OT: Hell is For Heroes.

[dogscoff]

...Do all private vessels in this universe regularly carry military weapons?

Wouldn't be much of a story if they didn't:

(With apologies to AZ)

The Defiant was a decommissioned Revolution-class destroyer, and as such it was completely unarmed, its once-fearsome weaponry now safely retired to a dusty shelf in some military spaceyard. Even the Komsa-class reconnaissance destroyer’s sensor suite he'd wanted, and which would have fitted perfectly into his hull, had been denied him by the law that forbade military-grade hardware being installed into civilian craft. Which is why his ship was beeping at long after it was too late to do anything about the light cruiser and two corvettes bearing down on him on a direct intercept course. O’Shea sat and watched the three blips moving steadily closer to him, though any ship moving on a course that direct and at that speed didn’t leave much to the imagination as to their intentions. A stripped-down Revolution-class like his, now employed as a cargo-laden courier ship made tempting target for pirates, and the three ships heading towards him seemed to be following the standard (and successful) tactics for capturing a speedy prey.

From his readouts, it was readily apparent to O’Shea that the three ships barreling towards him had already built up enough speed to overtake him well before he reached the nearest jump-node, even if the pirates hadn’t been in between him and said node. Seconds later, his com-screen beeped and the words

Cut your engines and drop your shields

appeared on the screen. No voice, no visual, and completely lacking in piratiness, O’Shea reflected. No ‘Arrrr!’ and not even the essential ‘Prepare to be boarded.’
"Please don't shoot," He squealed into the comm, "I'm unarmed." Long seconds dripped from the viewscreen as he awaited the reply. Suddenly, his sensors told him that the pirates had cut their acceleration, and a new message appeared on his screen:
"Actually, so are we."
"Phew!" Thought O’Shea, and returned to his pint.