The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[RudyHuxtable]

I felt that the capitalistic society we thrive in demanded direct competition for the Forum Bar and Grill! No longer is there a virtual restaurant monopoly. Now we've got another great hang out where everybody knows your name and loves the same great Space Empires IV chat.

Lemme pour you a glass.

And be sure to try the special:

Fried Won-Ton Violence

[Atrocities]

Do you have EEE on a stick? IF you no have EEE on a stick than I'm going to the other joing. I hear they sell phong dogs.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

A rather large, round, segmented object is thrown through one of the windows, shattering glass in a deadly spray. Several loud 'ticking' sounds are heard, then the objects explodes, sending shrapnel everywhere...

Party streamers.

[RudyHuxtable]

The current menu:

Phong Dogs

Fried Cryslonite Twinkies

Fruit Salad

EEE shakes

EEE on a stick for AT, and a cajun seasoned variation.

French Fries (cooked in Toltayan Summer Oil for reduced trans-fat content)

I'm taking suggestions for other dishes, and my head chef is working on newer choices as we speak.

Now I need a wait staff...

Narf? AT?

I pay 10/hr plus gratuity. And I give back rubs to females. And phongs in thongs.

[Renegade 13]

I won't even approach this place unless I can have my special: Xiati kebobs, marinated, and served with a habenero pepper sauce.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Nah, I think I'll just throw in random combustables.

[RudyHuxtable]

Renegade, done. I'll produce an updated menu as people bring me favorites.

What about drinks, guys?

Let's get intergalactic here.

[Kamog]

Are the FBW's at this new place cuter than the ones at the old place?

Are there any FBW's here at all?

Well, I like the name of this new place. I'll come back with my samurai sword and ninja weapons, just in case a fight breaks out.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

OOC: If a fight breaks out, a certain mouse will be here as fast as the NSN Murpy's Law will putter.

BTW, are there any nearby stellar objects I should be aware of when I park my planetoid?

[RudyHuxtable]

We have beautiful, exotic, real live breathing women (yes, "they" are unimaginably immense), and for the rowdier, computer enthralled crowd there are femme-bots.

Maybe tomorrow morning I'll give you a written description of the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut.

I'll give you a tid-bit:

Wrap-around bar with a fish-tank full of tropical, sub-tropical, and alien salt water fish. Complete with miniature treasure chest and gravel. Of course, the entire design is supported by grav fields so it floats.

[Jack Simth]

Star Death Drinks:
White Dwarf: Non-Alcholic, perfectly harmless; served cold. Otherwise known as water.
Nova: A bright, spiced yellow drink, small but powerful. Served hot.
Super Nova: A much bigger, bright, yellow drink, very alcholic. Served boiling.
Neutron Star: It's possible to remember starting and finishing this drink on the same day... but only just. Served cold. Attracts iron filings.
Black Hole: A black drink so named because the sheer amount of alchol ensures that nobody remembers finishing one if they take anything less than a day at it. Thermometers dissolve before a proper serving temperature can be taken.
Galactic Core: A very oversized Black Hole.

[RudyHuxtable]

All drink requests are honored at the Won-Ton, friends! Any concoction is capable of being produced by our experienced bartending staff (Bud and Nancy)!

New menu item:

Sub-Space Jello! In lime, cherry, peach, and strawberry. If you talk into it, others eating Sub-Space Jello can hear you! The true intergalactic cup n' string!

We also have live music every night, slide shows and a planetarium on Tuesdays, dancing in the rumba room nightly, and the multidimensional mathematics playground for people wanting to talk to their counterparts on other planes of existence. This is only the beginning of the entertainment.

The Won-Ton aims to please

-Rudy Huxtable,
Cosby Kid, Proprietor

[mac5732]

The stranger all dressed in long flowing black cape and large dark rimmed and tinted glasses, walks into this new establishment. He appears to be looking for a table in the cornor, finding none he proceeds to lower his aging anatamy onto a bar stool. he calls over the waiter and orders some scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, rye toast and a brewski,he then lounges back and proceeds to make notations on a stange looking pad with all kinds of blinking lights and flashing storbes. no rose bushes, no FBW, no Tribble wings.... and he contninues to write http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Randallw]

I wonder who else here has studied the Physics of Won-Ton burrito meals http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[RudyHuxtable]

I started to, but the equations are very long and I just lose interest.

Basically, Won-Ton burritos are heavy, and fattening.

And here at the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut, they're multidimensional, and come with a side of Pepto.

[Thermodyne]

RudyHuxtable said:
The current menu:

Phong Dogs

Fried Cryslonite Twinkies

Fruit Salad

EEE shakes

EEE on a stick for AT, and a cajun seasoned variation.

French Fries (cooked in Toltayan Summer Oil for reduced trans-fat content)

I'm taking suggestions for other dishes, and my head chef is working on newer choices as we speak.

Now I need a wait staff...

Narf? AT?

I pay 10/hr plus gratuity. And I give back rubs to females. And phongs in thongs.



WHat???? No Whoop-*** on the menu? A little fresh whoop-*** can really set the reputation of place like this.

[rdouglass]

I'm still trying to figure out "Fruit Salad". http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Apples, oranges, tomato's, generally some lettuce, stuff like that. Slice it all up and toss it together.

[Atrocities]

Hey I just checked out your bathroom. WHO SAID THE METHAIN BREATHERS COULD USE IT? That is just OMG sickening MAN!

[Aris_Sung]

Deep Fried Krill?
General Vaughn Chicken?

more as they come to me

[Atrocities]

Menu Additions:

Feel the Force Galaxy gasser chilli
OMG - Make way - Barium Barrieto (sp)
WTF Did I Just Eat - Baby Gagers
Sudden Bathroom Alarm - Greesy Something (Tastes like chicken - don't ask)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

EEE McNuggets

Crispy Xi'Chung (a normal specimen shot and served on a plate - the exoskeleton is what makes it crispy)

Jraenar Steaks (you don't want to know the amount of steak you can obtain from a single Jraenar)

Cheese (just watch out not to bite the Narf if you find it attached to your piece of cheese in a consuming manner)

[Combat Wombat]

These are the type of threads that keep me coming her everyday http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Me2 I'm here every day without exception. I always spend several hours a day on the forums.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Praetorian Burritos (look like piles of bull crap from a bull with severe indigestion, smells even worse, but tastes wonderfully - a guaranteed bathroom hit!)

Praetorian Fries (Nothing beats a fries Praetorian... the only reason they're not utterly destroyed because of their ugliness)

Xiati Bread (just watch out for two things - the Mushuns Sporacy that you might find on the bread, and anything the Xiati have put into it, they're known to make excellent poisons)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Sergetti Soup with Meatballs (the sewage dumped by Sergetti ships with fried EEE floating in it)

Jraenar Stuffed with Deep-Fried EEE (the reason they're deep fried is because they're fired from APB weapons, then picked up by a fighter http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif )

Excerpt from the promo flyer:

"Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut... an Evil Genocidal Ruler's Favorite!"

[RudyHuxtable]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the updated Won-Ton Menu!

"Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut... an Evil Genocidal Ruler's Favorite!"

The house special:

Fried Won-Ton Violence

Favorite Dishes:

Sergetti Soup with Meatballs
Jraenar Stuffed with Deep-Fried EEE
Praetorian Burritos
Praetorian Fries
Xiati Bread
Deep Fried Krill
General Vaughn Chicken
EEE Nuggets (for copyright reasons, they aren't McNuggets, but they're made the same way)
Crispy Xi'Chung
Jraenar Steak
CHEESE
Feel the Force Galaxy gasser chili
OMG - Make way - Barium Burrito
WTF Did I Just Eat - Baby Gagers
Sudden Bathroom Alarm - Greesy Something
Whoop-*** (small whoopings or monster beatings available)
Won-Ton Burritos, with a side of Pepto
Sub-Space Jello (choice of flavors)
Phong Dogs
Fried Cryslonite Twinkies
Fruit Salad
EEE shakes
EEE on a stick for AT, and a cajun seasoned variation.
French Fries (cooked in Toltayan Summer Oil for reduced trans-fat content)

Drinks:
Coca-Cola
Dr. Pepper
Sprite

Coffee

tEEE (get it? GET IT?!)

Orange Juice (not from oranges. It's just orange for some reason)

Alcoholic Beverages:
White Dwarf
Nova
Super Nova
Neutron Star
Black Hole
Galactic Core

[TerranC]

RudyHuxtable said:
Orange Juice (not from oranges. It's just orange for some reason)



Made with pure praetorian and sallegan extracts, right?

[NullAshton]

You need terrans on the menu...

[RudyHuxtable]

They are on the as yet incomplete Dessert Menu

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Dessert:

Siberian Ice-Creams (frozen Terrans)

Btw, I thought this joint was terrans-only... since all other races get served up fresh here... so why so you want terrans on the menu? I mean, they're pretty much tasteless... like a side of Praetorian chicken steak

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I'm freely donating two dozen and one (25) heads of Phongs to serve as table legs.

Do you know you could fashion an entire set of kitchen implements from the corpse of just a single Krill?

(btw, what are FBWs?)

New drink:

the Spatial Rift
Drink it and when it kicks in you'll think the explosion just knocked you into another dimension.... NEVER drink more than one per year or you'll die of severe indigiestion.

[Alneyan]

Rushes in the Violence Take-Out Hut, panting from the run he just made Beware! Something truly horrible is bound to happen! Something so bad I cannot even think of it, lest I should be overcome by an inescapable feeling of dread and despair! Few mortals can keep their sanity after the very mention of the Doom this place is to witness. Beware!

The message delivered, Alneyan goes back to the shady corner of the hut, orders the One True Drink, and waits for *their* arrival. A most exquisite spectacle it shall be. No doubt of it!

Let's see if my "Knowledge of the Denizens of the Cantina" serves me well. FBW is likely to mean something like "Beautiful Women", as it is a hallmark of their bartenders, along with "being willing at all times". Odd place this Cantina is. Truly odd. Alternatively, it could just mean "Fantastic Bar Waitress", or something of the like. But their characteristics remain the same regardless of what FBW actually means.

[Alneyan]

After much effort, the following information was obtained. Make good use of it! (Please consult the file attached to this data file to access our intelligence report)

The answer to the question is indeed yes, I do have too much time on my hands this evening.

[Raging Deadstar]

Alneyan said:
After much effort, the following information was obtained. Make good use of it! (Please consult the file attached to this data file to access our intelligence report)

The answer to the question is indeed yes, I do have too much time on my hands this evening.



much applause for Alneyan That was great my friend, I Laughed for a good few minutes abbout that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

heeheehee... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[General Woundwort]

The owner and patrons of the Won Ton are enjoying their cosmic cuisine and comic banter when the faux-Chinese muzak being played over the loudspeakers is rudely interrupted.

“Hey. Hey! What are you doing here?” a disembodied voice crackles over the loudspeaker. “This is a private studio! You must leav… AUUUGH! [THUNK]”

A pregnant silence permeates from the speakers for a few seconds. Suddenly, another song bursts forth from the ceiling. A strangely familiar one (http://mfile.akamai.com/6533/wm2/muze.download.akamai.com/2890/us/euwm2/728/1044728_1_12.asx?obj=v20615).

Right on cue, General Woundwort and Raging Deadstar step through the door, followed by a mass of pinstripe-suited goombahs, torpedoes, and goodfellas, many of them carrying oddly-shaped violin cases. A phalanx of Furio clones follows Woundwort and RD as they walk up to the main counter.

“Greetings, Mr. Huxtable. We are the duly designated representatives of Growltigger Enterprises, the sole owner and titleholder of entertainment establishments on these forums. You have opened a restaurant on Mr. Growltigger’s turf, without prior authorization or contractual agreement. We doubt very much that he will be pleased with this. Therefore, we are here to offer you… an arrangement.”

Woundwort pauses to light a Padron Anniversario cigar, then continues. “You are cordially invited (with full guarantee of amnesty and safe passage, of course) to come to the Forum Chat Bar and Grill, and negotiate a franchise agreement with Mr. Deadstar and myself. If, when Mr. Growltigger returns, we can offer him proof of your good intentions (and a generous cut of the profits), he may be less inclined to cut off your head, set fire to your body, and feed the charred remains to the Pak’ma’ra. I can guarantee you that you’ll find Deadstar and I much easier to deal with than the Boss.”

Woundwort places a data crystal on the counter, which upon later examination is found to contain rather graphic footage of Growltigger’s ‘hostile takeover’ of a prior competitor (rated ‘T’ for Teen) (http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB59&Number=216121&page=0 &view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=94).

“Hopefully that will convince you. Consider our offer well, and don’t take too much time in doing so. If the Great Kat comes back and finds you still doing unauthorized business on his turf… the personal consequences would be most… unfortunate.”

“Good day to you. We expect to see you soon.”

