Advise

[Kamog]

Does that really happen? Women actually approach men and offer them drinks? Well, if that ever happens to me, I guess I'll only accept if she is pretty.

I wonder if this trick works the other way... no, probably not. Women are smarter than men and they'll probably sense that it's a scam immediately.

[Wardad]

Subject:Training Courses For Men

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge.

2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet

3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference

6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away

7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!

9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

10. Accepting Your Limitations: Haveing Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink.

12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash The Towels!

13. Bathroom Etiquette III: How Tell ou're About to run out of Toilet Paper!

14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill

15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970's Polyester Shirts

16. No, Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware

17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel

18. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them

19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

20. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It

21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh

23. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

24. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

[Kamog]

LOL.

The training course sounds like a list of annoying chores. Let's see if we can simplify things to be more efficient.

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge.
Hire a maid. If you can't afford a maid, then don't ever step on the floor; it might get dirty!

2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
Hire a maid. If you can't afford a maid, then empty everything from the closet and put it in the garage: you instantly have a neat, tidy, empty closet!

3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
There is no need. Just don't look under there and we're OK.

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
Easy. If the item cannot be identified, then throw it away.

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference
You can disguise a splatter stain by creating many similar stains, evenly spaced out in a grid arrangement so that it looks like a pattern.

6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away
Some containers should be recycled!

7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away
See #4.

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
There are Online grocery stores where you order stuff on the web and they deliver it to your home.

9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
Conveniently, listening can be done while doing other things.

10. Accepting Your Limitations: Haveing Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
If you can't fix it, it means you don't have enough power tools; or you don't have big enough power tools. Or maybe you need some Duct Tape.

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink.
Beard clippings are composed of organic material and are therefore biodegradable. They will eventually decompose and disappear on their own.

12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash The Towels!
Are towels supposed to bend?

13. Bathroom Etiquette III: How Tell ou're About to run out of Toilet Paper!
You are about to run out of toilet paper when you can see the cardboard tube.

14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill
How are you supposed to know how old your clothes are?

15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970's Polyester Shirts
OK, examine the shirts... (they look like shirts) Done! Check off that one off the list.

16. No, Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
Solution: just use paper plates and pLastic cups. Throw them away after use.

17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel
Huh?

18. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
Nobody seems to be around when you're lost. If you do see someone, they're probably lost too.

19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
McDonald's, Burger King, Subway ...

20. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It
See #22.

21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
Solution: get two TV's

22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
Why do women laugh? I don't know. (There, I said it!)

23. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
Then you need a new car.

24. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
There's job interviews, too.

[tbontob]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Does that really happen? Women actually approach men and offer them drinks? Well, if that ever happens to me, I guess I'll only accept if she is pretty.

I wonder if this trick works the other way... no, probably not. Women are smarter than men and they'll probably sense that it's a scam immediately.

LOL

Studies have consistently shown that about 80% of the men will accept a proposition from a strange woman to go to bed with them. In contrast it is 0% when the proposer is a male.

In these studies, the proposal is usually made in the daytime and in a benign setting.

I suspect the percentages will be a bit closer when the parties go pubbing as both parties are somewhat mentally prepared for it. Women especially are more likely to go pubbing when they are ovulating and will then give many signs of their preparedness for "the proposal" with much skimpier dresswear, more hair flings, more smiles, more eye contact, more 'inadvertent' touching etc.

In any event, it is quite a contrast, to say the least.

[Wardad]

Kamog,

LOL

[mlmbd]

Kamog, Excellent! LOL

mlmbd

[geoschmo]

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop & The Sponge.
Hire a maid. If you can't afford a maid, then don't ever step on the floor; it might get dirty!
If you could afford a maid why would you ever get married?

2. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
Hire a maid. If you can't afford a maid, then empty everything from the closet and put it in the garage: you instantly have a neat, tidy, empty closet!
Better plan. Leave the stuff in the closet and go pretend to work in the garage till she leaves you alone.

3. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
There is no need. Just don't look under there and we're OK.
Here's some money honey. Go buy a big enough comforter so that it hangs down to the floor.

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?: You CAN tell the Difference
You can disguise a splatter stain by creating many similar stains, evenly spaced out in a grid arrangement so that it looks like a pattern.
I don't know art, but I know what I like.

6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away
Some containers should be recycled!
7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, You Can Throw It Away
See #4.
The trash can is gender blind.

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
There are Online grocery stores where you order stuff on the web and they deliver it to your home.
Statistics show that after work, the supermarket is the leading point where affairs begin in America. But if you really want me to go I will...

9. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
Conveniently, listening can be done while doing other things.
God gave me two ears and two eyes. Do you really need all four to be wasted doing one thing at a time?

14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 5-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill
How are you supposed to know how old your clothes are?
Since your wife buys all your clothes, she can tell you how old they are. If she didn't buy them they are at least as old as your relationship. Call your mother/ex-wife if you have to know exactly.