Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Raging Deadstar]

The Scene: The Grand dark halls of the Palace of Deadstar!

*The grand opaque black metal carvings and walls streach up into the void of darkness above him. Purple strip lights light little areas of these walls and grand carvings excavate into the floor. Hidden by a black robe sits the leader of the Deadstar Continuum, The godess. Her bright red hair gently falls from beneath the hood which hides her beautiful features. Her fishnet clad crossed legs poke from underneath the robe. A servent walks in, a clone of the Ex Kittie Bassist Talena Atfield and serves her a drink. Senator Deadstar nervously stands before her as she sips the beverage and relaxes into her throne.
"So what is the Status of the Continuum?" She asks, her voice sending a shiver up Raging Deadstars spine.
"My godess, We have encountered a New Race, apparently called the Galactic Federation. The only contact with these comes through a narcistic, trigger happy Captain called Jean Luc Le Grand Chat, our probe droid is currently on board and has reported he has a weakness for dancing sheep. We have allied ourselves with the true power of Fart Point, a wise man called Mac. With your approval the destruction of the TSSS Phongs Head is immenent!" The Goddess smiled underneath her hood, her manipulative mind quickly formutlating a plan.
"No, i suggest we monitor these beings a while longer, but they must not discover our Niridum Radioactive Extractors and the Brewery, they are vital to the next few stages of our expansion! No i suggest you keep a cloaked fleet of 3 Anathema's ready to intercept and destroy the ship but firstly capture and interrorgate a crew member, we need to learn more about this enemy!" Senator Deadstar nods and turns to leave the room knowing what rewards laid in wait of him if he were to suceed. He quickly orders the droid to capture one of the crew on board...*]

*On Board the Phongs Head the Probe droid is still under the hologram disguise of the ensign, he is currently sharing the lift with a science officer known as S'Katchoo. The hologram pushes the stop button and the lift shudders. The vulcan complains but the hologram disappears and the probe droid activates it's sonic disrupter by playing N*sync (or N*Suck) at high level volume. The Vulcan S'Katchoo falls to his knees and is administered a drug and the droid begins the process of interrorgating the crippled vulcan. It activates it's Electric Taser, it's chemical poisoning device and it's large trout and begins salpping the vulcan across the cheeks constantly*

"Firstly my Vulcan Friend, what are you doing at Fart Point?... And why is your eyebrow taped up?"

[Katchoo]

Science Officer S'Katchoo's head recoils from left to right as he continously gets slapped in the face with the trout.

*slap*slap*slap*

Droid: "What are you doing at Fart Point?"

*slap*slap*slap*

Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. must .. hold out ..."

*slap*slap*slap*

Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. fish .... tenderising face .."

*slap*slap*slap*

Mr. S'Katchoo: "... loosing self ... control .... getting .. aroused ....."

*slap*slap*slap*

An odd smile comes over Mr. S'Katchoo's face as his willpower (and panties) break.

Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. must seek .......... ale ... go bodly ........ cantina ......... before ...... shama-lama-ding-dong ..."

*slap*slap*slap*

Mr S'Katchoo: ".. slap it .... like you want it .... heeeeeeeeere fishy fishy fishy ..."

*slap*slap*slap*

[Power Man]

Power Man, follows the path back to the Re-Cover Room. Suddenly the tricorder shows several +2 rats between him and the Room.
He does a quick check, No this thing's not back in “Game mode”.
It is really “smelling a rat" out there.
Power Man thinks "I will sneak up on "Those Dirty Rats" and try out the Phaser program."

BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later.
BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later.
BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later.

“STOP that. Quiet!! Oh NO here come the Rats MY WAY !!”

Power Man drop kicks the loud tricorder into the Rats stopping their charge, and also once again “re-Booting” the thing.
He quickly takes out his powerful phase pistol and ZAPS all of the rats. (Wait A Minute.. Do I smell cooking Tribble Wings?)

Power Man grabs the re-booted tricorder, enters the Re-cover Room and shuts the door behind him. He wakes up the two red shirts (who’s faces are finally back to normal). But he can’t seem to get a response from Gryphin. “I guess the “Old Bird” can’t hold his booze like the rest of us.

“Power Man to the Great, Powerful , etc. etc. etc., Captain Growltigga I have made it back to the Team. It appears that Taz has gone off “In Search Of” our Ale and that huge bar. Both seem to have disappeared.

Captain, I am going to take the team and do a through search of every nook and Crack of Fart Point.
We will explore the “dark and smelly” parts of Anus IV.
I hope to “Get to the Bottom of Things” and find out what trouble is “Brewing” around here.

Captain, Captain ?? Please respond. Captain ? …..”

“Oh Great. First Number 1 disappears and now the Captain goes “Postal-less”

Power Man has the two red shirts carry Gryphin (who is a light as a feather).
The team starts Treking deep into the Guts of Fart Point.

(growltigger, You haven’t posted in a bit What has happened to you?? Sheep get your tongue ??)

[Raging Deadstar]

*Senator Deadstar looks around in his control room as he watches Science Officer S'Katchoo get extremely aroused by getting fish slapped over and over again. Seeing this he pushes a few buttons and hopes the outcome will work..*

*The Probe droid floats over to the Vulcan and it's huge metal claw shoots out and impales S'katchoo to the wall by his neck. It then fires a poison dart at him and watches as the fast acting poison takes effect. The probe droid opens a hatch up and pulls out a ballerina's costume which he deposits on the floor. The droid lets go and reactivates it's hologram projector and the hologram ensign smiles as S'Katchoo puts the costume on over his uniform and pirouettes down the corridor before leaping away. Senator Deadstar smiles at the havoc the Vulcan could unleash. A few button presses later and the ensign disappears down the hallway, looking for someone more stable to interrorgate!*

[Gryphin]

Guys, I can't keep up. I just don't have time to make the quality of post I would want to. I'll pop in now and then.

[Taz-in-Space]

25 armored and fleet of foot Britney Spears and Shania Twain Clones immediately set out to capture and bring to bay the oncoming furball.

Seeing the amazons close in, Taz sends Narf back to warn Powerman and the rest of the away team.

As for himself, he figures that this might be a chance to 'get to the bottom of things'.

Taz hides his weapon and stops spinning. Giving friendly hugs all around, he says, "Take Taz to paradise.., err I mean your leader!"

[David E. Gervais]

I, walk into the dimly lit bar and instinctively go to my regular table by the fake window with the fake rain,.. "Taz I'll have a nice cool glass of JD on the rocks, and put it on RD's tab."

..aaaaah, feels good to take a moment to relax. I thought this place was lost, I missed the name change and wondered where all the people went.

Cheers!