Woundwort and RD tip the rims of their fedoras in Rudy’s direction, and depart the Take Out Hut. The hordes of capos follow them out. The Sopranos theme song fades away, and the original disc jockey’s voice is heard again (somewhat less chipper, and in obvious need of some ibuprofen)…

“We now… groan…return you to our regularly scheduled muzak…”

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Ooh, is there going to be a fight? It's been so long since I had someone to play with...

[Kamog]

Wow, I like the excellent selection of dishes here at this establishment. Some rare and exquisite delicacies from across the galaxy... hey, you even have Cryslonite Twinkies, my favorite! But each time I bite those things, I end up getting an expensive dental bill!


StrategiaInUltima said:
(btw, what are FBWs?)



FBW's are Fluffy Bunny Waitresses. They are young, beautiful, friendly, and usually in skimpy uniforms.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Alneyan]

Raging Deadstar said:
That was great my friend, I Laughed for a good few minutes abbout that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif



Be mindful of what you say RD, or else I shall browse through the intelligence archives and find your own file! Hmm, where did I put my blackmail dossier...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

OK... but how pneumatic are they (the FBWs)?

(Pneumatic as in the year 649 After Ford. Those who know what I'm talking about will know what I'm talking about.)

[Thermodyne]

Hmmmm…….Could a patron perhaps order something special? Let’s say a hearty side order of Revenge ala Khan? That would be served cold if you recall.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero strolls in the door, looks around nonchalantly and shudders.
"Ick! It's all so... trendy! And why is there a Praetorian on the barby! Yick!"
With that, the Won Ton begins to shake violently, and a blinding white light begins shining from above. Strangely, outside, the windows are all black, and terrible shapes can be seen moving within the inky shadows. Soon, they grow close enough for their hellish howling to be heard, and the patrons scramble to hide vainley under the tables.

"Wait! Stop! I haven't decided yet!"

At the utterence of the word stop, the light vanishes, the darkness recedes and the heinous minions outside melt away to nothing. Agent Zero stands in the doorway, staring at his hands.
"By all that his holy," he whispers, looking up. "Did I just unleash the combined destructive force of both Heaven AND Hell?"
The look of sheer terror on the faces of the patrons is all the answer he needs. He wanders over to the bar.
"Um, I'm going to need a Galactic Core after that one. And barkeep, make it a double."

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Just as AZ starts on his Galactic Core, a couple of GT's maffioso goons enter the bar armed with - of all available weapons, Ground Cannons, small Torpedoes, small Incinerator beams, small Shield depleters - tommyguns.

The frontmost goon (apparently the leader, as he appears to have an IQ that is actually HIGHER than zero) opens his mouth to say something and is subsequently splattered all over the take-out hut, ruining the Praetorian nicely simmering on the BBQ.

The other goons open up with their trenchbrooms firing randomly into the street outside, ruining a perfectly good building in which someone was just opening a new restaurant. (Darnit! And that just after the last payment!) A screaming noise fills the air as a massive shape comes careening right at the bar from high up in the air. The immense fighter opens up with at least several dozen small Meson Blasters and splatters the rest of the goons all over the street. Then it disappears to a COMCA in orbit.

StrategiaInUltima enters the take-out. "Sorry 'bout the mess. Ordered the pilot to take 'em out any means necessary. One tEEE please, Phong blend."

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero plucks a bit of small intestine out of his Galactic Core and drops it on the bar.
"Of all the hairbrained, suicidal, pointless- GAHHH! I feel an Apocalypse coming on!!!"
Demonic shadow rear out of the floorboards and begin spreading on across the Hut. Still immaterial, they begin slowly to solidify pacing about the place as they eagerly wait to become coporeal so they may wreak bloody vengeance upon all they come across. One of the largest demons eyes Strategia hungrily.
Fortunately, the barkeep quickly plops a replacement Galactic Core, gratis, in front of Zero.
"Ooo! Freebie!"
The shadows slowly recede to whence they came.

[General Woundwort]

Weaving through the destruction outside, a courier bot hovers into the Take-out Hut and drops a package onto the counter.

It smells. Bad. Really bad.

The reason it smells bad is because it contains a rather large - and rather dead - fish. The fish is wrapped in a bulletproof vest, and (even more strange) has a rolled-up copy of the user's guide to MOO3 stuffed in its mouth (obviously, that is what killed it).

Tacked to the fish is a hand-scrawled note.

MR. HUXTABLE - TIME IS RUNNING OUT...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

AZ: "Of all the freaking threats in the Universe... why oh WHY DID HE HAVE TO BRING MOO3 INTO THIS?!?!?" Shadows enter the place even quicker than before. This time, they're all adorned with MOO3 memorabilia - user's manuals in hands, claws, tentacles, whatnots, copies sticking out of backpacks, vest pockets, sacks to for invertebrates to carry slung around anything, and - worst of all - T-Shirts with MOO3 print... in full color. The same demon eyes Strategia hungrily. He pulls out a weapon and annihilates the demon in a flash of cauterized proto-photons. An even larger one takes its place. He ponders his mistake.

AZ does not seem to notice all of this, still staring wide-eyed at the manual in the fish's mouth. Meanwhile, all the other patrons stare terrified - mortified - at the very embodiment of Hell on Sol III.

The bartender (still need to find someone for that, though - we can't keep referring to him/her/it as "the bartender".) quickly offers one of the more vicious-looking demons a Galactic Core, and this seems to pacify them.

"A new super-weapon," mutters a lesser demon in awe as it steps/sloshes out of the take-out on its three feet and sixty-odd tentacles.

Strategia really begins to worry, as he's been referring to himself in the third person too often lately. He thinks he should make an appointment with the psychiatrist soon. Perhaps one of the new [%PsychicRaceName] psycho-neuro-pathologic-paranoid schizophrenics that have recently been spotted in the streets of the psycho district.

[Jack Simth]

A commotion is heard amongst the demons outside. The patrons look out the window, and see a rather pale man walking towards the bar. There's a 15-ft radius around him completely free of demons. The reason soon becomes clear as he continues to apporach the bar - any demon that enters that radius immediately dies; some drop, some blow away in a puff of smoke, some simply fade out, but none remain. When he gets to the door, he doesn't bother opening it - he simply continues to walk right on through, and passes through the door without damaging it. Once inside, people notice something else - he's slightly transparent. He then blinks, takes on a more solid appearence, and orders a white dwarf at the bar. He doesn't quite get why so many people start to crowd him.....

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero looks over and the recent arrival and grins rather lopsidedly (as one would expect from someone who's ingested two Galactic Cores in the last few hours). A large crowd has gathered around Jack Smith, ostensibly due to the fact that demons do not seem fond of his aura. However, no one seems to have noticed the Archangel Gabriel standing by Jack's shoulder. Zero chuckles quietly.

"Silly rabbit, Tricks are for kids- I mean, Fools! I've got both sides doing as I say!"

WHAM!

Bodies go flying everywhere, and Jack Smith sails clear across the Won Ton, ricochets off the Sallega tank and smacks into the Praetorian grill with a sickening crunch. Strategia races to Jack's side and begins waving smelling salts in front of his nose.
Meanwhile, Agent Zero leaps to his feat and glares angrily at Gabriel, who stares abashedly at his angelic feet.

"DO! WHAT! I! SAY! DID I SAY DO THAT! WHAT I SAY! WHAT- Hold on, I gotta wizz."

Hours pass....

"-I! SAY! Now go to your room and think about what you did!"

Gabriel obediantly rises towards the heavens. Zero stumbles over to Jack, holds up three fingers and asks Jack how many he sees.
"Eight," comes the immediate reply.
Zero studies his hand for a few moment. "Correct. Now. I'm gonna have another wizz, then I'm going back to the Bar & Grill for a while. Too loud in here. And turn down those lights!"

As he departs, a cold shiver runs through the Won Ton patrons, for they are all thinking the same thing. Soon... In a matter of hours, the man who controls the powers of both celestial light and darkness... Is going to have a hangover.

[RudyHuxtable]

I, Rudy Huxtable, proprietor and owner of the The Intergalactic Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut, am proud to announce the addition of a Pool Room (including 400 tables of both Terran pool and 4D Xiati pool).

We will also four different atmosphere rooms in the coming weeks. Our resident Hydrogen breathers can... "breathe easy!"... GET IT?!... knowing they'll have a room of their own in the Hut. Methane lovers will be able to sit in their own stinky chamber and chat about the scores of the 708th Cross Galaxy Rugby tournament!

I'd also like you to meet our ever sexy and incredibly talented wait staff:

Mindy (hot, Terran)
Cindy (hot, Terran)
Darlene (hot, Terran)
Marlene (hot, Terran)
GRGLECK (hot for a Xi-Chung)
Brick (a stunning Phong, doesn't approve of some of the Phong dishes, however)

and Hank, the bartender (not hot, Terran)


Also, investors welcome to help outfit the arcade room!

Sincerely,

Rudy Huxtable
Proprietor

The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[Kamog]

I like this place! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Good food and nice waitresses! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Thermodyne]

With a sly smile, Thermodyne views the carnage before him. He had a feeling that there would be class one salvageables to be had in this place. He removes a small device from his day bag and places it on the table. Then for just an instant, the air seems to sparkle. Soon, the recently departed begin to stir and claw their way back into the world of the living. Thermodyne grins openly and orders the new Thermolians to wait outside. Quite happy with the results, Thermodyne retrieves the small device and sets it to recharge. He is of the opinion that it will again be of use this night.

[Kamog]

What we need here at the Hut is a kung-fu training dojo at the back of the establishment. In preparation for the upcoming big fight, staff members and customers can practise martial arts in between meals. You know, just like in those old kung fu movies where the waiters at the Chinese restaurant fight off the bad guys and practise constantly whenever business is slow.

[General Woundwort]

A large robot stomps up to the entrance of the Take-Out Hut and nails a large poster to the front door.


ATTENTION ALL PATRONS OF THE WTVTOH

THIS PROPERTY HAS BEEN TARGETED FOR TAKEOVER
BY THE FORCES OF GROWLTIGGER ENTERPRISES. ALL
PATRONS NOT WISHING TO BE CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE
ARE ENCOURAGED TO EVACUATE TO THEIR OLD HAUNT AT
THE FORUM CHAT BAR AND GRILL WITHIN 24 HOURS.
ANY PATRONS WHO DO WISH TO BE CAUGHT IN
THE CROSSFIRE, DO SO AT THEIR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE
BEEN WARNED.




(And to quote Ambassador Kosh, "And so it begins..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif)

[RudyHuxtable]

I'd like to address for our patrons the recent threats being issued against the WTVTOH:

I have tracked down the large robot that posted that crude note on the door. It has been dismantled and reassembled as the new jukebox in the corner! Let's have a big hand for the Growltigger Enterprises engineers who built such a great multipurpose robot. Who knew it could spew out hours of Johnny Cash and be intimidating at the same time? Just don't say it has pencil legs. That hurts its feeling.

Also, I've just finished installing new force fields that can detect explosions as they occur. The force fields throw a bubble around the explosion to contain it as it begins, isolating it from the rest of the room.


It would also appear there has been some dirty dealings lately and the Forum Chat Bar and Grill has been playing a key role in customer unrest. I've hired the galaxy's most competent hacker, Silky DrawZ, to do some investigating into the FCB&G's accounting practices, among other things. Fear not, loyal patrons of the WTVTOH, you are safe here within these hallowed walls... that is, unless you order our new cocktail:

The Alka-Aaron Hall-ick

Don't ask what's in it. Just drink it! First round is on the house!

Stay groovy, spacerz!


Rudy Huxtable
Cosby Kid and Proprietor

The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[RudyHuxtable]

The Sergetti Empire has been nice enought to donate 300 elite Sergetti commandos to assist in security at the Hut. Sniper positions are being installed inside and outside the Hut, insuring the highest quality dining and safety possible. The snipers will not only attack any assailants as they come through the door, they will kill your dinner if you prefer only the freshest in Intergalactic cuisine!

Bon Appetit!

Rudy Huxtable
Cosby Kid and Proprietor

The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[mac5732]

force fields and sniper won't stop T-Rex and his cousins http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif nor the minions that live below the Bar and Grill, Be afraid, be very very afraid

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[mac5732]

as RudyHuxtable approaches the entrance to the Hut, a small group of tribbles do a fly by and RudyHuxtable is pelted with numerous chocolate Cream Pies http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Inside the establishment, Someone yells and everyone turns towards the sound, Large and Loud Gasps echo thruout the buidling, for there, on the wall behind the bar, Someone or something has printed.. The dreaded.. "O" word .. in all its terrible and hideious splendar. The patrons dive for cover and begin shivering underneathe their tables, The jukebox becomes deathly quiet... for everyone knows the WRATH OF THE INFAMOUS "0" WORD, stillness creeps slowly over the building, and then the Huxtable stumbles into the main room all covered in gooey, enriched chocolate cream from head to foot, and he is actually seen licking his fingers. UGH>........ :

(the lst shots have been fired http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif ) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[General Woundwort]

In the silence following this, a noticeable ticking sound is heard eminating from the new "jukebox"...

