Alexandria - battle for balanced glory [TC wins!]

[quantum_mechani]

DonCorazon said:
TC has Tartarians though we stopped summoning them a while back - who knows what the new patch will do to them

Actually it's very simple, 20% chance any given turn that they will not follow orders, just as insanity (except they can also pillage or reanimate randomly). Naturally this only effects commander tartarians.

[DonCorazon]

Thanks QM. Hope you are enjoying the Alexandria show.

Anyway, I knew it would have some kind of insanity effect but wasn't following the discussion on the specifics. Even though 20% sounds a bit better than I had imagined, I still expect to be investing death gems in more reliable units - having a key unit become uncontrollable when I need him will be too aggravating to warrant the cost.

[Omnirizon]

does the alexandria show have a protagonist and an antagonist? if so who are they?

or is it more farcical?

[DonCorazon]

Ironhawk said:
Where do all the virgins live???

I'd try Marignon, inventors of the chastity belt.

[spacht]

Marignon has already been bled dry, so to speak.

[cleveland]

DonCorazon said:
Should Mictlan read your suggestion of preemptive attack...

We absolutely acknowledge the existence of some variety of longstanding pact between Mictlan & TC, and that an immediate attack would be an unsatisfying anachronism.

However, we know first-hand that the ministers of TC are not fools: they cannot actually expect their good relations with Mictlan to last indefinitely, and as such, are most certainly planning some swift stroke of treachery to secure their eventual victory. The nature of the beast, so to speak.

I must therefore profoundly disagree with the assertion that a sudden, calculated attack by a cunning deity would be, "no better than had Mictlan gone AI." True, the AI would have attacked TC immediately, as it gets its transistors off watching militia be slaughtered; but such an attack would be unthematic, unsuccessful, and fundamentally unlike the clever dispatch of a vulnerable & overly-trusting future-enemy.

Besides, who's to say that Pagobar's old psyche wasn't actively planning such a move? Or that his new, transmigrated psyche may realize it SHOULD have been?

After all, Pangaean spies - at great personal risk - have secured the following document from deep within the bowels of the TC Ministry of Truth:

Tien Chi internal memo: ULTIMATE WAR PLAN said:
When any large operation is undertaken, it is usually a surprise attack against an ally. The plan is, by a combination of fighting, bargaining, and well-timed strokes of treachery, to acquire a ring of bases completely encircling one or other of the rival states, and then to sign a pact of friendship with that rival and remain on peaceful terms for so many years as to lull suspicion to sleep. During this time rockets loaded with atomic bombs can be assembled at all the strategic spots; finally they will all be fired simultaneously, with effects so devastating as to make retaliation impossible. It will then be time to sign a pact of friendship with the remaining world-powers, in preparation for another attack.

[can't believe I was able to find my copy so quickly... ]

[DonCorazon]

Your love of the halfling's leaf has clearly clouded your mind, but buried in your lengthy treatise on strategy, what TC would call Sun Tzu lite, can be found the statement we were looking for:

cleveland said:
an immediate attack would be an unsatisfying anachronism.

As for all the other prattle, we would simply ask all your own allies and neighbors to read it and then promptly attack you for your Freudian slip.

With repsect to the ULTIMATE WAR PLAN, TC has played with many players here and they will know first-hand that this document was clearly a crude Pangean forgery (even without us having to point out the Harpy dung splattered all over its pages or the fact it was scrawled on some spooky undead paper).

In response to this implanted forgery, the TC Ministry of Foreign Affairs has launched an investigation and discovered a number of disturbing facts.

1. Pan has a secret black ops research programs on Manikins. You think you can deal with one 5 HP manikin, wait until you see the Jason Bourne manikin Pan's scientists are working on.

2. Top Pangean scientists investigating how to survive in complete darkness. Hmmm...what could that be for?

3. Preparations for a war with Marignon..rumors are the horde headed toward TC was originally in search of virgins. Rumors are Pan is supplying Marignon's foes with remote damage spells and other forms of assistance, including copies of his Sun Tzu lite strategy manual. Would hate to see war flare up between Marignon and Pan, now...


- TC Ministry of Mostly Truth

[cleveland]

Not to reveal the extensiveness of my extensive spy network, but I must say that I sympathize deeply with Pythium. The autorout/autokill really, REALLY screwed you that turn.

In other news:
Igor Konhelm's Tome & Krupp's Bracers are now up for grabs. The Winter Bringer might also be available, but I suspect it was snatched back up by the cautious Tien Chi horde. If Om the Controller hadn't been so lucky, several more choice items may have also been available...

[Omnirizon]

the Argathan urban planning board has just unanimously OK'd the erection of three grand statues to commemorate the three brave leaders who faced down, and defeated, an entire army of Hydras.

The battlefield was soaked with blood, and a Heat from the Bowels of Hell boiled an air thick of a cocktail of Foul Vapors and magical Mist. The entire Argathan army had routed and was fleeing before the foul stench of an army of Hydra's who were backed by an artillery of Serpent Priests and the King of Elemental Fire himself. Argathan soldiers had dropped like flies, only to resurrected as soulless, and fight on. Argathan commanders too succumbed to the heat and poison, but were given second life of eternal undeath. The Hydras and Pythium's artillery also began to pass out from the unbearable heat and air. When Argathan armies began to rout, the soulless commanders and soldiers did not care, and fought on. Soon both armies, the legions of Hydras and the small handful of Argathan soulless who had remained, were both passed out on the field of battle. Soon even the Argathan soulless soldiers fell before the many-headed Hydras. A mere three Argathan commanders, given everlasting undeath, remained to carry the battle. There names are Nan Bagor, Mistilo, and Zanbarth; do not forget them. All other Argathan soldiers and commanders had fled or been killed. These three, blessed of the grace of the Earthen might of Anfar, would reawaken weakly, with just enough strength to summon a few undead thralls, before passing out again. Two by two the summoned skeletons rattled up to the slumbering Hydras to hack at them with their claws and rusted blades. Eventually the Pythium commanders also succumbed to the heat; but with no undeath to return to, their bodies would only be baked to ashes under the sun. The Pythium armies became confused. "Why do three fragile soulless mage-priests stand before our might and fight on?" They asked themselves. With no leadership, and passing in and out of consciousness, and facing a mere three fragile soulless, the mighty army of Hydras and the King of Elemental Fire fled the battlefield! Nan Bagor reawoken to see them fleeing, and laughed. He laughed a deep frigid laugh, that choked past has dust filled throat and out of his now tongueless mouth; he was now mute, but he laughed anyway. He laughed for he knew that Argathan armies had just captured and secured the escape rout from this province, and that the entire army of Hydras and the King of Elemental Fire now fled to their doom. The fled before three, very brave, very undead, soulless commanders.

The statues will be erected immediately, they are to constructed of the deepest Obsidian, crafted by the finest craftmen, with eyes set of burning rubies, to symbolize the burning hatred in their hearts. A hatred that would not allow them to flee, no matter the odds. They fought on before an overwhelming army that should have smashed them; but they fought bravely and won.

[cleveland]

Omnirizon said:
He laughed for he knew that Argathan armies had just captured and secured the escape rout from this province, and that the entire army of Hydras and the King of Elemental Fire now fled to their doom.

Ah. That somewhat mitigates my comment earlier about the autokill, which claimed about 15 of Pyth's hydras, as they'd have been lost anyway.

But I still really don't like the autokill.

A word of congratulations, however, goes to Agartha. It was a well scripted battle, and certainly an upset. Cheers