Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.

Atrocities · #1 May 24th, 2004, 07:33 AM

In the spirate of the "If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" lets develop our own Evil Ruler Hand book.

1. - If your most feared enemy comes alone to your home world and wants to fight you to the death, simply order your ships to destroy his.

2. - If your enemies leave you a huge horse as a war trophy after having appearant beaten them, destroy it where it stands. Do not take it back to your home world!

3. - Glassing a planet is the cheap alternative to landing troops.

4. - When they say they come in peace, don't believe them.

5. - If they run during combat, chase them down and destroy them.

6. - NEVER trust your ministers to rule your empire better than you.

7. - Mine fields are a great for protecting planets early in your empires history.

8. - When choosing racial traits for your empire, choose wisely.

9. - When your ally sends a bunch of lone ship into your Home system, and parks it near your sun, DESTROY IT IMMEDATELY!

10. - If your ally has what you want, declare war upon him and take it by force.

11. - When encountering a new race, first destroy his ship, then offer him a treaty. This is called Gun Boat diplomacy.

12. - Encourage your enemies to colonize within your space. Then land troops on thier planets and collect your new slaves.

[ May 24, 2004, 06:39: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

Joachim · #2 May 24th, 2004, 08:51 AM

13. - A partnership treaty gives you excellent intelligence with which to plan an attack - and you can even re-supply your fleet with their food and fuel first.

Edit: Overlords must have secretaries to check their spelling!

[ May 24, 2004, 09:01: Message edited by: Joachim ]

Aiken · #3 May 24th, 2004, 09:11 AM

14. Start your career from chosing name for yourself and your empire: Malevolent Tyrant of Hatred Stars is not the best name for treacherous villian like you. Philanthropic Patron of Enlightened Democracy is much better.

Edit: missed the baker's dozen

[ May 24, 2004, 08:13: Message edited by: aiken ]

Aiken · #4 May 24th, 2004, 09:21 AM

15. Dark obscure nebulas are friends of Evil Ruler. Find those of them which lies near your rival's Homoworlds, and then send space yard ship there. When you'll be in the position to conquer the galaxy your ships won't need to bypass border defences and could tear up the heart of enemy empire quickly.

[ May 24, 2004, 08:22: Message edited by: aiken ]

General Woundwort · #5 May 24th, 2004, 09:47 AM

16. Never play in a PBW game with anyone else who Posts on this thead.

Aiken · #6 May 24th, 2004, 10:50 AM

17. If you and your long time ally are stand together against powerful enemy, make your friend a proposal to take over his fleets in order to use the combined forces against your common foe. As soon as you get all the ships - invade your ally's space with his own ships and capture his planets. Such a credulous ruler like him has no right to existence.

minipol · #7 May 24th, 2004, 12:20 PM

>>3. - Glassing a planet is the cheap alternative >>to landing troops.
Glass the planet with Napalm. Burning aliens make funny noises

kalthalior · #8 May 24th, 2004, 02:02 PM

18. Never forget to extensively mine alien race's homeworlds and colonies (especially the ones with shipyards) while under treaty BEFORE you enslave them. It is only for your future slave's protection -- think of the children/nestlings/whatever!

Arkcon · #9 May 24th, 2004, 02:05 PM

19. Teach your people to be accustomed to getting by with less. Sauvvy politics is for losers. Likewise radioactives and organics.

[ May 24, 2004, 13:05: Message edited by: Arkcon ]

Alneyan · #10 May 24th, 2004, 03:46 PM

20: If I do need to ensure the safety of a given ship, I will make sure this give has several backups components. Therefore, a Star Destroyer will not have a single Self Destruct Device, but at least five of them to prevent the ship from falling in enemy hands.

21: Likewise, such a decision will to lessen the odds for the crew to disable the said devices, if they would rather surrender than die in the explosion resulting from the self-destruction.

22: If a trade partner has something of value for me, I will not declare war to get this thing. Instead, I will trade for it (by exchanging ships) and will afterwards destroy the ship I have just gifted to this partner. Therefore, I will get this technology to help my Empire in the war to come, without having to grant anything in exchange. (The meanest players may very well build a decoy ship instead, but I wouldn't advice doing so)

23: Contrary to the general belief among Evil Overlords, allies do have their use, as they will do the dirty work on my behalf. Building up distrust between my allies, or any other alliance, does work for the daring Overlord , as long as I make sure nobody fathoms my schemes.

24: Likewise, it is advised to make common cause with weaker Empires than my own, since stronger allies may very well have high demands and will do their best to keep my Empire in check. On the other hand, such an alliance would be a boon for a weak Empire, thus allowing me to exploit them in every possible way. I will remember to limit their own expansion however, as they might be too willing to turn their backs on me at the earliest opportunity.

25: As many of my colleagues have forgotten (even if only their graves are now a testimony of their mistake ; when a grave remains to tell about their rule), I will establish rules on the numbers of children a family is allowed to have on every single world. As soon as the population nears fifty million inhabitants, I will forbid all procreation, for otherwise I would not be able to evacuate this planet at once if an enemy was threatening it.

26: If I intend to capture an enemy world myself, I will make sure to glass a few other planets belonging to the same Empire. Indeed, my new thralls are eager to revolt, and so I need to convince them that their fate is much more enviable than the one of their brothers and sisters. Killing most of them would be the perfect remedy to put these thralls to good work, without having to fear riots or uprisings.

27: Nobility is not to be mixed with politics, and so I will not let emotion pervert wisdom. Therefore, if I have an asset at my disposal, I will use it even if it is said to be "unbalancing" and other such silliness. Moreover, I will not give my ships an inherent weakness to give my opponents the slightest chance of winning.

28: However, it doesn't excluse allowing the defeated Empires to live in peace once they have decided to surrender to my might. In fact, I must crush any leader daring to oppose my righteous rule, but I must also help him to get up once he has fallen to his kness. It will give me a better reputation, as my neighbours will realize I am to be trusted. At least, until I have the strength to destroy them all, and this time there will be no surrender, cease-fire or any kind of treaty. (It is to be noted that I will want to weaken an Empire willing to sue for peace before giving my assent to his request ; after all, he is likely to oppose me in the future, and I do not need to let him remain a threat)