Esmerelda
 

I was having a really unlucky run as a Pirate on the small starmap. My one good item was the Black Monolith, and it was stolen from Esmerelda. By that point I was running out of time and patience, so I headed back to glory.

The Black Monolith was on sale at its original price of five coins.

I don't think I like the character of these Terran shopkeepers.

Re: Esmerelda
 

Esmerelda, now that's my kind of Woman!! I'm in love again.

Re: Esmerelda
 

Hi there Little Big Tony,

How are things in Glory? Ok, Ok I don't want a couple of decades' news bulletins, OK? I'm just being polite.

Look I'm transmitting to you for a reason, I need a bit of well, you know, human intimate interaction advice. It's just well...it's a long story.

OK..OK so I'm just a genetically engineered worker drone that was 'modded' up to hunter seeker level by two technical geeks in Weapons Division. Sebastiano Leto did a good job on my physique, strength and longevity but Elrich Van Beyhn was a total loser! I discover that, far from being the cold hearted killing machine desired by the Terran Military Command, I'm actually a lovesick puppy with a (PLATONIC!) weakness for fuzzy lummoxes (if I see a pirahna bee anywhere near my friend Gurbitz I'll just scream!)

So here we are, floating in our tincan. Man, natural born humans stink after a few weeks! Anyway, this hottie sends us a distress signal. I was expecting the usual, bad hair, dark patches under the armpits and fake teeth of most female pilots....however...She's a lummox fan too. I think this is going to be start of a beautiful friendship. I just need to get my breeding modifications sorted, maybe I'l dump that second liver to accommodate the right bits and....Hello romance!

That's about the size of it. Ok? I've never had this reaction from a human female before, what with my manufacture number being imprinted on my forehead and all that. So I'd really appreciate it if you could just drop me a line on how, kinda, sorta, humans do it.

I know it's not dependent on a season or ambient temperature, so if you could let me know. I'm still a bit shy about letting her on board. Most of the crew look like those 20th Century musicians you once told me about when we totalled the Mac Mac chasers: The Grateful Dead?
I think she might be the one...you know?

Write back big man, I'm not the scary killing machine that I may seem.

Best regards

Leto / Van Beyhn 62509

P.S. I found the dinkiest little toy robot that I'll keep for you. I know you love all that 20th Century Olde Earthe junk.