The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

[Slynky]

Ahhh, just as I thought, Lord P, our highly reliable X-10 cameras must have gone on the fritz and missed that footage you showed... .

And yes, it WAS a good story. But it's a bit unbelievable, on the verge of lies I must add. As you can see by more stolen footage:

- FI: A Last thought to end this "Three questions to..." article? (It would indeed by the fourth question, as we cannot abide by the laws of logic after all)
- NE: If you would be so kind as in letting me finish my sentences once in a while, I might had something else. Don't you notice that Mark has returned at a very convenient moment? As soon as the previous game came to an end, he made his proposal and Slynky gave his agreement as quickly as possible.

Damnit, I've been found out already!

You're right of course. "Mark the Merciful" was just a fake identity put together by Slynky in order to sleaze his way up the ladder in the KOTH tournament. But the Last laugh was on him, because even though he was playing against himself, he accidentally won with the wrong empire and had to quickly kill off that identity in order to save himself from future embarasment.

And now? Well who's writing this, if it's not Slynky, and why is it in the third person? The answer is of course that I am Slynky, it's just that I've forgotten to take my medication for the Last couple of days and I'm feeling a bit comfused. Nurse!

[Slynky]

No. I'm Slynky!

[Joachim]

Originally posted by Slynky:
No. I'm Slynky!

No, he's Slynky (gesticulates wildly over there)

[Alneyan]

Why, you have my word as a fiendish Dark Elf that I merely spoke the truth Slynky, and used the best unbiased information I could find. As if spies would actually tamper with deceit!

My browser still censures your pictures Slynky, so I will deny having seen it, which will spare me some embarrassment. Therefore, I shall make no formal comment on this perfidy, and will instead gently ask Slynky to put his head on a silver plater if he doesn't want to face the fate Primitive has depicted a few Posts ago. But why do I have the nagging feeling this meagre request will not exactly be enough, and will only succeed in provoking laughter?

[Slynky]

Tsk, tsk...

You guys should finish your discussions about the fastest way to get the Talisman and upload your empire files...

[Alneyan]

The Byzantine Conspiracy: A Unique Hindsight Regarding the Grudge-Match of Doom, and the Various Crafty Schemes Used Therein.

Diary enter number 1: first turn.

Dear diary,
Since diplomacy can be such a wondrous tool, the following Messages were sent this turn to all my "friends":
- To Primitive: Truth be told, I reckon you to be able to do an outstanding job at handling this small matter. Therefore, I shall entrust you with the full command of both our Empires, your Lordship, for I shall attend a three-month long educational course on "Pedicure and Proper Health Care of Scales" at the other side of the galaxy. You approved of this initiative, given the benefits for your person, my Liege.

With all due respect,
Your but humble servant, Alneyan.

- To Slynky: When all is said and done, I cannot help but wondering at what your ally can do. I had half a mind to challenge him to beat Primitive the Undaunted, while neither your Empire nor mine would interfere. We are friends after all, so why should we lock sabres over such a trifling matter as a few grudges? Therefore, my proposal shall be as follow: we are to make a strategical withdrawal to a place of interest (such as the Tattoos thread), while Primitive and Mark fights it out.

I am looking forward to hearing from you,
Your friend, Alneyan.

- To the attention of the Earl Mark of (Somewhere in England, a place to your liking)
It is my hope that the present missive will find out in good health. Alas, I do not bear good tidings for your ears. Indeed, your ally has been having a dubious demeanour of late, as he made an opening hinting at betrayal. I do believe he is secretly supporting Primitive even while he pledged you his support. Thus he aims at grasping power for himself, as he is wont to do, another kingmaker if you will. I urge you to remain wary of his actions, lest he should betray you and give you over to your foe, the Usurpator Primitive.

With my best wishes for the future,
Your trusted councillor, Alneyan.

- To myself: I ought to keep Primitive under check, as he may very well attempt to cross me, his closest ally in this hour of dire need. Therefore, I shall keep a taskforce ready to remove him from power if needed be. Better safe than sorry, as the saying goes, and you want to remain very cautious with such a partner.

- To my second self: My first self is not to be trusted any more with my secrets. I shall terminate this identity at the earliest convenience, or otherwise I might betray myself. "Paranoia at its finest" is the motto of the Ilythiiri Hegemony after all, and I shall live up to this standard of trust, sincerity and nobility.