(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

narf poit chez BOOM · #1 May 23rd, 2003, 08:13 AM

forgive the people you hate...hate over even short periods of time does way more damage to you than to them. i'm doing that, and i'm alot happier.
besides, if your so annoyed all the time that you occasionally growl at annoying people, that's not good. if i went out more, i might have introduced some suriealty into some peoples lives.

Taera · #2 May 23rd, 2003, 09:22 AM

1 hated person (completely mutual and complete personalities conflict. one thing i dont regret leaving in Israel) since four years ago. i learned that lesson, thanks.

Taera · #3 May 23rd, 2003, 10:13 AM

Q: how to deal with amotivation/'lazyness'?

Erax · #4 May 23rd, 2003, 12:57 PM

Since you mentioned feeling 'down' in the afternoon, it could just be your daily cycle. Sun Tzu wrote something about the army being ready to fight in the morning and useless by nightfall, so it's nothing new.

Regular physical activity will give you an extra 'zip' which Lasts the whole day, even during the down-part of your cycle (that's what's so great about it, you'll feel better even when not exercising).

Improving some aspect of your situation (making some friends, for example) will reduce frustration and help fight depression.

About the girl... you said she is a very social person, but I get the feeling she isn't dating anyone else. When you feel you are ready, you could begin by asking her just that - 'You have so many friends, how come you aren't dating anyone ?' It's a classic line, it gives her a pretty good idea of your intentions but it doesn't commit you to anything, and her answer will help you decide what to do next.

minipol · #5 May 24th, 2003, 01:08 AM

Hmm. That's a tough one. Getting yourself motivated is the clue. And to get yourself motivated you need to know exactly what you like to do. For instance, you like SEIV and what do we see? You spend a lot of time on this forum and you invest time to play the game. So obviously you're not amotivated or lazy because you do stuff but you probably only do stuff that you like. (who doesn't?)

Get some other interests, set some goals. Doesn't matter what. On the other side, it's kind of normal to feel "amotivated/'lazyness" when you're only 17. That's normal. I think nearly everybody went through that fase. Also, i even have that now and then.

And about girls, like you said, you're 17, you've got plenty of time.

Also, you seem like a person that analyzes a lot of stuff that happens around him. If that is the case, try to not over analyze stuff. Can really start to annoy you. I used to do that and even know and then i have to say: "minipol, stop processing those thoughts over and over and over again and DO something about it rather than thinking about it all the time".
It helps. Sometimes i have to use voilence to make my brain listen to me

oleg · #6 May 23rd, 2003, 03:49 PM

Andrey, there should be a large Russian/Ukranian/Jew diaspora in Canada.
You can probably find few people with close mentality.
When I lived as a student in US, I had no problem
finding compatriot students !

Cheers, Oleg.

Ruatha · #7 May 23rd, 2003, 05:13 PM

Ok, a tip from my wife the psychologist

Brainstorm what activities you can see yourself doing instead of sitting home doing nothing (well, almost nothing).
I e going to the cinema, library whatever.
Pick one of these activities that you feel is reasonable to to, then plan when you will do it.
For example, "I'm gonna see matrix reloaded, even if I'm going myself", "I'm gonna do it saturday evening" (preferabbly as soon as possible, for example tomorrow.
If you feel like it then ask someone if they want to accompany you but thats not mandatory.
What is mandatory is to do that thing when it is planned, no matter how tired/unmotivated you are.
Then when you come home you check what it was like. Was it better to go or would it have been better to stay home (Preferably you'll end up with - Better to have gone!). Then plan another activity, and so on.

The important part is to do first and feel later.
I e, "I don't feel like going to the cinema" (Crap!) -> Go to the cinema first and then feel if you felt like going after you've been there.

Post here and say how it goes, if you have to do that the chances of you doing it are bigger (or mail me if you don't wanna post public)

So you can post here (or mail);
Tomorrow, movie Matrix
and then the next day;
Went to Matrix, was fun, Tomorrow going biking with (the girl/friend).

[ May 23, 2003, 16:23: Message edited by: Ruatha ]