Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Kamog]

So, when are we going to have a name for the new Cantina?

Oh, and is it safe to say ONIONS here in this new establishment?
*Quickly holds up a parasol for protection, just in case*

[Taz-in-Space]

With a click and a whooossshh, a trapdoor is triggered under Kamog and he falls into a large smelly room filled with ripe ONIONS.

Taz shakes his head and wonders why Kamog thought the NEW Cantina would function in exactly the same way as the old one!

Taz does however think that Kamog has a valid point: It is time to NAME THAT CANTINA!

Taz looks expectantly in the direction of the mighty Dogscoff.

[Power Man]

Sorry Kamog RD has shown us a few post ago that ON—er That word still has power in this new cantina.

No sooner than Kamog utters “that word” a small toon type black hole appears over his head.

A large pile of Onions rains down on Kamog.
Fortunately the toon parasol protects Kamog from the worst of the fall.

Kamaog, who was very hungy, proceeds to eat his way out from the pile.
Now he is finally full.
Although watch out for his BAD BREATH !!!!

Power Man offers Kamog a breath mint and invites him into the card room for some cards.

[Power Man]

Wow Kamog got zapped by two people at one.
Double the ON----s Double the FUN !!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

would the room he fell in be the one i hid rotting O----s in?

[Growltigger]

A sudden hush echoes around the temprary cantina, the ground starts to shake, the air seems to crackle with electrical discharges.

An incandescent ball of light appears on the ceiling of the temporary cantina, lightning arcs out of the ball and earths on the cantina fittings, and on one particular helpless occassion, Taz's head...

Amid the caterwauling from the singed Tasmanian devil, the ball of fire suddenly expands like a nova, suddenly, a British red BT phone box drops out of the fire onto the cantina floor.

The ball of fire disappears, and the cantina is quiet save for the occassional crackle of electricity dissapating...

The BT phone box door opens.... an ethereal gospel choir kicks in with a ramped up Version of Mark Morrison's "Return of the Mack", except that in this Version, they appear to be singing "Return of the Cat"....

Growltigga, clad all in leather, steps out of the phone box. Two FBW's, clad in chain mail accessories and wearing about as much material as would cover a small saucepan lid, roll out a red carpet.

GT strides purposefully down the red carpet, which ends at the bar. The still smouldering Taz serves up his favourite "Spitfire" beer.

The great kat takes a healthy slug, looks around the temporary cantina, and sees that things are good.

The cat is back

[dogscoff]

Well, now that we are fully crewed, I suggest we take this Cantina for a spin. Someone cleverly outfitted it with engines, remember? I'm sure that mad stellar manipulation ship I sent out has created some "interesting" things for us to explore by now.

*dogscoff pushes a button, and treknical-looking consoles appear out of every table. Repetitive, quasi futuristic bleeps and pings sound through the room, and a huge viewscreen slides out to cover the wall opposite the bar.

Taz, standing behind the bar, dons a purple Whoopee Goldberg outfit complete with big purple hat, a FBW sticks a gherkin in her ear and sits down to look like Uhuru while everyone else stands/ sits Trek-like at their Posts looking intensely toward the view screen, which displays the newly-formed universe outside.

'scoff takes the "number 1" seat at a table next to 'Tig, who sits in the command chair, crossing his legs and looking pensive/ dramatic. A red-shirt ensign walks in and hands Captain 'Tig a pad to sign and a fresh pint, then collects some empty glasses before leaving the bridge.

"Right" says 'Tig "who fancies a bit of boldly going?" Everyone nods their approval.
"Very well: Engage!"

The Cantina streaks off into the proto-universe, who knows what adventures lie ahead?

[ April 29, 2003, 12:01: Message edited by: dogscoff ]