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

The main lobby is now engulfed in smoke, rubble, and the wreckage of most of the furniture and decor.

[Watching from the FCB&G, Woundwort chuckes.

"Gosh, they're making this almost too easy..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif ]

[Renegade 13]

Hey RudyHuxtable, can you complete this word?? Think of it as a puzzle to stimulate the mind.

M*shr**ms

[Jack Simth]

Glances around at the carnage.
"This simply won't do."
Spins a pocket universe with odd properties, and moves the wreckage of the take-out hut there. Moments later, one of the odd properties of the pocket universe become clear, as the wreckage repairs itself, quickly resulting in an undamaged hut. Every inanimate object is repaired - including the jukebox, which starts to blow up after every song, but re-assembles itself before the damage goes very far.

Then establishes a permanent gateway between the material plane and the pocket universe, setting up a permanent illusion of the original Hut, which serves merely to mark the gateway between universes.

As a test, Jack pulls out a sealed beer, opens it, and pours a glass. A moment later, the glass is still full, and the beer is re-sealed and full. Jack nods, then dumps the beer from the glass. Then frowns momentarily when he notices the glass fills itself back up as soon as it is set upright, as the beer stain fades. Then he shrugs.

"Ah well, it'll work."

"As for that drunken sop, I think he may enjoy how this new pocket universe singles out his hangovers for sheer, unimaginable duration. The effect only applies here, of course - it's tied to the location - but as long as he's here, his hangover won't fade a bit. Everyone else will be happy that all their hangover symptoms are transferred to the sot, when he's around. Sic an angle on me. Heh. Pointless. Let's see his reaction the next time he walks in the door...."

Proceeds to buy every patron in the room a drink of their choice, ensuring that there will be plenty of hangovers for transferrence.

"Oh, and it's not onions here, it's garlic."

Slaps his forehead as a few cratefulls of garlic cloves land on top of his head.

"Ah well, at least they're tasty."

Steps out of the pile, grabs one, and starts munching.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

...NEWS FLASH

A large group of very rare Xiati/Cue-Cappa crossbreeds, of which none were supposed to exist after the Genological Riots, have complained about a disturbed psychotemporal quantum field near the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut. Upon inspection, officials concluded that the restaurant had been replaced with a quantumchroniton illusion that functioned as the gateway between the material world and a pocket universe. Councillor Hackett, the councilman that ordered the investigation, demanded it be removed immediately, and the original Hut put back in its place.

When asked, Hackett stated that this occurence had nothing to do with his new Intragalactic Inc. TX-23 interplanetary sports car, or with the firebombing - which happened sometime later.

Growltigger Enterprises has generously offered to place tight security near the restaurant, if it ceded corporate control to GT Enterprises. When the hut proprietor, a mr. Huxtable, refused, another firebombing consumed the entire alcohol storage building next door, where the main ingredients for most of the establishment's drinks were kept.

GT Enterprises has refused to comment on this occurence.

[Atrocities]

/me Cleans my gun.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

After the news flash and the events it described left the patrons (and the structural suppports of the building) more than a little haggard, AZ makes a call on his mitochondrial phone. (get it?)"

"AgentOne, dispatch all agents from Two to Ninety-Thousand Six Hundred And Five to GT Enterprises. And go yourself, too."

Just as he ends the call, Silky DrawZ comes running in. "I've got it! I've got proof! It's -" and is splattered all over the Hut, ruining the Praetorian nicely simmering away on the BBQ, set there to replace the one that got ruined by the splattered bits of the GT Goon Commander (1kT, 1kT resistance, damage 1 due to flying debris, Destroyed After Use).

Moments (though for some of the Xiati it was days) later, several Nultoh strongmen enter the establishment and prepare to smash the place up.

(Btw, what's the "O" word?)

[AgentZero]

Jack Smith spots Agent Zero walking towards the door and an expectant grin spreads across his face. Zero enters the Hut, takes three steps and promptly drops to his knees with a piercing cry of agony. Jack giggles girlishly as Zero writhes about in pain. Zero tries desperately to make it to the exit, but his spasming muscles cause him merely to flop around on the floor. Jack's enjoyment of the spectacle is cut short when Agent Zero suddenly stops flopping, rises to his knees and lifts his head to look at Jack. Against all odds, a tortured grin spreads across Agent Zero's face.

"Fool!" he gasps as his eyes begin glowing a hellish red. "Have you any comprehension of what you have done?!"

Before he can reply, Jack is engulfed by a black cloud of demons, these ones fully coporeal and not as easily dismissed as their ethereal breathren. Simultaneously, a horde of sword-wielding angels decend upon the patrons of the Hut and begin liberally administering decapitations, eviscerations and amputations. In the midst of all this horrific carnage, Agent Zero suddenly jumps to his feet, strolls casually over to the bar and asks a cowering Hank for a pint of water.

"Don't worry, Hank, they won't hurt you, the bringer of beer. I've got things totally under control."
"B-b-but I thought Jack's pocket-universe-inflicted-hangover caused you to lose control of the Legions."
"Pffft! Pocket universe. You really think that would have any effect on me? I am an instrument of the divine, and everyone knows that the theoretical has no effect on the theological."

With that, Agent Zero snaps his fingers and the demons and angels suddenly vanish, leaving bits and pieces of patrons scattered all over the floor. And, left standing in the middle of the floor is Jack Smith, or what's left of him. The demons have done a thorougly excellent job in flaying him, managing to remove every scrap of skin and flesh while leaving all veins, arteries and internal organs completely intact.

"Wow," exclaims Hank. "That's impressive.
"Indeed," Agent Zero agrees. "And agonizingly painful. Of course, he can't scream, for he has no larynx, and he can't move for he has no muscle tissue left, but rest assured, he is experiencing the most horrific pain imagineable."

Then, in a moment of extremely rare compassion, Agent Zero takes a Coporeal Regenerator out of his pocket and sticks it to Jack's forhead. It will take several hours to completely replace his body, by which time Agent Zero will be back in the Forum Bar & Grill, snuggled up with his Angel of Death.

"Now then," he addresses Jack, who has just regrown ears. "Let this be a lesson to you. When someone controls the Legions of Heaven and Hell, you really shouldn't call them a sot."

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The Nultoh strongmen approach AZ and try to prevent his exiting the establishment, until they realise he said he'd been on his way to the Bar & Grill.

Then they move to the remains of the jukebox robot, which have pulled themselves together again. "Come on. Let's smash up this pencil-legged 'bot!" one says foolishly.

When the robot has vented his anger, mr. Huxtable proudly announces a new dish:

Nultoh Hachee

[NullAshton]

You need to take the J'Raenar out of the menu. *Omnious hum*

[General Woundwort]

That "ominous hum" is Strategian's dimensional gate being overriden and shut down, drawing the Take-Out Hut back into (at least what passes for) normal space (around here).

"ATTENTION ALL OCCUPANTS OF THE TAKE OUT HUT!!", Woundwort (via loudspeaker) calls out from outside. "WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED!!" A quick glance confirms this, as the Hut is indeed surrounded by hordes of Mafia thugs and rabid Mongooses (check the Forum Grill archives for that one). "YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO SURRENDER THE TITLE DEED, OR WE COME IN SHOOTING!!!" A quick consultation of the head mongoose with Woundwort brings the addition "..AND BITING!!!"

"TEN..."
"NINE..."

[NullAshton]

Actually the ominous hum is a plasma cannon http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The dimensional gate was Jack's, not mine. I just showed a recent news flash to the patrons in which a councilman had ordered the annihilation of the pocket universe and that had already happened, according to the news flash.

And what about the Nultoh strongmen? Or are they not GT's, but someone else's (like the guy who'd just opened a new restaurant when his building got annihilated by my Assault Fighter strafing GT's maffioso goons), or operating on their own?

Oh, and I hereby provide orbital precision bombing support and fighter protection by my COMCA in orbit. (You didn't really think Sol III actually had a MOON, did you?)

[douglas]

"EIGHT..."

"KABOOM"

Suddenly the Take-Out Hut and surrounding forces are cast into shadow as the Post-Dated Check Loan teraports in and fires a warning shot.

"ATTENTION FORCES THREATENING THE TAKE-OUT HUT" blares from the huge ship's speakers, and from several dozen speaker equipped terapedoes that suddenly appear in the midst of General Woundwort's forces. "WE HAVE ENOUGH FIREPOWER TO DESTROY ALL OF YOU MANY TIMES OVER." Minitanks start deploying from the PDCL's bays. "YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO LEAVE BEFORE WE OPEN FIRE. ANY ATTEMPT TO ATTACK US OR THE TAKE-OUT HUT WILL END OUR COUNTDOWN EARLY."

"TEN..."
"NINE..."

Edit: An umbrella of terapedoes is launched with orders to destroy any approaching armed craft that can't be positively ID'd as friendly. A teraport denial field is also activated, with a loophole for those who know the key, of course.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The COMCA USS Strategia (also known as Sol III) hails the PDCL.

"Captain Tagon. You are in an orbital precision-bombardment target zone. Our precision weapons are fully automatic. Once the firing sequence is in motion, it cannot be stopped without taking half the weapon apart. You are blocking our view of the FCB&G forces, and will also be hit when our weapons fire."

"TEN."
"NINE."

[douglas]

"Sheesh, you didn't really think I'd come without backup, did you?" The Polysyllabic Designation and assorted smaller ships ("smaller" being relative, this category includes the extra Tausennigan Thunderhead Superfortresses that come along) appear, weapons locked on to the USS Strategia's main batteries.

[AgentZero]

The dim light flickers breifly, and Heaven's Holy Legion pops into existence right above Hell's Unholy Legion. Leading the two Legions are, of course, Agent Zero and the Four Horseriders of the Apocalypse. Zero waives his hand in the air dismissively, and a massive demonic dragon appears behind Strategia's COMCA and swallows it with a single gulp. There is a muffled crunch as the dragon's stomach crushes it into tiny pieces, whereupon the dragon unleashes a massive firey belch that reaches across space and neatly blows the Post-Dated Check Loan (and everything in between, including the Polysyllabic Designation and assorted smaller ships) to smithereens.

"Wow," says Agent Zero as he watches a few dozen angels and demons ripping apart the remains of the few forces the PDCL was able to deploy before it's unfortunate demise.
"Cool," says War, before racing off to join the mayhem.
"Ouch," says Pestilence from underneath the smouldering chunk of hull plating that landed on him.
"So," says Death, looking at Agent Zero. "Once again we seem to have gained an overwhelming advantage. Shall we put an end to this upstart Hut once and for all?"
"Not yet," says Zero. "For one thing, we must await Woundwort's order to charge, and for another, the owner of the Hut has yet to take to the field of battle. Until one of those events occur, I'm staying right here."
"Shucks," says Death.

[RudyHuxtable]

Renegade 13: The completion of your mystery word is mAshrELms. Everyone knows that Mashrelms are a breed of Nultoh kitty cat that was responsible for the war between the J'Raenar and the Xiati fifteen minutes ago. Cmon, man I need a real challenge.


Hey everybody:

Thanks for all the help keeping the Hut in tact. Every day we install new security and shielding devices to stop the minimal and uninteresting attacks perpetrated by diabolic nobodies. Rest assured, I'll continue to update the menu with new dishes and stronger drinks as the days pass.

Also, thanks for that spongy chocolatey gooey bomb, evil-doers. That's given me the inspiration for me newest dessert:

The Chocolate Goo Stew
served hot, think of this plucky dish as a cross between a meal AND dessert. You won't need to eat for the rest of the day if you have this delicious treat. First serving is on the house!


Chins up, my intergalactic chums! The Hut has now passed 100,000 served. And hey! Don't forget our new delivery service! Who has a grasp on temporal technology? First person to guess that little poser gets free delivery for a year! That's right! Our time bending delivery boys can deliver your food to you as soon as you hang up your phone!


Bon Appetit!

[NullAshton]

You can't just wipe out all of those with just one dragon! They have gravity shields, as well as armor. the Polysyllabic Designation is probally larger that Sol's moon, and probally has massive amounts of armor and stuff.

[NullAshton]

Xiati have temporal technology...

[RudyHuxtable]

Free delivery for NullAshton! Let's all show your love!

(claps)

[NullAshton]

Woohoo! By the way, do you need more protection? I've got a few B-Destroyer III class dreadnaughts. 6 heavy XII anti-proton beams, great for close air support http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Also has 2250 points of phased shields.

[douglas]

Agent Zero's triumph is rather short-lived, as he is forcibly reminded of the incredibly fast reaction time of the AI known as Petey when the entire force teraports back in after a brief absence that lasted just long enough for the blast to dissipate. Several of the terapedoes reappear inside the dragon's stomach and promptly explode before the harsh environment has a chance to damage them. The fragmented pieces of the dragon are quickly reduced to an expanding cloud of monatomic dust when the fleet opens fire with a few of the main guns.

[RudyHuxtable]

NullAshton, any assistance provided in the security of the Hut leads to further freebies and incentives, so go on and park those bad boys near the front door and come on in for soup!

