Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.

[Raging Deadstar]

59. Major Displays of your power can be achieved by constructing masses of only the BIGGEST Hulls available to you. Nothing says "Evil Overlord!" like 20 battlemoons hovering over an enemies planet (It also helps that these massive displays of power can fight back! )

60. In the Universe nothing is "Pro Bono" if Empire A sincerely wishes to help you with no strings attached/threats/requests or Star Destroyers hovering in your space then you must either...

a.) Go to bed, "One more turn Syndrome" is bad enough, sleep deprivation making you believe a decleration of war is such a request is entirely another.

b.) Thank them courteously, inform all the other empires that Empire A's enemies (Empire B) intend to betray them all. This will force a pre emptive strike on Empire B allowing you to take the Foolish Empire A intact for your own wicked purposes/desires/fetishes/do we need to say anymore Captain Kirk wannabe???! .

c.) If both of these make no sense you are obviously an ancient evil twisted emperor who rules with an iron fist....BUT builds ships with exposed exhaust ports and suspended walkways with no railings. You have become one with the force and George Luca's bad script writing *shudder*

[ May 26, 2004, 23:33: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[minipol]

61. When first encountering a new alien race, kill first then ask questions later. They must know you mean business (and the whole universe is yours anyway)

[Alneyan]

52: While following a fixed schedule is very fine, I shall not strictly abide by it. Even the best of my plans can be countered, giving my crafty foes the window of opportunity they sought. Likewise, I will strive to remain unpredictable, as information is a powerful weapon to be used against my rule.

53: I will keep in mind not everybody is as perfect as myself. Therefore, I will handle everything happening in my Empire, leaving trifling matters such as the colour of my ships to the care of AIs. Besides, my Councillors will be entrusted with most of my knowledge, although their poor minds does not allow them to grasp all that they learnt. In other words, I will give them wrong information, in case they decided to turn traitor.

54: Likewise, I will not be too open about my secrets when I need to let my allies into my cunning schemes. Instead, I will feed them with partial truths and contradictory statements, allowing me to know if they compared their notes. If it is so, I will know they are too talkative, and will not put any trust in them.

55: I will apply the "Worst Case Scenario" approach to every problem. In the previous example, I would consider that the allies who did not openly react to my bogus information are not trustworthy. Indeed, they did not ask me to clarify my data, and so are not sincere enough and will not report to me anything out of the ordinary. (It could also mean these allies are too honest to share their knowledge with their other partners ; but I have no use for such allies)

56: Despite my obvious qualities, I will not forget I am still prone to having a few weaknesses. If my enemies send the most attractive creature (according to my fetishes/tastes) I have ever seen to act as an envoy, I will exerce caution and will only negociate with him/her/it through old-fashionned text-based communications.

57: I will remember that Murphy's Law applies everywhere in the galaxy, and so will take appropriate measures to lessen its impact. Therefore, I will not put a single Quantum Reactor in my war fleets, for the ship powered by this fabled device will be the first one to be destroyed in a battle. (Or even by a rogue asteroid, or other such hazards)

58: When dealing with my allies, I will remember to follow the basic rules of diplomacy. What I give to them will be as precise as possible, while my own demands should be as vague as you can get. Thus I will grant my partner the right to colonize Solaris III, the Gas Giant orbiting Solaris Major, whose characteristics are as follow:
- Diameter: 142,984 km
- Planetary Mass: 1.89x1027 kg
- Average Distance from the Sun: 5.203 AU
- Atmospheric Composition: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium.
(And so on) In exchange, I will ask to be allowed to colonize a few planets in their systems.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Narf, that should read:
His Supreme Eminence will never refer to himself in the third person. It is a sure sign of psycosis, but anyone who dares to make such accusations will be executed.

Nonsense. They will be retired with a generous pay, due to the difficulty's involved in carrying out their office due to the stress of the job, after a private execution with a viewing audience of those spectater's who witnessed their folly.

[Paul1980au]

Turn off the mega evil empire lol and even when you are huge no one attacks you - its the easiest way to win a game lol

That and make all the advanced racial characterisitcs worth 10 points a piece lol - that way psychic, religious, cyrstaline, temporal and others are all youres at once.

