Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

[Growltigger]

The camera pans up a windy road, just past a deserted barn and down a gravel path into a rather nice green valley with a lake.

A large starship descends through the clouds, a voice can heard saying "Mr Power Man, controlled Phaser bLasts for excavating if your please", actinic lights shoots down and a carater is excavated. The starship descends into the crater and a shimmering field surrounds the ship. The image changes...

The neon lights above a large timber framed building (built in a Bavarian style) are switched on..... "Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller" flashes on and off in the summer sky...

The doors are flung open by a large feline wearing a dinner jacket and black tie... He is surrounded by some rather lovely young ladies, all wearing hot pants and crossed bandoliers (and not much else). Some of them are in classic Bavarian serving wench outfits...

"hmmmmm" says the great kat, "swanning off round the galaxy is all well and good, but sometimes, you just need that old cantina experience"....

A large T-Rex, also DJ clad, ambles up to the parking lot, ready to abuse customers and crap in their vehicles....

"Let the party begin, the first 10 customers get free booze"

[ July 02, 2003, 13:44: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ]

[primitive]

The Primitive one, taking a rest from the endless slaughters on the hill (KOTH), wanders the dessert seeking a place of silence for his meditations. The time had come to seek the answers to some of the eternal questions confronting mankind:

Does God exist ?
What are the meaning of life ?
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Are those real ?

Finding a perfect place of solitude, the Primitive one sits down in Lotus position, smokes the holy weed and opens his mind to the void.

Free beer – free beer – free beer – free beer – free beer

Satisfied with the answer, Primitive finds his rusty (yet pointy) spear and hikes to the new cantina. Good to be back Tigga http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigger]

Good to see you Primitive, please put that rusty (yet pointy) spear down and have a large vat of top quality super string lager with some spicy tribble wings to boot...

All on the house...

And please meet our new FBW's, in addition to all the clones we have here, we have managed to employ Cindy Crawford, Famke Jannsen, Halle Berry and quite a few other top totty as FBWs

Take your pick

[Erax]

Chief Engineer Erax comes up the turbolift.
Sees the Phong's Head has become a cantina again.
Goes back down the stairs (turbolift gone).
Erax comes back in his usual clothes, finds himself a table, and remembers some wise words :

"I was driven to drink because of a woman. And I never got the chance to thank her."

[ July 02, 2003, 17:11: Message edited by: Erax ]

[primitive]

Thanks Tigga, I think I try my luck with Halle Berry. Then I can at least get the answer to the 4th question http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Congrats on your face lift, Mucho macho.

[Growltigger]

free beer for your Erax too.. why dont you brag the Gisella Bundchen FBW and see what you can get up to in the turbolift....

Just dont break the thing, its bearings are a little shaky...

Damn, being the captain of a galactic battleship is fine, but nothing beats running a boozer, hey, we even now have a dartboard and a pool table and a bar billiards table!!

[sachmo]

Word.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Above the cantina a black spaceship with purple decoration and glowing engines slowly decends into the parking lot. The docking platforms slowly roll out and secure the ship in place and the crew pour out. One particular traveller steps out. Dressed in black bondage jeans and a trenchcoat with a Talena Atfield clone on one arm and an Otep Shamaya clone on the other, he orders the crew to deliver a note to barry. The disorganised rabble step over and greet the gigantic t-rex, who with his spindly arms reads the note and proceeds to tuck a serviette into his t-rex sized tuxedo and covers them in a nice chinese sauce before worlfing them down, followed by a large burp!*

"Thats for losing me so many ships in the Bar Trek Thread!"

*RD walks in and admires the new cantina's decor. A massive oak, polished bar with gold metal accessories lies to the left with every kind of liqour behind it. To the right lies the stairs to the "executive suite", the inner sanctum with everything inside decorated with gold trim and the previous brig, that is now converted into a medievil dungeon for Those who defy GT's supreme rule! Raging Deadstar quickly cuts off the darkest corner and puts some silk purple curtains around, leaving a narrow opening into his sanctuary. An apple juicer, some UV lights, a few thrash and death metal band posters, a large purple sofa, a large surround sound system and of course a 3d holographic computer to play his latest turns on seiv.*

"Ahhh Sanctuary! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Glad to see Primitive back with us! I aquired a bit of a resource excess after Growltigger destroyed a lot of my toys in the bar trek thread, so the first months tab is on me!

*Raging Deadstar relaxes happily as he falls into a philosophical disscussion with the two attractive clones he arrived with and sips his apple juice, could this be bliss?*

"Glad to have the old place back GT! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif "

[Rollo]

Rollo the Fearsome was bored on top of the hill. He went on a little plunder and pillage spree and left business to his lackeys.

Ooh... "Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller" flashes on and off in the summer sky...

The Norse King quickly swings his old plunder ecsort around and lands in the parking lot. "Hey Barry. Long time no see. And don't you dare..." Rollo flashes his axe.

Woohoo, free booze. Oh, and Famke Jansen, come here and sit on my lap.

Ah, it's good to be back..

Rollo

[ July 02, 2003, 19:31: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[Timstone]

Everyone in The Cantina is relaxing and is drinking a nice cup of tea (hey, it's teatime). When suddenly the whole of The Cantina is engulved in a bright flash of light. The people close to the flash are temporarily blinded by it (it'll take them about one day to recover completely). When the light has died out the patrons (the ones who have active eye vision) can see a strange distorsion hanging in midair. Sometime a bolts of electricity escapes from the wirlpool and wreaks havoc on the nearest table or metal ting. As the hole subsides somewhat, RD and The Cat immediately recognise the phenomena as a rip in the space-time continium. The first action that comes to their mind is... DUCK!!! As they dive for savety under the sturdy tables in The Cantina, the rip gives birth to... Timstone and his wacky Time Travelling Gearbox (TTG for the connoisseurs). As Timstone and his TTG emerge from the disruption a loud bang, a huge shockwave and a small firestorm follows the genius, incinerating everyone who isn't shelterd of protected by someone (something) else.
"Yehaa, another Cantina!! Another holy place, a place of power, a place to relax!"
He parks his TTG on one of the tables close to his exitpoint from space and time. As he sets foot in The Cantina he reaches out and gracefully helps his beloved GF on the ground, then he kneels and kisses the ground, the blessed soil, the very foundation of The Cantina.
"Home... at Last!"
He immediately walks over to RD and The Cat, greets them properly and introduces them to his GF. When Timstone and his GF want to take place at the same table as RD, they see two small piles of goo.
"Grose, what the heck was that?!"
RD stares at Timstone and his GF with a bit of anger.
"Those were my clones of two very beautiful women!"
"Well, clone them again. Now give me something to drink, it's been too long since we had a drink together."

[Erax]

Erax hears a muffled bang outside the turbolift. He looks worried for a moment, then remembers he doesn't have to fix everything that breaks down around here anymore.

Unless...

A while later, Erax leaves the turbolift dressed in a gray jumpsuit and cap. A dirty rag is tucked into his back pocket. His left hand holds a toolbox and his right hand is around his Gisele clone's waist.

"Hey Tig, does this place have a handyman ?"

[Gryphin]

My therapist told me I had to visit. How she found out about this place I don't know.

Where is mac when a guy wants to steal a pizza.

Wonder if I can be a partner again

Nice fangs Tigger, Looks good with the Tails

I'd like a pizza with sausage, tribble wings, and mushrooms.

Oh and a pint of what ever they gave Primitive

[ July 02, 2003, 22:54: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[mac5732]

The old sexy, suave, maucho, wizen old geezer gentleman walks thru the doors, whats this, ITS back, well by all the .... Where's the Liz Hurly Clones he yells at the furry feline standing by the door. As the older member moseys over to a far cornor he stakes his claim to an old familiar table and recliner, ahahahah, its good to be back, Taz you ram-muffigan, how about a brewski, He then calls over a FBW waitress and orders his usual, bacon, scrambled eggs, rye toast and some hash browns. As he waits he sees the Old Gryphin struttin past the table, Mac waves at the flashy youngster who waves back, Mac then bends down and takes a large cheesy pizza out of his back pack, and with a evil grin, yells again at the Gryphin, As the Gryphin turns around, the oldster lets fly WAAAPPPP all over the Gryphin... AAAAHHHH he mumbles its great to be back, no place like home huh Gryphin... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas Mac

[ July 03, 2003, 03:22: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Taera]

*looks at the big title above the cantina* what number is this one? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

here's a thought - Growltigga runs the show, and the thread is like a cat - has too many lives http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Kamog]

New FBW's and free beer? Sounds like a fun place... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Taera]

NEW free beer you mean http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

((EDIT: EEK, i wrote BEAR http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ))

[ July 03, 2003, 06:40: Message edited by: Taera ]

[Lurker Above]

nuts, number 11 (by my poorly contrived, slightly wonky, 3rd grader's math). ah well. this being my first post, a big hello to everyone, i'll be your residant lurker and person-who-doesn't-know-what-they're-saying for the next little while, in the unlikey event of an emergency, offer more free booze http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

[Taera]

lurker is, like, that thing with six legs that loves burrowing and hatches from a half-meter tall egg right??

((Starcraft flashback))

[Taera]

umm this is not THe Nonsense Thread.
Whats there to drink for a minor bug? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Growltigger]

Hey hey hey, partying is my business, and business is good!

Erax, the cantina desparately needs a handyman, the job is yours, your interview for the job is to see how "handy" you can be with that Gisella Bundchen clone. I expect plan of attack, order of engagement and a pictorial summary of the result...

OK, cue the oompah band, cue the latin and broadway dancers, cue the jumping monks of jerusalem, cue the morroccan gnou dancers, cue the party,, cue the free booze, cue Mac's colostomy bag, cue the Liz Hurley clones for him, cue the balloons, cue the disco ball, cue cleaning off all those crappy death metal posters RD put up... LETSSSSSSSSS PARRRRTYTTTTYYTYYTTYY

Where is Taz behind the bar when you need him?!

[Rollo]

Yaaayy! Barfight!

*Rollo storms towards the kitchen door and swings his mighty axe in an 360° arc, bisecting all of the tiny cowboys. Then he continues to chop them into tiny pieces.

Hey, Taz! I guess you can put stew on the menu for tomorrow.

[Growltigger]

Ooohhh dont be too nasty to the cowboys Rollo, you should use non-lethal forms of fighting first. Swinging a battle axe is a little final (if typical Germanic)...

Cant you just thump them a bit first?

[Rollo]

alright...

*Rollo pulls out The Shovel of Cowboy Thwacking and beats the cowboys into pulp...

...wait, that's not right either, is it? (sigh) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

my apologies...

*Rollo hides his axe and shovel behind his back and uses puppy eyes: I didn't do it...

[Gryphin]

I wonder where those cowboy bits will turn up next. Think I'll stick to plain pizza

[Atrocities]

Hey http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif the bathroom is a lot cleaner in this joint. No wild and bizzar growth going on in here! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Rollo]

New on the Menu: Pizza Western Style (with ground beef) and tiny Custer hats on the side

[ July 03, 2003, 13:30: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I heard the news about the new Cantina and made the long journey accross the wastelands to see if the new Cantina has a table by a fake window with fake water trickling down. As I approach the new building I see 'Rex' standing outside playing with some of the vehicles. "Hi Rex, I reach into the large bag of 1001+ avatars and pull out 4 new ones.. Do you think Gt will like these?"

hmmm, sounds like a food fight in there, maybe you should escort me in to make sure these new pics don't get soiled before Gt sees them. I walk into the Cantina with Rex standing beside me. Rex Looks over to Gt, then Stomps his foot and everyone (including me) are knocked down on their buts by the concussion.

I quickly get up and walk over to Gt, Hi Gt, Did I hear you mention Gisele? What do you think of these?..

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235227.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235227.gif) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235241.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235241.gif) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235255.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235255.gif) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235295.gif (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057235295.gif)

BTW, do you happen to have a nice table by a fake window with fake rain trickling down it?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Atrocities]

Hey David if those are the ladies that you are bring to the party then alow me to buy you a drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Does any one have 10 ones for a $10.00?

[Growltigger]

David, the table is over there, there is atap to adjust the amont of water trickling down the outside to suit your tastes.

BTW the "Rex" is called "Barry", dont upset him.

I like the avatars just fine, 4 Giselle Bundchens is probably rating highly on my list of things to do before I die...

Right, house rule, no lethal violence against the staff, on pain of red-hot pokering...

Rollo, come over here!

[Stone Mill]

The Ghost of PHAT Elvis grabs a seat in the back, and anxiously waits for kareoke night.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[tesco samoa]

hmmm....

Tesco's clone drops by, looks out at the patio... Yep Tesco is still sitting there with the tomatoes....

[Erax]

Plan of attack ? Order of engagement ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Sounds awfully bellicose to me, Cap- I mean, Boss. My job is to fix things, not break them.

But I have something here that, ah, I've been working on in my spare time. (takes a much-folded peice of paper from his pocket) It's a, um, maintenance checklist for the Gisele clone. And after it's done, you'll see on the back there, there's a list of, er, tests to be run before the clone is declared fully functional. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

So... is this plan OK ? When can I start ?

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok hears about the new Cantina opening up and he comes running in through the doors yelling "CANTINA!" in typical Freefall form. See this page and read it all to understand. (http://freefall.purrsia.com/default.htm)

Little does Ragnarok know that whilst he is running into the Cantina the layout has changed a bit and he runs too far in and runs smack into the wall. "Doh! I should learn the layout for running in here like a maniac!" Ragnarok peels himself off the wall and orders a drink. He then walks back out and grabs his new lady friend, Kristanna Loken, (One fine piece of lady;) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ) and walks over to RDs table. "Long time no see my friend."

