Newbie Slug Fest - Mose Hansen game - ENDED

[PashaDawg]

The game seems to be working again, and I have taken my turns. (It's always fun to be the Last person to go every so often, because you get to play two turns in a row... yeeehaw!!)

[PashaDawg]

Good shock & awe tactics, Panther. Can you keep it up? "Is that all you got?" <hopping from side to side with my dukes up...>

[deccan]

I'm having connection problems again. Tried many, many times.

[The Panther]

Same here. I restarted the game and it seemed to clear up once again...

[deccan]

Yep, works now. Thanks Panther.

[deccan]

Ermor has broken Mictlan's siege of its capital. Jotunheim has lain siege on Caelum's capital and Abysia decides that Pythium's newly Acashicked provinces are too tasty to pass up. Meanwhile, Machaka prowls around looking for easy targets of opportunity...

[The Panther]

PashaDawg said:
Good shock & awe tactics, Panther. Can you keep it up? "Is that all you got?" <hopping from side to side with my dukes up...>

The president of the University of Caelum showed up unannounced in the chambers of his highness.

"Oh noble invisible one!"
"Yeah, what do you want this time?"
"Uh, well, sir, we are trying to understand this odd message from Grasbahl, sir."
"And?"
"And we think we have it!"
"Well, it's about time. My tax money is disappearing from paying all you idiots. I ought to get something for that hard cash. So spit it out."
"Well, sir, we have decided that Grashbahl is drunk!"
"DRUNK???"
"Yup. He is making absolutely no sense. And his army is wandering aimlessly about in our territory. First west. Then south. Then north. Now east. Who knows where he is going next???"
"So, this means he is drunk?"
"Yes sir."
"How do you figure that?"
"Ah, it was my own daughter who found it!"
"Found what, you idiot?"
"It's a little known mathematical formula called a drunken walk! Grasbahl's actions match the formula almost exactly! I told you that sending my daughter to college for a useful degree like engineering was going to work out great!"
"Well, at least this means we can predict where he is going next, right?"
"Um, not exactly."
"What??? Just plug that idiotic drunken Grasbahl into the equation and tell me."
"We did that sir."
"And???"
"And each direction is equally likely."
"I see... So what good is this then?"
"It advances our knowledge base, sir."
"But I am paying your university for USEFUL knowledge. Like Ghost Riders. Or Niefel Flames. Something I can actually use, darn your hide! My provinces are revolting from all the unrest due to the tax money I am sinking into your bottomless pit. And you give me this? The drunken walk??? Get out of my sight!"
"Yes sir." And the old man shuffled out of the sacred chamber at once.

[PashaDawg]

Yes, yes.... what IS Machaka up to?

And, it surprises me that the Ghost King's minions know so little of the structure of the Ulm Government. Everyone knows that His Highly Esteemed Corpulence, Graham Grassbahl, has nothing to do with the operations of the Ulm military. He is primarily a liaison between His Most Esteemed Highness, PASHA, the Black Iron Lord of Ulm, and the greater Ulm public. He is also a major player in Ulm diplomacy, culinary criticism, and the keeping of the Imperial Poodle Ponies. Perhaps, if the Ghost King spent less of his budget on his fat propaganda machine and more on basic espionage, he would have known this by now. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I can tell that ULM has already won this war. It's just a matter of time. Hmmmm... perhaps, we should just skip to the part where CAELUM pays substantial reparations to Arco, Jotunheim and Ulm. Hmmmm?

Edit (by His Highly Esteemed Corpulence): “Here! Here! Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Simplicity itself!” <Burp>

[Steerpike]

Here, here, PASHA Black Iron Lord of Ulm I second your call for substantial reparations. Garuda the four armed Blue light of Arco is just on his way back from the netherworld and suggests that IF Caelum capitulates immediately he may show a little mercy.
I have learned all the lessons I need from Caelum and will attempt to give some in return.
Perhaps if the winged fiends of Caelum wernt so agressive this unfortunate war may have been avoided and we all could have wandered the fields and meadows of our lands singing songs of praise for our pretenders. A dream cruelly cut short by CAELUM the black Panther.

[DragonFire11]

Ah, wouldn't be so nice to see the world and know what other nations are doing. Perhaps launch a vicious compulsory freedom mission from time to time. But nooo. I have to sit behind my crusty old castle getting pounded by the Pickled Armies. No world domination for this Lord Master emerging Head Dead Honcho desired Chief favoring Commander yet Boss erstwhile Chieftain truculent Cock (in the old sense of the word please!) nascent Dominator hopeful Head anticipative Headman auspicious Hierarch who has little to do than think up job titles.