Nothing like a ship armed with psychic crew conVersion, religious device that always htis its target, cyrstaline shields, organic armour, temporal shipyards and tech on ships.

[oleg]

Originally posted by Urendi Maleldil:
... 41. Make a ship set that's entirely black. (That's so evil it's cheating)

True Evil Overlord has a full and total control of the pictures/races directory on his computer and is completely immune to such puny attempts.

[oleg]

Originally posted by Paul1980au:
Turn off the mega evil empire lol and even when you are huge no one attacks you - its the easiest way to win a game lol

That and make all the advanced racial characterisitcs worth 10 points a piece lol - that way psychic, religious, cyrstaline, temporal and others are all youres at once.

Nothing like a ship armed with psychic crew conVersion, religious device that always htis its target, cyrstaline shields, organic armour, temporal shipyards and tech on ships.

True Evil Overlord does not care to cheat AI - it is only a training ground for dominating people

[Renegade 13]

62. If reasonably possible, force enemy populations to surrender. Then, when the inevitable rebellion occurs, you can wipe out a few billion of the aliens....both to crush the rebellion, and show your power to your people. This display will, of course, forestall any rebellion by your own population, with the added bonus of killing a few billion filthy aliens!

[Wardad]

63. Everyone who Posts on this thread is your sworn enemy.

[Alneyan]

64: I will put a strong emphasis on exploration and discovery of alien races, as all knowledge regarding my enemies has to be obtained as quickly as possible. As an added bonus, it will allow me to go to war with the said alien race all the sooner, without hopefully an ally around to help them. It is worth mentioning the aforementioned exploration will be carried over by my most intelligent councillors, as I do not want them to remain anywhere near the seat of power. They might have a few fancy notions about who should rule *my* Almighty Empire after all.

65: No matter how developed my ego is, I will focus on efficiency rather than on displaying my wealth/power/technological prowess. Therefore, I will not dabble in building a Sphereworld with no less than 240 Cultural Centers when an enemy fleet is bombarding my palace. In other circumstances, I will think twice before building Baseships with massive-mounted weaponry and no Quantum Reactor or additional supply storage, even if such ships would be quite a sight to behold.

66: Despite my undying love for ships able to dash damage, death, decay and destruction (and other nice words starting with D) on a grand scale, I will not overlook the need for Repair Bays and a space yard or two. My Invincible Armada is not that useful when all the ships have been disabled during a skirmish. Similarly, if I find that the cravens I am fighting have taken up the habit of boarding all my ships, a space yard would allow me to add a Security Station or two on every single ship of the fleet. Thus I will be spared the embarrassment of losing twelve Battlemoons (each requiring two whole *years* to be completed) to a force of twelve lowly Escorts equipped with two Boarding Parties V each.

67: My very first decision as an Evil Overlord will be to assert my claims on the whole galaxy through the Borders window. After all, my Empire does not have any border, for its boundary is the end of the universe itself. Thanks to my outstanding intellect, I will be able to claim ownership of systems I have yet to visit, even if such a move might slightly upset the bloodthirsty Talisman-wielders. (They were dwelling in their holy haven, which unfortunately happened to be seven sectors away from my palace. How annoying.)

68: I will take up learning the Drow tongue to name my ships (or any similar language that isn't widely known), so as to make my design names as hard to figure out as possible. I will be using a naming scheme based on various irrelevant data, such as the position of the four moons orbiting my homeworld at a given moment or my latest fancy. Due to this, I might send in the "Mrimmd'ssinss" Stellar Manipulation ship to make a recon in an enemy system rather than the "Mrannd'ssinss" Explorer ship, but I deem such a problem to be worth the headaches my design names will bring to my foes.

69: As my memory is not as good as it used to be, I will store all I need to remember in my fleets' name, as nobody can know what secrets lie there in the open. A typical fleet name will be: "Invading Fleet, composed of 77 warships and 14 support ships. Spouse's birthday on November 14th. These silly aliens cannot read what I am writing on them, even while the knowledge needed for them to save their hides is displayed here. Work meeting tomorrow at 9 am. A Stellar Destroyer is in the fleet to destroy the alien's homesystem. Buy something to eat when going back home tonight." As shown in the previous example, I may taunt my enemies to my leisure as well, although it does seem pointless since they will not know about it.