the summer people are here early this year
We are flattered by the recent wave of immigration to Ulm. Clearly our neighbors are discovering what we have known all along, the beauty of the Ulmish mountains, the peaceful green of Ulm's meadows (especially now, in spring, when the wildflowers are blooming), and the charm and kind-heartedness of the Ulmish maidens. However we must insist that you leave your weapons at the border! This is for your own protection. The young men of Ulm are prone (we are sad to say) to heavy drinking on the weekends. Normally the damage is no worse than a few black eyes and broken barstools, but if well-meaning but ignorant immigrants bring weapons into the equation, we fear for the worst (for you, not us--Ulmish youths are likely to get the wrong impression if you show up at a bar fully armed and eyeing aforementioned Ulmish maidens, and they are likely to go home and come back with their cousins and their own weapons, and that would go badly for all).
So, in summary:
-- visitors welcome
-- no weapons
-- and please tip your server 15% on the way out
the Greater Ulm Chamber of Commerce
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