[OT} What *not* to say at Lord of the Rings

[Gryphin]

What not to say at Lord of the Rings
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly: Wait! Which one is Harry Potter?

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'

3. After the movie, proclaim loudly: "Lucas could have done it better!"

4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone in the movie mentions "The Ring."

5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and start singing "And I did it....MY WAY!"

8. Talk loudly like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off somebody's finger and fall down the stairs.

9. Dress up as old ladies and re-enact "The Battle Of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "BARBECUE!"

11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and yell "RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!!"

12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I’m TOLKEIN about!"

13. During a wide shot of a battle scene, yell: "Where's Waldo?"

14. Talk loudly about how you heard there's a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and walk around like everybody else is confused.

17. When they go into the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout "I see DEAD PEOPLE!"

18. Loudly imitate what you think a comversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would sound like.

19. Release a jar of Daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

20. Wonder out loud of Aragorn is going to run for Governor of California.

21. When Shelob appers, loudly exclaim how Charlotte has really let herself go!

22. Three quarters through the movie loudly ask your neighbor "Which one is Michale Flatley and when is he going to dance?"

Edit: forgot the [OT]

[ December 22, 2003, 19:20: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

when Gandolph knocked denethor out when the jerk was yelling "Fall Back!" we had some spontaneus clapping and a few cheers.

who's Dobby?


19. Release a jar of Daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">that could be REALLY funny. maybe i should try that...

i can't beleive no one found this funny:
http://lavendereyes.rivkashome.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Fanfiction&file=index&options=DisplayStory&storyid=128

[ December 22, 2003, 19:16: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Ed Kolis]

23. Keep referring to Gandalf as "Ganondorf"

24. Refer to the Ring as "the Bling-bling"

25. (FotR) Call Strider "Boromir" and vice versa

26. Whenever Saruman appears, boo, hiss, and throw eggs at the screen

27. Constantly say "Shhhh! I'm trying to catch up!" while reading the books

28. Insist that Sam is a girl

29. Insist that *GANDALF* is a girl! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

30. Say, "They could have won a lot quicker if they had Phased Polaron Beams" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

edit: more!

31. Pronounce Gimli's father's name as if you were saying "groin" with a Chinese accent...

32. Quip that if the elf found some building blocks he'd have to change his name to Legosome

33. Refer to said elf as "Link" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

34. Give all the dwarves nicknames like "Sneezy" and "Doc"

35. Complain that the elves are too %@(! TALL! They should look like the ones on the Keebler cookie bags! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

[ December 22, 2003, 19:43: Message edited by: Ed Kolis ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

36. every time they show the Ring, yell "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

37. refer to your popcon/pop as 'my precciousss'.

38. wistle 'taps' each time the rohan charge.

39. play 'taps' on a bugle each time the rohan charge.

40. yell 'LOOK OUT!' 2 seconds before every close call, because you've seen it before.

41. 'i can't beleive this isn't AoTC' or other appropriate movie.

this thread should be labelled *SPOILER*

[ December 22, 2003, 21:03: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Starhawk]

42. When you see the Southrons marching into Morder (TTT) start singing Ohhhhweeeohh like the guys from Wizard of Oz http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif .

43. Refer to the orcs as "Da boyz from da hood" ala spike lee.

44. When the orcs start dying cry loudly "Not my poor little gobby"

45. When the Wraiths get swept away (FOTR) start playing "I get knocked down" by chumbawumba.

46. Dress like Arwen (even when your a guy) and demand that the first bearded person you see kiss you, then hand him a cheap copy of the "Evanstar" and walk away weaping softly...

[ December 22, 2003, 21:09: Message edited by: Starhawk ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

and this definitly deserves a mention

47: http://www.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/ffn/ffn.htm

[Atrocities]

48. Ask if anyone plays SEIV
49. Ask the White wizzard sitting in front of you to take off his hood.
50. Comment on how fake the CGI work looks.
51. Root for Gollum
52. Laugh out loud at the elf while he is jumping around the elephant.
53. Point out obvious plot errors.
54. Point out obvious filming errors
55. Stand up and yell, "NO!! DON'T GO IN THE CAVE YOU IDIOT!!"

EDIT More
56. Say out loud, Man this would make a great game
57. Say out loud just before the Orcs charge, "Ancient treaties stipulate that this white city belongs to eye."
58. Confirm that Sam is a girl
59. Confirm that Gandolf did go to Hogwarts.
60. Ask where Sam and Fortos (sp) shoes are.

[ December 22, 2003, 22:26: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

53. Point out obvious plot errors.
54. Point out obvious filming errors
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana"> did you spot any? aside from places where they didn't stick to the book, i mean.

and it's Frodo.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">LOL. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif This is the best one!

When I first saw FOTR, I remember seeing his face and thinking, "hey, I've seen that guy somewhere before - it looks so familiar!" but it took me several minutes of thinking to suddenly realize, it's Agent Smith! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Starhawk]

Originally posted by Atrocities:

60. Ask where Sam and Fortos (sp) shoes are. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Hobbits don't wear shoes and they never have http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[CNCRaymond]

60. Ask where Sam and Fortos (sp) shoes are. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">ROFLMAO That is some funny sh**.

Think Frodo + Fart + Mentos

Do you still have the link to the short film? If I recall, that was one sick film. But still LMAO. Well done.

