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April 22nd, 2003, 05:06 AM
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Lieutenant General
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 2,903
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: Advise
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
>OK, I'll show up to work and spread my sickness to the whole company! 
ABSENCE DUE TO YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
>My replacement will catch my disease, and will die two weeks after me, so he will immediately have to train another replacement for him!
RESTROOM USE:
>No problem. I'll keep a jar in my cubicle so I won't have to leave.
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April 22nd, 2003, 02:49 PM
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Major
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Irving, TX
Posts: 1,237
Thanks: 0
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Re: Advise
OK! You both got me!
mlmbd  
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April 22nd, 2003, 09:15 PM
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Scottsdale AZ
Posts: 1,277
Thanks: 0
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Re: Advise
Only in America...
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America...
are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America...
do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...
do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a "diet" coke.
Only in America...
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
Only in America...
do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America...
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...
do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
__________________
So many ugly women, so little beer.
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April 23rd, 2003, 02:55 PM
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Major
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Irving, TX
Posts: 1,237
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: Advise
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April 23rd, 2003, 05:49 PM
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Colonel
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: B.F.E. USA
Posts: 1,500
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: Advise
I need a copy of the hand book!
__________________
Kill em all let God sort em out
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April 23rd, 2003, 06:40 PM
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Scottsdale AZ
Posts: 1,277
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: Advise
__________________
So many ugly women, so little beer.
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April 23rd, 2003, 10:45 PM
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Private
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Below the Center of the Earth
Posts: 43
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: Advise
__________________
Just Kidding
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