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NullAshton
April 4th, 2005, 03:44 PM
The hut you all know and love, now in it's new mobile location! Hovering in geosyncronous orbit above the old hut! The old hut is converted to storage areas, and parking lots. Simply park, walk out of your car, then check in, and you're automatically air-lifted into the new hut via our precision artificial gravity generators! Air is included in the path up, so that you don't choke or anything.

RudyHuxtable
April 4th, 2005, 03:50 PM
Hello Hut Fans!

As Commander General NullAshton has pointed out, we've made some changes to the Hut! We went orbital baby! Groovy!

We're also changing around the menu a bit, and installing special rooms for those with different atmospheric needs. Already there are hydrogen breathers enjoying fine native cuisine in the Deuterium Room!

Keep those recipes coming, and stay sexy!

Rudy Huxtable

DeadZone
April 4th, 2005, 03:50 PM
And my HMS Yin-Yang Kebab-loving Chippy stands by her side as apart of a new alliance...
A complete pleasure boat, full of hot women and lots of chips (as in what you yanks call fries... well chips are bigger than fries, but still)

NullAshton
April 4th, 2005, 03:59 PM
Military alliances are welcome, we'd love to have more protection for the hut. The new hut is made out of pure neutronium, but we'd still appreciate it if you helped to defend it!

El_Phil
April 4th, 2005, 04:03 PM
Very well I send along a ship full of Starfleet Redshirts and Imperal Stormies commanded by a officer who is never given a name and believes the power of the force is insignicant.

Yes HMS Domed Decoy will proudly protect the hut by drawing any nearby fire or bad luck onto her cursed crew.

NullAshton
April 4th, 2005, 04:04 PM
Let's keep Darth Vader away from the HMS Domed Decoy, shall we...

RudyHuxtable
April 4th, 2005, 04:55 PM
Just so everybody knows, our grand opening treat is Phongcicles! Chilled and crispy on the outside, soft and squishy on the inside!

kerensky
April 4th, 2005, 07:02 PM
/me pulls up in new super monitor (10,000 kt) and parks in orbit of station./

I'll take a Phongcicle and some distilled Eee.

NullAshton
April 4th, 2005, 07:16 PM
Ooo, they have distilled Eee! Give me a glass!

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 5th, 2005, 05:50 AM
Just to make Kerensky turn green with jealousy, Strategia parks his COMCA (25000kT) next to Kerensky's Super Monitor and enters.

"Well well well..... nice comparison ain't it?"

Kerensky's color instantly changes from green to something that looks rather like the distilled EEE he's holding.

"Just gimme a Galactic Core, extra strong, please. I've got a bit of a headache from when my Dreadnaught blew up again at Thaddis Sabbah."

El_Phil
April 5th, 2005, 07:58 AM
El Phil parks his 500kt cloakable star killer in between the COMCA and Super Monitor

"Nice ships you boys have got. Over compensating for something are you?"

NullAshton
April 5th, 2005, 08:23 AM
I'm happy with this small neutronium hut. Oh, and there's the cloaked dreadnaughts outside...

Ashton gets his distillted Eee, and starts drinking it.

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 5th, 2005, 02:28 PM
Strategia lets his COMCA rotate to face the neutronium Hut. A precision strike then follows, neatly taking out the standing-wave gravitational hologram remote-projector without even making the slightest of scorchmarks on the hull.

From now on if Ashton wants to talk to people on the ground he'll have to go down himself.

NullAshton
April 5th, 2005, 02:29 PM
A new holoprojector is rapidly placed on the hull of the hut.

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 5th, 2005, 02:46 PM
As soon as the robots leave the airlock to install the new holoprojector, a precision strike blows them up, sending the projector spinning away. A small black hole open up and swallows the projector before it is closed again.

NullAshton
April 5th, 2005, 03:23 PM
You people are rude. I simply want to stay away from that evil jukebox.

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 5th, 2005, 03:30 PM
FEAR THE JUKEBOX!!!!!

kerensky
April 5th, 2005, 08:38 PM
Okay, I'm new. What's the jukebox?

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 6th, 2005, 05:48 AM
That's down on Earth, in the B&G. An evil jukebox. Ashton doesn't want to come into contact with it, the lilly-livered sissy.

THAT'S RIGHT, ASHTON!!!!! IF YOU HAD ANY SPINE YOU WOULD BE DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW FIGHTING THE JUKEBOX!!!!!

El_Phil
April 6th, 2005, 06:59 AM
The jukebox in the B&G which has both an evil random play button that wants to kill all sentient life by playing Phong opera at them and the spirit of RSK (Ripped Shirt Kirk) which wants to play William Shatner singing what's new pussycat, or possibly samples from ST:2 "Khan!!!!!!!!"

Luckily these two are locked in a battle of wills which is deadlocked. Deep beneath these two is another evil personality which has a worse taste in music and wants to play Celine Dion at us. Truly an evil machine.

NullAshton
April 6th, 2005, 08:34 AM
I kinda found out about the personality deep inside while trying to distract the other two personalities.

NullAshton
April 6th, 2005, 02:43 PM
Good news! Soon we'll have The Arena, where you can duke it out all you want to with no restrictions! No more bothering the eating and drinking patrons with your fighting!

El_Phil
April 7th, 2005, 04:32 PM
But does the new orbital hut still do EEE on a stick?

And of course my favourite Cue-Capp Tequila, with a half dead Phong in it to prove it wont dissolve your liver. And of course because it's alawys fun watching a Phong try and swim http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

NullAshton
April 7th, 2005, 04:34 PM
All of your favorite recipies are here. It's larger than the old Hut, so why reduce the menu?

El_Phil
April 7th, 2005, 04:41 PM
Then a couple of BBQ EEE on a stick, a pint of your finest and a Cue-Cappa tequila.

El Phil sends his GeesKat Imperial guard to watch the door and escort the tequila to the table. No Puke intervention this time!

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 8th, 2005, 06:50 AM
The salagull and seamander legions eye the geeskat armied warily, assessing their strengths and weaknesses, preparing for an eventual battle.

Meanwhile, several Gherkin prisoners are being used to carry copious amounts of alcoholic beverages to Strategia's table.

El_Phil
April 8th, 2005, 07:12 AM
Hey this BBQ'd EEE tastes a little flat, are you sure he was fully charged before being cooked?

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 8th, 2005, 08:51 AM
Thet's not a BBQed EEE, that's an angry Akah! Run! Run! My legions are down at the B&G, they can't help us! RUN!!!!!

El_Phil
April 8th, 2005, 08:56 AM
Ahhh I knew I should of got some chips from HMS Yin-Yang Kebab-loving Chippy.

I'll try and lead it to the B&G Jukebox, it could be our only hope!

NullAshton
April 8th, 2005, 09:01 AM
The food-processing robots shall save us!

The angry Akah is promtly shredded into tiny bitesize pieces by the robots.

New menu item! Chopped Angry Akah!

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 8th, 2005, 09:01 AM
I don't think so, the spirit of RSK can beat any Akah any day of the week any time any place.....

El_Phil
April 8th, 2005, 09:14 AM
But are they BBQ'd?

NullAshton
April 8th, 2005, 10:21 AM
Perhaps, just put sauce on it and grill it!

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 8th, 2005, 03:07 PM
Strategia orders some of his new Salagull Flamethrower Infantry to attack the Akah, and it is quickly reduced to a crispy and tasty snack.

Meanwhile, more Salagull infantry and Seamander air forces are being outfitted with heavy weaponry - flamethrowers, rocket launchers and Bread Pudding cannons.....

NullAshton
April 8th, 2005, 03:13 PM
Sorry, the Akah is already dead.

kerensky
April 8th, 2005, 07:53 PM
Me orders a couple of party trays of BBG Akah and places them on large tables in the middle of room. Dipping souces include creamed EEE, sweet and sour phong, and etc.

El_Phil
April 11th, 2005, 07:07 AM
You know what this place needs to complete the takeaway hut feeling? A frutie/fruit machine/pookie/insert cultural reference here.

And I think I know where I can get one cheap, reliable guy, sold stuff in the area before. Nice varied stock, even sells jukeboxes. Should be delivered any day now.

El_Phil
April 18th, 2005, 07:16 AM
Hmm, slightly dead around here. Good thing that the Fruit Machine's turned up.

Although I'm fairly sure that it shouldn't have glowing eyes all the time. It's not even plugged in...

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 18th, 2005, 07:20 AM
When Strategia walks in, he finds the Hut surprisingly empty, and all the escape pods have been used up.

A tumbleweed scurries along the floor.

Then he spots - IT.....

NullAshton
April 18th, 2005, 08:33 AM
If you've been playing with the cloning machine again, I'm going to kick you out of the Hut.

El_Phil
April 18th, 2005, 09:05 AM
I don't think you can clone an evil demonically possessed jukebox and get a possibly evil maybe demonically but certainly possessed fruit machine...

Not without some very serious mad science and evil physics at least. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

David E. Gervais
April 18th, 2005, 11:00 AM
David sneaks in and sabotages the jukebox,.. it will now only play Barry Manalow and ABBA music/songs.

in the background the music plays and a chorus of "Money, Money, Money, Must be funny in a rich mans world,..." can be heard.