Evil-doers, I poop on you!

[NullAshton]

I can't do long-range support much, mainly because of the lack of combat sensors... But, close-range, it kills you easily.

*parks a fleet of 6 B-Destroyer IIIs around the hut*

[NullAshton]

I'll bring some B-Destroyer IV's soon, with combat sensors, ECMs, and multiplex tracking.

[NullAshton]

Should the B-Destroyer IV be a baseship?

[Renegade 13]

Renegade flickers into existance within the upstart establishment. Weilding only the Red Hot Poker Cannon, he decides to mete out justice according to his own definition of the term.

Grabbing an unsuspecting RudyHuxtable in a chokehold, he ties him to a solid barstool, waves the Red Hot Poker Cannon around in a dramatic manner for a moment before plunging it up to it's hilt into Rudy's....er....well you know where it went http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

As Rudy flops around in unimaginable agony from the entrance of the RHPC into his body, Renegade says,

"That ought to teach you to pack up...if it doesn't I can bring the Emasculator of Doom next time...and there WILL be a next time"

Then, with an evil grin and an evil laugh, Renegade flickers out of existance again, transporting instantly back to the FCB&G, leaving a very very sore and blistered RudyHuxtable gimping around trying to forget the horrible pain in his rear. Sorry, I didn't come up with it, just borrowed the idea from Growltigger.

[AngeldelaMuerte]

"Good try Agent Zero but perhaps you should leave commanding celestial energies to someone with a bit more experience. Like me. Now sit back watch, and learn."

[i]The Angel of Death waves her hand in a swirling motion, instantly encasing the entire Solar System in a static field that prevents any sort of teleportation, including but not limited to hyperspace, warp drive, any type of temporal technology, matter-energy transmission, energy-matter transmission, inter-dimensional travel, intra-dimensional travel, trans-dimensional travel, and any other sort of transportation that doesn't involve physically moving oneself from one point to another. With the combatants on both sides now securly trapped, Angel waves her hand again, tying both the existance and the intergrity of the static field to the very existance of the universe. Thus, any breach in the field, no matter how small would require the amount of energy required to collapse the entire universe multiplied by the total amount of energy in the universe. As a failsafe (as if one was needed), Angel then weaves a nullification field into the static field, ensuring that anyone who attempts to manipulate the field in anyway will instantly be erased from the timeline (WARNING: It is not recommended that you look at the static field for periods of more than five minutes or you may find yourself fading from existance).

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The B-Destroyers begin transmitting frantic messaging back and forth as a massive shadow passes overhead. Tides begin shifting horribly into the direction of Intel Forum City. One of the B-Destroyers tries firing a heavy XII APB into the shadow... only to be blown up by what seems to be a DUC shell about the size of a largish Battlecruiser.

Strategia leaves in a Starfighter to bring RudyHuxtable to the Brown Tentacle Rectal Hospital for examination. When he returns, the B-Destroyers are just scurrying away from under the massive shape of the USS Strategia. (note: it had an Advanced Tachyonic Accelerator, which it used to escape the belly of the Dragon.)

Strategia: "Well, mr. Ashton, it seems as though your puny B-Destroyers have fled in terror for my far superior force. Your ships weren't even 1500kT... my COMCA far exceeds even that number.

Heck, a couple of Starfighters could easily take out all your B-Destroyers without suffering a single casualty.

You see, it's all a matter of size. The PDCL was, oh, under 6000kT in size. That's tiny. Really, really tiny. A Starfighter is 150kT in itself. The USS Strategia is a modified COMCA. The standard version is already 25MT. The USS Strategia is an actual captured Peacekeeper Command Carrier, weakened from a recent battle with a Scarran Dreadnought. Everyone knows that Peacekeeper COMCAs are over 250MT in size.

If AZ ever shows up again, he'll not even have the chance to notice that there is even something going on. He'll be a rapidly expanding cloud of monatomic dust (TM&C Strohl Munitions. Excerpt from the folder of the VVVBHC 9000-B heavy plasma lance.) immediately. One hit from the Strategia's Uber-Overkill-Mounted Anti-Capship Disruptor Cannon will annihilate him immediately.

One tEEE, please. Phong blend."

[AngeldelaMuerte]

With silly teleportation technology completely nullified, the Angel of Death sets about doing what she does best. Pointing a finger upwards she avenges the death of her pet dragon by draining the energy from all organic and inorganic matter in Douglas's fleet. The now suddenly inert chunks of material slam to the ground around the Hut (miracleously not crushing it in the process) and begin disolving into a fine powder as the energy bonding their atoms together fades away.
Petey, the not-quite-fast-enough-this-time AI finds itself ripped from it's comfortable home, and now hovering in front of a very pissed off Angel of Death.

"Kill my dragon will you? What do you have to say for yourself?"
"001100110110101001! 0011100! 0011100010101! 00111000110011!"
"Riiiiiight..."

Detatching a demon's arm, Angel uses it like a baseball bat and smacks the module containing Petey high into the air. Renegade, having gone outside for some fresh air, sees Petey rising from the area of the Hut, opens fire with his Red Hot Poker Cannon. Petey, now riddled with red hot pokers and little more than a semisolid blob splats onto the roof of the Forum Grill and solidifies into a completely inert coating for the roof.

"That's enough carnage for me for one day. I'll let someone else deal with those Dreadnoughts. I'm too full."

[General Woundwort]

The battle rages in orbit and around the Hut, as a fleet of World Destroyers drops out of hyperspace (hey, since the SW franchise hit rock bottom, I can get lots of stuff on the cheap!) and engages the Strategia in head-to-head combat.

Meanwhile, the chaos and carnage within the Hut itself has allowed Woundwort and a contingent of capos to force an entry.

"OK, boys, take this place apart!"

The capos proceed to blast away at every non-FCB&G customer and staff member in sight.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ermm... Angel... those weren;t Dreadnoughts that passed over the B-Destroyers. That was a captured and modified Peacekepper Command Carrier (from Farscape). If you're referring to the Scarran Dreadnoughts, they're nowehre nearby. The COMCA (previously commonly known as Sol III A) is a massive warship. The "standard" (i.e. Capship Mod) version is 25MT, but Peacekeeper COMCA's look even bigger to me.

And you can't annihilate all life within the USS Strategia. You'd have to breach its hyperdimensional shielding first. That shielding ALONE contains the sum of ALL the power of several different dimensions. One tiny ripple in the field would cause your static shell to disappear like it never existed. Another ripple would completely annihilate the interdimansional bounds that separate dimensions, causing at least 17 different spatial dimensions and 923 different temporal dimensions to be randomly scrambled and intertwined.

No, but really. On a COMCA you can put hundreds of Phased Shield Generators. Not even your puny Dragon could penetrate that with its fire-breath, even if it had swallowed a red supergiant first. It can generate over 37500 phased shield points.

The PDCs mounted on it are so immense in themselves that they're 'bout as big as an average Trojan asteroid. They could inflict damage enough to take out a full stock Starbase with only a Master Computer and shielding.

Unfortunately, as of now Uber-Overkill-Mounts aren't available yet, as I've yet to redesign ground combat - and I've not gotten around to modding in at least two or three days.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero wanders about the battlefield, every once and a while poking at the raging inferno of energy around him that stops abruptly about a foot away from his person. He looks up at the source of the energy, Strategia's COMCA vainley venting it full armament at him from a range of mere kilometers. He look pitingly at Strategia.

"If you haven't realized it by now, I'm dating the Angel of Death. You can't touch me."

With that, he decided to try out some of the new skills The Angel has been teaching him (No, not THOSE skills!). He lifts a hand into the air, and suddenly the force that was stopping Strategia's COMCA's weapons fire from reaching him begins to repels it. As it's own firepower tears through it's shields and begins ripping apart it's armour, the COMCA attempts to utilize it's Advanced Tachyonic Accelerator to save itself from destruction and finds out what happens when you attempt to teleport from within a stasis-nullification field: The COMCA abruptly ceases to exist.

Only to return to existance a safe distance away, completely intact for 0.0000359 seconds before every atom in it's construction decides to attempt to exist simultaneously with it's neighbour, and the whole contraption blows apart in the most spectacular explosion since the Big Bang.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A Starfighter launched from the Strategia drops a LOt of troops on the planet. The goons and still surviving Nultoh strongmen are killed in the first few seconds after insertion. (Well, as NOBODY seemed to pick the Nultoh strongmen up, I just thought I'd eliminate them myself.) The troops form a protective perimeter around the Hut.

Meanwhile, the World Destroyers resort to last measures - they're firing their Superlasers at maximum output at the Strategia. All to no avail. The tens of thousands of shield output points absorb all damage. Death Star after innumerable Death Star gets blown to micro-smithereens by the Strategia's tertiary weapons.

The battle appears to be in the process of ending itself... in the Hut's favor.

[AngeldelaMuerte]

Strategia, I'd suggest re-reading Null-Ashton's post. The B-Destroyers ARE the dreadnoughts I was referring to. Furthermore, a static-nullification field of the divine variety instantly severs all links with other dimensions as this is the most basic of it's functions. Ergo, the hyperdimensional shielding would have failed the moment the static field was errected, allowing my dear Zero to splatter that COMCA into goo.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Erm... no divine or unholy shield could even approach the strength of a modified Peacekeeper Command Carrier with hyperdimensional shielding. The Divine and Unholy is unique per universe, and thus count for only one universe (or in this case dimension too), but my shielding connects hundreds of dimensions with all their universes at the same time... meaning it's better than a Holy Hyper-Shield Generator.

[douglas]

Following the destruction of the PDCL and associated ships, the Angel of Death is promptly buried under many tons of hate mail from numerous Schlock fans for killing off their favorite characters. The furor draws the attention of Howard Taylor, Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse. Being a god, he is of course completely immune to the effects of the stasis and nullification fields and quickly sets about correcting the situation. With a quick retcon, it turns out the fleet that just got destroyed was merely a gate-cloned copy of the original. The original fleet is now seen entering the system at a substantial fraction of the speed of light. He then ensures that the stasis field also prevents the calling up of more divine or hellish forces (ignoring the inadequate attempt of the nullification field to destroy a god) and sits back to watch from outside the universe.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

An intel 'mote (totally inconspicuous at 50kT) reports back from recon around the FCB&G. "BLEEP - Audio User Interface online. The target appears to be only defended by a few combat robots, while the rest of their legions are moving here. This leaves us with an excellent opening to run an attack on the Bar & Grill." "Fine. Contact the Strategia and tell them to send another security detachment down here so that we can take this one to attack the B&G head-on."

As the last Death Star explodes in yet another tedious, tiring flash of sparks and debris, another Starfighter is launched from the Strategia, also jam-packed with heavy defense forces. Where the initial landing force comprised mainly Robotic Assault Troopers, Cyborg Infantry anf Heavy Infantry, this landing ship is pakced full of Heavy Armor.

The legions of GT Enterprises approach the perimeter of the defense crossfire grid around the Hut. Woundwort, Renegade, AZ and the Angel of Death lead the front. The first double blast from a pair of Heavy Armor units does not kill them, but sends them flying away into different directions. Angel tries to flap her wings, but they seem to be rather scorched from the explosions. Then the legions charge.

Even heavy crossfire from the Heavy Armors can't stop them from reaching the Hut's perimeter and engage in a short-range streetfight.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero drapes his arm around Angel's waist and the two slowly approach the hut, flanked by War and Famine (Pestilence having taken a sick day). The troops surrounding the Hut, paralyzed between their fear of death, incredible urge to kill, and desire to run into the Hut and get something to eat, standy idly by as the four near them. As they walk past, the nearest of the troops begin pitching over as the life/energy is sucked out of them. The four enter the Hut, and the troops, freed from their paralysis, turn to assault the Hut, only to have the combined Legions of Heaven and Hell descend upon them. A horrifically bloody battle ensues, during which no one notices the stasis-field collapse down to surround only the Hut.
The first notice anyone gets of this is when the combined armed forces of Renegade, Mac, Woundwort, Raging Deadstar, as well as the fleets belonging to Agent's One thru Nintey Thousand Six Hundred and Five blot out the night sky and engage the forces defending the Hut...

[AgentZero]

StrategiaInUltima said:
Erm... no divine or unholy shield could even approach the strength of a modified Peacekeeper Command Carrier with hyperdimensional shielding. The Divine and Unholy is unique per universe, and thus count for only one universe (or in this case dimension too), but my shielding connects hundreds of dimensions with all their universes at the same time... meaning it's better than a Holy Hyper-Shield Generator.



Trust me, it's a very very very very bad idea to start arguing about the Divine with Angel. You'll lose. Badly. I know I have, many times.
The COMCA is gone, dude. Let it go...

[AgentZero]

One of Agent Three Thousand Four Hundred and Seven's battlecruisers takes a direct hit from a B-Destroyer and spirals out of the sky, landing squarely on top of the Hut, which still surrounded by the static field, was unable to do anything except sit quietly and get smushed. The battle stops suddenly as both sides realise it is over. The Hut is gone, as quickly and unexpectedly as it arrived. But it's short existence has given hope to many, and perhaps soon we shall see a new Hut, for just as the Cantina has been destroyed and rebuilt innumerable times, this saga is just beginning....

