Things That I Have Discovered In Life

[Atrocities]

Things that I have discovered in life that I want to share with you all.

1. Cats can pretty much eat anything without gaging
2. Dogs make great vacum cleaners
3. No matter how fast you drive, you will always get stuck at a red light and all the cars you passed will catch up to you.
4. Nothing is truly free.
5. If its important, you will loose it, or forget to do it.
6. One more click really means staying up all night
7. If it tastes good, then it is bad for you. But what the hell, it tastes good. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
8. Water and computers do not mix
9. HP Customer support is in INDIA and it sucks
10. HP SUCKS!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

11. DO NOT jump off the lower half of the stairs. Ouch. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif Doesn't matter how many times you've done it successfully.

12. Sometimes, adrenaline is your friend. Like the time I slipped on a larch patch of ice and learned how to recover with flailing. (Go with the spin, plant your hands on the ice and use the spin to torque yourself back up once your turned around. Don't know if I could do it now.)

[Atrocities]

13. When asked, "Why did you do it?" Answer with "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Guilty. Very guilty. Even before I went a little nuts I was impulsive. In fact...I havn't changed a bit!

Did I scare anyone, huh huh? Did I? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Slynky]

14. If you pour half a glass of milk for your child, they will need more in the middle of the meal but if you fill it up, half a glass will be left at the end of the meal.

15. Children are emotional sponges.

16. The probability of an event happening is inversely proportional to its desirability (you can bank on this one).

[sachmo]

19. People will risk life and limb just to avoid waiting.

20. People are much braver and opinionated on the internet then they would be at a bar

21. Children change your life

22. Children make your life wonderful

23. You can beat it, no matter what it is.

24. Lowfat ice creme is pretty dang good.

25. Balance is the key to making a relationship work.

26. You have to escape sometimes.

27. You can never have too many friends.

28. Laughter can turn your whole day around.

[Slynky]

20a. The same *******s who race down a half-mile merge lane on the interstate highway using the Last 10 feet of cement to force themself in front of your car would never run the Last 10 feet to to the same kind of thing at a theatre line.

[Gandalf Parker]

For some strange reason (worth a psych class term paper Id say) the Last cars to turn on their headlights are the ones which most needed to. They tend to match the color of the road or darkness. Whether its darkness, rain, fog, whatever. Check it out next time.

I think there is something about the choice of colors. People who choose bright cars want to be seen, and people who choose dark ones want to stay stealthy or unnoticed? I dont know why. Thats for someone else to try and figure out.

If anyone DID do a study, Id like them to do it in a parking lot so they can question the people coming in. Question all of the "wrong" ones to the theory, and see if maybe they arent the ones who chose the color of their car.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

30: The directions are there for a reason.

[EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro]

The drivers of the fancier cars (Mercedes,BMW) tend not to use their turn signals and are most likely the ones that will cut you off.

Maybe they are using their turn signals, I just need to buy those infrared goggles to see them!

If you are ethnic, you will buy a lowered Honda or Nissan, stick a muffler on it and call it a "sports car"

[Ragnarok-X]

32: People always meet twice in life

[Intimidator]

33: Never start drinking scotch after you just emptied your 17th bottle of beer.

(did it this weekend and believe me: IS NOT GOOD)

[ July 13, 2004, 19:49: Message edited by: Intimidator ]

[Slynky]

34. No matter how you cut it (no pun intended), farts are just plain funny http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

[narf poit chez BOOM]

35. Originality is very hard; creativity is easy. Try for the first, make sure you've got the second.

[Atrocities]

36. If you hide something for safe keeping, you will never find it again.

37. If its valuable, your children will accidently break it.

38. If you believe it will happen, most likely it will.

39. Running is over rated.

40. The Dry DOES eat your socks.

[Puke]

hmm. lots of things too keep track of. i think its simpler:

1 - know who you are
2 - do what you have to do
3 - accept the consequences for your actions

Period.

[Slynky]

#36 (by Atrocities)

Now, ain't THAT the truth!? How many times I've said, "I can't lose this, I had better put it some place where I know it's safe!" (and then later can't find the darn thing)!

[Gandalf Parker]

Contrary to what you were taught, those speed limit signs do NOT represent the maximum speed you may drive with lesser speeds being allowed. In fact, quite the oppossite. In reality, they represent the slowest speed you may drive without people getting mad at you.

[Slynky]

Originally posted by Gandalf Parker:
Contrary to what you were taught, those speed limit signs do NOT represent the maximum speed you may drive with lesser speeds being allowed. In fact, quite the oppossite. In reality, they represent the slowest speed you may drive without people getting mad at you. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">AMEN! (and depending what city you're in, even doing the speed limit has a good chance of getting you the finger or "looks")

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Please number. The next number is 46. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Slynky]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
Please number. The next number is 46. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">46. Narf can sometimes be a bit anal http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif .

[cazadorm]

17. Someone telling you "Don't ever try that" will make you try it.

[psimancer]

4 a there aint no such thing a free lunch T.A.N.S.T.A.F.L. tanstafl (good cussword http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif )
there aint no justice T.A.N.J. tanj (another one)
original cred larry niven

18 no one can be trusted
your supervisor yer cheif your officer your captain yer friends yer family and especially yer bedmate

[ July 13, 2004, 13:00: Message edited by: psimancer ]

[Kamog]

47.

95% of the stuff you learn in school you never use after you finish school.

[Gryphin]

48: SEIV players are cynical generalist
Edited under duress http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ;

[ July 14, 2004, 02:26: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

That's 48. Now remember, or I shall annoy you again! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gandalf Parker]

49a. 90% of computer Users will say they are below average computer Users.
49b. 90% of car drivers will say they are above average drivers.