Ragnarok then walks over to his new usual table and fixes it to match his old one. "Ahh, it is good to be back in a Cantina."

[Erax]

(aside : do any of you know the Star Wars Cantina song ? (http://hometown.aol.com/manitsas/cantina.html))

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar slowly shakes his head and staggers around a bit. Eventually he gets up recovering from Growltiggers cricket bat, thinking about revenge he decides otherwise! He wanders back over to his decorated corner and begins a disscussion with Timstone about borrowing the time travelling gearbox...*

*Eventually he gets permission and sneaks up behind ragnarok. With a quick setting he slynks away as the gearbox transports ragnarok far backwards in time. He eventually arrives at his destination and falls out the sky, right into a viking battle, axes flailing and horned helmets clanging!*

*Raging Deadstar finally sits back in his corner and relaxes, sipping on his apple juice and disscussing what features he should add to his next line of clones!*

"Also Rollo, Buy a keg of beer on my tab! All Hail the new king. Also i'd be asking Growltigger about an executive suite for your highness complete with "special treatment"!"

[Timstone]

I hope you brought back my beloved gearbox unscathed.

[Gryphin]

Finishes my pizza, Goes back over to the old mans table and places a chess board down,
what cha say mac.

[Ragnarok]

After Ragnarok falls completly to the ground in the middle of the Viking fight he is now the center of attention. All Vikings look to him and they look at each other once more and look back to Ragnarok. They begin charging at Ragnarok as Ragnarok exclaims, "Oh shiznit!" He begins to run as fast as he can across the land seeking shelter. But no weapons are being fired at him and he wonders why.

He continues running until he reaches a large castle with a moat around it. But the door is shut! He begins banging on the door to let him in before the Vikings catch him, but alas, they will not open the door to such a stranger in odd clothing. The crowd of Vikings finally reach the castle as well and they surround Ragnarok. But finally one of them begins to speak; "You are Holy One, no?"
Perplexed Ragnarok replies, "Holy One? I do not know of what you speak." in his best Viking voice. "You fall from sky. And survived. You must be Holy One."
Ragnarok realizing he could use this to his advantage says, "Oh yes, I am your holy one. What can I do for you?" The crowd begins to cheer and they come lift Ragnarok off the ground and they celebrate with wild parties late into the night.

When morning comes around Ragnarok explains that he must return to his home land so that he can better watch "his people" from above. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif The Vikings are saddend to see this time come but realize it is necessary. So Ragnarok tells them how they must do so. They load up on a large sail boat and begin rowing as fast as they can. They begin going so fast around the globe that it is slowing the earths rotation down. The suddenly in a bright flash Ragnarok and the boat along with the hoard of Vikings return to modern times. The Vikings are shocked at what it looks like compared to their old world.

Ragnarok proceeds to tell them that this RD person is attempting to hurt their "Holy One" and they are furious. The Viking Warriers storm into the Cantina and begin chasing RD around with their axes trying to behead him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Fyron]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Hey http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif the bathroom is a lot cleaner in this joint. No wild and bizzar growth going on in here! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yet...

[David E. Gervais]

Rags, did you know that there is a man outside selling polaroids of your friend Miss Loken?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1057272332.gif

Not to worry, the man doesn't seem to understand that when he sells the pics he is also parting with the negatives. (but I'd watch out for those tell-tale 'Flashes' in case he tries to capture another batch.)

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

Wipes the pizza from my face
Drops it in macs beer
Takes the tribble wing lodged in my muustache and ueses it to prop macs mouth open.
Pours a secrete, "Fire that burs for 50 years sause" donwn his throat.

[Growltigger]

Wahey, this is brilliant. We have had the new Cantina open for all of 30 seconds and Gryphin is already enacting cartoon violence on Mac.

Growltigga pulls out his trusty cricket bat and proceeds to ding RD across the head as hard as possible.... whilst the wretched metalhead is staggering, GT borrows a couple of cymbals from the oompah band and whams them across RD's kopf too BOINNNNGGGGGGGGGG

See Mac in the corner, GT pulls out his trusty red hot poker handcannon (ooh I missed that) and proceeds to shoots a bolt up the old chap's backside... sizzle sizzle sizzle.....

Yipeee BAARRRRR FIGGGGHHHHTTTTTT

The kitchen doors open and a horde of diminutive cowboys come charging out to join into the fray

[mac5732]

Mac turns to the side, takes out his new Deridium metal pants insert, guarenteed to stop any and all fire poker brand type weapons http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif , looks over and turns to the Gryphin and the chess board, sure Gryph I'm for a game, But wait a second, Mac then disconnects his colostomy bag which received all of the Gryphins firey concoctions, looks around, locates the GT evil Twin, who is disguised as the beloved old Gt, and lets fly, splat, dripppppp dripp, all down the front of the frizzy felines contour... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Thought you could fool and old fool did ya you varmint, how dare you impersonate the real GT... now everyone will be able to locate and dicipher which one you really are, sniff sniff, sshheeeesh,, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
Mac turns back to the chess board, Pawn to K2, Mac orders brewskis for him and the Gryph from one of his Liz Hurl Clones.....

just some ideas Mac

[Gryphin]

KxP - Knight Takes Pawn
GxP - Gryphin Takes gulP
GxP - Growltigga Takes Phool

[ July 04, 2003, 03:51: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[Kamog]

Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Rags, did you know that there is a man outside selling polaroids of your friend Miss Loken?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Miss Loken? Kristanna? The beautiful, beautiful T-X? She is the BEST! Incredibly strong, brilliantly smart, radiant smile, charming voice, stunningly beautiful... I'm going to go see Terminator 3 as many times as I can, just to see her.

How much for the pictures? I'll take them all!

[dogscoff]

One wall of the Cantina suddenly explodes, the explosion triggering frenzied punk music. As the dust settles, an impressive figure can be seen in the ex-wall's space, backlit by ultra-high-intensity floodlights. It's dogscoff (of course) and he's looking pissed off.

"You had a Viking bar fight without ME?!?!?"

the enraged dogscoff wields some kind of new weapon. He fires off a few rounds to demonstrate it's capabilities. Processed meat flies liberally around around from the muzzle of dogscoff's patented Spam Cannon tm.

*Splat* A lump of Spam hits Raging Deadstar in the face, and RD is immediately overcome by an urge to give his bank details to the son of an ex-president of Nigeria.

*Splotch* Mac takes a faceful of processed meat and feels strangely compelled to boost his e-business' turnover by purchasing a database of over a million targetted email addresses.

*Splunge* GT is struck by the flying foodstuff and is overwhelmed by his desire to acquire non-prescription viagra at wholesale prices. Nothing new there then.

As dogscoff's Big Entrance Cleanup Crew repair the structural damage to the building, the man himself takes a seat and orders a cold pint of Hoegaarden.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Kamog:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Rags, did you know that there is a man outside selling polaroids of your friend Miss Loken?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Miss Loken? Kristanna? The beautiful, beautiful T-X? She is the BEST! Incredibly strong, brilliantly smart, radiant smile, charming voice, stunningly beautiful... I'm going to go see Terminator 3 as many times as I can, just to see her.

How much for the pictures? I'll take them all!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yup, that's her. And legs for a mile! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif She's almost 6'0" without shoes on! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Speaking of her...Where did she run off to? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif She was with me before RD sent me back to that Viking fight.

[Timstone]

My, my, this place is rapidly deteriorating.... just like the old place. I like it. Yeah!
Oh, RD, you can borrow my TTG whenever you need it. It might create some comical encounters. As long as you return it in tiptop shape. If not, I personally bring you to the pits of Hell and leave you there in the capable hands of Mrs. Bucket (or should I say Mrs. Bouquet?).

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Timstone:
If not, I personally bring you to the pits of Hell and leave you there in the capable hands of Mrs. Bucket (or should I say Mrs. Bouquet?).<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I've tired leaving RD in the pits of hell but it didn't work. His GF is part time owner down there. Or at least she was according to RD whenever I Last threw him down there. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey be thankful i had the decency to attempt to rescue you Last time! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif And didn't I rescue you from their Eventually? My girlfriend can be extremely witty and evil when it comes to punishments, so unless rags wants your lovesacks to be dripped in oil, set on fire and then prodded with a cattle prod before being castrated and disposed to a scottish butcher i'd be careful!

*Raging Deadstar thanks to the viking horde has no urge whatsoever to give away his account details. However he has an extreme urge to run for his life! Luckily the vikings see Rollo's amazing display of "cowboy handling" and rush to his service, after all Last time i checked Ragnarok was at the bottom of the KOTH Tournament http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif *

*Raging Deadstar then turns his attention to Ragnarok. Setting the Time Travelling Gearbox for one way he smiles as it trnasports Ragnarok back to Medeveil england. Ragnarok drops from the sky again and hopes to pull off his "i am god" trick again, but is promptly captured and tried for witchcraft. As the time portal closes RD sees Rags being dragged down the street to be burnt at the steak or put through the water test http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *

[Gunther]

* Raging Deadstar then turns his attention to Ragnarok. Setting the Time Travelling Gearbox for one way he smiles as it trnasports Ragnarok back to Medieval England. Ragnarok drops from the sky again and hopes to pull off his "I am God" trick again, but is promptly captured and tried for witchcraft. As the time portal closes RD sees Rags being dragged down the street to be burnt at the stake or put through the water test * <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">... And a mysterious, tall, cloaked, oddly familiar figure is leading the crowd.

"I've been waiting for you, my young friend. We meet again, at Last."

[ July 04, 2003, 19:21: Message edited by: Gunther ]

[Lurker Above]

Wow, this place gets replys fast. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .

But yeah, Taera, Lurkers, in Starcraft at least, are the buggy burrowing things with the spikes, but a Lurker Above is differant. Lurkers Above are... some sort of drow eating, cave dwelling, dry-land octopus thing. I think (not often). It's a D&D thing. Related to darkmantles, for those who might know. But yeah, I'm babbling.

Anyways, I took the name because I figured, hey, I've been a guest here for what, 4, 5 months? and I'll probably just lurk alot once I DO register, so it fits, ne? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Thus, in an effort to leave as many people as confused as humanly (or otherwise) possible, I give you a quote, but not who it's from (not that it matters, I'd be willing to bet alot of you have heard this before):

"It's a strange thing, but every sentient race has it own Version of these sweedish meatballs. I suspect it one of those great universial mysteries, which will either never be explained or which would drive you mad if you ever learned the truth."

[Timstone]

Timstone is enjoying the sight of the ususal bar fights, evil plots and the regular patrons as suddenly his eyes are pulled towards a dark cloaked figure. Timstone gets the feeling he knows that guy. He thinks and yes:
"Yeehaaaa! Gunther is back!!"
Timstone rushes to Gunther and slaps him on the back. He immediately gives him a brewski and askes him to sit down and drink some more brewski with him and his GF (whom he helped to escape).
A little astonished he gives in and walks with Timstone to a table. and they begin to talk about the adventures they had from the time they had Last seen eachother.

Edit:
Gunther: Me and RD didn't took you from 19th century Germany, but from 19th century Poland.

[ July 06, 2003, 10:50: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
...after all Last time i checked Ragnarok was at the bottom of the KOTH Tournament http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well at least I'm in the KOTH Tournament. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif *Hint, Hint* (Join now and you'll get to play me at the bottom of the hill. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

As Ragnarok is being carried to the water hole to be tried for witchcraft he is beginning to think that this time traveling thing is getting repetitive. Ragnarok begins chanting stuff to try and scare the people from putting him in the water but it has no effect. They then tie him to a stake (that they will burn him on if water test fails) and toss him in the water. After a few minutes the bubbles stop coming to the surface and the people start cheering gleefully. As the camara pans to the background you see a small figure running away from the small pond with hands bound. It is Ragnarok! When they threw him in the water he bagan to work on his Hudini(sp?) act and he managed to hold his breath long enough to get off the poll. He then swam underwater until he reached the other side of the pond.

After pondering how to get back to his time he gets close to the screen and grabs a pencil. He begins erasing where he is and draws the scene back just this time back at the Cantina. Ragnarok then almost throws the pencil away but he realizes he could use it. He walks over to RD and asks him if he has seen this pencil before. RD nods no and Ragnarok then takes it and eraces RD from the scene. "That should fix that problem," says Ragnarok.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Just as Ragnarok finishes rubbing out Raging Deadstar Timstone sneaks up behind Rags and pours piant thinner all over him. Ragnarok slowly begins to blend into himself and eventually becomes a large soppy mess on the floor. Taz spins over and cleans it up leaving no trace of ragnarok. Timstone then quickly goes over to david gervais and asks him to redraw RD. Raging Deadstar is redrawn and is back, but with two problems. RD has a bill to pay for Mr Gervais's art work and Timstone seems to be getting rather comfy with his girlfriend on RD's couch"!*

"Better stop them before it gets soiled!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

Aren't I the sneaky one, heh? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Yep Ragamuffin isn't going to be pleased with you when he gets back http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*Raging Deadstar decides to hook up his phased shield generator to his corner and a couple of quantum torpedoes, just so no-one THINKS about tarnishing his sanctuary*

I think i'll go outside and talk to barry, good luck http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ July 06, 2003, 17:04: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

RD, as usual, you're the smart one of the two of us...
Now where did I leave that handy dandy catle prodder? I must have something to defend me with. Oh, now I know I just let my GF defend me. She has a black belt (or something) in KongFu. Yeah, I love those feisty women!

[Raging Deadstar]

Hehe me too. Currently my girlfriend is one belt off a black belt in judo! Always got to watch what you say though, one slip of your tongue and... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Kamog]

My girlfriend is a 10-th dan black belt in karate, jujitsu, and taekwondo, and she's also a shape-shifting, cybernetic, psionic, magic-using ninja from the future! No, just kidding. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Loser]

I'd guess horseplay would be alarmingly different if the one party knew how to fight. As I have difficulty imagining letting the girl win, I really can't wrap my mind around a situation where I couldn't keep the girl from winning. Maybe girls who follow are martial discipline are different about horsing-around and maybe their fellows are just different guys.

Just not something I've thought about before...

[sachmo]

ook ook ook ook ook oooooook

[Gunther]

Mmmm. Excellent beer, this. Timstone, I never went away, the Cantina did. I was left behind and went through many adventures. I'm a different man today and no longer hunt witches, but I had to scare your friend Rags.

And to clear everything up, yes, you found me in Poland, but I was born in 19th century Germany.

Gunther buys beer for Timstone, Timstone's GF and RD.

[Growltigger]

Sheesh, I go away for a few days and all hell is breaking loose in my establishment!

Right, Mac, you managed to hit the inflatable GT I left to watch the premises. I dont appreciate aerial colostomy bags so I am afraid your Liz Hurley clone visiting rights must be suspended.

Rags, RD, Timstone line up please. They do and the great cat gets out his trusty mashie niblick and dings them all in the happy sacks. Rags gets dinged again for being a bit too surreal for his own good (castles of people where he is the great one!, I should stop him drinking cherryade)

Cripes, I just get the decor sorted and a bunch of vikings wreck the joint. Oh well, GT dons horned helmet, scalemail, fake beard and changes his name temporarily to "Snorri". Grabs large long axe and wades into the fray shouting "Valhalla aint got nothing on the cantina"

[Timstone]

Hey, it's good to have you back Gunther!

Crap, GT that hurts! I might want to use it some day...

[Growltigger]

Sorry about that Timstone, but you know what they say about abusing a Dutchman a day to have a happy and full life. It is sometimes a bit boring constantly assualting Americans all the time!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Talking about assaulting Americans, maybe Sachmo should get a visitation from the red hot poker hand cannon for (I think) nicking my handle to make a facetious remark...

Now where is he? sizzle sizzle

[General Woundwort]

A stocky fellow with a beard walks in, wearing what appears to be a flight suit. Looking around, he spots Growltigger and walks up to him.

"Good evening. My name's Woundwort, and I have a business proposition for you..."

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, sounds interesting General Woundwort. Tell me what it is but be advised, my contracts are written in blood, and not my own I might add. The cantina is not for sale by the way

By the way, I recognise you from somewhere, did I not see you in a pie I had for dinner recently. If so, I must say you have survived mastication rather well...

and dont tell me about the flight suit, this is going to be painful, I can tell

[Erax]

Kamog : You probably already know this, but here goes :

L.O.K.E.N. : Lifeform Optimized for Killing and Efficient Nullification.

I just thought you should know.

Hey Boss, how about those plans I showed you ? Do I get the job ? Seeing as Mac won't be using his LH clones for a while, we could get some, ah, repair work done on them.

[General Woundwort]

Your sense of humor is as sharp as your incisors. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

No, rest assured, I do not wish to buy your establishment - but something somewhat related. There is a group of threads nearby - the "Starfury" threads to be precise. There's not much going on down there now, but I am confident that once Starfury is released, there will be a thriving community of pirates, merchants, mercenaries, and other assorted space scum in that sector. Such space scum will need a watering hole. My proposition is, I would like to open a franchise of the Phong's Head in that sector, licensed and owned by your esteemed person, operated by me.

Interested?

[Timstone]

A question General: "How the heck are you going to pay for such a contract?! Don't forget GT is a formidable lawyer. What do you say?! You don't know what a lawyer is?! well I'll be damned a lifeform without a clue what a lawyer is, this is the first I've ever met. Well, let me explain it to you in simple layman terms. He's a man without a live as we know it, he's actually dead, he lives for the sole purpose to leach on the pain and missery of other to cause even more suffering for the lot of them. Now you understand? I hope you survive the first meeting. If not, rest assured I'll attend your funeral of whatever."

[General Woundwort]

Lawyers? What use are those creatures? This is a simple proposition, based on mutual interest. If he accepts, he accepts. If not, I'll not be offended at it. And if he accepts, it is my responsibility to live up to my side of the contract - I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps. It's my word and his. I know the worth of his words. I wish to show mine.

So go drink your drink and let me finish my business with Mr. Growltigger here.

[Timstone]

Quote:
I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps.

Hmm... be afraid if you fail, be very afraid.
Ah well, I'll tkae the brewski you offered and be off again. I just thought it would be fair to show you a glimpse of the darker side of our good old Cat.

[Growltigger]

General Woundwort, that is an interesting proposition. Bear with me a second whilst I just clear off some unnecessary "chaff" in the cantina.

GT walks over to Timstone, knees him in the testicles and then smashes him in the face with a large chorizo. As the scrawny Dutch chap hits the ground, GT jumps on his ankles and kicks him in the ribs.

Cheeky sod

Right General, as a lawyer (and therefore the oil that greases the wheels of finance and industry), you understand that I would like to document and regulate everything between us, so that we both understand our respective rights and obligations.

Right General, what you are talking about is a franchise right aren't you, Interesting concept and I suppose we can come to a mutually acceptable agreement as per rental of FBW's, licence of Cantina format, percentage of profits, IT rights vis a vis using the "Cantina" trade mark and format, side agreement detailing minumum level of sex and violence, supply agreement re all alcoholic beverages, loan of SMURF team and rental agreement for ninja shrimp, giant squid, killer mongooses etc, visitation rights for senior management, full recourse and optimumm control rights in case of default, margin ratchet linked to PIBOR/LIBOR currency movements based on a revolving tiered scale.... hold on

Timstone stirs before being swiftly kicked in the head by Growltigga.. right, where was I?

franchise cantina to be operated on a joint venture basis, with cash streams and up-level funding demarcated and paid into a trust account of which I am the sole beneficiary, your family held hostage for good behaviour and profits, usual penalty clauses including loss of digits and genitalia for minor infractions, governing law to be English, as modified by cantina precedents.

Yep, seems to be all here. Do you want to read the small print or just sign here?

[ July 08, 2003, 16:57: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[General Woundwort]

Right, let's look this over...

rental of FBW's <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Probably cloned in this case, but given the clientele expected, perhaps we should wait and see what dominant species would be required for them.

licence of Cantina format... IT rights vis a vis using the "Cantina" trade mark and format<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Of course you would get full billing as the licensor - the name I had in mind was "Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector" or something similar, pending your approval of course.

percentage of profits<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am quite reasonable in this regard, only requiring the upkeep for my planned Starfury Merc Cruiser http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

side agreement detailing minumum level of sex and violence<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What could be simpler? The expected clientele would provide all that and more. I'm more worried about them exceeding the limit and damaging the property.

supply agreement re all alcoholic beverages<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have a friend who specializes in this sort of thing. Even brings cases of Romulan ale across the Neutral Zone every now and then. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

loan of SMURF team and rental agreement for ninja shrimp, giant squid, killer mongooses etc<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Security, a must.

visitation rights for senior management<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You were't planning on not visiting, were you? It wouldn't be a true franchise without your esteemed presence. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

full recourse and optimumm control rights in case of default<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have every intention of fulfilling my obligations, but if by some awful mischance something should happen (my ship getting hit by an Abbidon AC, for instance), all due measures need to be taken so that the enterprise may function in my absence. Agreed.

margin ratchet linked to PIBOR/LIBOR currency movements based on a revolving tiered scale<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes... yes... [looks up "PIBOR" on UWW (Universe Wide Web) palm pilot while Growltigger is busy]
Fine, no worries.

franchise cantina to be operated on a joint venture basis, with cash streams and up-level funding demarcated and paid into a trust account of which I am the sole beneficiary<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">As I plan to take my expenses "off the top" from the raw profits, this is perfectly acceptable. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

your family held hostage for good behaviour and profits<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sad to say, I have none (comes with being a stocky philosophy geek who plays SEIV http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif )

usual penalty clauses including loss of digits and genitalia for minor infractions<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[checks med insurance... yep, regeneration procedures covered] No problem.

governing law to be English, as modified by cantina precedents.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">As the English would say, righto old chap.

Originally posted by Growltigger:Yep, seems to be all here. Do you want to read the small print or just sign here?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Just one point. There is a band that wants to play in the cantina [jerks thumb over shoulder to a gaggle of black-eyed, white-skinned, gilled creatures carrying their instruments]. They got kicked off of their original gig on Tatooine, and are willing to work cheap. I think they might provide the right... atmosphere... for the cantina. Or, barring that, the first victims.

Other than that, I think we have a deal. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Erax]

Boss ?... Growltigga ?... About the clones and the handyman job ?...

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, I am off to a meeting so shall reviewe your comments and revert in due course.

Erax, the handyman's job is yours, I like the plan you are developing, please can you safety proof ALL FBW's, especially the Kylie Minogue, Ines Sastre ones.

Be in touch chaps

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Woundwort, I am off to a meeting so shall reviewe your comments and revert in due course.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'll be in the corner booth with a Drachenbrau. Take your time.

[Erax]

OK, Boss !

Hmmm... so much to do...

Erax rounds up all of Mac's LH clones and sends them to the Cantina's 'safe storage area', together with all off-duty FBW's and the Space Marine clones from the old Bar Trek thread.

But there's something else that has to be fixed first, Taz is not at the bar ! Erax quickly drags out a bar-o-bot from the broom closet, starts it up and leaves it on duty.

There, the robot will hold the fort until Taz arrives.

Now for the clones. I need some time to think about this. Hmmmmm...

Erax wanders off to the unknown spaces in the back of the Cantina.

[sachmo]

Cuuuuuuuujoooooo, Cuuuujooooo, Cuuuuuujoooooo!

[Timstone]

GT: Happy to be of service anytime!

[Growltigger]

Probably cloned in this case, but given the clientele expected, perhaps we should wait and see what dominant species would be required for them

I think you will find that the FBW's are compatible in pretty much any format. That is the charm of them, and why their rental rates are so reasonable

Of course you would get full billing as the licensor - the name I had in mind was "Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector

I can live with that

I am quite reasonable in this regard, only requiring the upkeep for my planned Starfury Merc Cruiser http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmmmm, usually I would not expect director's emoluments to include maintenance of pleasure craft. Subhject to an agreed cap on rental expenses, I am agreeable to this being an operating expense of the business, subject to recourse to that vehicle as collateral for the franchise

What could be simpler? The expected clientele would provide all that and more. I'm more worried about them exceeding the limit and damaging the property.

Sex and violence and beating up Dutchmen and Americans is all part and parcel of operating a cantuna. I think you need to pay extra to have our fully damage proof furniture. I will write that into the contract

I have a friend who specializes in this sort of thing. Even brings cases of Romulan ale across the Neutral Zone every now and then. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

I will allow a minimum level of guest beverages, but you will appreciate that all drinks and foodstuffs need to bougth and sourced through the Cantina

Security, a must.

It is, but I tend to find a red hot poker hand cannon and Barry the T-Rex tend to act as "equalisers"

You were't planning on not visiting, were you? It wouldn't be a true franchise without your esteemed presence. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

True, and I wil agree to make guest appearances for a certain fee. I also reserve the right to appoint investigating accountants (at your cost of course) to review the cantina at any time to protect my investment

I have every intention of fulfilling my obligations, but if by some awful mischance something should happen (my ship getting hit by an Abbidon AC, for instance), all due measures need to be taken so that the enterprise may function in my absence. Agreed.

Good, selling you into slavery if the clone cantina fails if underpinning my whole security platform. I will also take a lease over your vital organs.

Yes... yes... [looks up "PIBOR" on UWW (Universe Wide Web) palm pilot while Growltigger is busy]

Sheesh, I am happy to link the interest rate to Dollar LIBOR if this makes you happier.

As I plan to take my expenses "off the top" from the raw profits, this is perfectly acceptable. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Expenses will be capped, with a claw back mechanism if they reduce profits by more than an acceptable margin. In my absolute discretion of course.

Sad to say, I have none (comes with being a stocky philosophy geek who plays SEIV http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif )

We may be dust before the wind, but I am then taking security over your vital organs, with full rights to sell them if you should default.

[checks med insurance... yep, regeneration procedures covered] No problem.

I will take an assignment over that policy as well thank you

As the English would say, righto old chap.

Not since 1945 they wouldn't. We would probably say, "there's a bleedin' yank, go one, stick the bugger one and give 'im a kickin'. Lawks"

Just one point. There is a band that wants to play in the cantina [jerks thumb over shoulder to a gaggle of black-eyed, white-skinned, gilled creatures carrying their instruments]. They got kicked off of their original gig on Tatooine, and are willing to work cheap. I think they might provide the right... atmosphere... for the cantina. Or, barring that, the first victims.

No problem, I am a firm beleiver and promoter of live music. Failing that, if are no good, bring them to Barry, he likes musicians (the instruments are really crunchy)

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
I think you will find that the FBW's are compatible in pretty much any format. That is the charm of them, and why their rental rates are so reasonable<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Fair enough

Hmmmm, usually I would not expect director's emoluments to include maintenance of pleasure craft. Subject to an agreed cap on rental expenses, I am agreeable to this being an operating expense of the business, subject to recourse to that vehicle as collateral for the franchise<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is what got my friend Han into trouble, but OK...