[AgentZero]

Just realized me and Angel were inside the Hut when it got smooshed. Bugger. Gonna take me some creative storytelling to get out of this one...

[douglas]

The combined Legions of Heaven and Hell find themselves unable to manifest until the stasis field collapses to just the Hut and immediate vicinity. During this brief period, the troops defending the Hut manage to inflict substantial wounds upon AZ and the three Horsemen. Within half a second after the field collapses, Petey notices the apparent teleportation being done, verifies with a few test 'ports that teraporting works again, and launches a full volley of terapedoes. The ensuing destruction is incredible, and yet carefully limited to the FB&G forces by very precise placement and explosive power adjustments of each terapedo.

[douglas]

Petey notices the battlecruiser on a collision course with the Hut well before it impacts, and directs a dozen terapedoes to cooperatively teraport it to the sun before it reaches the boundary of the stasis field.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Meanwhile, far far away, in the secret spaceyards of the fleet of the Independent Democracy of New Haven, the USS Strategia II is finished. It is an improved version of even the Peacekeeper COMCA, with the PK ship weighing in at about 200-250MT, while the new ship - built into a largish Sphereworld - comprises about 1GT, using a compressed quantum/chroniton hyperdimensional singularity as a power source, with shields connecting ALL universes IN EXISTENCE to each other.

It's prototypical FTL Core MkII is being tested,... and zips the massive DCOMCA (Dyson sphere Command Carrier, as the hull is nothing more than a Dyson sphere.) right into the battle zone. A first blast from the quartairy PDCs annihilates much of the northern hemisphere, taking GT's legions with it.

Fortunately, the Brown Tentacle Rectal Hospital was located on an artificial island in the Southern Arctic, and all Hut patrons had just come to visit RudyHuxtable to see how he was doing and if he could crap again or not.

There. Now the FCB&G is annihilated, unless it was located somewhere in Rio - which I for some reason sincerely doubt.

[Jack Simth]

Leaving his destroyed flesh behind, Jack has an encounter with death.

Death: "You AGAIN?!"

Jack: "So, are you going to try and keep up form, or have you given up after all these innumerable attempts?"

Death: "I think I'm done."

Death then walks away, while Jack builds a new body for his own habitation from scattered atoms. He then re-establishes the gateway between the hut and a nearby material plane. (After all, everyone was blowing it up from OUTSIDE; all anyone actually hit was the interface. Inside the bubble universe, damage to inanimate objects is quickly rectified by the bubble universe itself, and so only really affects the patrons & staff. In other words, Zero, no need to worry about storytelling your way out of being inside the hut when it got blasted. Sealing the primary demension simply isolated the Hut from that plane of existance.)

[NullAshton]

My B-Destroyers have 4 type V PDC's on them, so they can blast away any debris that would land on it. Plus, they can use themselves as a shield, with 3750 phased shield points and 1000 or so hull points.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Erm... Jack. Your bubble universe has long been demolished.

[NullAshton]

Petey saved the hut! Yay!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

PETEY?!?!? In case you hadn't noticed, Petey now comprises (or comprised) the roof covering of the structure in which the Hut was placed. And as I said, all patrons were down south with mr. Huxtable... so the peeps up north were just dimensional clones. Also, almost the entire Northern Hemisphere has been blasted away, so there is absolutely nothing left of the area where the Hut stood.

[NullAshton]

Actually that was a gate-clone. Yay plot-loops!

[Jack Simth]

StrategiaInUltima said:
Erm... Jack. Your bubble universe has long been demolished.


Not quite; it was ordered (by a politician - how often do those orders to the general public actually get done?), blasting had been accomplished with "normal" weapons at the site, and wanton destruction was done on both sides of the interface - but nothing attacked the pocket universe itself (at best, the seal might have severed the connection between). I might have missed something; if you find it, quote it to me.

[NullAshton]

New WarpDefender I's are stationed around the Hut in orbit in geosyncronous orbit. Around 10 stations in all are placed there. The WarpDefenders have 6 massive mount APBs, along with 8 PDCs, fighter and sat bays, along with mine bays and cargo holds, and with ECMs, combat sensors, and multiplex tracking. Zipper IV's, a large fighter, is then mass produced. Around 5,000 fighters are now patrolling the hut, armed with 2 phased shield generators and 3 antiproton beams.

[AgentZero]

Erm... Strategia....? The Hut was only located down the road from the Bar & Grill. If you took out the better part of the Northern Hemisphere, the Hut's gone, too. Congrats.

[TerranC]

*TerranC surveys the extent of the destruction, sighs, kneels down for dramatic effect and begins to say:*

You bastards! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

*TerranC then gets up and proceeds to wander this desolate planet of the destroyed taverns and eateries all by himself.*

[NullAshton]

The starbases in orbit use their yards, and create a new Won-Ton Violence Take-Out hut. Yay!

[RudyHuxtable]

Hey Hut Fans!

I'm taking quite a pounding here in the Hut! People are getting pokers in their naughty bits, blisters are forming on places that shouldn't be blistered and people in general are running in terror! What better time than now to introduce our very own Kid's Menu!

So far it's only got Xiatiburger and Phong Fries, but we're working in the lab to come up with other great malnutritious treats for the little beasties!



And hey, it's ungroovy to stick pokers in people. Blow up the Hut all you want, but no pokers in my bum, 'kay? I just had it lifted.



Coming Soon:

The WTVTOH Floor Plan and Tourist Map
Extradimensional Rollercoaster
Bumper Dreadnoughts
Pin the Tail on Atrocities


Check here for details!

Bon Appetit!

[NullAshton]

The starbases in orbit is capable of precision strikes on the planet. If you're outside the hut, my starbases can vaporize you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif The starbases are also making items for the bar as well, supplying them.

[General Woundwort]

[OOC - Woundwort logs back on and spends 10+ minutes tracking what happened between 9AM and 4PM PST...]

[OOC - Obviously, a lot of people here have a lot more spare surf time than I do...]

Ten glowing torpedo-shaped objects materialize next to the ten bases, and...

[OOC - who am I kidding? I don't have time for this nonsense! If Growltigger wants this bar, let him come get it himself!

Sorry to be cranky, class isn't going well and I'm not in the mood for this!]

[NullAshton]

The torpedo-shaped objects are promptly vaporized. Go target practice!

[mac5732]

unnoticed by all the mayhem around the hut, small ghostly creatures are missed by all the defenders of the "Hut", unbeknownest by the defenders, the minions of the inner sanctum have washed up into the new?/Old/? Hut and used their uncanny and ghastly talents to insert their inner sanctum concoctions within all the food stored not only in the Hut but also in all the Ships flying protection above it. In addition, they slowly pour an unknown liquid into all the beer kegs and bottles, the tops are put carefully back so they are unable to be seen as being tampered with. After their diabolical raid, the tt worshiping minions depart, flushed back to their haunting grounds. Within a short time all the patrons, defenders outside and above, are grabbing their stomachs and behinds, rolling around on the ground, while up in the ships, all screens are covered with a film exparated from their crews. Ambulances soon arrive and begin transporting all of them to MiPartsr4sale, which turns out to be a medical research facility dealing in providing various articles to needy recepients. The screams of the defenders were heard for miles around as they were slowly wheeled into the inniards of this formidable establishment..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Aris_Sung]

<Aris Sung walks down a road and comes to the intersection where these two waring houses...er, I mean eatery/hang-out joints are located. He looks at the devastation wrought from the numerous battles he read about as well as the many immense ships parked everywhere. At the same time, he wonders at what fun he's been missing. Too bad he forgot his gear at home. So he turn's around and heads back to his base to get his posse, gear, and other fun stuff to defend the hut. Defending one's territory from invaders is an honourable fight to join.>

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

StrategiaInUltima said:
...NEWS FLASH

A large group of very rare Xiati/Cue-Cappa crossbreeds, of which none were supposed to exist after the Genological Riots, have complained about a disturbed psychotemporal quantum field near the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut. Upon inspection, officials concluded that the restaurant had been replaced with a quantumchroniton illusion that functioned as the gateway between the material world and a pocket universe. Councillor Hackett, the councilman that ordered the investigation, demanded it be removed immediately, and the original Hut put back in its place.

When asked, Hackett stated that this occurence had nothing to do with his new Intragalactic Inc. TX-23 interplanetary sports car, or with the firebombing - which happened sometime later.

Growltigger Enterprises has generously offered to place tight security near the restaurant, if it ceded corporate control to GT Enterprises. When the hut proprietor, a mr. Huxtable, refused, another firebombing consumed the entire alcohol storage building next door, where the main ingredients for most of the establishment's drinks were kept.

GT Enterprises has refused to comment on this occurence.





The dimensional gate was Jack's, not mine. I just showed a recent news flash to the patrons in which a councilman had ordered the annihilation of the pocket universe and that had already happened, according to the news flash.




You see, Jack? Your pocket universe had already been demolished.
I'm sorry for you.

And AZ... I know the Hut is gone, too. I stated that the first shot from a quartairy PDC annihilated just about the entire fricking northern hemisphere.

[NullAshton]

Good thing I don't eat or drink anything at the hut yet... Also a good think scans are done on all food leaving or entering my bases. Now excuse me, as I go play a mod with worldships...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A 250MT Peacekeeper Command Carrier and its escort ships, all three of them similar 250MT COMCAs, glide slowly through interstellar space. Severely damaged from a battle with eight Scarran Dreadnoughts, they are now easy prey for any passing raider.

Today, however, it is not a group of raiders that the ships need to watch out for.

It's a fleet of five standard 25MT COMCAs packed to the brim with boarding marines.

The fleet slowly but surely closes the gap between them and the damaged PK COMCAs. The lead NH COMCA sends a message to the others.

"Attack."

The ships suddenly display an immense burst of speed and hyperjump a few kilometres right into the middle of the PK flotilla. The first few seconds of battle are the fiercest. The PK COMCAs try to keep the NH COMCAs at bay by frantically firing whatever weapons they have left and by pushing the engines far beyond their current safeties. Then the first NH COMCA locks on with a PK COMCA. Boarding marines stream out of a massive amount of freshly-drilled holes in the PK COMCA's hull. The fighting is fierce. Batch after batch of fierce marines charges headfirst into batch after batch of Peacekeeper soldiers. The PK troops start to lose the battle after having lost more than half of their soldiers. The battle is then quickly decided, as on the other ships. The newly aqcuired 250MT COMCAs are being towed away to a secret NH fleet facility.

A new DCOMCA will soon be ready.

[NullAshton]

I really want one of those worldships...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I really want to add DCOMCAs to Capship to help get the Strategia IV through the Deus Ex Machina field surrounding the FCB&G, to deliver a massively strong precision strike at it and annihilate it completely once and for all. And there ain't no Angel of Death that can stop me!

[NullAshton]

8 Null-Destroyer class battlemoons decloak in orbit around the earth with gravity dampners to prevent tidal effects, and are now guarding the hut. 21,000 phased shields, cloaking systems, gravitic sensors, ECM systems, combat sensors, multiplex tracking, a thousand shield points regenerated a combat turn, 5352 armor points, a repair bay, 186600 supply points, and 20 point defense lasers. Its main weapon is a null-space projector on a core mount, doing over 4K of damage, bypassing all armor and shields except leaky armor. 10 massive wave-motion guns are mounted on the battlemoon, each doing 700 damage. 8 massive anti-proton beams are mounted, each doing 175-300 damage. BuckyTube Gel plating is installed on the ship, 1750 kilotons.

[Growltigger]

A silence descends across the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut.. a tumbleweed skitters across the bar room floor on its lonesome journey, all is quiet, all round the house, nothing is stirring, not even that bloody mouse Narf...

A rather overmuscled, heavily befang-ed nasty looking (but yet debonair and handsome) tiger pushes open the door, blissingly shortcircuiting all the ineffective forcefields and dampening fields in the hut..

He stubs out the rather large havana he has been smoking (naturally, on the nearest member of staff) and cradles the steaming one-and-only red hot poker hand cannon in his armpit. He scratches his derriere blissfully and has a look round the wrecked hut.

"Ladies, please. As you recall, PROPER cartoon violence is conducted mano et mano, eye to eye, backside to backside, legion of byzantine killer mongooses to army of ninja killer micro-shrimp, and preferably with large hand weapons and an awful lot of attitude and extreme prejudice.

What we do not do is attack each other with large fleets of spaceships in what effectively is a boasting contest a la my todger is bigger than yours. Surely it is all about a healthy mix of linguistic creativity, imagination, elan and savoir faire with a measure of sexual tension to boot....

