[Growltigga]

I will have to ask you to excuse my more than normal ignorance, but is Loreto Convent an international order of nuns or is it just one school, just down the road from where I work?

Good question that man - I suspect it is an international order of nuns who run convent schools all round the world - there are 2 loreto schools in the manchester environs and Mrs GT went to the nicer one of the two - she certainly didn't go to the Nairobi branch

That Mrs. GT has not only risen from beneath the garage floor

that is what you get if you dont get the sand/cement mix in your concrete just right - I believe Mrs GT (or at least her mother-in-law is) is an example of a new, previously unkonown type of undead which even Buffy couldn't beat up - rising from the grave is no trouble for Mrs GT, she can rise from anything

will a rock hyrax do?

No, semi-arboreal rodentia are not acceptable substitutes for aquatic rodentia - I would suggest you see what can be done with pangolins or aardvaarks

and read about the French Fighter Pilot

Yeh yeh, mate I knew that joke when you were still straining boiled egg from you beard - we call it the joke of Alphonse the Fearless French Fighter Ace - we have another one about Wolfgang the Terrible Teutonic Tank Driver but I wouldn't dare go through that on this forum