Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread

Baron Munchausen · #1 March 7th, 2003, 03:29 AM

Nice as it is, but incongrous. The story is already a bit fragmented by the leaping between narrators, but this is out of place after the arrival on the Marilyn has already been described, and we were left with the cliff-hanger of an obvious attack. Move this to chapter 16 or something?

[ March 07, 2003, 01:31: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ]

dogscoff · #2 March 7th, 2003, 10:47 AM

Baron, thanks. I wasn't sure if I should do it like this. I've been (more or less) alternating the narrators for about 8 chapters now, with Cane fraternising on board the Marilyn and Othaglot 3 or 4 weeks behind him on the colony, revealing pertinent infomation about the killer.

From now on (because they are now in the same place, obviously) the story will proceed more or less chronologically, and there won't be any more narrator-swapping for a long time.

I have 2 problems with putting chapter 19 further back: First, i wanted to hold onto the suspense of Chapter 18's cliffhanger for a bit

, and the second is that it would spoil the surprise of the Endeavour's arrival. That's actually quite important, since the fact that Cane and Singh are interrupted by the boarding is significant, and I think if the reader knew what was going on they wouldn't get swept through that chapter in quite the same way.

What does anyone else think of this? If lots of you agree with Baron M, I'll find a way of pushing it back a few chapters.

Quote:

Two thumbs (tentacles) up

[ March 07, 2003, 08:48: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

mlmbd · #3 March 7th, 2003, 10:25 PM

dogscoff, I agree with the Baron. I love the story, as you know. But it has seemed to be drifting some.

mlmbd

dogscoff · #4 March 8th, 2003, 12:47 AM

Quote:

dogscoff, I agree with the Baron. I love the story, as you know. But it has seemed to be drifting some.

Drifting how? drifting away from the case you mean? drifting some other way?

mlmbd · #5 March 8th, 2003, 01:39 PM

doscoff, with the changing narrative, it seems to drift. There is not a straight line or semi-straight line, to follow. Does that make more sense?

mlmbd

dogscoff · #6 March 8th, 2003, 08:03 PM

Oh yeah, I see what you mean. Most other books/ stories will follow more than one character or storyline at a time. Do you think it doesn't fit the O&C story? I guess most detective stuff tends to stay with the protagonist.

Hmm, i think I need to read more detective stories...

Baron Munchausen · #7 March 8th, 2003, 09:32 PM

It's fine to have several threads in your story. But quit doubling-back in the story line! Chapter 19 would be a good chapter 16, and that would not 'spoil' the surprise. The surprise is in Chapter 15.

But we're left wondering who is attacking the Marilyn and we want answers - not reminisces of the already past story line!

[ March 08, 2003, 19:39: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ]