It sounds like those Last two suggestion thought I was playing over a LAN. We are trying to TCP/IP through the net. Both of use have routers. They have been DMZ'd, had firewalls disabled and allowed traffic through ports 6716-6720. Still we get this result. Very frustrating.
Are you positive you are both using the exact same Version of the game and the exact same data files? Not sure if that would give this particular error, but it is worth a shot.