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Old November 18th, 2009, 05:01 PM
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Stavis_L Stavis_L is offline
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Default Re: Bretonnia, Knights of the Grail v.0.91

Whoops, was hoping to get this in before your next update. Anyway, here are some typos / changes to awkward wordings. Line numbers are from the 0.90 version, so they may be off by a few vs. 0.91:


Code:
169 - "Sword of an Tyrant" --> "Sword of a Tyrant" or "Tyrant's Sword"
209 - "They've usually given no training" --> "They're usually given no training"
238 - "basic chain armours" --> "basic chain armour" (n.b. most of the vanilla game uses Americanized "armor" spelling)  	
Also - shouldn't description match the actual equipment (ring mail armor?) which is *not* chain?
267 - "fool to trust the line for them" --> "fool to trust the line to them" or "fool to trust them to hold a line"
326 - "by actually surviving few combats" --> "by actually surviving a few combats" 
	AND "Although the word 'Elite Peasant' has the same meaning to Bretonnian Lord as the word 'Large Rat'" --> 
"Although the phrase 'Elite Peasant' has the same meaning to a Bretonnian Lord as the phrase 'Large Rat'"
	AND "more skilled than a regular men-at-arms" --> "more skilled than a regular man-at-arms"
356 - "But, like most successful warlords know" --> "But, as most successful warlords know"
	AND "yeomen to these crucial tasks" --> "yeomen to perform these crucial tasks"
389 - "there really isn't many options" --> "there really aren't many options"
	AND "Knight Errants" --> "Knights Errant"
424 - "eldest son and leaving the younger sons" --> "eldest son, leaving the younger sons"
	AND "there really isn't many options" --> "there really aren't many options"
	AND "Knight Errants" --> "Knights Errant"
454 - "benefit from an decreased unrest" --> "benefit from decreased unrest"
491 - "benefit from an decreased unrest" --> "benefit from decreased unrest"
	AND "some of the fief granted" --> "some of the fiefs granted"
524 - "and ever longer to breed them" --> "and even longer to breed them"
	AND "can be seen far" --> "can be seen from afar" or "can be seen from a great distance"
561 - "something more than man, almost celestial beings" --> "something more than man, almost a celestial being"
	AND "with a force Grail Knights benefit from a higher taxation" --> "with a force of Grail Knights to benefit 
from a higher taxation" or "with a force of Grail Knights to be taxed more heavily"
630 - "Many peasants who wish to see the world outside their home sometimes go into a pilgrimage" --> "Peasants who wish 
to see the world outside their home sometimes go on a pilgrimage" or "Many peasants who wish to see the world outside 
their home go on a pilgrimage"
661 - "But, like most successful warlords know" --> "But, as most successful warlords know"
	AND "yeomen to these crucial tasks" --> "yeomen to perform these crucial tasks"
699 - "eldest son and leaving the younger sons" --> "eldest son, leaving the younger sons"
	AND "there really isn't many options" --> "there really aren't many options"
	AND "sending the most cunning of them to espionage missions" --> "sending the most cunning of them upon espionage 
missions"
729 - "sometimes get anough men to wield the remaining as bowmen" --> "sometimes enlist enough men to field the remainder 
as bowmen"
	AND "They are ride" --> "They ride"
768 - "'Marquis' is a honorary title" --> "'Marquis' is an honorary title"
	AND "Their combat skills and military knowledge is widely respected" --> "Their skill in combat and military 
knowledge is widely respected"
	AND "often have a standing force peasants" --> "often have a standing force of peasants"
	AND "Knight Errants" --> "Knights Errant"
850 - "They feel like that they can't rest" --> "They feel that they can't rest"
	AND "lack the administrating skills" --> "lack the administration skills"
959 - "Damsels have been there" --> "Damsels have been around" or "Damsels have existed" or "Damsels have been present" (this one is grammatical but a bit too informal)
	AND "it is rumoured if they are human at all" --> "it is questioned whether they are human at all" or "it is 
rumoured that they are not even human at all" or just "it is rumoured that they are not even human"
1001 - "you just request, it has to be" --> "you just request; it has to be"
1038 - "Battle Pilgrim considers his" --> "The Battle Pilgrim considers his"
	AND "those who survive few battles are tough" --> "those who survive a few battles are tough"
1107 - "fighting side to side" --> "fighting side by side"
	AND "as an mysterious figure in bretonnian folklore" --> "as a mysterious figure in Bretonnian folklore"
	AND "watch over questing knights and appearing before the best of them" --> "watch over questing knights and 
appears before the best of them"
1153 - "lake, expect when granting" --> "lake, except when granting"
	AND "For long she has waited for the ascension wars" --> "She has long awaited the Ascension Wars"
	AND "on top of an unicorn" --> "on top of a unicorn" or "atop a unicorn" or "astride a unicorn"
1305 - "then a immensely tall" --> "then an immensely tall"
	AND "until was finally granted a sip from a grail by an mysterious" --> "until he was finally granted a sip from the Grail by a mysterious" 
	AND "reached an respectable age" --> "reached a respectable age"
1344 - "For their excellence" --> "Their excellence"
	AND "bretonnian" --> "Bretonnian"
1376 - "lived their use as a breeding stock" --> "lived out their usefulness as breeding stock"
	AND "agressive" -->"aggressive"
1407 - "Beastamsters" --> "Beastmasters"
	AND "living in capture" --> "living in captivity"
	AND "lived through their use as a breeding stock" --> "lived out their usefulness as breeding stock"
1574 - "Knight Errants" --> "Knights Errant"
1608 - "unoptimal" --> "suboptimal"
1641 - "you just request, it has to be earned" --> "you just request; it has to be earned"
	AND "to go to a quest" --> "to go upon a quest" or "to embark upon a quest
1661 - "in this state of hightened awareness, he will appear" --> "in this state of heightened awareness, she will 
appear"
1680 - "anwser" --> "answer"
1741 - "Bastonge" --> "Bastogne"
1782 - "Bastonge" --> "Bastogne"
	AND "strenght" --> "strength"
1823 - "Bastonge" --> "Bastogne"
	AND "he was no fool to do" --> "he was no fool to do so"
	AND "strike with swift and precise" --> "strike swiftly and with precision"
1867 - "abjuration" --> "conjuration" (abjuration renounces or banishes something)
	AND "an mysterious figure" --> "a mysterious figure"
	AND "bretonnian" --> "Bretonnian"
2000 - "like an Phoenix" --> "like a Phoenix"
	AND "Maverni" --> "Marverni"
Hope you get a chance to plug these in; the mod looks great
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