ice cream?"

the master answers:

"Koan."
Me no gets joke.
__________________
A* E* Se++ GdQ $ Fr! C Csc Sf+ Ai- M Mp* S++ Ss- R! Pw Fq Nd Rp+ G++ Mm+ Bb++ Tcp+ L Au

Download Sev Today! --- Download BOB and SOCk today too! --- Thanks to Fyron and Trooper for hosting.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:40 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©1999 - 2024, Shrapnel Games, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.