Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[dogscoff]

*Bored by all the hi-techery, dogscoff reflects on just how deeply disappointed he is that he never got to fire his oversized space-marine style weapons at anything but figments of his own imagination.

With 26 Posts left and nothing to do but watch these engineering types fiddle about with their "controllers", he packs his pulse rifle & grenade launcher and decides to go mosquito hunting. Also, a nice stroll might help sort out the funny walk and castrato voice still lingering from that Last little incident.

Anyone care to join me? Who knows what kind of mosquitos they have on this planet.

[ June 17, 2003, 12:10: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

Good idea Dogscoff, all we have had to shoot on this away mission so far is some weird deadstar female monster type thingummywhatsits.... no real competition or challenge.

As the techno-nerds (they would have to be American) are building their engine, and Taz is cleaning his fur, I think I can go and enjoy myself a bit with you Dogscoff with a bit of hunting. Should put a bit of apetite for, ahem, interrogating our lovely lady prisoners later

You never know, I might just recall you smashing the but of your rifle into my "pouch" when I am trying to find something to aim at

[dogscoff]

Excellent. After you, sir.

*dogscoff keeps one eye trained on 'Tig at all times, acutely aware of the fact that he may soon be a target himself.

Suddenly, there is a loud crashing in the undergrowth, and a fully-grown bull mozzie charges forth. It's huge- it has to be at least a quarter of an inch long. It will make a fine trophy.

Wary of the danger such a beast could pose, 'scoff and 'Tig carefully clip armour piercing rounds into their pulse rifles, blissfully unaware of the the 8-ton rabid carnivorous dino-spider sneaking up on them from behind.

[Power Man]

Power Man to Captain:

I have completed the weapon and shield upgrades. By re-routing the phasers trough the main dilithium array unit and adding in a tri-phase modulator to the main energy output I have tripled the yield at only 45.98 % the energy needs.
The shields now are triple redundant and can even use any impacting energy to rebuild themselves.
I have added extra lenses to our "All Seeing Eye" sensors this has greatly increased their "steely gaze". I have boosted your photon torpedo's yield to 274.67 % better than before.
I have also added a few additional surprises that I am just "itching to use".

I have completed the SSSS. "Nothing Un-Expected" to report. Proceeding to "Next Phase".

Oh by the way Captain. Sensors indicate that a "large Multi legged creature" is sneaking up on you from behind.

LOOK OUT !!!

[Taz-in-Space]

Before the Captain and Dogscoff can turn around, they hear rapid gnawing and gulping sounds. As they finish their turn all they see behind them is Taz picking his considerable teeth with a long 'toothpick' resembling a large spider claw.

BUURRRPPPPPP!

"Nothing to see here - I just having little after-action snack to keep up my strength."

"BTW, any idea why Taz is bit tender between his legs?" asks the memory-challenged marsupial.

[ June 17, 2003, 16:40: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ]

[Erax]

Right, that's just what I like to hear. Mr Kamog and Mr Erax, as our resident engineering geniuses, please build a new controller for these poor young ladies. Something that will Last a good few years and make them very friendly (if you get my drift) to us.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n."

Erax thinks to himself, now how am I going to do this. The controller bit is easy, all they need is air, water and heating, we can set that up in a minute. But make the young ladies friendly ? If I knew how to do that I wouldn't have become an engineer !

He looks over at Kamog. No help there, that's for sure. And Dr. Geo seems a little absent today. I guess I'll have to do things my own way.

"Erax to Power Man, I am setting up one of these medical consoles to interface with the Phong's computer, please open up a channel."

He accesses all of the female personalities the ship's computer has on file and tries to find a common denominator that would make them all 'friendly'. Suddenly he sees it !

"Erax to Power Man. Please send us the following equipment..."

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Chief Engineer Erax:
He accesses all of the female personalities the ship's computer has on file and tries to find a common denominator that would make them all 'friendly'. Suddenly he sees it !

Is this computer a bit like an advanced Version of the captains little black book?