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  #101  
Old August 13th, 2002, 08:58 PM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Quote:
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level = 6.9
Flesch Reading Ease = 68.4

huh?
A numerical measure of how easy a piece is to read, see for example Readability Testing {link}

F-K says your story would be understood by someone who reads at the 7th-grade level in the US school system (12-13 years old, generally).
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  #102  
Old August 14th, 2002, 04:02 AM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

"F-K says your story would be understood by someone who reads at the 7th-grade level in the US school system (12-13 years old, generally)."

Oh come on, be honest. 25 and up. No joke. I am being serious. Most Americans can not read at a level beyond the 7th grade. I write reports and such nearly every day. They are all at the 12h grade level and most of our engineers ask for a "simplified" report.

So your work is right on target. Very well written and I love reading it.

Feel free to delete this post when needed.

[ August 14, 2002, 03:03: Message edited by: CNCRaymond ]
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  #103  
Old August 14th, 2002, 09:42 AM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

I have just taken time out to read the whole story again... Sachmo, it is excellent, very creatively written and with just a hint of 'David Weber' I feel in your writing style.. If he can do it, why dont you?

The other thing I realise is that I HATE the words 'TO BE CONTINUED'

grumble, moan, whine, whinge, belch, grumble
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  #104  
Old August 14th, 2002, 04:11 PM

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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Quote:
Originally posted by Growltigga:
I have just taken time out to read the whole story again... Sachmo, it is excellent, very creatively written and with just a hint of 'David Weber' I feel in your writing style.. If he can do it, why dont you?
Funny you should mention that... My book is in the planning stages at the moment, but I finally decided to buckle down and write something. To be honest, a lot of credit goes to this forum and SEIV. If I handn't had so much darn fun writing this story, then I might not have ever attempted writing a book!
As far as the similarities with Weber, don't they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

Quote:
Originally posted by Growltigga:
The other thing I realise is that I HATE the words 'TO BE CONTINUED'

grumble, moan, whine, whinge, belch, grumble
I sorry you feel that way. May I ask why that bothers you? The reason that I put "to be continued" is so that:

a. I commit myself to continuing the story
b. So people know that it isn't over

I would be very interested to see another POV on the subject, though. Thanks!
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  #105  
Old August 14th, 2002, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Ok Sachmo. The Last twenty or so Posts in a row to this thread have NOT been actual story Posts. Every time I see this thread back near the top of the forum I get excited thinking there is a new chapter.

Get back to writing. Don't make us get out the whips.

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  #106  
Old August 14th, 2002, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

[/quote]I sorry you feel that way. May I ask why that bothers you? The reason that I put "to be continued" is so that:

a. I commit myself to continuing the story
b. So people know that it isn't over

I would be very interested to see another POV on the subject, though. Thanks![/QB][/quote]

Sachmo, you are getting too cerebral. The reason I hate the words "TO BE CONTINUED" is the same reason I hate these words when they appear, for example, at the end of a 2 part TV episode.. you are just getting into things, chewing your fingernails, hiding behind the sofa etc cos you know the hero is about to be pounced on by a horrible alien monster (or whatever) and then DUM DUM DUUUUUUMMMMMM.. TO BE CONTINUED pops up on the screen

Nothing cunning I am afraid, I just dont like things to end (except exams, torture, Sacha Distel records, dodgy relationships, illnesses, skimoy clothes on fat birds, flatulence, that toss Manofwar comes up with, Dogscoff and Geo's sense of humour..)
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  #107  
Old August 14th, 2002, 05:21 PM

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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Gotcha, Tigga.
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  #108  
Old August 15th, 2002, 01:59 AM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Please note that I deliberately did not add my opinion of the accuracy of such scales, or the common recommendation that authors aim for sixth grade or lower.
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  #109  
Old August 17th, 2002, 08:56 AM

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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

The Zekrat Campaign Begins

When a ship exited a wormhole and dropped from hyperspace to normal, there was a distinct effect on the human body. The effect wasn’t very easy to describe; sailors claimed that it felt as if your entire body would collapse in on itself, only to just as quickly expand again. The sensation was not unlike what an aluminum can might feel when crushed by a hand, and then instantly expanded into its original form again. Fortunately for the human space travelers, the physical effects were much less dramatic than those on the poor can. In fact, no one had been able to classify any actual physical effects at all. All that the sailor knew was that it hurt, and it was unpleasant.
Rear Admiral Shiro Sakazawa tried to prepare himself for the drop from hyperspace. He glanced at the readout on his display; they were fifteen seconds from transition. His mind screamed a warning, but the admiral was used to this, and so commanded all of the parts of his body that would listen to ignore the warning. Many of his body parts listened, but others did not. His brain would allow his body to experience the sensation. He sweat glands started working to cool his body down. His pulse increased, and his mouth dried out. Before he could glance at the display again, the fleet dropped from hyperspace. Shiro felt his entire mass pressing inward all at once, causing enormous pressure to spread over his entire body. Before his brain could react to these forces, he felt the world expand. While his brain tried to catch up with this stimulus, it was over. His brain was still a few microseconds behind, trying to tell him that he was about to explode. Suddenly, it realized that these strange sensations were over, and started to quiet down. His pulse slowed, his saliva glands began working again. Everything was all right physically.
Not so for the strategic health of the fleet. The long-range scanners of the fleet began working even as the ships dropped into normal space. They had already painted a preliminary picture of this system before the Rear Admiral’s brain had caught up with itself. This was definitely a Rage system, and seemed to in fact be the Rage home system.
This system was identified as Zekrat. The system was lit by a large red star, and held nine planets of various size and composition. The system had a small asteroid field, a medium ion storm, and three wormholes. The east wormhole was the one they had come thru and led to the Fezzran system. The north wormhole led to the Lundra system, and the west wormhole led to destinations unknown. Three of the nine planets were inhabited by the Rage. One, Zekrat VII, lay only two parsecs from the fleet. Five parsecs from Zekrat VII lay Zekrat IX. Orbiting this planet was a Rage Gorgon II light cruiser and a space station. Far on the other side of the system was Zekrat VIII, the Rage homeworld. Since the fleet would need a forward base of operations, Shiro decided that Zekrat VII would have to be taken before anything else. He started planning the attack as the fleet moved toward its target at full speed.
The plan was simple, but so far for the Xillantha Fleet, simple had worked best. There were no Rage ships spotted in orbit around Zekrat VII, and no defenses observed either. The fleet would move into position and destroy any weapons encountered. Once neutralized, the Space Marines would drop and capture this planet. Once the Sequencer on this world was destroyed, someone would take on the persona of a Sequencer and have the population construct a supply base for the fleet. From there, they would either attack Zekrat IX and neutralize that planet’s threat to Fezzran, or move on to the Rage homeworld. First, Zekrat VII had to fall.