I am here to announce that Tigg-Scoff PLC WILL NOT be considering any takeover offer for the Won Ton Hut. We will instead be reinvesting capital in the cantina, with all new look FBW's (it stands for Fluffy Bunny Waitresses by the way), theme nights, theme fights, tribble wings and a variety of amusing and interesting anecdotes for your delectation and delight. Crikey, we have even persuaded Mac to bathe for the occassion...

I trust you will be all able to join us for a cheeky half or two..

PS of course, not making a take over bid does not mean that gratuitous violence may not occur!!

[tesco samoa]

You guys/gals need some coffee cups

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=4359139555&ssPage Name=STRK:MEWA:IT

[NullAshton]

This is for protection of the hut. And to vaporize anyone I don't like...

[Jack Simth]

(I was wrong? Oh well. In that case....)

Jack again rises up from the ashes of his own distruction, and this time Death doesn't even bother to make an appearence. He quietly rebuilds his body, and then surverys the wreckage of his creation.

"They broke my universe. They broke my universe. NO. I LIKED MY UNIVERSE. I suppose I'll just have to break theirs. Fortunately, I've got a few allies I can call a favor in from...."

Jack starts to form a Gate so he can call on his allies, but then stops immediately before the seal can get him. He blinks for a moment in confusion, and then a slow, evil grin spreads across his face as he analyzes what he saw in that brief glimpse of the shield.

"Well, looks like I won't need to call in that favor after all."

Jack immediately sets to work, building a small golem, who's only purpose in life is to fix such planar seals, then makes it independant and watches it work. It immediately tries to link itself up to the seal around the plane in order to reinforce and repair it. Unfortunately (for the golem), the trap in the seal takes effect, and erases the golem from the timestream. Unfortunately (for the seal) the golem was connected to it at the time, and so the trap continues on, removing the seal from the timestream. Unfortunately (for the local universe) the seal was tied in to the plane's very existance, and so the trap continues through strats to unravel the entire plane of existance.

Meanwhile, Jack produces a small demiplane about five miles in radius, and puts a temporary gateway between the crumbling universe and his own, stable universe.

"Anyone who wants off the sinking ship better hurry!"

With that, Jack heads off into the plane of his own creation, and starts rebuilding the Hut.

[NullAshton]

I wonder what a null-space cannon firing into that gateway would do...

Anyway, the g-spike engines of my battlemoon use their drive to fix this universe. Wooooooohooo!

[RudyHuxtable]

Hey Hut Fans!

I've just extended an underhanded olive branch to the Bar and Grill. Seeing as how we made so much revenue from recent sporting events (that was some Air Hockey Showdown, huh?!) I've offered to install a wormhole to bridge the two establishments and create one super joint, OR I've offered to buy them out. Either way, some great things are brewing!

I'll keep you posted. Until then, stay righteous!

Bon Appetit!

[RudyHuxtable]

It would appear that my overtures to the Bar & Grill are being ignored. They seem to think that it's groovy to continue this crazy intergalactic restaurant war!

Do you know what the Huxtable says to that, kids?

That's right! GAME ON!

Let the beatings begin all around!

And don't forget to try the new Mushroom XiChung Burger!

Bon Appetit!

[AngeldelaMuerte]

StrategiaInUltima said:
Erm... no divine or unholy shield could even approach the strength of a modified Peacekeeper Command Carrier with hyperdimensional shielding. The Divine and Unholy is unique per universe, and thus count for only one universe (or in this case dimension too), but my shielding connects hundreds of dimensions with all their universes at the same time... meaning it's better than a Holy Hyper-Shield Generator.



I know I promised I wouldn't but I can't help myself! (Sorry Tim) Strategia: The sentence 'Divine and Unholy is unique per universe' only serves to underline your ignorance of the Divine. Interpretation of the Divine may vary from universe to universe and from culture to culture upon a single planet but the nature of the Divine is constant throughout this and any other universes. The Divine is the force that brought this and the infinate number of other universes into existance. Nothing created by the minds and hands of men can compare to the power of that which can create Infinity. Your Peacekeeper Command Carrier is a mere trinket, a toy, next to that sort of power.

I'm going to stop now, because it's just been pointed out to me that all this 'Well my ship's got super-duper-uber shields!' is nothing more than a geeky form of 'My male reproductive organ is bigger than yours.' And that's just infantile.

[NullAshton]

Don't make me bring out my interlaced carbon-nanotube armor which redirects all energy attacks, and can also cloak without using power, and is uber-good at deflecting kinetic attacks. Basically, its super-uber, and can stop any attack.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Oh yeah? Well, to be frank, I think I can mod something in without any trouble that has a massive resistance, armor, unbelievably high emissive armor, a weapons strength that could be enough to take out your ship in one shot, Master Computer capability, massive standard + bonus movement generation, more combat movement, Quantum Reactor, needs no supply, has a cloak level of 999, is 0kT in size, costs nothing, etc.

Heeheeheeheehee.....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

pretty torn apart from a struggle with two miniature sharks in the B&G, Strategia enters.

Piece by piece.

"Ooh... my head. Say is that my arm? Hank..." tries to lift himself up to the height of the bar, a pretty difficult task with just one shoulder and a bit of arm attached to your head, while your neck happily dances away freely "...get me a Spatial Rift. Extra strong please."

a stray leg hops in.

"Not another one! I've already got five here! How am I supposed to know which is my real set of legs!"

outside the B&G, Angel has set up a cloning chamber, manned by her fluffy rabid killer rabbits, that churns out legs at a rate of two per minute.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

after pulling himself together (the extra-strong Spatial Rift was a powerful catalyst. No limb can resist the attraction of Hank's Spatial Rifts) Strategia stands up and burshes some dust off his (rather torn) gery maffioso tux.

"Guys... this is serious. They're throwing black holes around at the B&G."

as if on cue, Angel pops her head round the door and flicks in a rather large black hole.

"I feel... an irresistible attraction... must... enter... black... hole... No! No! Must... resist... psychic... black... hole! Must... resist!... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

that last word was uttered when the entire Won-Ton saw the keg full of hyperquantums - the key ingredient for a Spatial Rift - beginning to slide slowly but surely towards the black hole.

[Jack Simth]

Jack Points out the black hole to Hank
Jack "Looks like someone spilled their drink; you might want to mop that up."
Hank "Got it."
Hank grabs a rather unusual mop, and plops it right into the middle of the black hole, then swabs it around a bit; in a moment, the mop has soaked up the black hole. Hank then wrings the mop out over a bucket, and pours the resulting drink into a glass.
Jack "I knew there was I reason I didn't order any of those."

(Bad pun, I know, but hey - cartoon physics, right?)

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

meanwhile, cloned legs of Strategia keep hopping into the take-out at a rate of two per minute. Soon, the legs begin to consume more alcoholic beverages than the patrons - something deemed absolutely impossible...

Hank: "Er, guys, shouln't we do somethin' 'bout the leggies? I've almost no Speetial Rifds left in sdorage... somebo'y shoo' the damn legs!"

Jack pulls a pocket universe out of his vest and flicks it to the legs. He then fills it with Spatial Rifts. The legs hop towards it and disappear. Jack then lets the pocket universe experience its end.

Legs still hop in at a rate of two per minute, though.

[NullAshton]

The cloning machine is suddenly vaporized by a wave-motion gun from space. There, no more legs.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I thought no more "my COMCA is bigger than your COMCS" but cartoon violence instead... I know, it's been said by a B&G person, but it's much more fun this way.

Angel pops in, mourns her team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits, and sets up a new cloning chamber with a new team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits.

[Jack Simth]

Jack "Barkeep, how do you expect just-cloned critters to pay off their tab at the end of the night?"
The bartender consideres this for a moment.
Barkeep "You know, I don't rightly know. Well, I suppose we'll see - I'll just demand everyone in the bar settle their tabs; can't be racist, after all."

Bartender "Everybody - it's time to settle your tab!"

Jack pulls out a single copper coin, and the bartender looks at him disgustedly.

Bartender "You haven't actually ordered anything we charge for, you know. Why do you sit in a bar and drink water, of all things?"

Jack "Well, I haven't been able to feel the effects of alchol since the first time I escaped the reaper. I can drink as much as I like, but I don't feel any of the effects - good or bad. So I just take water. Here, at least, you name them nicely."

The bartender goes around collecting payment. In the case of the cloned legs (as they don't have cash), he charges each an arm and a leg - as they don't have an arm, he substitutes another leg, charging each pair a leg and a leg. This leaves them rather put out, as all they are is a leg and a leg. He then places a few phone calls, and sells the separated cloned legs to a medical facility, which pays for them extravagantly, and grafts them to those unfortunates who were missing legs.

For some reason, this makes the legs that hadn't ordered yet very, very hesitant to order drinks, and they keep whispering of the event for as long as they stay, so the incoming legs hear, and leg it out of there as fast as possible.

The bartender uses the funds to order more materials, of course, and restocks. He then starts asking the more intact patrons to cover their tabs.

[NullAshton]

Aaaaaaah, the hut has died!

[Jack Simth]

NullAshton said:
I wonder what a null-space cannon firing into that gateway would do...

Anyway, the g-spike engines of my battlemoon use their drive to fix this universe. Wooooooohooo!

(A one-liner to fix a 3-4 paragraph post which ties itself into a previous post? Please.)

Glancing at the portal, Jack notices it still goes somewhere.
"Wha? Someone manage to stop the trap? Ah well, I guess I'll just call in that favor anyway, like I had originally planned."
Jack waves his hands briefly, and then stands there talking, apparently to the air.
"Yeah, is Yaranthozniaha available?"
...
"Great; could you put him on?"
...
"Yaranthozniaha, it's time to pay up one of those chips I won from you at our last game."
...
"Hey, you know I never gamble for cash; after all, what good is money to such as us?"
...
"I need you to turn up the entropy rating on a particular plane: " Jack lets out with a long string of liquid and oddly musical sounds "I don't have the all-surpassing patience to wait on natural decay (http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html) in this instance."
...
"Very. I want the big freeze and associated proton decay to happen in about an hour."
...
"Five minutes till I can start to see results? Good. See you at next millenia's game."
With that, Jack briefly waves his hands again, turns around, and stares out the entryway portal. After a moment, he produces a small golem and sends it through; he then changes the channel on the TV, and it shows what the golem sees.

The golem looks up at the sun, and watches as it goes out, no longer being able to maintain any amout of energy. It watches as a nearby battlemoon crashes into the ground, able to neither maintain any potential energy in it's orbit nor enough thrust to fight gravity. Strangely, it doesn't explode on impact - it no longer has the energy necessary to do so; it all turned into useless waste energy. It's power systems simply couldn't keep up.

After a moment, the golem watches as the crumpled hull plating just seems to evaporate, as its heavier elements lose their binding energies and decay to elementary particles.

At this point, Jack casts a spell to make an announcement in the doomed plane:


"Better Hurry - that ship, she's a sinkin. All carbon-based life-forms will want to evacuate before carbon bonds can no longer maintain their structure."

[NullAshton]

NullAshton takes the time to quickly program a device powered by a zero point energy generator.. The device increases the gravitational energy of the entire universe, causing everything to collapse in on itself, into a large black hole before any further degration can occur. The device, now occupying another dimenson, immune to the increased entropy, rewrites the laws of the universe to remove entropy from increasing again, and sets everything else back to normal. The universe rebangs, and quickly rearranges itself to what it was before entropy was increased. Everyone is alive again, all the battlemoons are in orbit, and the sun is still shining. The device stays floating in those other dimensions, in case it is needed again. Everyone remembers what happened after enthropy was increased, however none of the effects are visible.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia sets himself down next to Jack.

"So Jack... you can't feel the effects of alcohol? Well then, you should try one of my own home-brewn Dimensional Rupture specials... I've been negotiating with Hank about giving him the recipe, but I think that a fleet of COMCA tankers full of nothing but alcohol is not NEARLY enough payment. Wanna try one? You'll be sure to feel the effects... you do know the Drushocka are totally immune to the effects of any narcotic compound? Well, I gave a Drushocka a sip once, and its eyes were launched from their sockets and it gave a scream loud enough to shake the moon it was standing on apart. When I got it on board, all it said was "Another... Another...". Well? Wanna try one?"

[NullAshton]

Drushocka are immune to narcotics?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

They're silicon-based life forms... and btw it's just a plot device http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[NullAshton]

Ah. What type of plot device? There's good plot devices and crappy plot devices. Star trek shows usually use the crappy kinda.

[RudyHuxtable]

Howdy, Hutties!

I've been working in the Labs, scouring the universe for tasty treats, and as it turns out I've come up with the Hut's newest dessert:

The Federation Fruit Cake

I'm offering 100 free meals at the Hut to the person who can guess what's in it!

Bon Appetit!

[NullAshton]

Federation people?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Top-of-the-line Fed scientists?

[Ed Kolis]

Citizens of the Fruit Federation from Space Food Empires?

[NullAshton]

Lol... The FDA! Food and drug administration!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

"Call them Roms like the Feds did and puree them all for gel pastries." - Thoughts of a certain klingon in a rather disturbing book by Diane Duane(sp?). Althought it must be noted that nobody was either puree'd or turned into a gel pastry.