I will allow a minimum level of guest beverages, but you will appreciate that all drinks and foodstuffs need to bougth and sourced through the Cantina<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That was the idea. My goal was to provide specialty beverages tailored to the expected clientele. And that way, you can charge extra... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

True, and I will agree to make guest appearances for a certain fee. I also reserve the right to appoint investigating accountants (at your cost of course) to review the cantina at any time to protect my investment<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Understood.

Good, selling you into slavery if the clone cantina fails if underpinning my whole security platform. I will also take a lease over your vital organs...We may be dust before the wind, but I am then taking security over your vital organs, with full rights to sell them if you should default.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not like I can take them with me...

Expenses will be capped, with a claw back mechanism if they reduce profits by more than an acceptable margin. In my absolute discretion of course.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You drive a hard bargain, sir, but I agree.

No problem, I am a firm beleiver and promoter of live music. Failing that, if are no good, bring them to Barry, he likes musicians (the instruments are really crunchy)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Excellent. Well then...

[Look over contract one Last time, pause, then quaff the dregs of my Drachenbrau. Pull pen from flight suit and sign contract.]

That's that.

Well, Boss, I now have a lot of work to do. With your permission, I will head over to the Starfury threads and place a lien on some good property while the getting is good.

[ July 09, 2003, 13:09: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Timstone]

And your doom is sealed... muahahahaha...

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Timstone:
And your doom is sealed... muahahahaha...<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do you always stick your nose in other peoples' business? No wonder Growltigger uses you as a punching bag...

[Timstone]

Pff... I only tried to help you.
I'm no punching bag, I'm a genius. Now get lost you follower of eeevil before I you away on my TTG. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

*Timstone orders a brewski and recuperates from his punching bag "adventure"*

In Holland we would say: "Stank voor dank."

[Growltigger]

Interesting Timstone, in Holland I would have thought you would have said "de aantwoorden zijn altijd aal aanwesig" just before the girl you are trying that line on kicks you in the happy sacks...

Speaking of which, GT turns rounds and boots Timstone in the pampercity, and then nicks his TTG and locks it away..

Right Woundwort, the contract is signed, your vital organs are mine, go and set up the clone cantina, I will be along for an inspection shortly!!

[General Woundwort]

Right!

[offers quick bow, turns, and departs the Cantina.]

[Timstone]

Speaking of which, GT turns rounds and boots Timstone in the pampercity, and then nicks his TTG and locks it away..

Sneaky bastard... I'll find a way, just you wait.

[Growltigger]

Revenge is sweet.

I called my credit card company Last night as they have unlawfully whacked some erroneous charges onto my bill which they shouldn't have (I am one of those girly swots who pays his bill off every month!!).

They kept on putting me on hold meaning that for about half an hour Last night, I spent time listening to Neil Sedaka and John Denver!!!

They asked me to get some info, so I put the phone down, put Rammstein's Feuer Frei on the stereo, put the phone next to the speaker and left them together for a few minutes.

The chap on the phone was not appreciative at all.

Petty, but it made me happy!

[Timstone]

Great move Tigga! Revenge is sooo sweet this way. Too bad you didn't had Dimmu Borgir or God Dethroned, you surely shocked the poor guy on the other side. Nontheless, nice!

[Growltigger]

The best revenge I ever had was on a bloke who wouldn't leave my girlfriend (now wife) alone. He had a porsche and thought he was Mr Cool.

We went to a festival where everybody was camping. He turns up, parks the car in the campsite and proceeds to join us in the beertent.

Whilst he was in there, 20 of us snuck out and PICKED UP the porsche, moved it 50 yards and then put a house tent over the top of it.

He spend 2 days looking for his car, and crying his eyes out. When everybody left the festival, only the house tent (anbd the porsche) was opn the field.

He found his car eventually. Didnt see the joke, especially as one of the lads had deposited about 50 kgs of horse manure into the front seats...

It couldn't have happended to a nicer bloke http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[General Woundwort]

[Woundwort drops in, overhears the conversation]

Remind me to drop my "taking percentage" of the profits a few points. You've got a nasty sense of humor. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

The work goes well, Boss. And the scuttlebutt I hear in Starfury sector is that they won't be up and running until the end of this month at the earliest [RL - release date 7/30/03], so there's plenty of time to get the Phong's Head there ready to rumble.

[Timstone]

Quote:
He found his car eventually. Didnt see the joke, especially as one of the lads had deposited about 50 kgs of horse manure into the front seats...

Oh, crap...

[Growltigger]

Well Timstone, my motto is "dont get mad, get even"

and being a lawyer, do you want me to tell you about the builder who cocked up on the building job he was doing at my house?

Let us just say I almost bankrupted him, ruined his professional reputation, lost him his posh home for a smaller one and basically set him back 10 years. If you try and stiff people, occassionally you will try it with the wrong person.

I should add that I am not proud of that, but the bastard had stiffed quite a few people, and I felt I was the one best able to sort the little sod out. Hell hath no fury like a lawyer scorned.

[Timstone]

Wow! Shees, 10 years!! Freakin' hell!!!
Woah, that must have felt great to get even with scum like that. Although I can imagine you could feel a bit guilty for doing such a thing.
Damn, remind me never to mess around with the wrong persons. Ehh... how do you recognise a wrong person? Haha... oh GT, can I have my TTG back? Please?

[Raging Deadstar]

He has a point, revenge is sweet. Although even i feel guilty about some things i've done, but i've decided they were for a better good. however mine only go as far as personal injury and not to the extent of financial ruin!

Also Please Give Timstone his gearbox back, we have to torment Ragnarok much more, and sending him back in time to a 50's+ Old Hags brothel should do the trick... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Timstone]

Talking about revenge.

[Loser]

Hey GT, if you dig anime music videos (basement productions mostly, but with occasional quality), there's a great one made of Gundam clips set to Rammstein's Feuer Frei. Just so you know.

[General Woundwort]

[Woundwort re-enters the Cantina, looks up the Boss, and submits his status report]

The remodeling work on the new Cantina is going quite well. It should be quite a place once it's all done.

I've downloaded the first batch of applicants. We have three guys looking for the bartender position... Ted Danson... Tom Cruise... and some Ferengi named Quark. Only Quark looks like he has any real potential, but I'm not too sure even of him.

Oh, and Raging Deadstar wants a job in Security for the new place, too.

[ July 12, 2003, 20:21: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Taz-in-Space]

The Taz, noticing that post 100 of this thread is here, grabs the opportunity and claims it for his own! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Woohoo! Now on to post 200!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Reply 100! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

"Welcome to Cantina Post 101, we are hear to fulfill your violent needs. Yes? Certainly, we have many types of Grenade laucnhers in stock!"

*Seeing Taz is now back behind the bar RD Orders an apple juice and grabs an oversized wok, swinging and knocking Ragnarok out for the count*

hmmm things are slow today!

*Delivers another blow to keep the violence quaota up!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*Seeing Taz is now back behind the bar RD Orders an apple juice and grabs an oversized wok, swinging and knocking Ragnarok out for the count*

hmmm things are slow today!

*Delivers another blow to keep the violence quota up!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[ducks into a convenient booth]

Sheesh, and this guy wants a security gig at the new bar? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Growltigger]

Revenge is getting better!!

I have just one a small spat I was having against our local dairy.

I am a member of a charoty organisation and we recently held a beer festival in our town. As part of the promotional aspects, I organised with the local dairy to deliver flyers for the beerfest ie the milkmen would deliver a flyer to every house in town they drop milk too.

Good idea? I thought so and happily negotiated a £100 fee with the dairy for this service.

Result, only about 200 of 5,500 leaflets gots delivered. Most of the milkmen either forgot or threw the leaflet en masse into the B1N.

So, luckily, the beerfest went well (Great sponsorship from some brewers did it).

But, I had to recourse to the dairy and say, I want £85 back plus a contribution to the £100 cost of printing the leaflets as we couldn't arrange for alternative deliveries cos the bloody milkmen had disposed of the flyer.

It has taken 2 weeks of increasingly vitriolic correspondence, but the threat to highlight the story in the local press has resulted in a cheque for £200 from the dairy, but to be fair, as they delivere 200 flyers, I am spending them a cheque for £7.20 as recompense for that...

Bastards!, the world is full of bastards.

And on a nicer note, I gave a chap a lift to the garage on Saturday when I passed him on the road when he was broken down. He was very grateful, and I didnt think anything further of it until he turned up my house on Sunday with a rather nice bottle of wine for me, and a cheque for £100 towards our minibus fund.

He said he felt that was the cost of a roadside recovery, shouldn't benefit from my kindness and wanted to donate the money to a good cause.

There is SOME DECENCY left on this planet, not much, you have to dig deep to find it but it is there.

[General Woundwort]

[Peeks up from behind booth]

Hey Boss, have you heard this one?

After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

Corona's president sits down and says, "Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

Then Budweiser's president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

Coors' president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, the only one made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replies with a smile, "Well, if you chaps aren't drinking beer, why should I?"<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">So, [nodding towards the chaos centered on RD], what about his request for a security job?

[Growltigger]

Rags can act as security for the franchise, if that is what you want Woundwort.

BUt keep in mind that Rags is to security what King Herod was to promoting the Bethlehem Playgroup and Toddlers Association

Are you sure you can take the risk?

Hmmmm, I am feeling nasty, where is Timstone when you need to shoot a red hot poker up someone's rear end??! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Rags can act as security for the franchise, if that is what you want Woundwort.

BUt keep in mind that Rags is to security what King Herod was to promoting the Bethlehem Playgroup and Toddlers Association

Are you sure you can take the risk?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually, it was Raging Deadstar who asked for the job.

Of course, if I may make a suggestion, I got a great deal on some really nasty combat droids...

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey!! I'm not that bad! The only reason i assaulted rags was because i felt ev...he was posing a threat to the cantinas decoration by....ummmm...urinating in a pot plant in the corner! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Anyway if i'm elected for the job of security i promise to keep law and order to a minimum and assault rags at all possible moments for very petty laws http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Of course i will always take in the profit margin of such acts before acting, wouldn't want to get in trouble with the Cat! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Also i would hire my own staff (fully combat trained female bodyguards and bouncers) and would of course make sure the bosses have some very attractive female clone karate instructers who will protect and serve at every whim http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ July 14, 2003, 11:28: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[General Woundwort]

Well, I guess that settles that. I'd better be getting back to the site before that foreman droid starts getting delusions of grandeur.

[socco voce]...and I need to double-reinforce the defenses around the manager's office...

[departs cantina]

[Growltigger]

OK, I dont recall that the Cantina has ever had theme nights.

We are starting one right now. Tonight's party is themed on Ancient Greece.

I naturally, am dressed as Alexander the Great. The FBW's are all in skimpy togas, even Taz has a laurel leaf on.

Anyone else joining us? bring your own plates!

taramasalata for everyone http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[geoschmo]

Geoschmo opens the Cantina door and strides confidently in. He is decked head to toe in approriatly themed costume. Thick rimmed black glasses with white tape on the nose piece. A short sleeved white dress shirt, no tie of course, with the top two buttons undone to show his white cotton tee-shirt. In the breast pocket is his trusty pLastic protector bulging with all manner of writing implements, and what appears to be a six inch ruler. His wrinkled shirt is tucked into his polyester pants held up by a think leather belt which also is carrying several beepers. The pants are about 3 inches too short, enough to show his white tube socks and black patent leather dress shoes. Fortunatly Geo didn't have to spend any on his costume as this is how he always dresses.

"So, when does the Geek party start?"

[Growltigger]

Clutching his fury hoplite helmet and horse hair crest encased head in his hands, Growltigga sobs into his gauntlets.

There is always one, and this one looks in dire need of a good time.

Growltigga claps his hands, "Cameron? Lucy? Drew? aah good, I see you have your shortist togas on.. please take this nerd, I mean Geo, to the pool room. Please ensure you take gallon vats of humous, taramasalata and tzatziki, lots of chicken feathers and a small tub of swarfega and use it wisely. Bring him back for a kicking after you have, ahem, given him a good time...

and dont lose his ruler, I have plans for that (says Growltigga hurriedly looking up various terms in a medical anatomical dictionary).

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ July 14, 2003, 16:29: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[dogscoff]

dogscoff arrives in a toga. He has seaweed in his hair and beard, and clutches a big old trident. Taking a short break from his usual obsesseion of Greek mythology, (and fulfilling the old "lord of the sea" role for old times' sake) he has come as Poseidon, God of the oceans.

Anyone looking out te window will notice a 800ft long Kraaken by the name of Donogh parked at the rear.

'scoff has also brought his own entertainment in the form of 12 sirens, the beautiful sea-maidens who would lure sailors to a watery death with their irresistable singing voices (he also has a pair of ear-plugs). The sirens immediately start working their magic, and many cantina regulars begin trying to drown themselves in nearby bodies of liquid (drip trays, pints of beer, toilets etc.)

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, listening to the sounds of giggling and occasionally snorting from the pool room upstairs, tries to work out why Dogscoff has a thing about genetically enhanced super-squid with Celtic names.

Sheesh, couldn't he have named it "Stavros" in honour of the Greek theme. and hey, I guess calamari is on the menu tonight, anyone got anyone lemons, cornflour and an 800 foot wide frying pan?

