Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Erax · #1 June 16th, 2003, 03:45 PM

The Captain, Scoff and Taz limp along the underground corridor and join Erax and Kamog in the medical lab, where the two are questioning the girl.

"For the Last time... how did you remove Mr. S'Katchoo's brain ?"

"I don't know any Mr. Scotchoo ! Let me go !"

"Very well... Lieutenant Kamog, what are the ways in which a warp engine can be jump-started ?"

"Well, you can reroute the warp core distributor negative power coupling to the secondary dilithium array outlet, but first you have to disable the safety override by sending a signal through the lateral nacelle adjustment circuit, so that the computer will think the drive is on. Then you..."

The girl begins to go slack-eyed at this relentless stream of Trek technobabble and her head slumps forward.

"Ah, hello, Cap'n. We were using our interrogation techniques on this prisoner. You will find that she will now answer any of our questions."

[ June 16, 2003, 14:51: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ]

Power Man · #2 June 16th, 2003, 04:25 PM

Power Man beams just the beauteous creatures into the brig. He leaves behind all of their wepons and most of their costums. The brig is filled with a special blend of docility gas and Spanish Fly. This should make them Really Ready for the Captain's "questioning session."

The good Doctor has Mr. S'Katchoo ready to go. On Mr. S'Katchoo's head is a pretty little hat with lots of little blinking lights. The doctor has an old TV/VCR remote that he can use to tell Mr. S'Katchoo's body to go forward, rewind-er Back and a special everything else button.

Power Man beams the Doctor and Mr. S'Katchoo's body down to the away team.

"Good luck finding and replacing Mr. S'Katchoo's brain Guys"

"Captain, I would like to report that the SSS (Ship Surface Scan) has found "Nothing Un-Expected". I am starting a SSSS (Sub Surface Ship Scan).

Growltigger · #3 June 16th, 2003, 05:14 PM

The Captain finds himself nodding off after Kamog and Erax's bLast of Trekkie technobabble..

Bugger, they will be learning klingon next and translating the barsnacks menu into it - what is tribble wings in klingon anyhow?

The brave captain looks up as Dr Geo (who has been awfully quiet recently) and the body of Mr S'Katchoo beam in..

Right young lady, answer me this. Why have you stolen Mr S'Katchoo's brain? how did you do it? and do you on a first date?

Kamog · #4 June 17th, 2003, 06:45 AM

The girl starts mumbling answers to the Captain's questions, her eyes still closed.

"We stole the brain to be our Controller... the Controller circulates our air ... keeps the city warm ... makes the lights work ... purifies our water ... this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years."

"We used the trilaser connector and sonic separator to remove the brain... we learned how to do the surgery by using 'Teacher'..." (She vaguely gestures towards the metal helmet-type device.)

"And of course I do, on a first date! And on every date!

"

Growltigger · #5 June 17th, 2003, 09:27 AM

Right, that's just what I like to hear. Mr Kamog and Mr Erax, as our resident engineering geniuses, please build a new controller for these poor young ladies. Something that will Last a good few years and make them very friendly (if you get my drift) to us.

Dr Geo, even though you seem to have lost the ability to speak (maybe it was those hillbillies), please assist our intrepid engineering crew in this.

I have a sneaky feeling that we need to do this quikly, as I am sure a klingon battle cruiser will turn up and need a good thrashing.....

and Taz, please will you stop playing with Mr S'Katchoo's controls, breakdancing is so undignified in a science officer

Raging Deadstar · #6 June 17th, 2003, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kamog:
"We stole the brain to be our Controller... the Controller circulates our air ... keeps the city warm ... makes the lights work ... purifies our water ... this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years."

*Senator Deadstar sits back after listening in to the confession of the alien girl, but one thing confuses him. He plays the hologram back really slowly but it still syas what he thought it said!

"this new Controller is strong and powerful - it will run our city for many years"

Isn't this the bumbling, disco loving, dogscoff yearning science officer? Since when did he become strong and powerful???

*Senator Deadstar leans back in his chair and sips his drink*

Too bad that my fleet with a planet destroyer has almost arrived. I doubt even the Phong's Head could get through 3 Deadstar Battlecruisers and stop the Planet Destroyer irradicating Jean Luc Le Grand Chat and his away team!

Growltigger · #7 June 17th, 2003, 12:27 PM

Hmmmm, thinks the great Kat, no wonder that Mr S'Katchoo's brain is great and powerful. It is completely under utilised so is almost as good as new!

I wonder how Mr Kamog and Mr Erax are doing on the new brain...

Thinks to himself, I also wonder if Mr Powerman has finished the weapons and shield upgrades to the TSSS Phong's Head. With these new modifications, we will be a match for anything, even three Deadstar Battlecruisers and a Planet Destroyer! Hell, we could even whip a load more as well