[Gryphin]

50: There ain't no easy answers, (not even the ones provided in this thread)

[tesco samoa]

51. 76% of all numbers are made up on the spot.
52. Have you ever been polled before
31 % yes
22% no
37% undesided.

53. peanut butter is really good on burgers.
54. beer is good to wash it down.
55. beer is good
56. iced tea not sweet tea in canada.
57. if a canadian is thursty in usa and wants a refreshing cold glass of ice tea not to buy 'iced tea' and down it.
58. it is rather funny to watch a canadian drink 'ice tea' while on holidays in the usa.

[Suicide Junkie]

Originally posted by Gandalf Parker:
Contrary to what you were taught, those speed limit signs do NOT represent the maximum speed you may drive with lesser speeds being allowed. In fact, quite the oppossite. In reality, they represent the slowest speed you may drive without people getting mad at you. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Very true. As well:

59: "50% more is fine."
The 50% rule applies to any speed limits on yellow/orange signs during nice weather in a small car.

60: Applying the 50% rule to white limit signs is generally frowned upon by authorities, although is sometimes seen near Toronto.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

61: Sudden changes in velocity are bad for your health.

62: Brush your teeth at least twice every day.

63: Think.

[ July 14, 2004, 05:13: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Atrocities]

64. You always find things when your not looking for them.
65. Never ask the lady who is cutting your hair when she is due. (Very bad)
66. Always read the fine print, especially when it comes to money.
67. American made cars and trucks Last about 20,000 miles before they start to break down while Jap made cars and trucks Last between 150k to 200k before they start to break down.
68. Never Bar Bay Q indoors during an ice storm.
69. Never use a hair dryer while taking a shower.
70. There is a differance between gas and desiel, and gas cars do not run on desiel, and desiels do not run on regular. (True Story poor the wrong gas can into the big truck. Dad was pissed.)
71. Women are seldom right, although any man dumb enough to say anything other than, "Your absolutely right dear," gets what he deserves.

[ July 14, 2004, 06:30: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

69a: Never use any electrical appliance that isn't rated waterproof around water, and I would be cautious of any with enough power to kill.

71a: This is why Narf will probably never get married, since I don't back down to anyone when I'm right. I'd have to marry a women who'd settle for 'hmm'.

[Atrocities]

72. Drinks at comedy clubs are grossly over priced.
73. Going to the movies alone is considered pathetic.
74. The term Rush hour is an oxymoron.
75. No matter how well you plan something, it never goes as planned.
76. Japanese Porno Animy is very interesting... Seriously. (Discovered this by mistake)
77. If you’re up at 3am watching TV, your most likely eating Doritos, ice cream, or left over cold pizza.
78. Space Empires IV is as addictive as crack cocaine.
79. If you build it, they WILL tax you to death.
80. When the gas gauge needle is on the big E, better get some gas soon.

[ July 14, 2004, 06:50: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

81: Knowing wether you should do something is just as important as knowing wether something should be done. Got that from a book. Decided it made sense.

[bearclaw]

82. There are 3 kinds of people in the world: Those who are good at math, and those who arn't.

[Kamog]

83. Nobody is normal.

84. Whenever there's a lunar eclipse or solar eclipse, it's cloudy.

85. It's almost impossible to win any prizes with those McDonald's Monopoly games because you very quickly get all the stickers you need except for one and keep getting duplicates of the ones you already have.

86. It's possible to take the square root of an imaginary or complex number. You just get another complex number as the answer.

87. It's important to always use the proper safety equipment when doing any sort of sports or activity where you could potentially get hurt.

88. Some vegetables and fruits don't keep very long and you have to eat them quickly before they go bad. So don't buy tons of broccoli, cucumbers, bananas etc if you're not going to eat it within the week.

[Gandalf Parker]

89a. Normal people who think they are crazy, are normal.
89b. Crazy people who know they are crazy are safe.
89c. Normal people who think they are normal are fanatics.
89d. Crazy people who think they are normal are considered to be the most dangerous.

89. Avoid anyone who says they are normal.

[bearclaw]

90. Beware of strange Warp Points.

[Atrocities]

Originally posted by bearclaw:
90. Beware of strange Warp Points. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">You get the Five Star for the day. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Atrocities]

91. I miss being 10 years old.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001NECFU.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Tell me these wouldn't have been fun.

[David E. Gervais]

"Action Figures" Wow, they really do look like fun.

But I didn't know they were the exclusive property/right of 10-year-olds. Why can't you enjoy them today?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yeah. You're never to old to play with toys, only to rigid.

[geoschmo]

92. Don't be too rigid to play with toys, or too embarased to admit it. Unless you are playing with rigid toys, in that case it's best to keep it to yourself. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Slynky]

Rigid toys? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif

[Gryphin]

Yes Slinky, "rigid toys" like swords and things. What were you thinking?

[ July 14, 2004, 22:40: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Atrocities]

I have much more to discover

[Kamog]

94. If you try to make everybody around you happy, you will not be happy.

95. Let's face it. We are never going to learn what "Circle the Wagons" and "Gryphin position" mean.

96. Those laundry detergents that are supposed to make your shirts and socks all sparkly white don't actually work as well as they do in the TV commercials.

97. In a fight, the big guy has a tremendous natural advantage.

[Slynky]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Yes Slinky, "rigid toys" like swords and things. What were you thinking? <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Well...guess I shouldn't answer http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

[Slynky]

Originally posted by Kamog:
95. Let's face it. We are never going to learn what "Circle the Wagons" and "Gryphin position" mean.
<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Some things are best left to our on fantasies/imagination http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .