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				February 8th, 2003, 02:15 AM
			
			
			
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 Lieutenant Colonel |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 DRUG ALERT!!!
 Police warn all clubbers party goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
 
 A new date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs". "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.
 
 Attached Sex
 
 Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply
 ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.
 
 Beer Scam
 
 At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to
 entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage". Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.
 
 Please! Forward this warning to every fellow male you know.
 
 However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support Groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.
 
				__________________So many ugly women, so little beer.
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				February 8th, 2003, 02:25 AM
			
			
			
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 Major |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 Arrrgh !!Now they tell us.  No more beer for me (at least today).
 
				__________________Never trust a cop with rubber gloves.
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				February 8th, 2003, 06:11 AM
			
			
			
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 Lieutenant General |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 Does that really happen?  Women actually approach men and offer them drinks?  Well, if that ever happens to me, I guess I'll only accept if she is pretty.      
I wonder if this trick works the other way...  no, probably not.  Women are smarter than men and they'll probably sense that it's a scam immediately. |  
	
		
	
	
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				February 10th, 2003, 10:18 PM
			
			
			
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 Lieutenant Colonel |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 Subject:Training Courses For Men
 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge.
 
 2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
 
 3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
 
 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
 
 5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference
 
 6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away
 
 7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away
 
 8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
 
 9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
 
 10. Accepting Your Limitations: Haveing Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
 
 11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink.
 
 12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash The Towels!
 
 13. Bathroom Etiquette III: How Tell ou're About to run out of Toilet Paper!
 
 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill
 
 15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970's Polyester Shirts
 
 16. No, Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
 
 17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel
 
 18. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
 
 19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
 
 20. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It
 
 21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
 
 22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
 
 23. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
 
 24. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
 
				__________________So many ugly women, so little beer.
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				February 11th, 2003, 11:03 AM
			
			
			
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 Lieutenant General |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 LOL.      
The training course sounds like a list of annoying chores.  Let's see if we can simplify things to be more efficient.
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge. 
Hire a maid.  If you can't afford a maid, then don't ever step on the floor; it might get dirty!
2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet 
Hire a maid.  If you can't afford a maid, then empty everything from the closet and put it in the garage:  you instantly have a neat, tidy, empty closet!
3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed 
There is no need.  Just don't look under there and we're OK.
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead 
Easy.  If the item cannot be identified, then throw it away.
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference 
You can disguise a splatter stain by creating many similar stains, evenly spaced out in a grid arrangement so that it looks like a pattern.
6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away 
Some containers should be recycled!
7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away 
See #4.
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore! 
There are Online grocery stores where you order stuff on the web and they deliver it to your home.
9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime 
Conveniently, listening can be done while doing other things.
10. Accepting Your Limitations: Haveing Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It 
If you can't fix it, it means you don't have enough power tools; or you don't have big enough power tools.  Or maybe you need some Duct Tape.
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink. 
Beard clippings are composed of organic material and are therefore biodegradable.  They will eventually decompose and disappear on their own.
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash The Towels! 
Are towels supposed to bend?
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: How Tell ou're About to run out of Toilet Paper! 
You are about to run out of toilet paper when you can see the cardboard tube.
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill 
How are you supposed to know how old your clothes are?
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970's Polyester Shirts 
OK, examine the shirts...  (they look like shirts)  Done!  Check off that one off the list.
16. No, Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware 
Solution:  just use paper plates and pLastic cups.  Throw them away after use.
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel 
Huh?
18. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them 
Nobody seems to be around when you're lost.  If you do see someone, they're probably lost too.
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut 
McDonald's, Burger King, Subway ...
20. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It 
See #22.
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote 
Solution: get two TV's
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh 
Why do women laugh?  I don't know. (There, I said it!)
23. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty 
Then you need a new car.
24. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding 
There's job interviews, too.
			
			
			
			
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				February 11th, 2003, 03:22 PM
			
			
			
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 Major |  | 
					Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Western Canada 
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				 Re: Advise 
 
	LOLQuote: 
	
		| Originally posted by Kamog: Does that really happen?  Women actually approach men and offer them drinks?  Well, if that ever happens to me, I guess I'll only accept if she is pretty.
   
 I wonder if this trick works the other way...  no, probably not.  Women are smarter than men and they'll probably sense that it's a scam immediately.
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 Studies have consistently shown that about 80% of the men will accept a proposition from a strange woman to go to bed with them. In contrast it is 0% when the proposer is a male.
 
 In these studies, the proposal is usually made in the daytime and in a benign setting.
 
 I suspect the percentages will be a bit closer when the parties go pubbing as both parties are somewhat mentally prepared for it. Women especially are more likely to go pubbing when they are ovulating and will then give many signs of their preparedness for "the proposal" with much skimpier dresswear, more hair flings, more smiles, more eye contact, more 'inadvertent' touching etc.
 
 In any event, it is quite a contrast, to say the least.
 
				__________________Know thyself.
 
 Inscription at the Delphic Oracle.
 Plutarch Morals
 circa 650 B.C.
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				February 11th, 2003, 03:29 PM
			
			
			
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 Lieutenant Colonel |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 Kamog,
 LOL
 
				__________________So many ugly women, so little beer.
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				February 11th, 2003, 04:06 PM
			
			
			
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 Major |  | 
					Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Irving, TX 
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				 Re: Advise 
 Kamog, Excellent! LOLmlmbd     |  
	
		
	
	
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				February 11th, 2003, 04:18 PM
			
			
			
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 National Security Advisor |  | 
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				 Re: Advise 
 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge. Hire a maid.  If you can't afford a maid, then don't ever step on the floor; it might get dirty!
 If you could afford a maid why would you ever get married?
 
 2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
 Hire a maid.  If you can't afford a maid, then empty everything from the closet and put it in the garage:  you instantly have a neat, tidy, empty closet!
 Better plan. Leave the stuff in the closet and go pretend to work in the garage till she leaves you alone.
 
 3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
 There is no need.  Just don't look under there and we're OK.
 Here's some money honey. Go buy a big enough comforter so that it hangs down to the floor.
 
 5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference
 You can disguise a splatter stain by creating many similar stains, evenly spaced out in a grid arrangement so that it looks like a pattern.
 I don't know art, but I know what I like.
 
 6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away
 Some containers should be recycled!
 7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away
 See #4.
 The trash can is gender blind.
 
 8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
 There are Online grocery stores where you order stuff on the web and they deliver it to your home.
 Statistics show that after work, the supermarket is the leading point where affairs begin in America. But if you really want me to go I will...
 
 9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
 Conveniently, listening can be done while doing other things.
 God gave me two ears and two eyes. Do you really need all four to be wasted doing one thing at a time?
 
 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill
 How are you supposed to know how old your clothes are?
 Since your wife buys all your clothes, she can tell you how old they are. If she didn't buy them they are at least as old as your relationship. Call your mother/ex-wife if you have to know exactly.
 
				__________________I used to be somebody but now I am somebody else
 Who I'll be tomorrow is anybody's guess
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				February 11th, 2003, 06:49 PM
			
			
			
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 General |  | 
					Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Indiana 
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				 Re: Advise 
 LOL!  
Geo, Kamog, those are hilarious additions to the original posting. I was laughing pretty hard at those.   
				__________________ 
				Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread 
------------------- 
I think...therefore I am confused. 
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.  
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to? 
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny! 
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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