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  #201  
Old September 9th, 2004, 11:43 AM

Mark the Merciful
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dum-de-dum-dum-dum-dum etc.

Welcome to Aran News Network, brought to you by the Power of the Spheres.

The main story tonight; Ulm's Cyclops dies in a tragic wraithsword accident. An Ulmish spokesmith said, "He'll be back. Anyone need any horseshoes?" The Jotunheim Ministry of Propoganda and Gloating issued the following press release; "Ha ha ha!" Analysts speculate that one-eyed Pretenders may have had their day; "in these modern times one needs to have a global vision to be a competiitive Pretender" said Pontius Pontificus of the Aran Institute of Theology. "That's twice as hard with only one eye."

A bribery scandal rocks the Motherhood and Apple-pie Alliance, as several prominent Mercenary Companies defect from the Evil Overlords, causing much confusion on the front lines. Many claim the defections are the result of enormous bribes paid to the mercenary Captains; eye-witnesses state that every soldier in Brave's Breakers was wearing a gold Rolex at a recent parade. Aides to Captain Brave say that he is currently unable to comment because of an Ulmish lance stuck through his head.

Machakan and Arco forces withdraw from some of their most advanced positions. "Aaaaaargh!"s of celebration were heard from sacrificial victims all across the Mictlan capital city.

In a new development, giants in the armies of Jotunheim are going into battle with strange runes etched into their breastplates and shields. An Ulmish crossbowman who took part in a recent battle said; "a bloke in my platoon speaks Jote, and he told me the runes said things like; 'this Niefel Jarl is proudly sponsored by Cealum Airlines.' and 'Caelum Airlines: Fast as lightning.'" Does this indicate a new phase in the war? A Caelum spokeseraph smiled seraphicly and refused to comment.

And finally, mysterious Pangaea continues to maintian its lonely peaceful course. The Pangaean spokesmaenad was so distracting we forgot to ask her any questions. Pictures at seven, eight, nine, eleven, twelve and all through the night on the Aran XXX channel.

And that's all from Aran News tonight. Good night.

Dum-de-dum etc.
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  #202  
Old September 9th, 2004, 02:31 PM

reverend reverend is offline
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Default Re: Players

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

In a confusing turn of events, celebration of Pythium Archtheurg Egalitus over encircling the Arco army sieging the Pythium capitol was cut short, when Caelum Airlines landed in the snakes camp.

Caelum Spokesseraph comments on this: "Ooops."

Caelum Airlines CEO blames this event on bad weather, to which Pythium spokessnakes reponded: "This isn't bad weather, it's a SWAMP for snakes sake!"

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*
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  #203  
Old September 9th, 2004, 06:36 PM

Aku Aku is offline
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Pangaea says that Korak is a male name not a female name.

And keep up the writing Mark.
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  #204  
Old September 9th, 2004, 07:51 PM

Lex Lex is offline
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Quote:
reverend said:
*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*

In a confusing turn of events, celebration of Pythium Archtheurg Egalitus over encircling the Arco army sieging the Pythium capitol was cut short, when Caelum Airlines landed in the snakes camp.

Caelum Spokesseraph comments on this: "Ooops."

Caelum Airlines CEO blames this event on bad weather, to which Pythium spokessnakes reponded: "This isn't bad weather, it's a SWAMP for snakes sake!"

*swamp gas forming the National Pythium News logo*
Official Response from Caelum Airlines: "The flash of light you saw in the sky was not our Airlines. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus."
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  #205  
Old September 15th, 2004, 05:51 AM

Mark the Merciful
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(cue airy violin music)

...And welcome back to ANN's Reading Matters. Our final book tonight is the "The Battle of Dershid: Last charge of the giants." by Erik Eriksen. As the Global War still rages around us, it is clearly far too early to make historical judgements about its course so far. So Eriksen's book must surely be seen as more journalism than history. Still, it is the first book to cover a decisive battle from the first phase of the war.

The author is at his best when narrating the battle and the maneuvers leading up to it. His clear crisp prose powerfully brings to life such dramatic moments as Frosty the Son of Niefel storming forward to turn the tide of battle, or the tragic failure of the Niefel Giants as they fell one by one trying to break the Ulmish line, or the cool heroism of Ulm's Master Smiths as they fired magma bolt after magma bolt into the giants; even as a pack of winter wolves broke into their rear and rampaged amongst them.

Eriksen's analysis is more controversial. He is surely right to suggest that Dershid was a Pyrhic victory for Jotunheim. But his speculation that the pursuit that led to the battle was the result of an Ulmish intelligence failure is unsubstantiated, and his assertion that the failure of the Niefels at the gates of Ulm and their fall at Dershid were the result of C'tis War Syndrome and widespread Gingerbread addiction is hotly denied by the Jotun temple authorities. Still, this is a well written and thought-provoking work that will appeal both to the amateur militatry historian and the avaerage giant in the street.

That's all we have time for tonight. Next week in Reading Matters we'll be looking at "Wot you lookin' at? The rise and fall of the one-eyed Pretender", "Give Peace a Chance: A one-page Enyclopedia of Pangaean war heroes" and "Lizards in the mist", the new best-seller from C'tis. Until then, good night.

(cue more airy violin music)
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  #206  
Old September 16th, 2004, 06:26 PM
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The_Tauren13 The_Tauren13 is offline
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Something is all [censored] up with my turn... i cant get in.
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  #207  
Old September 16th, 2004, 09:37 PM

Aku Aku is offline
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umm half of team A has the blinking problem so are unable to do their turns...is this the same thing with team B?

Oh and its not their computer it is their nation. I can do my pangaea turn but if I log into their turns I get the blinky problem. It blinks so fast that you really cant see anything.
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  #208  
Old September 17th, 2004, 12:13 AM

alexti alexti is offline
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Yeah, I have this problem, it's only in the nation selection screen though, after that it's ok.
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  #209  
Old September 17th, 2004, 08:54 AM

alexti alexti is offline
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After careful examination I can see that the nation screen doesn't show my (Mictlan) turn as made. Though when I select the nation it warns that I've already played this turn. So I've no idea if the server has accepted my turn submission or not.
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  #210  
Old September 17th, 2004, 10:10 AM

Mark the Merciful
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It's been fine for me since yesterday evening (and I've done my turn, cancelled it, done it again, then logged in twice to make changes!)
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