[Jack Simth]

StrategiaInUltima said:
Strategia sets himself down next to Jack.

"So Jack... you can't feel the effects of alcohol? Well then, you should try one of my own home-brewn Dimensional Rupture specials... I've been negotiating with Hank about giving him the recipe, but I think that a fleet of COMCA tankers full of nothing but alcohol is not NEARLY enough payment. Wanna try one? You'll be sure to feel the effects... you do know the Drushocka are totally immune to the effects of any narcotic compound? Well, I gave a Drushocka a sip once, and its eyes were launched from their sockets and it gave a scream loud enough to shake the moon it was standing on apart. When I got it on board, all it said was "Another... Another...". Well? Wanna try one?"


"It's not the chemistry that causes it; it's a fundamental independance of mind from body; not that I really liked the effects even when I was subject to them. Besides...."
Jack takes a clean straw, and pokes it into the dimensional rupture. It pokes back out in four different directions, all of which are straight.
"That thing can't be good for anyone."


RudyHuxtable said:
Howdy, Hutties!

I've been working in the Labs, scouring the universe for tasty treats, and as it turns out I've come up with the Hut's newest dessert:

The Federation Fruit Cake

I'm offering 100 free meals at the Hut to the person who can guess what's in it!

Bon Appetit!


"Well, it's a quantum hypotnuse blend of trans-polarised carbon nanotubule fibers and nano von-neuman molecular bonds held together by a blend of gravitons and gluons."

"Unless, of course, you found some other recepie."

[NullAshton]

I say the fruit cake is made out of strings. Everything is made out of strings.

[RudyHuxtable]

NULL ASHTON WINS!!!

LOL

I was actually thinking Superstring when I wrote that post!


Yay STRINGS!!!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

RudyHuxtable is a CAT!

[Kamog]

A new dessert? Sounds good, I'll try it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Jack Simth said:

StrategiaInUltima said:
Strategia sets himself down next to Jack.

"So Jack... you can't feel the effects of alcohol? Well then, you should try one of my own home-brewn Dimensional Rupture specials... I've been negotiating with Hank about giving him the recipe, but I think that a fleet of COMCA tankers full of nothing but alcohol is not NEARLY enough payment. Wanna try one? You'll be sure to feel the effects... you do know the Drushocka are totally immune to the effects of any narcotic compound? Well, I gave a Drushocka a sip once, and its eyes were launched from their sockets and it gave a scream loud enough to shake the moon it was standing on apart. When I got it on board, all it said was "Another... Another...". Well? Wanna try one?"


"It's not the chemistry that causes it; it's a fundamental independance of mind from body; not that I really liked the effects even when I was subject to them. Besides...."
Jack takes a clean straw, and pokes it into the dimensional rupture. It pokes back out in four different directions, all of which are straight.
"That thing can't be good for anyone."



"Who ever said it was? Oh, of course I forgot to tell you... The Drushocka in question was left in an uninhabited trinary system in an immobile ship to see what would happen. We left, and detected a quantum rift - when we came back the system had 354 suns, apparently from 96 dimensions."

[NullAshton]

Free takeout orders, and 100 free meals... All I need are lotsa free drinks, and I'm set for a long time!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I'll also put in a free Dimensional Rupture for you.

Thinking of a ad line for the DR:

"Ever tried one of Hank's ultra-uber Galactic Cores? Ever had ten in a row? Well..... this is better."

And then beneath the ad pic in tiny indiscernible letters:

"StrategiaInUltima Inc. is not responsible for any damage caused to you, your firends, family, property, or dimension. Use at own risk. May cause irreparable damage to the dimensional boundaries when used. Excessive use can lead to other dimensions. Do NOT feed this drink to a Drushocka."

[NullAshton]

NullAshton places some dimensional stabilizers on himself before trying the Dimensional Rupture. Mmm...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Three hours later. The Hut is abuzz with animated conversation, good meals are served, teeth are broken on Fried Cryslonite Twinkies and everybody is generally having one heck of a good time.

Suddenly, NullAshton looks wierdly into infinity, lets out a scream and is sucked into an inside-out dimensional gateway. Even the jukebot stops (is that bot still alive btw?) and everybody stares in a quiet menaced way at where NullAshton was sitting a moment earlier.

"Well... I guess that concludes my dimensional weapons test. Time for a visit to the FCB&G. Time for payback..."

Everybody slowly moves their menaced stares away from NA's previous position and moves it menacingly at Strategia, who calmly gets up and leaves.

NullAshton was found, very harassed, and for some reason dressed in only a loincloth, three days later on a small island in the Southern Oglionick Ocean on Paraam V. The primitive Paraamians, who have yet to invent metalworking, picked him up and started worshipping him as a god, until he disappears in a dimensional rupture again several years later and reappears in the Hut just after Strategia walked out.

Everybody fixes their menacing stares on NullAshton again, who has no recollection at all of what happened.

"What?"

[NullAshton]

Hmmmm, I thought I had dimensional stabilizers on me...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

It's a powerful pandimensional weapon. Dimensional stabilizers stabilize only something like fifteen, sixteen dimensions at the same time, max. Pandimensional weapons will still have effect. You should use a pandimensional stabilizer. Then it will taste wonderfully.

[Aris_Sung]

Does transdimensional-technology stabilizers work? That's all they were selling in that last town over.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Transdimensional? Well, four to six hundred max. You will need an entire new dimension full of those if you want pandimensional stabilization, as there are googolplex to the force of googleplex to the force of googolplex dimensions, and that was only at last count. I may have missed a few quadrillion.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia walks back in.

He doesn't look good.

He looks like he's been severely harassed by a T-Rex.

"I've been severely harassed by a T-Rex. They've got that darn Barry out in front again. He wouldn't let me in. He even turned down my Dimensional Rupture! Can you believe that?"

a quick glance at the faces in the Hut, all turned towards Strategia, reveals that they do believe it.

"Hank... get me a Galactic Core. Extra-strong. Don't hold back on the hyperquanta."

[NullAshton]

NullAshton starts to work on better stabilizers. At the same time, he starts construction on dimenisonal weapons.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Spare yourself the trouble, NA. Here's a pandimensional stabilizer. Oh, and any future Dimensional Ruptures served in the Hut for non-B&G patrons will be low on protoquanta, so as not to elicit a dimensional trans-shifting reaction along the third c-axis of the 54th temporal plane.

And yes, I'm making all of this up.

And NA, when you have those pandimensional stabilizers online, I'll give you a free Dimensional Rupture.

[NullAshton]

Don't need it, already got those done. Gimme another free one http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

'kay. Got enuffa them, ya know. Gotta whole new dimension full of 'em. I call it my "backup storage tank for emergencies".

In fact, everyone, here's a free pandimensional stabilizer and Dimensional Rupture on me.

And no, I won't be selling Hank the recipe anytime soon.

[NullAshton]

NullAshton starts doing tests on the DImensional Rupture, making sure his stabilizers will work.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NA, when you're performing an action, please italicize. Everybody else does it as well. Makes it easier to see when there is an action/event in progress or when someone's talking.

[NullAshton]

NullAshton pours a bit of it into a testing chamber. He then procedes to drink it, and nothing bad happens. Yay!

Up to you if anything good gappens http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NA looks strangely at a point three meters in front of him in the air. Then his eyes grow to be the approximate size of a largish sombrero. The top of his head is being pulled into the dimensional singularity at his center of gravity. So are his feet. Eventually, he looks like something of a human donut before he vanishes with a smallish bang. Two seconds later, however, he reappears, safe and sound.

"You should sell this to an amusement industry, would go great as a rollercoaster."

Strategia hopes NA isn't mad at him for making him say three words.

edit: Happy NA?

[NullAshton]

Yes. Yes I am mad. Here's what I would have said.

"You should sell this to an amusement industry, would go great as a rollercoaster."

[RudyHuxtable]

Howdy Hut Fans!

As it turns out, profits for the Hut are up by 7,293%.

I'm starting to get swamped with work, and would like to hire a general manager. I'm taking applications.

Now, preferably the GM would be a woman, mid-20s, stunningly attractive and a lover of dorks.

I'll settle for one of you!

Bon Appetit!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Perhaps you could take a leaf out of the B&G book... I believe they use clones of actresses and other celebrity bombshells with tweaked likings as FBWs... perhaps time to set up a little cloning operation, no?

[tyrrian]

other than that being a woman part, i fit the bill... can i be your new manager? i'm kidding, of course. i doubt the continual explosions, dimensional rifting, and near-apocalyptic events would be good for my health. but i would like a Nova please, with a side of Phong Phries.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I think Brick won't like your taking Phong Phries... and btw they're on the children's menu.

No, I was thinking more, like, clone, say, Hilary Swank and get her to be GM. Would also cut down on costs as she wouldn't need a bodyguard if she gets harassed. And she'd be an excellent asset in a possible future war between the Hut and the B&G. (The Second Bar War - BWII. BWI was already terrible, BWII will be even worse. I suspect carnage everywhere. Not to think about BWIII... Man I can't even imagine what weapons will be used to decide the BWIII, though I do know that BWIV will be fought with rocks and sticks... who am I (almost) quoting here? Those who know get a free Dimensional Rupture! (stabilizers included))

[RudyHuxtable]

Okay so anticipating Bar War II, I hear one yay for Hilary Swank.

I'm a fan of Salma Hayek myself. Sexy accent, ample "assets" on both ends, and short. I like em short. I sent her an email an hour ago.

Any other female requests? I'll try to get Hil and Salma to work together... scantily of course.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

*DON'T* let them know... just clone them off and tweak their brains a bit

[RudyHuxtable]

OHHH OHHH

Strategia smart! Me like Strategia idea! He brains!

Okay so two clones. They're cooking right now. In the oven. 375 degrees.

Any other female clones guys? lemme know. Frankly I'll make an entire staff, who will work for free, of beautiful women. Celebrity and non-celebrity. In the oven.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

375 degrees... Centigrade or Farenheit?

[NullAshton]

Bar wars II? Ooo...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

It hasn't started yet. I imagine the poor sods over at the B&G are still recuperating from BWI (also known as the Great War or the Drench War) and that their defenses are weakened and their offensive troops low on morale... hmm..... TO BATTLE!!!!!

[NullAshton]

NullAshton prepares his fleet for war. 20 B-Destroyer IV's form the front of the fleet. 10 B-Destroyer III's are on the edges of the second row, with 10 P-Blaster I ships in the center. 400 large fighters, Zipper VI's are launched from underground bunkers, zooming around the fleet.

I'm ready. Anyone else ready?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A group of five COMCAs emerges from a nearby warp point. Immediately behind them are ten Motherships, which immediately start launching well-equipped Starfighters - 150kT fighters. Need I say more? - which take up positions next to NA's fighters. The extra defensive perimeter provided by this gives NA's fleet enough additional firepower to blow an average planet to dust, and still have some left for a little target practice in the afternoon.

Ten Massive Traders equipped with lots of shielding drop out of the WP, loaded to the brim with Armies and assorted other ground combat squadrons to fill up space - and with the Armies weighing in at 250kT each, and Artillery - the strongest GC unit in Capship - is 50kT, and approx. 50kT is used by commanding officers (required), so you can imagine the strength. Also, as Massive Traders are 4000kT in size, and they have an inherent extra cargo carrying capacity of 10MT, well, you get the idea - and move to formations around the planet, selecting formations and positions that allow for easy troop dropping.

The poor sods don't stand a chance.

[NullAshton]

What appears to be 8 moving moons approach the fleet as well. They are not moons, in fact, they are 10 megaton worldships. Each has 10 massive wave-motion guns, along with a core mounted null-space cannon. These take up a defensive sphere around the fleet, with the fire arcs providing a complete 360 degree firing arc around the fleet. The extra 2 worldships take positions at the front of the fleet, giving additional firepower in front.

Wonder what they'll bring against us? Light cruisers?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

In the depths of space, fires the size of entire countries light on the back of a massive object. With an immense ponderousness, it shudders...And moves. Accelerating constantly...Uh...Check that...Accelerating like a drunken mongoose with a migraine, the planetiod N.S.N. Murphy's Law heads for the scene of the battle, at a speed that occasionally exceeds that of light. Sometimes, even by a large margin.

[Narratio]

Meanwhile, sitting in front of the big screen TV with my large phries and wings, I note that the referee is about to blown his horn to signal a foul. I wonder who will be blamed for the rip in space time?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Microsoft.

[NullAshton]

The laws of the universe says that light always moves at light speed. Sorry, you can't move faster than light like that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Err... what? I didn't move faster than light.

[NullAshton]

Talking to narf.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Of course you can. You just need to substitute Newtonian physics for Einstienian physics with a little space-time manipulation.

[NullAshton]

These rules are set in stone in the universe to prevent bad things from happening.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Set in stone in THIS universe. This DIMENSION has many universes. Other dimensions are capable of supporting FTL travel, time travel, and McDonalds. And what does Jack Simth do all the time.....?

