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  #1  
Old August 31st, 2007, 12:12 PM
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Default Re: Proclamation of Server Inaccessibility

Pics or it's not true.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 01:07 PM
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Tuidjy Tuidjy is offline
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Default The vampires twist the Truth again

Of course it is not true. Yes, another of Ulm's fallen heroes has returned from
the dead to continue battling evil in all its guises. He is not the first holy
undead whose duty is stronger than the chains of Tartarus. Our elven allies have
seen a storm hero closing the ring around Jomon's capital.

But it is not poor villagers that are being killed. It's brainwashed vampire
collaborators, the members of the militia that allows the bloodsucking monsters
to maintain their control over the peasantry. Ulm has liberated a dozen
provinces. With almost no exception, the population has been taxed nearly to
extinction. The unrest levels are usually at least twice higher than necessary
to forbid any kind of productive activity in the province. Once Ulm assumes
control, the taxes are waived until law and order is restored. The same is true
for the provinces freed from the cat demons' yoke.

The above is representative of Ulm's ideology. Abominations are dealt with,
efficiently and without mercy, innocents are protected, treated with honour and
kindness, and welcomed to the faithful of Lady Elena.

And of course, the rest of the vampires proclamation is pure nonsense as well.
The wind of leprosy does not kill anyone. It will disease those who oppose
liberating armies, but their lives are forfeit anyway. Even into unlife, the
heroes of Ulm know their duty. No innocent is ever exposed to the horrible wind,
and the local population is safe.

As for his equipment, I am sure that it looks mighty and powerful to backward
vampires who know nothing beyond preying on peasants and hiding from the Light.
But the truth is, Ulm has been able to forge these magical items since the
first year after the Civil War. No artifacts or even very powerful magical
items have been carried by our men into battle.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 01:36 PM

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Default Re: The vampires twist the Truth again

What would an Ulmish hero be doing in tartarus with ancient imprisoned titans, monsters and the like? Ulm wasn't even founded when they were thrown into Tartarus.

This all sounds like death magic to me. So are Ulm harvesting gems from corpses now?
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Old August 31st, 2007, 02:53 PM

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Default Re: The vampires twist the Truth again

Be careful, Sombre. Such talk will get you declared an abomination etc. etc.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 03:02 PM

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Default Re: The vampires twist the Truth again

It's too late, he's already declared Vaettiheim an abomination.

Other abominations recently declared include: toast, wednesdays, touching your teeth with your tongue, being surprised, the angle at which a pig's tail curls, frosted glass, red and green, lampshades, thick milkshake straws, stationary featuring characters from Peanuts, cliches in westerns, squares and apricots.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 03:27 PM
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Default Re: The vampires twist the Truth again

Also: Misspelling stationery.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 04:24 PM

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Default Re: The vampires twist the Truth again

Maybe I meant 'featuring characters from Peanuts' that do not move :]

Three word posts are now an abomination unto Sombrelina.
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