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June 3rd, 2004, 11:58 PM
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Sergeant
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 268
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
61. If you actually call the Civil War "The War of Northern Aggression"
62. Your Queen/wife/sister yells from the balcony/porch/tailgate "DON'T YOU BUY NO UGLY FRIGATE NOW YUH HEAR!"
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June 4th, 2004, 01:54 AM
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Brigadier General
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Carlisle, UK
Posts: 1,826
Thanks: 0
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
39. When an Alien race steps foot in your borders you pull together your fleets and send a message simply stating "Get Offa Ma Property Ya Varmint!"
40. If you renamed the DU Cannon to the "Boom Stick "  |
June 4th, 2004, 09:25 AM
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Shrapnel Fanatic
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: USA
Posts: 15,630
Thanks: 0
Thanked 30 Times in 18 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
63. If in family marrage is a law in your empire.
64. If you or any member of your family has ever been on one of the following day time shows; Springer, Ohpra, Dr. Phil, etc
65. If you consider every defeat a victory so long as you got to shoot first.
66. If all the star charts in your space have bullet holes in them.
67. If all your planets still use dirt roads as major artierals.
68. If that shinny new Frigate you just bought is uglier than your wife/sister. 
__________________
Creator of the Star Trek Mod - AST Mod - 78 Ship Sets - Conquest Mod - Atrocities Star Wars Mod - Galaxy Reborn Mod - and Subterfuge Mod.
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June 4th, 2004, 09:48 AM
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Colonel
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,727
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
69. General supplies make sense to you: crew runs on whiskey, engines run on whiskey, guns run on whiskey.
70. Resupply Depot has been renamed The Still.
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June 4th, 2004, 02:09 PM
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,389
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
71. You invade a nearbye star cluster because they called your sister/wife a "dirty ho".
72. Although a planet is 100% safe from enemy attack is located right in the heart of your empire they rebel because they "Dun run clean outta whisky".
73. If when said rebellion is crushed for generations to come your empire refers to this time as "Still Wars".
74. You marry the prettiest woman in the whole empire........and she's your sister.
75. If said wife/sister is the prettiest woman in the whole empire because she actually had two teef and no liver spots.
76. Your first contact with an alien race starts with the line "Well ain't you the dangded ugliest little bugger i've ever dun seen." followed by shotgun bLasts...
__________________
When life gives you lemons take them and squeeze them in life's eye until it gives you the oranges you asked for!
"If men build things to look like our penis such as towers and ships does that mean female achitects represent women having penis envy?"
A line that made me chuckle, I can't remember where I heard it I just know it made me laugh.
"I'm not really a slapper....I mainly punch and gouge."
Tammy Lee my kung fu instructor/sifu's daughter when asked if she ever slapped a boy for saying something nasty to her.
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June 4th, 2004, 05:55 PM
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Sergeant
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 268
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
77. The destroyer U.S.S. Billy Jack can kick your Red Neck Dreadnoughts ***.
78. Your space suit helmets are pointy on the top and have eye holes cut out.
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June 4th, 2004, 06:34 PM
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: DC Burbs USA
Posts: 1,460
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
Quote:
Originally posted by EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro:
77. The destroyer U.S.S. Billy Jack can kick your Red Neck Dreadnoughts ***.
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I think that was about bikers not rednecks. Now if the starship was named Deliverance, then we'd be talken bout dem good ol boys 
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Think about it
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June 4th, 2004, 07:48 PM
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First Lieutenant
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: NJ
Posts: 738
Thanks: 0
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
79.. Your Upgrade Facilities command has a "Double-Wide" option.
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June 4th, 2004, 09:17 PM
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Shrapnel Fanatic
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: USA
Posts: 15,630
Thanks: 0
Thanked 30 Times in 18 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
80. If you have had to put people in jail for breaking the law against having sex with animals.
81. If the suite your waring now is the same suite you were waring Last year and you it has never been washed.
82. If you are given a state of the art, 100% operational, billion dollar communication system and you sell it six weeks later at a planetary garage sale for $200.00 bucks and then use that money to buy an inferior model that is ten years old.
83. If you ripped out the back seat of your ground transport vehical so you can haul live stock.
84. If your palace is also your barn.
85. If you regularly buy and sell crap at the galatic flea market.
86. If you are given a brand new star ship and within six weeks have completely turned it into a POS garbage scow rust bucket. Complete with a foot deep layer of trash in all the corridors because your redneck crew refuse to put their trash in to the trash recepticals.
87. If you have statues of Gomer Pile in all your capitols.
88. If all your radio stations play country music and only country music.
89. If your mothers idea of fresh milk is you going out to the barn, the room next store, and milking the goat.
90. If your father is often seen headin into the Goat pin with a jar of vasoline and an ear to ear grin on his face. "I'm go'in ta gets me summm."
[ June 04, 2004, 20:25: Message edited by: Atrocities ]
__________________
Creator of the Star Trek Mod - AST Mod - 78 Ship Sets - Conquest Mod - Atrocities Star Wars Mod - Galaxy Reborn Mod - and Subterfuge Mod.
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June 4th, 2004, 11:38 PM
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Sergeant
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Parts Unknown, NY
Posts: 295
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Re: You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:
91. Your repair ships use Bondo.....and lots of it!!
92. Every ship has a mascot. Nearly all are good huntin' dogs. Some however, are coons, gators, or a specially stupid Jraenar captured in the Last war.
93. All warships come designed with a gun rack.
94. First encounters: *BANG* "Halt or I'll shoot!!"
95. Ships go three speeds: Fast, Faster and YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
__________________
I'm about to turn it up a notch!!
Where's the ka-boom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering ka-boom!
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