The fleet entered the vicinity of Zekrat VII in a wall formation, with RSS Tarus in the lead position. Sensors showed that the planet possessed on small, very outdated weapons platform armed with first generation capital ship missiles. Not much of a threat to the Remorhaz fleet, but they could still kill a ship if not careful. Sakazawa was a careful man by nature.
He opened the com link to all of the ship captains.
“As you can see, the planet does have some defenses. Let’s stay sharp, everyone. If they fire on you, don’t rely on the point defense cannons to protect you; try and open the range. Use your head, and don’t take chances. Ok, let’s take it to them.”
He kept the link passive, so that if any of his captains needed to talk to him they had instant access, but he wouldn’t be constantly watching their every move. He knew from experience that people tended to get nervous when performing in front of their superiors, and if they were nervous they might make a mistake.
Shiro hit a button that opened his link with his staff communications officer, Lieutenant Marc Yemblay.
“Yemblay, I want you to broadcast a message to that planet of our intentions to capture Zekrat VII in the name of the Remorhaz Society. Let’s give them a chance to surrender peacefully.”
Lieutenant Yemblay gave him a quick glance, and then straightened.
“Aye, aye, Admiral. Broadcasting on all frequencies.”
Shiro did not expect the Rage to surrender. He wasn’t even sure if they could while the Sequencer was active, but the act made him feel a little better. Today, some of the Rage people would die. It was inevitable, but it would happen. If he gave them a chance to surrender, possibly it would soften the blow a bit.
They did not surrender. There was no answer to his message, except when they moved to within missile range of the surface weapons platforms. At that point, the Rage fired a salvo of capital ship missiles at RSS Tarus. Before they had a chance to react, the missiles were destroyed by point defense fire.
At this range, Tarus was able to use her guns to destroy the defense bases and any targets deemed to be a threat to the Space Marines.
The Space Marines dropped as soon as RSS Badger was within range. The landing went off without a hitch. The Space Marines quickly captured all of the domed population centers, and got a good lead on the location of the Sequencer. It was noted for intelligence that unlike the other Rage planets taken in the war, on this world the Sequencer was hidden and not housed in an obvious place. The 2nd Space Marine Brigade closed in on the location, and began to destroy the bunker where it was hidden. Suddenly, from out of the ground boiled hundreds of Rage soldiers. One Blazer, along with its platoon of Space Marines, was hit and destroyed before the mad rush of Rage soldiers could be stopped. The Space Marines had taken their first losses to enemy ground action. From the looks of things, this system was going to be a tougher nut to crack than any they had faced before.
A temporary electronic Sequencer was installed, and Sakazawa immediately had the 104 million Rage on Zekrat VII begin constructing a resupply base for the Remorhaz fleet.

2410.6

The colony ship quietly slipped away from her berth at the Fort Justice Ship Yard. Once clear, she fired her maneuvering jets and pointed her nose toward the Fezzran wormhole. For one of the colonists on this colony ship, Tony Harris, this trip represented a promise he made long ago. He had served aboard RSS Falcon when she had jumped into the Fezzran just in time to see the Rage fleet destroy the colony on Cirius, killing his sister and nephew in the process. He had promised himself that when the Remorhaz Society was able to recolonize Cirius, he would be the first to sign up. He knew that there was no way that his sister and her son could possibly be alive, but at least he could honor their memory by finishing what they had started, and to help give the lost colonists the proper burial they deserved.

In the Iolo system, Governor Hadrian Ervay watched in horror as a large Ukra-Tal fleet entered the Iolo system from Wanduk. They had at least a month to decide what course of action to take, but it was clear that if the Ukra-Tal decided to attack Correlia, the Remorhaz fleet would not seriously challenge them. The defenses of the planet were getting stronger, but against nineteen light cruisers and destroyers they would quickly perish. Until they knew what the Ukra-Tal intended, they would continue to construct defenses. Hadrian only hoped that the transport Marne reached Correlia in time to load most of the civilians on board.

Xillantha fleet moved toward Zekrat VIII. The Rage light cruiser abandoned Zekrat IX, and so that planet posed no threat to the Fezzran system. Read Admiral Sakazawa made the decision to attack the Rage home planet, and maybe bring about an end to this phase of the war.
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  #110  
Old August 17th, 2002, 12:04 PM
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Default Re: Rise of the Remorhaz Society

Looking foward to the next chapter. I hope you waste the Rage.
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