David takes a seat at his regular table and orders a tall glass of Amonkriean Ale and a straw..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 18th, 2005, 11:02 AM
/me yanks Ashton back into existence and places him right in front of the jukebox.

NullAshton
April 18th, 2005, 11:11 AM
Ashton fiddles with the jukebox. The jukebox now plays SE4 background music.

El_Phil
April 18th, 2005, 12:27 PM
I'm warning you David: You do that again and I'm replacing the jukebox with the RSK possessed/Evil random play button machine from the B&G!

Now time for some relaxing fruit machine based entertainment. Right chuck the money in and here we go!

The reels on the machine slowly spin to a halt:
6-6-6 shows. All the lights on the machine light up and the power to the Hut dims...

NullAshton
April 18th, 2005, 01:39 PM
[i]Ashton retreats to the storage rooms of the hut.[i]

I'll be back!

El_Phil
April 19th, 2005, 08:10 AM
Hmmm so should I take the 'Purgatory Superpunt'? Double your money at the risk of your eternal soul. It is tempting.

El_Phil
April 27th, 2005, 08:55 AM
Seems quiet. I think the Hut needs a makeover, maybe a new owner.

Hey NA how much to take this place of your hands?

NullAshton
April 27th, 2005, 12:04 PM
Sorry, I'm keeping it. Invite some bar patrons over!

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 29th, 2005, 06:38 AM
David E. Gervais said:
David sneaks in and sabotages the jukebox,.. it will now only play Barry Manalow and ABBA music/songs.

in the background the music plays and a chorus of "Money, Money, Money, Must be funny in a rich mans world,..." can be heard.

David takes a seat at his regular table and orders a tall glass of Amonkriean Ale and a straw..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif



ABBA? How coincidental. My class is having an exchange program with a Swedish class this week. They're here now, and in two weeks we go there. So that's why I was pretty much absent for the past few days http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

(Hmm /threads/images/Graemlins/icon18.gif , are you perhaps psychically gifted?)

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 09:31 AM
I think I saw him over with the Cue Cappa one day.

Strategia, would you like anything to drink?

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 09:41 AM
I'll take a pan-galactic gargle blaster, a rare Jraenar steak and a double cue-cappa tequila.

And has anyone fixed that jukebox yet? If not I may be forced to destroy it to save us from 'old big nose' and his evil swedish hencemen/women.

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 09:45 AM
Ashton slides the gargle blaster and the tequila over to El Phil.

Sorry, no J'raenar steak. And by the way, I fixed the jukebox, it now plays relaxing SE4 background music http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 09:52 AM
What!? Heresy I tell you. OK do you do any steak? I've had enough EEE on a stick to last me ohhh... days http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

If there's no steak I may have to start the Sofa-King Tasty Steak House. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 10:02 AM
We have juicy BLUE J'raenar steaks, if you want one, just not RED J'raenar steaks.

Ashton slides a blue steak over to El Phil.

Tastes the same, just different colors http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 10:14 AM
Suffers tragic Matrix based flashback but can't remember which colour is which

Strategia_In_Ultima
April 29th, 2005, 01:05 PM
"'old big nose' and his Swedish henchmen/women"? Is that perhaps me.....?

Strategia inches closer, slowly taking out a pulse pistol from his belt. Phil turns white. Strategia lifts the gun and fires.

Oh dammit, should've put in a new battery.....

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 02:05 PM
Strategia is swarmed by Meerese before he can pull the trigger, with the dead pistol flying across the bar. Strategia is then taken to the back room, where he's interrogated for trying to kill a Hut patron. Screaming can be heard for 5 minutes, then its silent...

If you have to shoot someone, take it to The Arena please...

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 02:11 PM
The Dutch hey? Can't live with 'em, can't legally shoot them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Anyway "old big nose" is barry manalow. I tell you Strat: Unless they are out to get you it is Paranoia.

Anyway, Aston. You got any steak that's the correct colour?

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 02:19 PM
I have some regular steak... If that's what you want. What about some Ukra-tal steak? It's red I think...

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 02:23 PM
You know I don't think you're cut out for being a restauraunterererererererer. Just like I'm not cut out to spell after a few drinks.

Right, chucking all caution to the wind, I'll take a prime rump Ukra-tal steak, medium-rare, plenty of Phong mustard and a few Jraeanr Kebabs. You do them right?

NullAshton
April 29th, 2005, 02:45 PM
Kinda hard to serve cooked meats of your own race, you know... That's why I don't serve red J'raenar meat. You can have the other items though.

El_Phil
April 29th, 2005, 02:52 PM
You've kept that quiet. If I'd known I wouldn't of asked.

Xin loi mate. Xin loi.