Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

[Wardad]

No BEERRRRR????

That makes me made enough to flog Britney Spears with a sumer sausage.

It is at http://wegotcards.com/create.cgi?cardid=20212

[Erax]

While everyone is entertained whacking Mrs. Spears with a sausage, Erax zaps Sid, who does not pass out but lets him go. He crawls behind the bar, presses a hidden button and vanishes down a trapdoor.

Once inside, he grabs a pair of bolt cutters and frees himself from Bugz, then runs far away from the devil bunny and sets up some more defenses.

[Growltigger]

Erax, you can run but you can't hide.

And this is a real sign that the cantina is dead and buried and has shuffled off this mortal coil.

In the old cantina, if Britney Spears turned up, the clientele would not have repeatedly hit her over the head with a sausage. What they would have done might well have involved sausages, but certainly not in the "assualting craniums" use!

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff swaggers up to the cantina, tanned and fat after two delightful weeks in Sri Lanka. He's eager to celebrate his recent wedding by buying a round or Arrak for everyone, getting thoroughly drunk and then and performing a traditional Sri Lankan wedding dance on 'Tigga's head (while wearing somewhat less than traditional pair of football boots.)

The place deserted. A "closed for business" sign adorns the door. Dogscoff's face drops. His beerbelly droops dejectedly.

Alone and fighting back the tears, he stumbles off to the nearest off-license, buys two bottles of the cheapest available vodka and heads for the beach. As darkness falls, he uses one bottle of vodka to get a decent driftwood-fire going and the other to salute the memory of a most illustrious establishment. Ghostly images of amiable mayhem flicker in the flames...

[Rollo]

In a corner of the cantina that was once called the Royal Booth a tattered Viking crawls from under the table, followed by a Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz clone.
"Hmm, did I miss something?", Rollo ask himself as he watches the tumbleweeds rolling by. "Umm, and yeah girls, my middle name is really Charly...".
Grabbing a keg of mead from his personal storage under each arm the thirsty Viking leaves the cantina. He spots a fire off the distance.
"Okay ladies, let's head for the beach."

[Growltigger]

The fire flickers on the sand. Dogscoff and Rollo sit staring out to sea, sipping their vodka and mead occassionally and generally looking narked off.

Growltigga walks up and sits down next to them. The occassional bang and crash from the cantina indicate that Erax is frantically building barricades against the marauding businessmen.

You know chaps, says the great if destitute cat, how far down in the basement do you think Erax will get before he realises that the cantina is actually built on top of a large hive of "Aliens" (a la the movie of the same name). I have only been feeding them diet yoghurt for the Last couple of months and they must now be absolutely starving. I wonder if they need some tortilla wraps with their Brazilian hors deuve?

[Growltigger]

[quote]Originally posted by dogscoff:
[QB] *Dogscoff swaggers up to the cantina, tanned and fat after two delightful weeks in Sri Lanka.

You spawny get, I havn't had a holiday since September and am really feeling it. Sri Lanka? where were you? I thought it a rather lovely place indeed when I went there back in 1997

He's eager to celebrate his recent wedding by buying a round or Arrak for everyone, getting thoroughly drunk

Congratulations, I had no idea that your young lady (assuming that it is a young lady) had had the poor sense to agree to marry you I assume you caught in a moment of weakness, such as when she was shopping for shoes or something. We need some getting thoroughly drunk round here. As you can see the cantina has died a death!

and then and performing a traditional Sri Lankan wedding dance on 'Tigga's head (while wearing somewhat less than traditional pair of football boots.)

As a mark of respect for the new Mrs Dogscoff, I will not remove your happy sacks for that remark, nor will I employ Erax's freshly roasted red hot poker in its traditional fashion!