[earcaraxe]

since u seem to be unable to let this feeling/experience go, and i am a psychologist and dont want to block my own impulses about that, let me share u some of my perceptions regarding ur behavior. Even before the game, i noticed ur tendency to mix asking for information with self-depreciation. then once, in-game u answered one of my offers twice, within short time: the first one was an indignation, an outcry mixed with threats (an infantile reaction), and the second one which arrived soon after was like the more controlled, polite version of the first, with apologies. This tempts me to think u are aware of people's usual reaction to you when u give in to ur impulses. After that, when TC attacked u, u sent me a message asking "are we at peace?" (all these quotations are paraphrazed). Obviously this isnt the question u wanted to ask (but perphaps "do we have a nap?"), since we didnt fight at the time, that was obvious. And u didnt ask anything other, not a single hard detail about our peace. I have the feeling that (i might very well be wrong here) out of lack of self-appreciation u didnt dare to ask what u were really curious, so u settled for less, and saw what u wanted to saw: "ok, he wont attack me for sure". These observations led to I, writing legowarrior before my attack on u, that i expect a "tirade on the forums" from u after u notice what happened.

Ur following behavior (quitting the game, then threatening to ruin it by not quitting, fabrications about me and legowarrior) is usually called (somewhat inaccurately) an acting-out. I admit i am bordering fantasy here, but ur assumed "i see what i want to see" strategy might have made u coping with ur negative feelings about being attacked by me a lot harder: the disappointment raises insecurity by threatening to invalidate the "others (the world) operate the way i want them to"-mentality.

(to sum up in a nutshell: low self-appreciation --> inhibited behavior --> tension from repressing urges, chasm between observed and wanted reality --> delving into fantasy --> eventual confrontation with consensual reality --> insecurity, lower self appreciation)