(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[tbontob]

Taera, whether you know it or not, you are on the right path.

You took the first step in acknowledging that you have a problem. A lot of people take years to take this step and many avoid it.

You took the second step in not keeping it a secret. That takes an enormous amount of courage. You deserve to pat yourself on the back.

You took the third step of asking for help. This too is courageous since advice comes in so many types and varieties and often there is no easy way to determine the meaningful from the less meaningful to the harmful. As a result you may feel confused and tossed about with all of it.

This may not make a lot of sense now, but in your dispair, you are being blessed.

Something deep in yourself (whether it be God, your inner self, your higher power, etc) is telling you that you need to examine something.

Only you can determine what that something is.

Only you can make the right choices when you discover what that something is.

Your parents have given you a foundation. It may be a good foundation and little work is required or it may require a lot of repair. In some cases the repairs may be so extensive that the original foundation may no longer be recognizable.

Critically examine everything, including what advice may come your way. Some things may not make sense. If they don't, consider throwing it into the back of your mind with the suggestion that the answer will come to you.

Be wary of giving up your right to choose to others. Making a mistake as a result of free choice is often preferable to making the right decision based on what someone has told you to do. Often the choices we make are the right choices for us. But even if a wrong choice is made, we can still learn from the mistake.

[tesco samoa]

You could always take a few months and work on a cruise ship.

[Ruatha]

Originally posted by Taera:
im thinking. im yet to figure out a way for myself.

According to a proffesional standing close to me.. You are hitting the right point here.
It's actually you who have to :

a. Define the problem, what it actually is.
-Is it that you have no motivation, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid to be alone, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid of rejection, then why?
-Is it that you don't want to assert yourself (please disease)?
etc...

b, Find a solution.
- What can you do to oppose your problem?
- What is feasible, what do you think is reasonable achivable?

c. Set goals, take it step by step but set goals and ACHIVE them.
-If you set a goal, for example; ask the first person on the classlist today what he/she is going to do this weekend and if possible ask if I can tag along, if not next day ask next person on class list... I'll start this tomorrow!
Then do it.
Then asses it, did it give anything positive? Did it improve my mood? Should I do it again?

(This is my interpretation of what my wife has said while cooking as I was talking to her then, I might have misunderstood something or misinterpreted but I belive in what I've written anyway).

Good luck in solving this yourself (I don't mean to be mean, but YOU are the only one who can help yourself, even if it is asking others for help. Then it is you who are doing something, i e asking for help.
But you need to define the problem better first before you can solve it.)

[ May 27, 2003, 23:07: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

[Taera]

Dogscoff: LOL, i think CALM is about the same thing for us Canadians here as SFA is. boring as hell, too.

Loser and TerranC, i view nicotine, alcohol, caffeine and worse things as easy answers with a possible bad outcome. I have never smoked, never drank too much, never wanted to touch any drugs at all. i know its not what you're getting at but its one of the few things i've set for myself, i will not be using anything to help myself if it is of stim type or to build courage or to get away from troubles. While i might be missing some experiences this has built some good qualities in me.

tbontop: thanks, and you can not worry there - im rarely taking advice as granted, im soaking ideas and advices and after processing them i use those that are good.
as for the right path, to be frank, this is the first time i have stumbled upon something too strong for me to simply overcome. i have identified the path for myself several years ago and somewhat effectively dealed with lesser problems. advice helps though.

tesco: wont help, i dont have the time for it. now its school, on summer it'll be work (i want to get some money for myself) and summer school. then its university. but a good idea

Ruatha: i have given a very throughout thinking for the problems and their causes. i have found many causes all along my lifetime. i dont know did it help me, but i know where things have come from. I am having a problem though with defining exactly what the solution is, and the biggest problem of all is achieving my goals. its another problem im trying to overcome.

[ May 28, 2003, 02:54: Message edited by: Taera ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

i'm going to give some faith based advice skip if you will be offended.

pray, to our heavenly father, thank HIM for all you have first, say what you want, what you feel, what you need. say what you feel you should say, and then thank HIM for HIS help and answers. end, as it says in the bible, in the name of JESUS CHRIST, amen. then, wait and have faith for an answer. and pray persistantly, to show your faith.

now that i've made all the athiests uncomfortable, i gotta go. my craft dinner's getting cold.
that should clear it up, fyron

[ May 28, 2003, 08:41: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Fyron]

Why do you assume that atheists would be uncomfortable? Most atheists I have ever met or heard of were tolerant of other people's beliefs. It is generally the extremely religious that are the intolerant ones (except for those few extremely anti-religious, but they are just as bad as the extremely religious).

[narf poit chez BOOM]

or, if it doesn't(look at my Last post, i edited it), i don't think that. but, i know i at least, am a little uncomfortable with strong shows of emotion. i think you rate uncomfortable higher than i do. i would rate it from a minor irritant to miner annoying. but lets not start that again.

[ May 28, 2003, 09:13: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]