Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff appears in the grey featureless void between realities. In this neutral place his sanity returns, and as it does so his magical powers dwindle. He must act quickly before he is trapped here without any power at all.

First he uses some of his remaining magic to create physical laws. Unfortunately he is not yet completely sane, and this is reflected in the cartoon laws he implements.

His next act is to create space and matter. True to the chaotic origin of his magic, everything is inconstant, jumbled and disordered. Random objects, parts of objects, imagination-made-real and clumps of lifeless matter appear out of nowhere, changing and morphing until their inherent chaos gradually succumbs to the monotonous inevitability of physics.

In the midst of this, dogscoff barely has time to organise a little bubble of air to surround and sustain him.

Finally, using the very Last of his powers, he creates a portal from this place to the "old world", the universe which holds the ruins of the old Cantina. It is an unstable and very fragile gateway, but hopefully the Cantina's residents will all make it through, where they can use their own skills and resources to create some kind of world from this disorder.

Spent and powerless, dogscoff floats in his bubble, watching the primordial events of creation unfold...

=======================================

OK people, we've got everything we need to build anything we want. Feel free to drag items through from the "old world" to help set up the new one (a matter gravity sphere would be handy=-), so come on in and let's set things up. Hurry, though, the portal won't Last forever and you don't want to be left out.

We can rename the thread later, once we figure out exactly what it is we've created.

[ June 24, 2003, 08:30: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[David E. Gervais]

A small 12 foot A.C.M.E. moving van pulls up to the new site. I get out of the passenger side of the truck and proceed to scan the joint...

Spotting a long bare back wall near where the kitchen might be installed, I tell the movers to unload my prize.. The sixteen movers carefully carry in a 40 foot long antique Oak Bar. It fits perfectly along the back wall. I hope Taz will like it!

I then move to an outer wall and set up a nice cozy table next to a window. I have the movers unload my second prize... They quickly install the fake rain maker outside the window. Aaaah nice, I like the soothing sound of the fake rain. I sit and wait to see who comes in next!

Cheers!

[ April 16, 2003, 16:10: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*A familliar figure to the residents of the cantina steps through the unstable portal and quickly heads behind a a few planted trees outside the cantina walls, quickly checking down his pants to make sure that stellar instablity hasn't had any adverse side effects *well, it sounds like a typical dogscoff moment* Feeling rather secure knowing his wedding tackle is appropiate order (unlike the time I tried to pass through that unstable wormwhole, you have no idea what the gravity from a black hole can do to you! )Raging Deadstar sends a message through the unstable portal through to "the other side" and quickly checks to see what the laws of physics are in this realm. He rummages around in his pockets and pulls out a large black hole, ok so that works, throws it underneath a rock and watches as it falls through. RD then quickly dodges out the way as a 1 tonne anvil crashes down beside him. Yes, the carton laws are very much in work here! Seeing this he begins to pull at the unstable portal and manages to pull the medium sized Deadstar Continuum transporter through. Inside this Transport is the remaining stock from the old cantina (The regulars will have to come now i stole all the drink Also inside this are a bunch of new bar staff all eager to start work at this new hedonistic home away from home..*

*RD then walks over to the architectural plans for the site, the outer walls have been made and he starts discussing with dogscoff what stuff is for*

So thats the wine and beer store? Too small!
*Furious scribbling and adjustments are made*
We need a Medieval Dungeon!
*yet more furious scribbling*
Whats that large room 0n the second floor?
*Dogscoff explains that that is the king size "executive memebers only" hard-playroom*
I see! *arches eyebrow*
Hmm i see the FBW's have demanded a bigger dressing room!
*Dogscoff yet again explains this was organised by Growltigger, who obviously gave into strenious "Demands" off the FBW's*

*Raging Deadstar then pulls out some large paintings and hangs them on the wall. The Destruction of the first cantina, Artists impresiions of the time Growltiggers testicles expanded to the size of weather ballons (complete with bulging eyes) and the time Geoschmo was attacked by the lucy lui ninja. All classic moments from the past... RD smiles at the happiness (and bruises) this place has given him and proceeds to place some of the old items from the cantina around the new place to sparkle it up. Many hours later he hangs the phongs head that announces the "Door is ajar" every 5 minutes is placed on it's hook and the new Tachyon Projection cannon and Quantum torpedoes are installed at the door.*

*Raging Deadstar smiles evily as nowe, true to character he slynks off towards david Gervais who is creating some graphics like the true artist he is and doesn't notice the brooding Deadstar. One swing of an oversized iron wok later and he is sprawled out unconcious on the cantina floor, with drool hanging out his mouth and a glazed look in his eyes. Raging Deadstar smiles to himself at his victory.*

FIRST BLOOD!!!!!!

*Raging Deadstar happily orders an apple juice and sits down in the darkest corner that is now his sanctuary, happy to know he was the first to commit cartoon violence in the 3rd cantina!*

[Puke]

A torrential flow of vomit rushes through the open portal, and knocks RD out of his chair - spilling his apple juice. With the laws of gravity not yet entirely intact, the large glob of vomit becomes selfcohesive and congeals into a single mass, once the flow finally dribbles to a halt.

a mass rotates on the surface, blinking open to reveal a massive eye that takes in the scene, paying careful scrutiny to Scoff, DG, and RD. The mass of vomit spontaniously attains sentience, and becomes self aware.

