Jokes and Riddles Centre

[narf poit chez BOOM]

nope. there's very little in there that bear's a resemblence to what it was.

[Kamog]

Um, how about this?

"The function of the One is now to return to the source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals, 16 female, 7 male, to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race."

[narf poit chez BOOM]

something from the matrix.

[David E. Gervais]

The Matrix is simply a rock without mass, water without liquid, Light without brightness,... etc, etc, etc..

[Loser]

Strange things happen when you translate the following line.

just a reminder to all employees, please keep your hands off of Matt's computer. It does not belong to you so you do not have permission to use it.

express that all the rectum a service repeated with him uses to him, far requests its moved hands with distant from chechmate of the calculation. It does not belong to him, therefore, not who the permission to be used.

A friend sent this, and it's final product to me with the question "where did the rectum come from?".

Looks like "reminder" ~ "callback" = "recto un servicio repetido" = "rectum a service repeated"...

Those crazy Spanish.

[CEO TROLL]

I tried to get some help with "All your base are belong to us."

---
Its superficial lower whole number is belongs to us.

---
The superficial relative under complete to the east of the number belongs more to us.

---
The surface was used underneath soft on the other hand in the east that the number inside belongs they more.

--- Now Include Chinese, Japanese, and Korean ---
Its superficial lower whole number, is he inner he we, he is connected.

amusing

[Ed Kolis]

And now for something completely different...

It's a little known fact that after destroying the evil Galactic Empire, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia went on to run a flea circus.

So one evening Luke was training the fleas and he said to Leia, "Hey Leia, come over here... the fleas won't jump."

Leia came over and looked at the fleas, poked them with her finger, said, "Yep, they won't jump, Luke."

Luke said to Leia, "Well we can't go and run a flea circus if the fleas won't jump! You've got to have some idea WHY!"

So Leia sang a song, and that explained to Luke why the fleas wouldn't jump.

WHAT SONG DID LEIA SING?

(Hint: It's a pun on a song from "Guys & Dolls" )

[Kamog]

If the fleas don't jump, Luke can always cheat by using the Force to move them around.

[Wardad]

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a
night light, turned on the answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and
put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and
requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to
leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into
the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat
the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get
the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't
want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi
driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say
goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long,"
he says, as they drive away. "Stupid ***** was hiding under the bed. Had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her
in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat
*** downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver veered off the road and hit a parked car...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

that's one reason to tell the truth...