(OT) tips for moving to keep your movers happy.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

i've helped a bunch of people move, and i've got some tips here if your thinking of moving and want to keep your help, hired or friends, happy. hopefully, it'll help you or give you a few laughs.

1: ok, first and most important. liquids. lots of them. especially if it's hot.

2: no extra-large boxes, not to important, but there annoying.

3: measure your large furniture and your doorways first and find out if it'll fit through the doorways, so your movers don't have to stand there holding it and try to figure that out. also, this has never happened to me, it just occured to me, but if you need any specail equipment, you can get it.

4: label all your boxes clearly. not as important, but 'down hall, Last door right' is better than 'bill's room'. granted, someone can tell us, but it goes faster that way.

5: oh, yes. food. not so important if your paying people, but if it's friends, food and lot's of it. movers get hungry.

6: books are heavier than they look. don't put them in big boxes. only had this happen to me once, but it took two people to carry.

7: mechanical contraptions called dolly's, which i always find funny, are good. have a couple or three ready.

8: be ready when the people get there

9: if your mattresses don't have handles, which the new ones generally don't, sew handles on them. mattresses are a pain to lift. i'd enjoy taking an axe to a mattress.

10: NEVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER buy oak furniture. buy pine, which is light, and oak varnish it. i'd enjoy taking an axe to a peice of oak furniture.

11: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT OAK MATTRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never had to lift one, but i'd pay to take an axe to an oak mattress.

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
11: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT OAK MATTRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never had to lift one, but i'd pay to take an axe to an oak mattress.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wouldn't an oak mattress be kinda hard for sleeping on?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

the bottom one has wood in it.

[oleg]

It is wise to empty your waterbed beforehand.

[Atrocities]

13. Offer Gas money
14. Don't expect them to clean up your messy crap
15. Start to get ready packing **** days before you move. DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.
16. Rent a U-Haul with a lift gate or stong ramp
17. Have a hand truck on site.
18. NEVER MOVE WHILE YOU ARE DRUNK!
19. Organize how you load things in the truck. Nothing worse than disorganization.
20. Um, be sure to pack the love toys and properly secure the box. Better you load that than have someone accidently rip it open.
21. Always plan for the unexpected. If you think you can move in one day, give yourself four.
22. Buy the insurance on the rental moving van or truck.
23. If it can be broken, it will be, so plan accordingly.
24. Always leave someone at the place your moving to. You never know if one of your new neighbors has sticky fingers.
25. CHECK THE SLIDING DOOR. Block it from being opened with a bar.
26. Before you move, HAVE renters or house insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!! And review 24 and 25.

[ August 30, 2003, 15:54: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It is wise to empty your waterbed beforehand.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">we've got a twelve. um, please number them, people?

[Jack Simth]

27. Be willing and able to give the gas money you offer.

[Kamog]

28. Don't insult your helpers: i.e. "Can't you lift that by yourself?"
29. Empty out your dressers and filing cabinets and pack the contents in boxes. Don't try to move them with stuff in them.
30. Don't buy those converting armchairs that expand into beds. Those things are very heavy and hard to carry up and down stairs.
31. Don't buy those old heavy big-screen TV's that weight a ton.
32. If you have one of those workshop organizer boxes with all the little pLastic drawers full of screws and little parts, secure the drawers shut with tape.
33. Don't have little dogs or little kids running about when you're carrying heavy objects.
34. Make sure you have the keys to the garage, storage shed, etc BEFORE you get there.

[Kamog]

35. Actually do some of the work yourself. Don't just stand around bossing everyone around telling them what to do.

[dogscoff]

-To get the job done quicker, motivate your movers with a cat 'o nine tails or cattle prod.

-You break my wardrobe, I break your legs.

-Make sure the first things that get moved are your most comfortable chair and a fridge full of beer, so that you can sit in comfort and gloat as the poor saps drag your housebrick collection up three flights of stairs.

-Reclaim petrol money by charging them for imaginary breakages.

...uncomfortable pause...

What? Why are you all looking at me like that?

[primitive]

Here are some tips which will improve your chances to NOT get "volunteered" when your friends move houses.

- Always be late, chances are good the heavy stuff are already lifted. Keep records of your excuses.
- Break something. Getting a reputation for slippery fingers is always good.
- Complain a lot. Back pains are a winner.
- Eat all the pizza.
- Blood is your friend. If you get a nip, be sure to strategically place blood marks all over before you notice.
- Do the plant. A strategically planted set of handcuffs and a dildo for female friends or a gay porn magazine for your male friends are the best way to make them hire professional movers the next time. Do not do this on couples, you don’t want them to break up and move again.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[primitive]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Primitive: Excellent. I like the way you think. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thanx,
I aim to please (at least when it don’t involve carrying heavy furniture)

[narf poit chez BOOM]

lol

[dogscoff]

Primitive: Excellent. I like the way you think. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Loser]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
9: if your mattresses don't have handles, which the new ones generally don't, sew handles on them. mattresses are a pain to lift. i'd enjoy taking an axe to a mattress.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ehh... Handles on mattresses are not for moving them. The handle is not made to support the weight of the mattress at any angle. These handles are only for moving the mattress around, once it is already on top of the box-springs.

Now you know....