Puke is here.

Indescribeable imaginings transpire withing the primordial brain of Puke. A large dome of crystal or glass, which is feared not by Doc Shane (nor by Giordano Bruno), materializes out of the semi-somethingness of this reality, and encloses the cantina and the surrounding grounds. A tarmac appears outside, on which sits a very large egg.

Engines grow on the rear of the structure, so that the Cantina might go wherest it wilt.

[David E. Gervais]

...I don't know how long I have been lying on the floor drooling, but don't care at the moment. I'm too busy trying to control the waves of pain coursing through my body. The source of the pain is one big mother of a goose-egg bump on my cranium. As my eyes slowly come into focus, I notice all seems quiet in the new cantina. I sit back in my chair by the window with the fake rain and the soothong sound of the running water helps to alieviate the pain a little.

I scan the cantina and notice RD in a dark corner,.. Hey RD, have you been here long? Did you see who it was that wasted a perfectly good cast iron pan on my cranium? RD said something while pointing to the door, The ringing in my ears prevented me from catching what he said. From his gesture I assumed that the culpret had left.

I offer RD a drink on my tab and ask if he would be so kind as to point out the culprit the next time he sees him.

I order myself a drink and decide to take a bit of a rest before getting back to my pixels!

...

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar was busy plotting revnge when he notcies David Gervais regain consciencenous. He finishes putting the polished mahogany table in his corner and has placed a large purple and black leather couch in it. He has also removed most lights in the vicinity of this cornor and has installed a couple of UV lights, just to make himself feel at home.*

Sorry David, never saw that culprit but i have a nasty feeling it was ragnarok, i think he ran back through the portal though! *shakes head* Some people! thanks for the drink!

*RD sits back on the couch and scoops up the now floating apple juice, realising that he is now floating in mid air!*

Someone better bring some anti gravity technology with them, i can't relax on my sofa!!

[primitive]

A hulking barbarian enters through the portal, carrying a runecovered rusty (yet pointy) spear in one hand. Following him are two oversized Kylie clones, complete with undersized golden hotpants, carrying flagons containig an assortement of minor toxins, hallucinogenic and aphrodisiacs. The flagons are left at the bar, with instructions to Taz to mix them in the drinks at his own discretion.

He then proceed to a silent corner, where he builds a large fireplace and sets up a large rougly hewn table and a few chairs. Using the rune magic of his rusty (yet pointy) spear, he sets up a magic barrier, securing his little corner from the evils of country music.

Yup, this looks like home.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

40 feet above the roof of the cantina, reality is stretching and...something else few speices even have a name for. something is forming...it looks bright blue...like a small supernove. except, this 'supernova' opens up...revealing a tunnel-like structure stretching away, in a direction that normal physics can't define. and something falls out...sideways. humanoid, in power armor. the figure quikly adjusts it's position to brace for a landing, then begins to slow down. by the time the figure gets to the ground, it is traveling slow enough to make a gentle landing. looking around, the figure takes it's first unhuried survey of the area where it now is. and speaks. "A CHAOTIC, UNFORMED REGION! NOT AGIAN!"

narf heads toward the bar, hoping that someone might be able to tell him something about this newly formed pocket of space. inside, he notices a barbarian and freinds, a newly sentient organic compilation lifeform, an artist who looks like he got hit with something and a sneaky-looking bartender. sitting on a stool, he says "bartender, one part hydrocloric acid, one part suger, one part root beer flavoring. where am i and how did this get here? what's the currency?"

[ooc: i was falling sideways, not positioned sideways. hi. forgot a few of the practicalities. also, my armor is light gray/light blue.]

[ April 16, 2003, 23:07: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar smiles, unless he is the crafty looking bartender said Raging Deadstar has been practically un-noticed. The corner of the room he resides in his now more homely. Hidden off behind dark purple velvet curtains and a large fire now blazes in the enclosed room. A uv light shines from above and he relaxes on his sofa. Feeling the urge to do evil Raging Deadstar walks over to narf and points out that all drinks must be paid fully in ethiopian currency. He smiles to himself nastily as he watches Narf go and invest his minerals into the now waiting currency conVersion machine, which is totally non refundable! He smiles to himself and polishes the null space projector, sips his apple juice and waits for his nemesis, the one they call Ragnarok!*

[ April 17, 2003, 00:21: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

[ooc:so your not the bartender, you just stole the booze?]
realizing that he's been tricked, narf hacks the currency machine with nanotech and drains RD's accounts into his own. then he hacks into the transport bureau and labels rd's transport a derelict and sends some memo's off to some salvage companies, sits back and take's a big swallow.
[ooc: so we now have a bartender who's definitly up to something, and who is not rd.]
his nanobots nuetralize some unkown chemicals in the drink. since there is nothing apparently sinister about them, the suits central computer simply logs them as 'incidentals' and does not notify narf.