Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Kamog · #1 May 17th, 2003, 04:25 AM

Going back into Cargo Bay 2, Kamog notices the T-rex still caught in the bay doors. Uh, oh, I can't close the doors now because that would crush the dinosaur. I know, I'll use the transporter to move him into Cargo Bay 1.

Kamog runs to Cargo Bay 1, clears a large area in the center of the room, and hits some buttons on the transporter control panel. The T-rex disappears from Cargo Bay 2... and a bearded Barry appears in Cargo Bay 1. What? What's going on? I'm sure he didn't have a beard a minute ago... oh, well, whatever.

Kamog goes to 10 Forward to have dinner. ...

There's something different about the waitresses today... why do all the Kylie Clone FBW's have goatees now? Ugh!

Taz-in-Space · #2 May 17th, 2003, 05:21 AM

Posted by Growltigger:

Quote:

Taz, you are the only sensible one on this away team, double check the transporter and let us beam ourselves back to where we belong"

As Taz is about to follow orders he is interrupted by Minger Erax.

Even a Taz has his limits and when M-Erax turns away to sip his hot chocolate; Taz breaks out his trusty gyroscope-equipped titanium-coated baseball bat and whacks M-Erax with it!

Satisfied that M-Erax will be counting stars for some time to come, Taz proceeds to fix the #%&*! transporter.
First that desktop theme has got to go. Taz considers using the bat once again, but settles for resetting the system to win-doze standard...
...Some time later Taz reports to the captain that the transporter is ready to go. (And Taz MORE than ready to go...)

Oh, and I have set remote beam-out for Power Man who reported to your ready room (as ordered) instead of meeting you here!

narf poit chez BOOM · #3 May 17th, 2003, 06:20 AM

must use better knockout gas next time.

Kamog · #4 May 17th, 2003, 08:22 AM

In 10 Forward, Kamog sits down and orders a pizza. When the Kylie Clone FBW comes around to his table... "Hmm, that beard can't be real", Kamog thinks to himself. He reaches out and tugs on FBW's goatee. It doesn't come off. The angry FBW spins around and swiftly lands a devastating karate kick on Kamog's stomach, and Kamog is thrown clear across the room, hitting a brick wall (which is there for some reason). Pieces of brick go flying in all directions, and as Kamog crumples to the floor, a nice crater-like imprint is left on the wall.

...The badly bruised Kamog slowly gets up and limps away to sick bay. Ow ow ow, I hope I haven't broken any bones...

Taz-in-Space · #5 May 19th, 2003, 05:28 AM

...Time in this Minger dimension must be variable. It seems like over two days has gone by since I FIXED THE TRANSPORTER...

[ May 19, 2003, 04:29: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

Growltigger · #6 May 20th, 2003, 01:02 AM

Commander Taz/Guinan, thank you for mending the transporter, please energise....

The away team appear in the transporter room of the TSSS Phong's Head. It is a relief (I can tell you) to see the transporter operator not wearing a minging ginger goatee beard

The heroic Captain Growltigga takes the turbolift to the bridge... the doors open. The Captain evaluates the situation and whips out his phaser, horribly aware that whilst he and his brave colleagues have escaped from the USS Ginger Minger, unfortunately, the ginger bearded weirdoes transported onto the Phong's Head have not been returned to their own dimension...

Phasers to stun, let's kick some ginger backside

Raging Deadstar · #7 May 19th, 2003, 08:10 PM

*Captain Leyasu quickly looks around his attractive crew, stopping at the wepaons officer who he finds extremely attractive. He suddenly snaps out of the trance and watches as the Real Jean Luc Le grand Chat bursts onto the bridge with his crew and begins a full phaser fight. Mnay of the red shirt ensigns take sides with the captain they believe is true. (Well think about it, GT has orange fur! A ginger beard won't show up to well, so it's mainly the short sighted ensigns, though they probably have better aim than your average red shirt)
Leyasu notices the end is coming and Jean Luc le Grand Chat commanding someone to fire the Torpedoes! Leyasu quickly orders the ships to retreat leaving the battle harden woemn upset and the ones who want to live a couple of days more pleased. The five anathema battlecruisers quickly cloak and disappear leaving behind them a couple of mines equipped with giant explosive boxing gloves as a leaving present as they hit warp 5 and bLast off towards the borders of Deadstar space!*