Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Growltigger]

OK, warp engines are on-line, phaser bank are charged, photon torpedoes are ready to go, the fluffy dice are hanging from the helmsman's console..

Barry is in cargo hold 4, trying to squeeze into a red shirt the size of a playing field.

Doctor Geo is testing the FBWs down in sickbay (Dammit I'm a doctor, not a multi-jointed contortionist!), Commander Scoffo is looking strained on the bridge, Patsy the PVC Pervert is on communications, Commander Erax is playing with his spanner in engineering, Lieutenant Kamog is fiddling about in his drawers, Taz is mixing up some extra strong sauerkraut down on ten forward, Power Man is straddling both helm and weapon consoles, Mr S'Katchoo is playing computer games at his science station...

Hmmmm, I guess a navigator is a bit of a luxory on this trip but when he re-surfaces, I nominate David Gervais as I think he could find his backside with both hands which is more than the rest of us, and as for a counsellor, I nominate Gryphin whenever he turns up to the party....

Number 1, set course for Fart Point. Mr Power Man, Warp 5, engage