[NullAshton]

If you travel faster than light, then bad things start to happen like I said. You catch up with your own light emmisions, which would build up under newtonian physics, and you would vaporize the front of your vessel. If you tried shooting any energy weapons, what shot the energy beam would get hit by the energy beam. Optical devices would cease to function as they cannot travel forward to the axis of movement, due to going faster than light. It would be impossible to see behind you, because of you moving faster than light. Light would have more energy relative to you, so any energy weapons fired at you would do exponential amounts of damage. If you're moving 10x the speed of light, then energy weapons fired directly at you from in front would do 11x times the damage. The good side is that noone can see you coming http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The Picard Maneuver

[NullAshton]

On Star Trek:Starfleet Command III, I use tactical warp all the time. Aim at a target, activate it. Drop out of warp right on top of them, while unleasing a full salvo of quantum torpedos to remove the shields, then tear apart their hull with pulse phasers. If the enemy has disruptors... They shoot before you drop out of warp, and either shoot in front of you, or behind you.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I haven't got SFC III, just version I - I was talking about theoretical knowledge from the Omnipedia and a TNG episode where Picard goes back to the place where he destroyed that Ferengi ship and another Ferengi has found the Stargazer and tricks Picard into coming aboard, so he can use some sort of strange device on him to make him believe that he is back to when he executed the maneuver and thinks Enterprise is the Ferengi ship.

If that sounds like I'm a total ner Trekkie, you are mistaken. I am merely a Trekkie, and somewhat of a nerd.

Also, there appear to be some strange discrepancies regarding the Stargazer - from what I know Picard served on board the Stargazer as a lieutenant or something when it encountered the Ferengi ship, which then fired at the Stargazer and killed the captain. Picard took command, which wasn't really necessary because he already was in command of the ship at the time. He then went on to blow the crap out of the Ferengi, but the Stargazer was too damaged to keep flying so Picard abandoned her behind a moon and left it behind. He then went on to command it for 22 years before captaining the Enterprise when it finally was decommissioned. Later, as I said, Ferengi found it and used it to try and kill Picard.

[NullAshton]

I believe Picard took command of the Stargazer during an attack by the Nuuyad(can't remember the exact name). He was the second officer at the time. The first officer was in a coma. Picard kicked Nuuyad butt, saved the people of some planet, went back home. The first officer was transfered I believe, and Picard was given command of the U.S.S. Stargazer. During the Ferengi attack, he sustained heavy damage, and created the Picard maneuver. A short 1 second warp burst, creating 2 images of the ship. The vessel shoots where the vessel was, not where it is currently, and the Stargazer opens fire with all weapon batteries and destroys the vessel.

Now then, about the Bar Wars II...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I haven't heard that version of the story yet, I thought Picard assumed command of the Stargazer during the battle with the Ferengi.

[NullAshton]

Nah, he was already in command.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

...And he commanded the Stargazer for 22 years, right?

But, as you said, let's get down to business. BWII. Who's throwing in military support besides NA, Narf and me?

[NullAshton]

10 P-Blaster II's join in, each with 8 heavy APBs and quantum reactors.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I can do better.

In deep space, twenty COMCAs move to reinforce the five already present in orbit around Sol III. One foolish GT Enterprises enforcer ship tries to stop the COMCAs - the tiny War Assault Cruiser is vaporised before it can even raise its shields and complete its message.

The COMCAs are all equipped with SYs, Repair Bays, FTL Travel Cores, Tachyonic Acceleration Disruptors, Advanced Gravitational Matrices and Advanced Hyper-Disruptors.

As soon as they arrive, they start refitting the five COMCAs already present to this new design.

"Well then..... I say we need two more people in this, and then we'll have enough to storm the B&G. And Narf? Are you still sending in the NSN Murphy's Law? If you don't we need three more people. Oh, and I think the standard Won-Ton security forces can also be counted on, so....."

[NullAshton]

Construction is started on the USS Spatial Distortion with Temporal Shipyards. This massive sphere is the size of Jupiter, and equipped with spatial compression technology inside. 100 massive wave-motion guns are mounted along the hull.6 massive circular antiproton phased-array are on each side, capable of targeting anywhere within 360 degrees. 10,000 point-defense guns are mounted on rotatable raised turrets, offering maximum visibility and accuracy. A null-space field generator is at the core, capabable of creating an area of null-space anywhere within 10 kilometers of the surface of the ship. Neural networks run throughout the entire ship, creating a class 9 AI, which operates the null-space field generator with precision. Gravity sensors are equipped along the surface, capable of detecting a single atom. This is powered by a massive ZPE reactor.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Deep inside the mind of a modder, construction is being started on the new DCOMCA.

A massive sphere of a ship, it cannot be stopped by anything short of a massive black hole. It is build from a Dyson Sphere - the Sphere was there, be it for habitation or purely ship construction, and then they went and made a ship out of the whole bloody sphere - and has shielding capable of withstanding the center of a small black hole indefinitely. Its weapons are unsurpassed, as its massive 500TT of size allow for a LOT of weapons batteries.

.....But wait, hadn't that B&G b**ch Angel said something before about "my ship is bigger than your ship" simply being something like "my frankfurter is bigger than your frankfurter"? And by the way, it's getting kinda tedious. So let's stop at your P-Destroyers, OK?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Yeah. At least I have the grace to make the Murphy's Law a wreck. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

*Put*Put*Putter*Put*Sputter*........*BANG*.....*Pu t*

[NullAshton]

It's P-Blasters. 8 heavy anti-proton lasers of DOOM! And as much shielding as my other destroyers, I tend to keep those standard.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NullAshton said:
10 P-Destroyer II's join in, each with 8 heavy APBs and quantum reactors.



It's not P-Blasters, NA. You don't even seem to know your ship names.

Aah..... that's why my fleet's sensors detected colony ships, supply tankers and science vessels in your fleet's formation!

And since you'd probably send a Frigate to deal with tough defenses, and you'll let a COMCA handle a small group of satellites, I suggest we have a vote for command of the orbital fleet and ground forces.

The candidates so far (to become one you need at least one ship on the scene):
-NA, who doesn't even know the names of his own ships.
-Me.

Narf is not included in this list yet because it's not clear whether or not the NSN Murphy's Law is present yet. Last thing I remember was it having supposed engine trouble - the chief engineer filled it up with regular unleaded instead of premium or something.

[NullAshton]

I got the P-Blaster confused with the B-Destroyer. Similar names... Oh, and bad news on the NSN Murphy's Law, it got hit by a freak spatial anomaly and hit the center of a blackhole.

8 Transport III's enter formation at the center of the fleet, each carrying a full load of infantry and Origami III's.

Some ground troops.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Erm..... Origami III?

And I already had landing ships in place.



Ten Massive Traders equipped with lots of shielding drop out of the WP, loaded to the brim with Armies and assorted other ground combat squadrons to fill up space - and with the Armies weighing in at 250kT each, and Artillery - the strongest GC unit in Capship - is 50kT, and approx. 50kT is used by commanding officers (required), so you can imagine the strength. Also, as Massive Traders are 4000kT in size, and they have an inherent extra cargo carrying capacity of 10MT, well, you get the idea - and move to formations around the planet, selecting formations and positions that allow for easy troop dropping.

[NullAshton]

You can always use more troops http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif My infantry can shred people even without weapons.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

BUT WHAT IS ORIGAMI III?!?!? Geez, are you trying to create massive sculptures so the enemy troops will stand in awe so ours can slaughter them without opposition?!?

edit: oh and my Armies have masses of Heavy Armor and Artillery, so your troops wouldn't be that much of a help NA..... no offence

[NullAshton]

Just the name for it... Light troops were named Origami because paper is so fragile, and the name kinda stuck with it.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ah, so you're volunteering to land your troops first to soak up damage, while my massive armies pound away at the enemy while receiving no damage..... How noble of your troops!

[NullAshton]

No... I'm volunteering to add my forces to your forces for larger forces!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

And your forces leave the transports first, right?

No, just kidding. I think it's best if my Heavy Armor Armies unload first, as they can take lots of damage.

And I haven't heard any votes about to whom the leadership of the Hut Defense Forces should go.....?

Those on the list can't vote. If you vote and then supply ships, your name will come on the list and your vote will be forfeit. Anyone can supply ships or units. Anyone who does so will be placed on the list.

We move out once we have the combined forces of five people's militaries supporting us.

[NullAshton]

8 Trojan I's join the fleet, each with a full load of Zipper VI's.

More forces http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Trojan I's? Are they some sort of Trojan Rabbits? And Zippers? What do they do, automatically zip your pants up after you've been to the toilet (you have to be fast with the whisking it back in or else you'll be a eunuch)?

[NullAshton]

Zippers zip around really fast http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif And the trojans are named that because they carry the fighters around. The trojan horse...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

No. Trojan Rabbit.

[NullAshton]

No... Trojan Horse.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

No..... Trojan Rabbit.

When King Arthur lay siege to Troy with his small group of knights they constructed a wooden rabbit which contained almost all of the knight's squires. The Trojans took the thing into their walls..... and then launched it back out again with a catapult.

Makes sense, no?

[NullAshton]

Mine is the horse. Now then, we need people to vote.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Where has Narf gone? For that matter, where has EVERYBODY gone?"

the two look around the Hut to see noone is there, not even trusty Hank.

"Erm..... I think we might be in a spot of trouble here, don't you think, NA?"

the ground begins to rumble ominously. The rumbling gets louder and louder.

"Well NA..... I'm leaving it to you to think up what that rumbling sound is. Here, have another Dimensional Rupture."

[NullAshton]

NullAshton hops in his stellar manipulation destroyer, opens a warppoint, zips through it, and the warppoint then disappears.

I'm going for now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[narf poit chez BOOM]

NullAshton said:
I got the P-Blaster confused with the B-Destroyer. Similar names... Oh, and bad news on the NSN Murphy's Law, it got hit by a freak spatial anomaly and hit the center of a blackhole.

8 Transport III's enter formation at the center of the fleet, each carrying a full load of infantry and Origami III's.

Some ground troops.


"Stupid black holes. It takes hours to get the scratches out!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[NullAshton]

Hehe... 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.'

Soon my personal ship shall join us http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Narf, why don't you simply let the Murphy's Law reach Earth orbit so you'll be an eligible candidate for command of the Hut Forces?

[NullAshton]

Because something will go wrong.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

So? Leave the Murphy's Law behind and take a ship with a safer name..... like for example Universal Instability or something

And why don't other people supply their forces? I mean, even Mr. Huxtable could bring in forces if he has them hidden away somewhere.

[NullAshton]

Bring in 1,000 escorts!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

With names like Universal Intability, Warp Core Breach, Hyperspace Rift, and such.....

Btw, how are you coming on Redesign/HyperMod?

[NullAshton]

Good. I got the theoretical techs completed.

What about the name Predictably Damaged?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ooh Ooh mesa liken thet name!

Certain Suicide
Bridge Crew Insanity
Friendly Fire
Old Soviet Nuclear Power Station
Nuclear Waste Landfill
Dirty Bomb
Decoy
Shoot Here
Martha Stewart
Homing Beacon (you know, for seekers)
IRS

[NullAshton]

Osama Bin Laden

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

GW Bush Sr
GW Bush Jr

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Methinks, the B&G has died out..... they haven't posted there in a looooong time.

[NullAshton]

Maybe. I hope not!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Why not? Then we can take them on easily.

[NullAshton]

But there's not as much blam.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Oh, suuure..... you just gotta blam them FOR them.

Fictional scene:



The Heavy Armor Divisions, escorted by NA's Origami troops, move through a street nearby. One of the B&G'S military offshoot bases lies in ruins. Woundwort was caught in the blast. Wounded, but not severely so, he lifts himself up from the wreckage and grabs an intact submachinegun lying nearby.

Strategia, overviewing the wreckage, spots Woundwort lifting his weapon. In response, he grabs the heavy machine gun slugn over his back and points it in Woundwort's direction.[/i]

"Well Woundwort? Looks like you're losing....."

"We're going along just fine, thank you."

"I think not. The Hut military is approaching the B&G. The remnants of your military and what's left of your patrons is preparing for a last stand there. My Artillery divisions will flatten the place in half an hour."

"You're lying. Barry'll eat all your troops."

"Barry is dead, Woundwort. The Mechanized Infantry divisions dispatched him hours ago. His corpse has already been dumped into the Pacific."

"The velociraptors will kill your tank crews."

"They're all gone too. Now, time to die."

Woundwort reacts quickly. He open up with the submachinegun and sprays Strategia's general area with bullets. Strategia ducks for cover behind a piece of building debris.

Strategia lifts up the heavy machine gun and aims it at Woundwort, who reacts with another burst of fire. When he stops to reload, Strategia opens up with the heavy weapon.

Loud explosions in rapid succession tear through the air. High-caliber bullets fly towards Woundwort. The former second-in-command of the B&G forces gets hit over twenty times. In the end, he falls down.

He is most definitely dead.




See? Enough blam.