OK, we have yodelling lovelies, kamikaze regulars sticking their heads in the fishtanks, we need some satyrs, centaurs, horses, vestal virgins, funny little bald fat men in togas making philosophical statements, plate throwing, dodgy resinated wine, chariot races, nude nymphs disporting themselves everywhere, really dodgy food, funny dancing and mad bazouki players...

OK, got all that...

Let's find out what was so mysterious about those Elysian mysteries!

[geoschmo]

Attention cantina guests, attention. To the owner of the giant wooden horse, license number ILUVHLN, you left your lights on.

[Growltigger]

Geo, now covered in feathers stuck to his taramasalata body-suit is hoiked back into the pool room by 3 rather pleasant feminine arms, lucky swine.....

OK, the bazouki player is really kicking off, come on chaps, line up and let's start with "Never on a Sunday"

Can someone get that centaur off Mac, he is too old for this cross-species stuff...

And who is that dressed as Poseidon? doesn't he know that that all that "Zeus-making-ladies-pregnant-whilst-manifested-as-a-golden-shower" was just make believe? oh god, he doesn't. Someone get a towel for the Nana Miskouri FBW!!

Yeehaw, and when do we get to recreate the sacking of Troy? bags be Achilles http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[geoschmo]

Suddenly a distinctly feminine squeeling sound comes from the pool room as Lucy comes running out closely followed by Eddie, formerly known as Geo, chasing after her. "Mother!" he cried, "come back!" as they disapeared out the front door...

[ July 14, 2003, 17:14: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[Growltigger]

Eh, Geo, what on earth is going on there (I havn't seen Charlies Angels II yet)?

Explain please

Dah dum dah dum daha dah dahahdahhdum dah dum dah dum etc

[geoschmo]

Sorry Gt. Just trying to get into the spirit of the Greek thing. I guess that one was a little too subtle. Nothing to do with the movie, I haven't seen either myself. Would it help if I change my name form Eddie to Geoedipus?

Just then a Galactic Express delivery man walks in the Cantina carrying a package.
"I have a delivery here for a Ms. Pandora." He sets it on the bar and leaves. Anyone inspecting the package will see it's clearly labeled: DO NOT OPEN

[ July 14, 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar wanders through the door with a particularly beautiful entrouage. Instead of coming as a god he decided to bring some people as gods. So after hooking up with some of the most beautiful clones he had he dressed them up as the Muses*

"I'm sure as hell not messing with dogscoff tonight! That sea creatures huge!"

"Oh boss, thank you for the promotion. News is General Woundwort has hired some droidekas for protecting his office! Not like anyone is going to get anywhere near that place with me in charge http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "

*He quickly takes the most beautiful muse to dance with and lets Growltigger take the rest for a night out*

[Erax]

The doors that lead to the Cantina's recesses open wide and hordes of beautiful FBW's in skimpy togas run out to mingle with the guests. Just before the doors close, Erax emerges, dressed in a standard white toga and a winged round helmet. He seems to be hovering two feet from the ground.

He floats over to GT and whispers to him, "Hi Boss. I think you'll like the security measures I built into the clones. An organic battery organ can store amazing amounts of power ! (*)
I almost feel sorry for the guy who tries to fool around with them without your permission. Oh, I also built a replica of that teacher thingy from our old space adventures and used it to teach them martial arts. Should be an interesting combination.

Ah, yes, about the costume, I wanted to be Hephaistos, but you know what happened to his marriage. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif This was the next best thing, and I had this antigrav belt I wanted to try out.

* - Fact : the Brazilian electric fish (electrophorus electricus) can deliver a 300 - 500 volt discharge to its prey.

[Growltigger]

Raging Deadstar, you get the job, I like to see initiative and a willingness to resort to terminal violence at the slightest whim.

Have you ever considered a career in the legal profession?

I personally wish that us legal types could resort to extreme violence as needed. Not so much letters being sent with "Without prejudice" written on them, but more like "Disagree with this proposal and we shall terminate with EXTREME PREJUDICE".

Joy, the thought brings a tear to my leg

[mac5732]

Mac uses his new Centur high pitch whistle which creates an astounding subsonic noise that can only be heard by centurs, This in turn causes the attacking creature to pull back with fear at the wizen oldster... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif He then looks around for fresh fodder, he spies Timstone over on the opposite side of the cantina, He looks, he salivates, he gallops across the floor, OH poor Timstone groans Mac, I can't watch .. Mac turns his head and watchs the God Look alike parade that is currently prancing thru the door leading to the patiio, Oh man, Tesco is going to love this out there he smiles to himself, The old wizen great one, leans back, waves at Taz behind the bar, orders a brewski from his favorite Liz Hurly Clone... and watches the show....

just some ideas Mac

[Growltigger]

This party is really kicking off. Just to give you advance warning chaps, but the theme for the next party will be "Morocco". This is primarily at the request of Abdul and his berber horde who still want rewenge against Rags and RD.

Kalispera mes enfants, let no one touch that package. I really mean it.

Mac, I beleive the centaur was molesting you, and frustrated by its unrequited love, it is now really molesting Timstone!! ooh, that's gotta hurt

Geoedipus (great name great name), just put on a toga and get back into that room with Misses Diaz, Barrymore and Lui. When they have finished with you, I want you to assist me with a little medical experiement I have in mind.

Can someone pull Raging Deadstar's head out of the fishtank? first, you need to take Rag's hand of the back of his neck!

Anyone hungry? right, I will sort that. OUt in the parking lot, Barry flicks the large switch which sends a couple of zillion volts thorugh the car park floor. Donagh the giant squid is crisp fried, just before a horde of sahsimi chefs charge out, rapidly chop it into bits, cover the bits with corn flour and lightly fry in olive oil with a lot of lemon juice. Calamari anyone?

Erax, has you done servicing that Giselle Bundchen clone yet?

[minipol]

Growl,

what beer are you serving here?
(When i see bier or beer in the threadname, i just have to pop in)
On a sidenote, i'm going to Scotland in a week or so to drown myself in whisky wooohoo. It's in drumnadrochit, nice and close by Nessy.

[Growltigger]

As a discerning Belgian, you will find that we serve lots of rather good ales, ranging from the classic British draft real ales and belgian and continental lagers and beers (all ice cold).

What we dont serve is fizzy American recycled urine.

[minipol]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
What we dont serve is fizzy American recycled urine.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Does this mean you have people asking for UNrecycled fizzy American urine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by minipol:
LOL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Does this mean you have people asking for UNrecycled fizzy American urine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*Raging Deadstar manges to pull his head out of the aquarium for a brief second*

*blurble blurble* Only Rags does! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *blurble*

[Growltigger]

Minipol, the connossieurs amongst our North American customers DO ask for their carbonated urine to be filtered to remove any lumps, but generally, I find that a pipe run direct from the Cantina "Little Boys Room" into a soda stream and chiller unit, and then directly into bottles marked "King of Beers" or any tosh like that, suffices for most yanks in the cantina.

Let's face it, would you rather drink a bottle of Spitfire or a bottle of Duval as against a rancid pustulent weak fizzy oikish pissmire like Coors or Budweiner??!!

I would rather drink an alcopop than touch that gunk

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by minipol:
Growl,

what beer are you serving here?
(When i see bier or beer in the threadname, i just have to pop in)
On a sidenote, i'm going to Scotland in a week or so to drown myself in whisky wooohoo. It's in drumnadrochit, nice and close by Nessy.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Be sure to be careful. Dogscoff has a thing for celtic giant sea creatures. So if you see someone sitting almost nude in a toga with a large white beard drunk out of his mind on top of nessy just nod and walk away! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[minipol]

Be sure to be careful. Dogscoff has a thing for celtic giant sea creatures. So if you see someone sitting almost nude in a toga with a large white beard drunk out of his mind on top of nessy just nod and walk away! <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Dogscoff, move over, i'm gonna ride Nessy or did you think i packed my saddle 'n boots for nothing!

I find that a pipe run direct from the Cantina "Little Boys Room" into a soda stream and chiller unit, and then directly into bottles marked "King of Beers" or any tosh like that, suffices for most yanks in the cantina.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aren't you the business man! Recycling and earning money at the same time while keeping down the costs of buying supplies (they provide their own "supply" )

* minipol takes notes. maybe his plan to open a local cafe without having too much funds will take place anyway *

Edit: lots of spelling mistakes. i need a beer

[ July 15, 2003, 10:27: Message edited by: minipol ]

[Growltigger]

Yeah, I am slightly worried about Dogscoff's affinity with giant squid. You would have thought that a man of his stature would have diversified into sea serpents, large sharks with teeth and maybe an octopus or two?

Heyho, as long as he brings the giant squid, we will never be short of calamari and chips

and minipol, word to the wise, when in the cantina, stick to real ale, dont ask for a Brewski unless the taste of ammonia is to your liking!!

[ July 15, 2003, 10:38: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[minipol]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
and minipol, word to the wise, when in the cantina, stick to real ale, dont ask for a Brewski unless the taste of ammonia is to your liking!!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hehe, thanks for the advice. That's one thing i do not want to forget http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigger]

You are right, stick to British or Continental Beer. Dont try anything American other than the margueritas http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Erax]

Erax, has you done servicing that Giselle Bundchen clone yet? <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, the plans are all drafted, but right now she's busy, posing as Aphrodite on the half-shell, by that wall over there.

She looks striking with that long long hair, doesn't she ?

[General Woundwort]

A smallish droid hovers up to Raging Deadstar. It flashes a message to him through the glass walls of the aquarium...

"Check your private Messages"

It then quickly hovers out before it gets used as a baseball, or something worse...

[geoschmo]

Geoedipus returns to the Cantina, strolling arm in arm with Lucy Liu now, gazing lovingly into her eyes.

Hey guys, mom, uh I mean Lucy helped me pick out some better party clothes. What do you think of this?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newuploads/1058274017.gif

[Growltigger]

Geodipus, great legs mate, you look lovely in a skirt. Where are all the feathers gone by the way, and what have youu done with Misses Diaz and Barrymore!

Erax, Giselle does look absolutely aspiffing in that shell, kind of like a really attractive piece of soap.

Loser, OK, fair comment, I have found some rather good micro-breweries in the USA. My comments are more applicable to the commercial rubbish produced by the great breweries over there. I found a great micro-brewrery in Flagstaff AZ just off Route 66 which was really vbery nice (other than the fact that the pints served were american pints so therefore about a quarter smaller than an English pint). There was also a good brewery in Boston but I cant recall its name, other than that it also did wicked seafood!

BTW Woundwort, Barry pounced on your hover droid in the parlking lot and is currently having problems trying to get a duracell out of the back of one of his incisors!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by minipol:
LOL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Does this mean you have people asking for UNrecycled fizzy American urine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*Raging Deadstar manges to pull his head out of the aquarium for a brief second*

*blurble blurble* Only Rags does! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *blurble*</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">RD...What have I told you about spreading the tru...I mean lies about me?!?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *Ragnarok then pushes RDs face into the water even more.*

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar reaches for the lobster deep at the bottom of the aquarium, quickly snatches it and hopes. The lobster flips out of the tank, hits ragnarok in the face and falls, flailing it's pincers around it grabs the most nearest thing. Ragnarok feels a sharp jolt of pain as the pincers find his *ahem* manhood*

Right, i have to head for the Starfury cantina to select my security staff. Put some of the opening ceremonies expensice champagne on Rags tab, he won't want to be dealing with liquids for a LONG time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Loser]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
You are right, stick to British or Continental Beer. Dont try anything American other than the margueritas http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's not really fair. There are plenty of non-pilsner, micro-brews available in the States (back when I drank I took water and stayed dry when pilsner was all to be had). If you've not seen them before you've been visiting the wrong cities. These are not big breweries, so I wouldn't be surprised if they don't export and you foreigners have never heard of them.

Do not underestimate the power of Uncle John's back woods grain alcohol (everybody has an Uncle John).

Additionally keep in mind that, as good as Anglo whiskeys might be, it's not bourbon whiskey if it's not from Bourbon County, Kentucky.

And finally, outside of Cuba, where are you going to find better big production Rum than that of Puerto Rico?

[mac5732]

Mac, notices a strange color in the brewski he ordered, hmmm, the furry feline is recycling again, ugh,,, Mac pours the tainted brewski onto the floor, (with a tear in his eye) what a waste, he mumbles, he reaches down into his mini astro backpack cooler laying on the floor, and pulls out an ice cold Coors, ahhahhah, he mutters, pops the tab and downs the delicious, cool, refreshing, brewski http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif all the while watching the strange happenings over at the fish tank,

just some ideas mac

just some ideas Mac

[dogscoff]

You would have thought that a man of his stature would have diversified into sea serpents, large sharks with teeth and maybe an octopus or two?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, Donogh was actually a Kraaken rather than a squid (watch "Clash of the Titans" if you want to know the difference) and I for one will not be touching any of that supposed Calamari. Kraaken are nowhere near as tender as squid and besides, as anyone who plays nethack well knows, randomly eating monsters is just asking for trouble.

Secondly, you seem to be forgetting the radioactive godzilla-penguins, the shrimp micro-ninja, the exploding demolition lobsters and all my other aquatic denizens. Read through the old cantina threads and count them up if you like.

Of course those days are behind me now, this is only a short reprise for old times' sake.

[Growltigger]

Hmmmm, I think I need to expand the menagerie of the Cantina kitchen into woodland animals...

No more will there be the Byzantine Hordes of Killer Mongoose, roll on the marshalled legions of killer squirrels, badgers and humpin' bunnies

Yee haw, and this greek dancing is knackering, I think I need to join Giselle for a lie down in teh big shell!