Starhawk, that was the point I think. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ December 23, 2003, 07:01: Message edited by: CNCRaymond ]

[Fyron]

Originally posted by Starhawk:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Originally posted by Atrocities:

60. Ask where Sam and Fortos (sp) shoes are. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Hobbits don't wear shoes and they never have http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Hence the joke... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[dogscoff]

61 - Repeatedly point out how much Elvish sounds like Welsh.
62 - Prove point 61 by loudly dubbing the entire in film into Welsh.
63 - Repeatedly point out how much 'Elvish' sounds like 'Elvis'. Accompany your observations with hilarious "Elvish Elvis" renditions.
64 - Come to the cinema dressed in a 50 foot high, suplhur-belching Balrog costume and sit in the front row.
65 - Explain to everyone that if this were nethack, Gandalph could easily wipe out that orc army with nothing more than a wand of polymorph, some blank bits of paper and a magic marker.
66 - Discuss in depth the resemblance between the Eye of Sauron and a certain part of the female anatomy, and the Freudian socio-psychological implications that it casts upon the makers of the film.

[ December 23, 2003, 10:15: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Rollo]

67 - As Leggy finishes his stunt with the mumak (known as the 'Orliphaunt', btw) exclaim: "Yabba Dabba Doo!"
68 - Towards the end of the movie yell: "Die already! I gotta pee!"
69 - Everytime the tower of Barad Dur is shown, say: "Look, it's Geoschmo!

[ December 23, 2003, 10:46: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[Ed Kolis]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
66 - Discuss in depth the resemblance between the Eye of Sauron and a certain part of the female anatomy, and the Freudian socio-psychological implications that it casts upon the makers of the film. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I know... one time I went to Gamespy and I saw the Eye pop out at me (it was an ad for a LotR game) and at first I thought! GAAA PORN ADS ON GAMESPY!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Now I'll REALLY get in trouble for surfing the internet at work! Then I realized it was just the Eye... actually it might have been the Ring at an angle, I'm not sure, it flashed by so fast...

[geoschmo]

73. Loudly engage your freinds in a game of "Six degrees..." all during the movie.

Elrond! Played by Hugo Weaving, who stared as Agent Smith in the Matrix, opposite Carrie-Anne Moss, who played in Red Planet with Val Kilmer, who starred in Top Gun with Tim Robbins aka 'Lt. Merlin', who appeared in Bull Durham with Kevin Costner, who starred in JFK as Jim Garrison, opposite the character Willie O'Keefe played by Kevin Bacon!

Gimli! Played by John Rhys-Davies, who appeared in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Harrison Ford, who played in Working Girl with Sigourney Weaver, who starred in Ghostbusters with Dan Akroyd, who played in Dragnet with Christopher Plummer, who starred in A Beautiful Mind with Ed Harris, who also appeared in Appolo 13, with Kevin Bacon! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ December 23, 2003, 13:52: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[Gryphin]

/Makes note to self what cites not to see LOYR in.

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
/Makes note to self what cites not to see LOYR in. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">LoYR? is that a new movie? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif j/k'ing

[Gryphin]

I mispel things so people know it realy is me.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

71 - Get two friends. Two of you should dress as robots, the third in a blue jumpsuit. Sit in the very front row of the theater, and say all the lines in this thread VERY LOUD at the appropriate moments. And every once in awhile say, "Hey Dr. Forrester, when's the commerical break?!?"
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">oh look, another pop culture reference has gone completly over my head. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Fyron]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
oh look, another pop culture reference has gone completly over my head. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Hardly "pop culture," more like "geek culture". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Mystery Science Theater 3k, which aired on Sci-Fi channel for many years.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

thanks.

74: sing "we will, we will, ROCK YOU!" when the catapults start firing.

[David E. Gervais]

just what is "Pop-Culture" anyway? Does it have anything to do with sasparilla?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[General Woundwort]

70 - During the spider attack on Frodo, say "Man, he should have used Deep Woods Off..."

And the piece de resistance...

71 - Get two friends. Two of you should dress as robots, the third in a blue jumpsuit. Sit in the very front row of the theater, and say all the lines in this thread VERY LOUD at the appropriate moments. And every once in awhile say, "Hey Dr. Forrester, when's the commerical break?!?"

[Loser]

72. Warn your friends that you will talk during the previews, but fail to warn them that you have issues with large spiders jumping out of dark places.

True story, went to the movie with a crowd of friends. Chick friend sat next to me and totally freaked out at the Shelob scene. I had no idea, no warning that she was going to scream.... Goddamn adrenaline kicked in like cold coffee with ephedrine for creamer and I was high for the next twenty minutes.

I think her boyfriend/fiancée/husband (not actually sure of the status of that) was trying to calm her down, but she screamed again when Frodo got the hypo-loving.

On the plus side, for the rest of the movie I got full claim to the armrest on the other side, as some stranger decided he didn't want to sit on our row after all.

[Gryphin]

I thought Pop Culture grows between a fathers toes.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

who would be selling the directer's cut editions and how long are they?

[Taera]

*falls from the chair laughing*

[Iansidious]

Let me take a shot at this...


75.At a climatic battle scene take a replica of Boromir's horn and BLOW! . Scare the snot out of people. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Taera]

i realy realy gotta try some of these when i go to the theatre... including this one http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

including this one
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">which one?

[Taera]

75.At a climatic battle scene take a replica of Boromir's horn and BLOW! . Scare the snot out of people

[Puke]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
63 - Repeatedly point out how much 'Elvish' sounds like 'Elvis'. Accompany your observations with hilarious "Elvish Elvis" renditions.<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">76 - show up dressed as Elvis. Explain that it is The Return of the King, after all.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

76 - show up dressed as Elvis. Explain that it is The Return of the King, after all.
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">LOL

[Atrocities]

Originally posted by Puke:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Originally posted by dogscoff:
63 - Repeatedly point out how much 'Elvish' sounds like 'Elvis'. Accompany your observations with hilarious "Elvish Elvis" renditions.<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">76 - show up dressed as Elvis. Explain that it is The Return of the King, after all. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Hail to the king baby. -