Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

Growltigger · #1 July 2nd, 2003, 02:32 PM

The camera pans up a windy road, just past a deserted barn and down a gravel path into a rather nice green valley with a lake.

A large starship descends through the clouds, a voice can heard saying "Mr Power Man, controlled Phaser bLasts for excavating if your please", actinic lights shoots down and a carater is excavated. The starship descends into the crater and a shimmering field surrounds the ship. The image changes...

The neon lights above a large timber framed building (built in a Bavarian style) are switched on..... "Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller" flashes on and off in the summer sky...

The doors are flung open by a large feline wearing a dinner jacket and black tie... He is surrounded by some rather lovely young ladies, all wearing hot pants and crossed bandoliers (and not much else). Some of them are in classic Bavarian serving wench outfits...

"hmmmmm" says the great kat, "swanning off round the galaxy is all well and good, but sometimes, you just need that old cantina experience"....

A large T-Rex, also DJ clad, ambles up to the parking lot, ready to abuse customers and crap in their vehicles....

"Let the party begin, the first 10 customers get free booze"

[ July 02, 2003, 13:44: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ]

primitive · #2 July 2nd, 2003, 03:13 PM

The Primitive one, taking a rest from the endless slaughters on the hill (KOTH), wanders the dessert seeking a place of silence for his meditations. The time had come to seek the answers to some of the eternal questions confronting mankind:

Does God exist ?
What are the meaning of life ?
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Are those real ?

Finding a perfect place of solitude, the Primitive one sits down in Lotus position, smokes the holy weed and opens his mind to the void.

Free beer – free beer – free beer – free beer – free beer

Satisfied with the answer, Primitive finds his rusty (yet pointy) spear and hikes to the new cantina. Good to be back Tigga

Growltigger · #3 July 2nd, 2003, 03:57 PM

Good to see you Primitive, please put that rusty (yet pointy) spear down and have a large vat of top quality super string lager with some spicy tribble wings to boot...

All on the house...

And please meet our new FBW's, in addition to all the clones we have here, we have managed to employ Cindy Crawford, Famke Jannsen, Halle Berry and quite a few other top totty as FBWs

Take your pick

Erax · #4 July 2nd, 2003, 06:10 PM

Chief Engineer Erax comes up the turbolift.
Sees the Phong's Head has become a cantina again.
Goes back down the stairs (turbolift gone).
Erax comes back in his usual clothes, finds himself a table, and remembers some wise words :

"I was driven to drink because of a woman. And I never got the chance to thank her."

[ July 02, 2003, 17:11: Message edited by: Erax ]

primitive · #5 July 2nd, 2003, 06:34 PM

Thanks Tigga, I think I try my luck with Halle Berry. Then I can at least get the answer to the 4th question

Congrats on your face lift, Mucho macho.

Growltigger · #6 July 2nd, 2003, 07:17 PM

free beer for your Erax too.. why dont you brag the Gisella Bundchen FBW and see what you can get up to in the turbolift....

Just dont break the thing, its bearings are a little shaky...

Damn, being the captain of a galactic battleship is fine, but nothing beats running a boozer, hey, we even now have a dartboard and a pool table and a bar billiards table!!

sachmo · #7 July 2nd, 2003, 08:17 PM

Word.

Raging Deadstar · #8 July 2nd, 2003, 08:25 PM

*Above the cantina a black spaceship with purple decoration and glowing engines slowly decends into the parking lot. The docking platforms slowly roll out and secure the ship in place and the crew pour out. One particular traveller steps out. Dressed in black bondage jeans and a trenchcoat with a Talena Atfield clone on one arm and an Otep Shamaya clone on the other, he orders the crew to deliver a note to barry. The disorganised rabble step over and greet the gigantic t-rex, who with his spindly arms reads the note and proceeds to tuck a serviette into his t-rex sized tuxedo and covers them in a nice chinese sauce before worlfing them down, followed by a large burp!*

"Thats for losing me so many ships in the Bar Trek Thread!"

*RD walks in and admires the new cantina's decor. A massive oak, polished bar with gold metal accessories lies to the left with every kind of liqour behind it. To the right lies the stairs to the "executive suite", the inner sanctum with everything inside decorated with gold trim and the previous brig, that is now converted into a medievil dungeon for Those who defy GT's supreme rule! Raging Deadstar quickly cuts off the darkest corner and puts some silk purple curtains around, leaving a narrow opening into his sanctuary. An apple juicer, some UV lights, a few thrash and death metal band posters, a large purple sofa, a large surround sound system and of course a 3d holographic computer to play his latest turns on seiv.*

"Ahhh Sanctuary!

Glad to see Primitive back with us! I aquired a bit of a resource excess after Growltigger destroyed a lot of my toys in the bar trek thread, so the first months tab is on me!

*Raging Deadstar relaxes happily as he falls into a philosophical disscussion with the two attractive clones he arrived with and sips his apple juice, could this be bliss?*

"Glad to have the old place back GT!

"

Rollo · #9 July 2nd, 2003, 08:29 PM

Rollo the Fearsome was bored on top of the hill. He went on a little plunder and pillage spree and left business to his lackeys.

Ooh... "Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller" flashes on and off in the summer sky...

The Norse King quickly swings his old plunder ecsort around and lands in the parking lot. "Hey Barry. Long time no see. And don't you dare..." Rollo flashes his axe.

Woohoo, free booze. Oh, and Famke Jansen, come here and sit on my lap.

Ah, it's good to be back..

Rollo

[ July 02, 2003, 19:31: Message edited by: Rollo ]

Timstone · #10 July 2nd, 2003, 10:14 PM

Everyone in The Cantina is relaxing and is drinking a nice cup of tea (hey, it's teatime). When suddenly the whole of The Cantina is engulved in a bright flash of light. The people close to the flash are temporarily blinded by it (it'll take them about one day to recover completely). When the light has died out the patrons (the ones who have active eye vision) can see a strange distorsion hanging in midair. Sometime a bolts of electricity escapes from the wirlpool and wreaks havoc on the nearest table or metal ting. As the hole subsides somewhat, RD and The Cat immediately recognise the phenomena as a rip in the space-time continium. The first action that comes to their mind is... DUCK!!! As they dive for savety under the sturdy tables in The Cantina, the rip gives birth to... Timstone and his wacky Time Travelling Gearbox (TTG for the connoisseurs). As Timstone and his TTG emerge from the disruption a loud bang, a huge shockwave and a small firestorm follows the genius, incinerating everyone who isn't shelterd of protected by someone (something) else.
"Yehaa, another Cantina!! Another holy place, a place of power, a place to relax!"
He parks his TTG on one of the tables close to his exitpoint from space and time. As he sets foot in The Cantina he reaches out and gracefully helps his beloved GF on the ground, then he kneels and kisses the ground, the blessed soil, the very foundation of The Cantina.
"Home... at Last!"
He immediately walks over to RD and The Cat, greets them properly and introduces them to his GF. When Timstone and his GF want to take place at the same table as RD, they see two small piles of goo.
"Grose, what the heck was that?!"
RD stares at Timstone and his GF with a bit of anger.
"Those were my clones of two very beautiful women!"
"Well, clone them again. Now give me something to drink, it's been too long since we had a drink together."