[General Woundwort]

[Woundwort walks in with a disgruntled look on his face, even after removing the anti-fried-kraken-smell noseplug]

Boss, RD, bad news. They've delayed the opening of Starfury for at least another... (looks on UWW pad) 10 weeks. [OOC - Shrapnel Games Press Release (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/pressreleases.htm) ] Not that that would absolutely prevent the Cantina from opening separately, but it would mean business will be kinda slow until the rest of the show gets going... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

[ July 16, 2003, 15:06: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, Woundwort, so how do you think you are going to fund the first 10 weeks mandatory fixed payments due to me for the franchise?

I hear that spleen and livers are picking up a great price on the black market.

Growltigga sniggers whilst he sharpens his trusty scalpel and lancet

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Hmmm, Woundwort, so how do you think you are going to fund the first 10 weeks mandatory fixed payments due to me for the franchise?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Taking it out of the playtesters' hides looks like a good option to me... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

No, seriously, I can cover the mortgage. I'm just torqued that the game is in limbo - as will the Cantina, evidently... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, I think a goodwill payment equivalent to the first 20 weeks mortgage, franchise rentla and profit share payments will suffice.

I'll have it now in cold hard cahs if I may, failing which I hear there is now black market demand for ringpieces. I wonder what I could get for yours!!

[General Woundwort]

[barely audible mutterings] I'm gonna get somebody for this...

[punching a few buttons on my wrist computer... A flatbed gravcart floats in, with 10 large pLasteel crates. Inside each crate, 2 weeks worth of mortgage, franchise rentla and profit share, in gold-pressed latinum]

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, thank you Woundwort. I just need PricewaterhouseCoopers to verify payment and your ringpiece is safe from me.... for the moment.

A pity, as I found an old lady in the Philippines who was quite keen to acquire a new one, and was willing to pay top dollar. Apparently hers has been ruined after a life of eating vindaloos

[Ragnarok]

What is going on around here? This thread has fallen down to the middle of the second page; in threat of going to the third! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

*Ragnarok borrows Narfs hammer and walks to RDs little corner and wacks RD across the head a few times. Then he returns the hammer to its original owner.* "Thanks Narf." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[minipol]

* minipols hasn't visited in a while so he drops in, orders a nice cold Duvel and slurps away. Damn, i thought i got some salts with that? I sure as hell won't tip the waitress now. *

[Growltigger]

Yeah Ragas, there just doesnt seem to be the same appetite for cartoon violence that there used to be...

Sign that we are all growing far too old and conservative in our tastes or what?

[minipol]

Cartoon violence? Hhhm. Southpark rocks as do the "old school" cartoon shows like tom & jerry, roadrunner and so on.
I like any cartoon because that means i can sit down and relax, basically be lazy http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigger]

minipol, is that just before someone dings you in the face with a frying pan, with a humourous "DDDOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" noise?

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, what statue? I thought I had strapped C4 to a holographic projecture?!!! what is this red button by the way? why is it flashing? what happens if I push it? BOOM! oh that does.

Oh well, no worries eh? she'll be right

PS GT pulls out his cricket bat, and swipes the message bot mightily, it flies in a great arc across the cantina, till its hits Rags in the derriere, rips through his fey clothing and buries itself up his bum..

Note to Woundwort, I will let you off a month's rent if you self destruct that bot NOW

[ July 23, 2003, 14:22: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Ragnarok]

*After being hit Ragnarok walks out of the Cantina looking like hes just been riding a horse for 42 weeks straight without getting off, and/or he was just searched for drugs of the non-legal sort up his bum by a 300 pound man named Billy Bob.* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

*Ragnarok knowing better then to get into a fight with the great 'Tigga simply walks over, and shakes his hand and says (with a slight bit of pain in his voice, "Great hit, sir. Home run I do believe."*

*Ragnarok then retrieves a "donut" seat and proceeds to sit in his usual corner booth.*

[Growltigger]

Rags sits down as an ominous ticking sound proceeds to come from his rectum.

The patrons of the cantina overturn the tables and get behind them, kind of reminiscient of the 101st at Bastogne...

Wailing mournful music starts...the lights darken, and augmented by the ticking sound from Rag's fudge tunnel, GT proceeds to sing sad songs about the breifness of existence, the terseness of life and the end of being as it relates to having timebomb stuffed up your jacksy

[General Woundwort]

[slight buzz is heard - transport beam has activated]

[ Rags - you owe me one ]

[ July 23, 2003, 16:03: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, read the penalty clause for crossing me in your contract and beam that bomb back!

Growltigga carries on singing mournful french piaf-esque dirges about the problems of mortality when 5 kg of TNT is about to go off in your back bottom

[General Woundwort]

[star-trek like commo squeal]

I could beam the bot back, Boss, but it's not like they come with 5 kg of TNT as standard equipment, you know...

[Ragnarok]

Edited for possible not beaming of bot back.

[ July 23, 2003, 16:18: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, I inserted 5kg of TNT into the bot via my cunning "TNT-insertor-disguised-as-a-cricket-bat" device. Beam it back before I call my lawyers, and they call their enforcers

[minipol]

Growl,

using a "TNT-insertor-disguised-as-a-cricket-bat" device is very cunning and devious as nobody understands cricket here! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

* minipol turns his head to the bar to order another Leffe when suddenly: DDDOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG *

* after minipol gets his face from the ground, he wonders how he could have missed that frying pan *

* minipol notices that after the cowardly frying pan attack, his face looks better because looking worse wasn't possible, hehe *

[General Woundwort]

[Star Trek commo screech again - her-eeeee-oooh }

My most abject apologies, Boss, but I've been informed that the bot in question was isolated and destroyed upon arrival here. It seems the security protocols I instituted for the protection of your property are being followed with gusto. Please send further instructions...

[General Woundwort]

Another small, round, and eminently expendible message bot floats up to Growltigger and flashes a message...

"You know Boss, if you didn't like that statue, all you had to do was say so..."

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, oh for gods sake, call youself a suitable satanic lackey able to fun a cantina and terrorise it with the levels and intensity of cartoon violence expected from you??!!

Growltigga blows a whistle, and several Jean-Paul Gaultier clad fey looking Belgian sailors turn up (all called Henk except for the big one who is called Wuffles). Gentlemen, rectal explosives need inserting, that funny looking bloke in the corner who's lower intestine is ticking.

The happy laughing Belgians (there are some you know) giggle and sprint over to Rags, pin him down, rip off his troUsers and insert a 5kg C4 enema, attached to a large alarm clock/detonator

All done boss they say as they disappear off into the kitchen...

OK, to quote that famous song by Europe, this is the final countdown for Rags, I really did think that Raging Deadstar would be here to watch his arch-nemesis explode a la "one Last wafer thin mint sir" a la Monty Python -The MEaning of Life...

5 minutes and counting

[General Woundwort]

Which cartoon is that, Boss... South Park?

Starfury sector, out.

[Growltigger]

You got it Woundwort, although here, we tend to shout "They've killed Rags, they've killed Rags"

[minipol]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
(all called Henk except for the big one who is called Wuffles)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL ! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Well see you guys next week. I'm leaving for Scotland tomorrow. 8 days of rain are coming my way. woohoo. (why woohoo you might think? is minipol crazy? of course, i am, otherwise i wouldn't be coming to this cantina right? but what's my point. i go to scotland, it rains, we'll have to do indoor activities. What is Scotland known for besides nessie and funny people walking around in skirts? Right. Whisky. lalalalala. drink drink drink lalalalala.)

* minipol orders a "Straffe Hendrik", drinks it and walks out. *

[Growltigger]

Och, I love Boonny Scotland me, roamin' in the gloamin', highland flings (if you are lucky), lots of good seafood and organic meat, whisky, strong beer, lots of booze, horizontal rain and storm force winds, freezing temperatives and bagpipes, ye' canna beat it.

The number of times I have stumbled along the promenade in OBan singing a derivation of "Scotland the Brave", the first verese of which goes as follows:

There's a fine Scottish lassie
With a big hairy assie
Who is lifting up her kiltie
At a young ladddy booyyyyy

Singing... nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
etc

Brilliant, pure magic. Makes you want to wear a kilt, grab a claymore and shout "Freedom" at the top of your lungs

[Erax]

Um... Rags not go boom ?

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar teleports down, walks over and shakes Ragnaroks hand, orders an apple juice, waves goodbye to ragnarok and tells rags to say goodbye to sitting down*

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

(It's good to see people bullying rags whilst i'm away http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif )

[Growltigger]

2 minutes and counting

Rags, I am a lawyer so if you want to record your Last will and testament, feel free to do so. Otherwise, you know, Cantina rules apply and I automatically get all of your assets as a result of a cantina related death (how do you think I afford to run this place?!)

[Growltigger]

1 minute...

Do I get the feeling that me and Rags are the only people here?

OK, drastic measures, free beer for all visitors

[geoschmo]

Waaaa? Free Beer? Did someone replace Gt with a clone again? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Geo

[David E. Gervais]

Motion is just an illusion. Need proof?..

Check this out. (http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/illusion.htm)

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, the motion that Rags is about to experience is not going to be an illusion, but kind of like a Saturn V rocket shooting up to the stars on a pillar of fire. Rags will do his best impression of a rocket launch yet...

oh, and by the way, 30 seconds and counting. I am surprised Rags hasn't been in the cantina pleading for mercy.

and no Geo, I am not a clone, but given how dead the cantina has been in recent weeks, I needed to do something to spark up trade.

[Growltigger]

Less sophist guile from you Mr David Gervais, otherwise I may have to play "exploding bum cricket" with your derriere as well.

Thinking of which, I cannot recall that you have ever been a recipient of cartoon violence here in the cantina. Maybe it is time for the old frying pan trick.

And yes, I am about to get taken off into real life for a few weeks. I have only had 1 holiday this year, not like the 8 I had Last year!

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Growltigger:

Thinking of which, I cannot recall that you have ever been a recipient of cartoon violence here in the cantina. Maybe it is time for the old frying pan trick.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think we should transfer the bomb that is currently lodged in me into David to welcome him to cartoon violence world. Can we please? It seems like I'm always dying around here. Even worse then Kenny on Southpark. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[David E. Gervais]

I see Gt, the 'motion' that Rags is about to experience is more of an e-motion and go-motion type. (the kind that 'stretches' the boundries of human/virtual endurance.) I was talking about 'visual-motion' which is a matter of 'perception'. No doubt Rags will have his eyes shut during his upcomming experience so he'll miss out on the visual-motion. But that's ok, the rest of us will enjoy the show http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Btw: I suspect the reason for the slowing down of Posts here at shrapnel is due to many people being on vacation and have been sucked into real life for a few weeks.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Sorry Rags, David Gervais is too much a gentleman to have that happen to him. You on the other hand??!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

5-4-3-2-1

the cantina patrons dive for cover as Rags lower intestine explodes, a jet of fire, carefully channelled thanks for GT's shaped charge, explodes out of his rectum... a second passes and noticably, Rags is now severally feet off the floor, balancing on a pillar of flame, he accelerates, smashes through the roof and jets off into the sky.

The cantina patrons all run into the carpark where they join barry in gazing at the ascending yank.. GT looks at his watch, 5-4-3-2-1, the secondary charge goes off and Rags explodes at 3000 feet into a blaze of beuatiful fire....

Hastily umbrellas are hoisted as bits of Rags fall to earth over a wide area. Cue party, cue Weather Girls, Cue Gerry Halliwell, Cue startt of new dance hit, "its raining Rags, hallelujah its raining Rags"

Camera pans out at vision of the cantina carpark turned into a mass disco, booze is flowing and everybody is having a great time.

Dont worry about Rags, we have the technology to rebuild him, or failing which, he might make great compost.

Now, anyone for a game of cricket? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*As everyone is partying David Gervais sits down in his chair and begins to relax. Raging Deadstar quickly puts on a mask and sneaks up on him. A good swing of the the forearm later with agigantic wok and david gervais is sprawled out on the floor with a giant red bruise coming from his head. RD removes the mask and carries on partying, knowing the "pan handler" has struck again!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..as the party begins I notice a bit of strange movement out of the corner of my eye... several of Rag's bits and pieces are liquifying and merging togeather. Omg,.. Rags is a 'terminator' and no doubt "He'll be back" once he fully 'merges' back into form.

Oh well,.. Bartender, a 'mug' of Jack Daniels please,..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, you may be right, quick, get the liquid nitrogen cannon up here quick. We can freeze him and them smash the bits up with a hammer...

or maybe we can take the bits round the garbage compressor at the back of the cantina, and then crush it in that,

or maybe we can get a flamethrower and bake his bits...

Hey, Rags in pieces looks like being far more fun than when he was whole!

[Growltigger]

Raging Deadstar, I feel our first hunt coming on (when you have reassembled yourself anyhow). How could you viciously assualt David Gervais like that?

With that smiling face, cuddly beard that looks like it has been slightly foxed, heavily badgered and possibly mildly beavered, he is just to cute to attack violently for no reason.

It would be like setting fire to a kitten (dont ANYONE SUGGEST THEY HAVE DONE THAT) or flambe'ing a puppy!

Actually, if you and Rags are joined as one, we can have a great double chase, whilst us lot are dressed as doctors, and the FBW's are dressed as nurses! Oh wow http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

The image of them joined together arguing about which way to go during the chase.

The image of GrowlTigga dressed up as a nurse.

