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April 22nd, 2002, 06:06 PM
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Colonel
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Penury
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
Like it except for the reference to British companies
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Ook ook ook ook OOK
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April 22nd, 2002, 06:06 PM
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First Lieutenant
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Texas
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
That is funny. I especially like the Last one.
Note where I am posting from. 
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April 22nd, 2002, 06:35 PM
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General
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Canada
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Changing the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Donating the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Doing a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve productivity.
16. Purchasing an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declaring that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
18. Forming a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
19. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for horses.
and if all else fails:
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
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old avatar = http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin...1051567998.jpg
Hey GUTB where did you go...???
He is still driving his mighty armada at 3 miles per month along the interstellar highway bypass and will be arriving shortly
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April 22nd, 2002, 07:19 PM
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Corporal
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: NJ, USA
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
quote: Originally posted by tesco samoa:
and if all else fails:
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Now how many of us have seen the "Peter Principle +1" in action?:
Promoting a dead horse to one level above his incompetence.
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[i]I think I can see my house from here!</i] - Comment by Klingon in the [i]Unexpected</i] episode of Enterprise upon experiencing the Xyrillian-installed holographic chamber showing a simulation of the capital city of Qon'oS.
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April 22nd, 2002, 08:34 PM
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Lieutenant General
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oxford, UK
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
Back to capitalism jokes: politicaly correct capitalism:
You have two cows. You got sued for $1000000000 for sexualy harrasing them. You did fondle their breasts, did't you ?
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It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. - Voltaire
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April 23rd, 2002, 07:32 PM
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Captain
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: USA
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Re: OT: Our Economy (US)
I don't think yanking and squeezing until milk comes out can be considered fondling.
Politically correct capitalism:
You have 100 cows and one bull. You are sued by the gov't for gender discrimination in your hiring practices. They force you to take on another 99 bulls and provide them with substitute employment. You try bull-fighting, but are shut down by the SPCA. You try the mountain oyster business, but are shut down by PETA (not to mention the wildcat strike). You try marketing a new health shake (vanilla only), but the FDA objects. Fortunately (?) you filmed the manufacturing process and start a thriving internet business. Only politically-incorrect Groups object to this, so you're finally left in peace and making money hand over fist. You buy your way into the Senate, serve the public faithfully for 21 years, but then are hounded out of office by decades-old accusations of "fondling."
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