Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Erax]

Realizing that the ship still has more holes in it than the story he's going to tell his wife when he gets home, Erax picks up an anti-proton welder, loads some inner hull plating on an antigrav sled and starts wandering around, patching holes and talking to the ship.

"They hurt you, baby, but it's going to be all right, I'l fix ye right up..."

Intercom: "Engineer Erax, please report to the transporter room."

Erax: "Darn. Er, I mean, Aye, Aye, Mr. Scoffo. Computer, please switch off Holodeck Four. Liuetenant Kamog, quit yer fooling in there and take over patching the hull."

[ May 01, 2003, 10:45: Message edited by: Erax ]

[Growltigger]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Myself and the ships new counsler, Troi, have blissfully matted

Oh no I haven't, I am saving myself for some Orion green-skinned dancing girl!! If it was good enough for Kirk, it is good enough for me!

Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat leaves his ready room and walks onto the bridge. He looks towards the viewscreen and is startled to see an armada of huge menacing space dreadnoughts heading toward the TSSS Phong's Head. Suddenly, actinic fire shoots towards the dreadnoughts, they fire back and the dauntless captain jumpsinto his chair and hits the red alert button.....

Mr Power Man, full shields and load all photon torpedo bays, charge the phaser banks and find out who the hell is shooting at those dreadnoughts......

A message flashes up onto the screen "Game over game over".

The bridge goes quiet, all that can he heard is the klaxon going "Awooga Awooga Awooga". As one, the bridge crew look toward Mr S'Katchoo, today arrayed in a fey crimpolene and winceyette uniform, who is clutching the controls to his playstation 2 and looking a bit embarassed.

Mr Power Man, please re-set your phaser to "extreme agony" and shoot that bloody vulcan (TM) numpty-head in the backside.....

The captain goes back to his ready room for a lie down and a rest

[ May 01, 2003, 15:23: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[Atrocities]

Oh no I haven't, I am saving myself for some Orion green-skinned dancing girl!! If it was good enough for Kirk, it is good enough for me!

This statement causes PCP much agony as he visualizes the Captain with a Green Orion slave wentch, yelling at her "Who's yo daddy, who's yo daddy." Atro shudders uncontrollably and considers using phaser to end life.

[Gryphin]

When they finaly beam down they will with incredible random accuracy arive right in front of me waving a towel.
Hey guys, can you give me a ride. can I join you? can I have a spify red shirt?

[dogscoff]

Oh no I haven't, I am saving myself for some Orion green-skinned dancing girl!! If it was good enough for Kirk, it is good enough for me!

A hole in the ceiling opens up and a mountain of Orions immmediately falls out to bury the Captain.

Infuriated, he digs his way out and yells
"I said Orion, not onion!"

A hole in the ceiling opens up and a mountain of onions immmediately falls out to bury the Captain and the mountain of Orions.

"That's better."

Gryph, you are more than welcome. I think 'Tig has already reserved a spot for you on the crew. Look back a page or two.

[ May 01, 2003, 16:50: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Growltigger]

Captain to first officer, Ryker, sorry Scoffo you utter oik, get a cleaning crew into the captain's ready room immediately, I appear tobe buried under a pile of sweaty naked orion green-skinned dancing girls, as well as a pile of shallots...

hang on, belay that order, give me a hour before you send in the cleaning crew, something here needs to be probed deeply....

snicker snicker

[Power Man]

Power Man resets his Large, Powerful, Amazing, Long, Phase Energy Pistol and gives that bloody vulcan (TM) numpty-head a “Brief” shot in the backside.

“Boy I am glad the Captain did not see that it was I who was controlling the armada of huge menacing space dreadnoughts heading toward the TSSS Phong's Head.
I mean we were only.. uh … Practicing our Space Combat lessons.. Ya that’s it.
We were not PLAYING !! “

Putting the ship into PARKing Orbit Power Man asks Mr S'Katchoo , “ Hay I just got a beta copy of Space Empires: Starfury for the Holodeck. I hear that Holodeck Four in available. How about we go down and get in some more “Practice”?

Power Man pushes a button on the controls. A large green light starts flashing. The light is labeled “Designated Driver Device”. There, I’m ready. Lets go have some fun Play— er Practicing.