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
And yes, I am about to get taken off into real life for a few weeks. I have only had 1 holiday this year, not like the 8 I had Last year!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">What? Don't tell me you quit lawyer work alltogether and got a real job Gt. How sad for you. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Erax]

Boss, I need some sleep. I could swear I read 'setting fire to a kitchen', and I wondered why you would be upset by that.

Anyway, while you all were having fun out in the park, I used my Mercury costume's 'flash mode' and repaired the roof in time not to have bits of Rags come in through the hole and land in our beer. I've also replaced the charred floor where he took off.

Hmm... a Rags/RD combine... would that be like that three-headed giant in The Holy Grail ?

[David E. Gervais]

..groggy and a bit disoriented, I feel a sharp pain on my head. I reach up and find an abnormally large goose egg bump on my head. I press it flat and as I do so another grows on another part of my head... I push that one in and another grows,.. omg,.. the 'Pan Handler' has given me a case of perpetual bumps.

..Raging Deadstar thinks he was wise to wear a costume and mask to the party, but the fact that it isn't a costume party makes him stand out like a sore thumb. (He should have dropped the pan, as I was pressing the bumps on my head and new ones were growing, the exact same phennomina was happening to the pan. It was a dead giveaway as to who was responsible.)

..at Gt's suggestion I bring up the liquid nitrogen canon and instead of targeting rags, I aim at RD and with a quick pull of the trigger turn him into a popcicle. I pick up a chair and procede to smash him into tiny bits... As the bits begin to melt and reform, I notice that some of RD's and Rags 'pieces' are getting confused and merging with each other....

hmmm, I think a new lifeform is being created.

Wahahahahahaha. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ August 01, 2003, 12:11: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Gryphin]

Steps in out of nowhere :: Eases himself around the bits and pieces :: Gets to the bar :: orders a glass of what ever Mac drinks (hoping it is safe ::
Guys I miss this place. Wish I could keep up with and compete with you.
Um, could you put that drink on Growltigga's tab for "Olde Tymes Sake"
Enjoy

[ August 01, 2003, 12:24: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

[mac5732]

Mac waves at the Gryphin and order brewskis all around from Taz, he whispers to Taz, "Put it on Dogscoff's Tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "

just some ideas Mac

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Motion is just an illusion. Need proof?..

Check this out. (http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/illusion.htm)

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, I was going to stop in for a few after my long, arduous journey. But after seeing this, I don't think I need anything more intoxicating. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

As Taz finishes putting Mac's drinks on Dogscoff's Tab, he notices the rather large bill outstanding...

Taz takes Dogscoff's Tab over to the Boss for his initials.

'Mr GT, sir, I need you to initial Dogscoff's tab so the collections section can get started on it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif '

'Also here is the Flambéed Puppy you asked for...' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

As GT eyes the golden brown fire-roasted puppy, Taz hastens to add:

'I didn't harm a hair on any kittens, honest!' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

It would be like setting fire to a kitten ... or flambe'ing a puppy!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[Raging Deadstar]

*Suddenly all the pieces of Raging Deadstar start to repel themselves away from Ragnaroks and reform to become RD*

Hey theres no way I'm sharing a body with Rags, i have no idea what his personal hygiene is! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

*Raging Deadstar thinks and then makes a quick call to his ship, where after a few minutes a Vanessa Feltz clone appears. RD Pulls out a Quantum Torpedo Launcher and blows Vanessa Feltz into a thousand pieces, which then proceed to get mixed up with the reforming Ragnarok.*

Now the result of this will be fun! A 20 ton Overweight Ragnarok with breasts. Should make good fun for hunting. Of course we better keep Mac away from him/her. With his failing eyesight we could have a problem! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Mac looks up from his research papers and notices what appears to be a large breasted woman (?) across the dance floor, hmmm, now there's a set of hooters worth looking at, d... just need some stronger glasses tho, she seems to be a little hefty in the hips... hmmmm, as Mac trys to adjust his glasses to get a more pronounced look at the aspiration across the way, "Taz, he yells, pls send the lady across the way a drink and put it on the Gryphins tab" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

hastly glass adjusting Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Growltigger]

a Rags/Feltz combination, oh my god RD, what have you done? not even Barry would be able to stop that behemoth should it decide to attach Tokyo??!!

Taz, thanks for the flambed puppy, I am going to have a crack team of inspectors check out your allegatyion that no kitten was harmed, if it was? let's just say furballs wont be much of a problem for you afterward if you get my drift, cos you wont have any........

Someone send the Rags/Feltz thing to Mac, I need to see this.

Erax, good work, now if only you can repair the orgasmatron (hasn't been the same after I went into it with those 4 kylie clones) - Mac may need it very very soon

[Erax]

Umm... sure. I don't have its specs,* just tell me what it's supposed to do and I'll go on from there.

* - A search on the forum turned up nothing, this must have happened WAY back.

[Growltigger]

Erax, if you dont know what an orgasmatron is meant to do, then you are not old enough to be on this thread!

what on earth were you doing with that Giselle Bundchen clone? playing chess? going to the museum? taking her to the zoo? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Erax, good work, now if only you can repair the orgasmatron (hasn't been the same after I went into it with those 4 kylie clones) - Mac may need it very very soon<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">GT that is just so very sick indeed! Poor Mac. Should we get him blind drunk so he doesn't recall his encounter or should we be evil and let him suffer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Erax]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Erax, if you dont know what an orgasmatron is meant to do, then you are not old enough to be on this thread!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Boss, I know what it's supposed to do, what I meant is I don't know how it works. I mean, does it send prerecorded sensations directly to the subjects' brains ? Or does it allow the subjects to 'send' their fantasies to each others' minds ? Perhaps it skips the middleman and just zaps the subjects' gratification centers, without any sensations attached ? Maybe those are all possible settings ? You've used the thing, tell me what you want from it and I'll get to it.

[geoschmo]

I would expect the process involved is probably the one you mentioned involving direct stimulation by electrical or other means of the subjects sensitive areas. This would facilitate the device being used as a means of "behavior modification" with a slight adjustment to the power setting or polarity. This would be more in line Gt's known predilliction towards physical punishments of an, ahem, "creative" nature. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ August 05, 2003, 14:49: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

[tesco samoa]

too much talking not enough

http://home.broadpark.no/~grajkov/smilie/720icon.gif

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
GT that is just so very sick indeed! Poor Mac. Should we get him blind drunk so he doesn't recall his encounter or should we be evil and let him suffer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Let's be evil, even Vanessa Feltz clones need love and I really dont think Mac's eye sight will notice the difference either way.

The idea of Mac having it away with Rags also appeals from a very warped sense of perspective.

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Erax:
Boss, I know what it's supposed to do, what I meant is I don't know how it works. I mean, does it send prerecorded sensations directly to the subjects' brains ? Or does it allow the subjects to 'send' their fantasies to each others' minds ? Perhaps it skips the middleman and just zaps the subjects' gratification centers, without any sensations attached ? Maybe those are all possible settings ? You've used the thing, tell me what you want from it and I'll get to it.[/QB]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Erax, I am a cantina owner and part time gigolo dammit, not an engineer specialised in cranial rectal inVersion!

Use your imagination. Imagine what YOU would like to get out of a machine like that and tinker with it. Look, you Brazilians are renowned for being hot blooded amorous love machines, rig it up accordingly

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by geoschmo:
This would be more in line Gt's known predilliction towards physical punishments of an, ahem, "creative" nature. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Growltigga thumbs through his Penguin book of "Creative Cartoon Torture for the connossiuer" and gets to page 73....

Right Geo, you have been nominated as the victim, I mean, willing participant in the infamous "Lucky Pierre", a maneuvre so heinous it is Banned by most galactic states, and quite a lot of the more straight laced religions too..

All I need is some cowbells, a Jean-Paul Gaultier clone, a clone of that leather man from Village People (the moustache is very necessary for this), a taser, a small labrador called "Purdey", an industrial sized vibrator - diesel powered with a kickstart, a tub of marmite, some ball bearings and a set of 3/4 inch wing nuts, oh, and a large wooden barrel, a rasping file and some bandages and iodene for afters!

oh, and to keep Walmart Fiji happy, free beers for all (Taz, put them on Mac's tab)

[ August 05, 2003, 16:43: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Erax]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Use your imagination. Imagine what YOU would like to get out of a machine like that and tinker with it. Look, you Brazilians are renowned for being hot blooded amorous love machines, rig it up accordingly<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heee heee heee. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif You won't be disappointed Boss.

[Growltigger]

I am sure I wont be disappointed Erax, can you give it a samba feel as well? and maybe install a pina colada dispenser? together with an inflatable Ronaldo lookalike we can punch whilst in the throws of ecstasy?? and maybe a video on permanent re-run of the 1998 World Cup Final? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Erax]

Sure, in FIVE days I'll have all of that installed. I'll give it twenty-FIVE power settings and thirty-FIVE optionals, including the ones you asked for.

Wonderful number, FIVE. If I say it again, it will be FIVE times I've said it.

Edit : Boss, you are evil. Just thinking about the 1998 final is enough to make most adult Brazilians break down and cry. But I went and had a few drinks and I feel much better now.

So... the stuff you asked for is all optionals, no problem there. But there is just soooo much more it can be made to do. This is going to be so good, it will almost make you forget about football. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ August 05, 2003, 22:53: Message edited by: Erax ]

[Gryphin]

"Pit it on the Gryphin's Tab"
:: Looks at Mac, Looks at "thing" :: Looks at Mac :: Looks at Taz ::
Taz - Mix up the following ingrediants for the um "thing" and include this :: hands Tsz a small bit of something ::
Any cost over that of a brewski goes back on Macs tab,
:: Little do then know the concotion makes who ever drinks it passionate about the who evers DNA was on the something I gave Taz. Little do they know it was Macs.

[mac5732]

Old Mac looks up from his research once again towards the direction of the big hooters in the cornor, he notices Taz taking over a drink, he smiles... (Mac also noticed that Gryphin had slipped Taz something for the drink) hmm, whats Gyrphin up to, oh well, Taz's paws are the Last thing to touch the container and since Taz is hairy it would wipe everything off except Taz's scent.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif so if the slick Gryphin tried to slip in a Mickey, it'll fall on poor Taz,,, hmmm,, Mac grabs his cell phone and calls his eye doctor, makes an appointment to upgrade his glasses all the better to see those whoppers over in the cornor... aahh, that GT always adding something new to the place http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

[Taz-in-Space]

Feeling sorry for what is in Mac's immediate future, Taz mixes the drinks for Mac and 'the thing' EXTRA-strong. He also adds a few dozen 'little blue pills' to Mac's drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Taz would like to 'help' Mac out further; but there is suddenly a mass rush at the bar from GT's almost unprecedented offer of free beer... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Taz also turns on the Cantina's closed-circuit video camera system and prepares to broadcast Mac's, ahem, upcoming event live. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Erax]

Erax vanishes into the unknown spaces in the back of the Cantina to begin his work. In typical cartoon fashion, weird construction noises come forth for a while, then all is silent.

A few moments later, the double doors in the back fly open and dozens of construction robots(in a variety of shapes and sizes) roll, walk and fly out. They partition off the space around the door to the old orgasmatron with rigid synthepLast sheets, then vanish behind it. More weird construction noises ensue.

Erax comes out and sticks a label on the partition : ROBOTS AT WORK. AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. OPENING IN [5] DAYS.

[Raging Deadstar]

Oh boy what have i got poor mac into?

*In typical cartoon style a little RD with a halo and wings dressed in white appears on his left shoulder*

"Yes you must help the poor veteran, he doesn't deserve this"

*Suddenly another little RD appears in a black robe and holds a scythe*

"Don't listen to him, in fact, lets fire a tranquiliser dart full of hormones into her rather large behind and make rags feltz really desperate for Mac!"

*RD Looks from side to side before pulling out a tranquiliser dart gun and fires said dart straight into Rags rather inflated behind. Not feeling a thing Rags begins to feel a strange sensation fall over him/her. Lust for that wisen old man in the corner.*

Ok thats my evil quota for today filled up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Erax]

Erax emerges from the construction site, terribly tired...

He wanders over to the bar, downs a Guinness or two, then heads towards the back of the Cantina. As he passes by the partition he sticks a square label with a '4' on it to his sign.

It now reads OPENING IN [4] DAYS.

[Taz-in-Space]

Erax emerges from the construction site, terribly tired... <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Taz watches as Erax walks unsteadily to and from the bar.

If those robots are doing all the work, then WHY is Erax so tired? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

You don't think...
That maybe he's testing that orgaz-thingy...
On HIMSELF??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

As Mac oogles the rather large bebops across the room, sweat begins to pour down his exterior, he begins to turn different shades of color, his pace maker STOPS...., ugh, The sexy old one, falls over, Someone calls 911, an EMS squad pulls up and takes poor Mac off to the local house of pain....

Camera far left

Mac is laying in a hospital bed surrounded by lucious, lavacious, sexy Studen Nurses who are just oooooing and aaaing over the sexy old gentelman laying so cerenely in the bed. He opens his eyes and he smiles, He asks for a sponge bath http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )).... The doctor arrives and tells him, False alarm there kindly oldster, your pressure went up to high due to a huge adrenilan flow of excitment.... You just lay here for a few days and let these angels of mercy take care of you and get you up and around again.. You must learn to adjust your excitment ya know, your not a spring chicken anymore http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
The doctor leaves, mac looks down at his torso, and the surrounding lovlies, hmm I don't know what the doctor means, I appear to be up and about already, he mumbles to himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ... as he lays back and lets his essance enjoy the feeling of the sponge bath the young fillies are givint him http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

just some ideas Mac

[Growltigger]

Taz, I would be worried if old Erax was using the orgasmotron himself - I dont hold with auto-eroticism when there are perfectly good vanessa feltz/rags clones to use.

Era, can you instal an auto wipe facility in the orgasmatoron please, especially for our BRazilian customers who may get a bit wet when watching the 1998 World Cup final.

Someone get Mac back from hospital, he and Vanessa/Rags have a hot date in the orgasmatron!

[Erax]

Taz, supervising construction robots can tire you out real fast, they're not too bright and tend to understand everything literally.

Yesterday and today we're doing the heavy construction work, making space for everything that's going to be installed. We're nowhere near ready for testing yet, and I won't be able to do it on myself because I have to take readings and such during those tests.

Which means, of course, I'll need someone to test the thing on. Any volunteers ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Growltigger]

Erax, Mac and Vanessa Feltz/Rags have duly volunteered and we are getting Mac back from hospital, as well as pumping the Feltz/Rags clone full of lurrrrv hrmones.

Do you know, this could be the first case of cantina patrons getting it on together. Mac and Rags, how sweet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Erax]

OK Boss, Mac and Rags it is, tests are scheduled for Sunday.

I will be running a different kind of test on Saturday which will involve all the patrons who stop by. To them, it will just look like a typical Cantina party.

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort walks into the cantina. He stops and stares at the partition, and shudders slightly.

"Boss, the Starfury cantina is nearly completed. I expect the work to be wrapped up by Saturday morning at the latest. Anytime you want to stop in for an inspection, feel free."

[minipol]

* minipol is finally back from a well enjoyed vaction in scotland. but now he wants real beer so he orders a nice kwak. yummy! glad to be back *

[Growltigger]

Minipol, how ws your trip to bonny Scotland? and I guess you are never going back as you dont appreciate McEwans and Caledonian brew!

Me thinks that on behalf of the Scottish Brewing Industry, you shoud have a bash in our new orgasmatron, when Erax has finished tinkering with it. It will be grand, you get to watch the 1998 World Cup Final, whilst listening to samba music, being doused in Bacaradi whilst being gently pleasured in some unfathomable manner.

Oh, if you would prefer, we can do a Belgian Version which means you get to watch German TV, listen to that Wally Henk or whatever his name was, get doused in Duval and Fou Fon, and are slapped around the face with a nieuw haring

[Erax]

Observant patrons (if there are such) will have noticed the sounds behind the partition have changed over the day. At first there was a lot of sawing and banging going on, but now it's mostly drilling and zapping sounds. The latter are often accompanied by the glaring purple flash of an antiproton arc welder.

Erax comes out, looking a little less tired than yesterday. The sign now reads OPENING IN [3] DAYS.

The beer mugs today are projecting a brief holographic note for the patrons : HELP FILL THE ORGASMATRON DATABASE. COME TO THE PARTY TOMORROW. FREE ADMITTANCE. OUR RESIDENT CLONES WILL PUT ON A SHOW FOR YOUR BENEFIT.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Someone get Mac back from hospital, he and Vanessa/Rags have a hot date in the orgasmatron!<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes Boss!

*Raging Deadstar quickly disguises himself as a seedy taxi driver and flys off in a banged up taxi he found from the bar down the street. Pulling up at the hospital he jumps out and opens the rear door. Pushing a button he activates the taxis hologram projector and it turns into a limo. RD quickly puts on a suit and gets out, flanked by 2 liz hurley clones *evil grin*. Going to Macs room he asks the two clones to persuade Mac to come back to the cantina. Within 10 minutes he's dressed and discharges himself. Soon they are outside when the two clones grab Mac and throw him through the "Limo" door and climb in to restrain him, with the "filthy old man" trying to get in to gratifying positions with them. RD climbs in the front, deactivates the hologram projector and heads back to the cantina*

Mission Accomplished Sir! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Erax]

OK, it's Saturday, time to fill out the 'tron library. RD, Mac, please wear these 'Phong's Head Cantina' caps for the day. See, I have mine on already.

No one else here ? We can get started, then.

The Cantina's back doors open and the FBWs, clones and former space marines come out, dressed in a variety of costumes (neeedless to say, they are all skimpy). They clear away a space in the center of the Cantina, which rises to become a stage. The lights go dim.

Throughout the day, the Cantina clones will alternately be singing and dancing on the stage and serving drinks to the patrons. All of the patron's, um, thoughts, will be picked up by the psych transmitters in the Cantina caps they wear and transmitted to the 'tron computer, where they will be classified and stored in the database.

So enjoy yourselves folks. If there's anything you'd like to see, speak up and we'll arrange it.

[mac5732]

Mac grins as the LH clones try and restrain his poor worn torso http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif upon reaching the cantina, as he is being escorted inside, someone puts a strange looking hat on his head..hmmm, I need a cold brewski he yells out... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Mac is assisted into his favorite chair, several Liz Hurley clones stand next to him, as he opens his newest research papers on this new organimatic theory, he shall publish his findings upon completion of his thesis upon further research, in the mean time, the old buzzard downs a brewski and orders another as he continues to read his research paper....

just some ideas mac

[minipol]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Minipol, how ws your trip to bonny Scotland? and I guess you are never going back as you dont appreciate McEwans and Caledonian brew!

Me thinks that on behalf of the Scottish Brewing Industry, you shoud have a bash in our new orgasmatron, when Erax has finished tinkering with it. It will be grand, you get to watch the 1998 World Cup Final, whilst listening to samba music, being doused in Bacaradi whilst being gently pleasured in some unfathomable manner.

Oh, if you would prefer, we can do a Belgian Version which means you get to watch German TV, listen to that Wally Henk or whatever his name was, get doused in Duval and Fou Fon, and are slapped around the face with a nieuw haring<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL. Here in Belgium we can get German television and they have these "slager" song festivals. It's really funny to watch.
As for Scotland, i will definitely return. Howevern they pay 66% taxes on their whiskey and so it's a lot cheaper to buy your whiskey in Belgium.

[Erax]

The sign now reads OPENING IN [1] DAYS. Yup, I was too tired to update it.

Since the Boss wasn't around, we'll postpone the test with Mac and Rags 'till he arrives. See you all in a few hours, I'm off for some rest !

[Growltigger]

Erax, I am around if awfully busy so not logging on as often as I would like.

DO NOT POSTPONE THE TEST. CARRY ON AND GIVE IT SOME OF THAT LATIN SPIRIT (AND I DONT MEAN BACARDI)

[Erax]

OK Boss, right on it. "Guards... seize them !!"

The FBWs seize Mac and Rags/Vanessa and quickly carry them to the partition, which is pulled aside to reveal...

a wall with steel double doors.

One of the FBWs pushes a button which causes the doors to open with a 'whoosh' sound. The captives are unceremoniously tossed in and the doors close behind them.

"Now let's see how they fare against our pet Rancor... ohohohohoho..." No, wait, wrong line. "And now... the test begins. Master will be pleased."

Erax zips over to another room with the control panel, on which a screen displays the following :

Settings

Locale : Hotel room
Decor : 1940s
Balcony : yes
Garden overlook : yes
Waterfall : no
Flamingos : no
Music : yes
Time : night
Temperature : Tropical
Humidity : Tropical
Run function 0 at start ? : yes
Function 1 : remote
Function 2 : remote
Function 3 : remote
Function 4 : remote
Function 5 : remote
Library infeed : remote
Log all activity : Heck yes

With a satisfied expression, Erax presses the Start button...

[ August 12, 2003, 12:26: Message edited by: Erax ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Erax:
OK Boss, right on it. "Guards... seize them !!"

The FBWs seize Mac and RD/Vanessa and quickly carry them to the partition, which is pulled aside to reveal...

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">*RD peeks from round his curtain to his personal corner, and has a very fowl look on his face*

Geee Erax, all that praise i give you for your story and you mistake me for rags, i'm insulted!
*Shakes head*
Terrible Terrible, if i had GT's red hot poker cannon you'd get some, i mean look at him *looks at vanessa/rags* Am i that easily mistaken for that. Hell i'm a celary stick compared to "It" In fact "It" could probably devour me as quickly as a stick of celary.

*Raging Deadstar sits back down on his long couch and sips an apple juice and makes some plans.*

Hmmm Erax, GT said he wanted "situations" for the orgasmatron so i have a dominatrix Jordan clone which would like to go in the orgasmatron with you, location : tallulahs torture dungeon! (Might not scare you, but i find Jordan revolting) Don't worry, i'll inform you when Mac and Rags have finished! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Erax]

Sorry RD, I was in a hurry, couldn't keep the Boss waiting you know. The original post has been fixed already.

I have the test results right here, when the Boss has some time I'll tell him how it all went, but in general it was quite satisfactory.

[mac5732]

In researching the orgasmatron in regards to its use within the prestigious of this facitlity. It was found that this is in reality a psycho-samatic condition in which the targeted subjects are falsly infected with projections of whatever the fiendish delights are of those who are practicing the dark art of its facilitations. The condition is temporary in nature and can be over come or by the use of a orgasmatron neutralizer which not only nullifies the condition upon its target, but in turns, sends the psycic conditions back upon those who orcastrated its use. Therefore, Since the wizen olderster Mac not only completed his research on this topic before being thrown into the room, he also had hidden upon his person the neutralizer which rendered himself and Rags to once again see reality as it should be. Upon coming to their senses, they ordered some brewskis, and some tribble wings, rewired the monitor pick ups within the confines of the room, and watched as those responsbile for this atrocitious display were in turn smited with the orgasmatron's psycic powers and since they don't have the proper neutralizer, are currently reliving the experiences that they had intended for poor old Mac and Rags http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

just some ideas Mac

[Erax]

Ah yes. But you see, this was a test run, so we intended to start the program without any psychic input at all, that was going to be added in later, a function at a time (that's why I set them all to 'remote').

So as soon as I switched on Function 0 (which just rests and relaxes everyone in the 'tron) and felt the effect myself, I switched the thing off and went looking for the source of the problem.

We found the neutralizer and disconnected it, but by then the two of you were long gone. So we went on to plan B - we did the test with a Liz Hurley clone and some random guy named George who was on standby (he answered an ad we put out).

The test results, as I said, were satisfactory. Right now we are adding more ECCM and shielding the control room to prevent more of this 'neutralizer' nonsense in the future.

[Growltigger]

Erax, can we instal a cricket bat so as to whack any silly bugger using a neutraliser right in the goolies?

[Erax]

Um, sure. Consider it done Boss.

[Raging Deadstar]

Starfury Sector Cantina Now Open (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=000017)

Thought i'd advertise the new digs, please come on in and make yourself at home. We're also holding a poll on what uniform the Fbw's should wear! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[General Woundwort]

Gentlemen and ladies! (I use the terms loosely, of course...)

Please raise a glass of your favorite beverage and join me in a toast...

To Geoschmo and PBW... Welcome back... and for crying out loud, don't go away ever again!!!

[Power Man]

A small shuttle lands in the parking lot. The hatch opens and out steps

TA DA Power Man !!!

He looks around and greets Barry and heads into the Cantina.

"Hi Everyone. Sorry I have not been in sooner. I have had a bit of trouble on the Home front and did not have the time to visit. "
"I had a bit of a problem Finding this place. It had dropped to the third page !!!!"

Looking around Power Man sees all of the skimpy outfits on the FBW. OH I Really like the little transparent pink ones with the twirling tassels.

And is that an orgasmatron ?? I thought those were Banned in most parts of the Galaxy?? It's very Big too. I thought these were to be used by lonely Singles ??

Approaching the bar Power Man asks "Hi Taz, How about a large order of Tribble wings with Honey Mustard sauce with a large Al to with it?"

[primitive]

Originally posted by Power Man:
Looking around Power Man sees all of the skimpy outfits on the FBW. OH I Really like the little transparent pink ones with the twirling tassels.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Which one is that ?
http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at334.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at335.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at336.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at337.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at338.gif

[mac5732]

Primitive, OOHHHH, MMYYYY, indescribable outfits http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Have to boost the old ticker, ahahhhhh, I like number 3 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Always wanted to know what the outfits looked like, now we know http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

just some ideas mac

[Kamog]

This place is kind of quiet lately... where did everybody go?

[General Woundwort]

Here (http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=000017). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ September 20, 2003, 11:36: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[mac5732]

I'm still around as well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas Mac

[minipol]

I'm here too.
* Minipol sits down and orders a "Barbar". Of course Mr. Tigga doesn't have the special glass that should be used when drinking this beer with a taste of honey. Luckily minipol has his own special Barbar glass with him (can you really leave the house without?) and poors it in.
He, the joy of sweetness *

[primitive]

Primitive enters the cantina.

This place really needs cleaning up. Spiderwebs everywhere, there is even a nest of killer bee's hanging from the Phong's head over the fireplace. Primitive carefully loosens the nest with his rusty (yet pointy) spear, trying to carry it outside.
-- Dang, lost it.
Luckily for Primitive the bees goes straight for Minipol and his honey beer. Ah, the joy of sweetness http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Rollo]

In the royal booth a tattered and little roughed up Viking crawls from under the table, followed by a Famke Jansen clone.
"uuhm, did I miss anything? Bartender!, open a keg of mead from my personal storage and fill everyones mug."

[ September 21, 2003, 21:40: Message edited by: Rollo ]

[minipol]

* AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH minipol tries to shake off the bees but after a few beers running straight isn't easy * AAAA * OUCH * AAAARGGHH *