OT: Advice....

[Renegade 13]

Slynky's thread on love has gotten me thinking. Which may not be such a good thing

Ok, so here's the situation that I could use some advice with:
I've been going to school with this one girl for the past 12 years, since kindergarten. We're friends, not close friends, but friends. Well, she may not know it, but I really like her. I've also gotten the impression that she may (and I stress "may") like me as more than just a friend. Now we come to the advice part. Should I let her know how I feel, and risk the causing a rift in the friendship (making it "weird"), or should I just be content being her friend?? I really don't know what to do here, and have been in the same position for about the past year. Only now she's single, so there's actually a chance for me. Now, lets just say that this is one beautiful girl, with a great personality, so I'm not exactly in her league.

Like I said, advice would be appreciated. Even if its of the "shut the hell up and quit complaining to us. Oh and while you're at it, get a LIFE!" kind

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Not much experience there, but if you don't try, you'll probably woncer 'if' for a long time. Or so say people with more experience than me.

Side note: I've still got a crush on one of my sister's friends. I got it about ten years ago...And she's married now!

Man, these things stick around for a loooong time...She gave me my first stack of comic books. We had a few others, but those were mine.

[Instar]

go for it, you'll regret not finding out
but don't get dorky or whatever, don't approach situation heavy handed is what I mean
dont worry about rejection, you'll live and (hopefully) still have a friend

anyhow
like I said previously
love is crap

[Nodachi]

OK, the first thing I'll point out is that you seldom make gains without risk, the trick is to minimize your risk!

Seriously, since you don't want to mess up your friendship then you should take things slowly. Just hang with her as a friend to see if the chemistry is really there. If it is you'll know it.

The downside to going about it that way is that she may wind up thinking friendship is all you're interested in. That can lead to some painful situations for you.

Personally, I'd go ahead and tell her. Being up-front really is the best way to go.

Sometimes people ask for advice knowing what the responses will be, they just want to hear someone else say it. You already know the right answer, you just need to follow through and do it.

[Alneyan]

"Shut the hell up and quit complaining to us. Oh, and while you're at it, get a LIFE!" Sorry, I couldn't just repress the urge of doing it, since you expressly asked for it.

Slightly more seriously: I would go with Narf's advice myself, but you shouldn't be listening to me here.

[Raging Deadstar]

Been/Am there Renegade. It's a headache alright. Same thing happened between me and my best friend at one point (well, it was before we became best friends). I liked her, She liked me and we were both too worried or shy to say anything. Two years later we actually found out we both liked each other and laughed about it. I don't see her much these days but we decided to stay friends and stay on the "safe" track. But I am in the same situation now, a very good friend of mine and I have began to hit it off and it's exactly the same for me, all I can say is if she's as good as my friend then you're a lucky guy.

All I can say is you might have a chance, When ever i'm in this situation I get paranoid which makes me doubtfull when really there's more chance than I think. And from the ammount of threads you post like this questioning advice and such I can guess you can't have too bad a personality, sometimes nice guys don't finish Last so there's hope for us yet . I'd say go with Nodachi's advice, it's what I'd do/am doing.

And whatever you choose to do Good Luck with it, it always helps to have some nearby. And as everybody's been saying, if it doesn't work out there will be another chance with another, you won't find the right girl the first time around unless you're dam lucky! (hence the luck )

[President_Elect_Shang]

Well I can’t say that I have ever been in that spot myself but my advice is this:

If you are true friends than letting her know how you feel will not hurt the friendship. If she does not feel the same about you it will at least make her feel good to know the truth. I know that sounds strange but after 10 years with this chick of mine the one thing I have learned for certain is that they do not think like us men, if she feels the same way than you both will be happier for it.

Now here is the part where I do have experience:

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I am not saying it isn’t out there, just that I have never felt it. I have only meet two ladies I wanted to marry and one of those I did, I never felt “love at first sight” for either of them but I did feel “something” inside that told me “I would like to spend my life with her”. So what is my point you ask? My point is that after 12 years if you do not have this feeling than I would think you are actually just feeling the love of a long and dear friendship. Making a move to seek something deeper might even work for a year or more but it will probably just end in hurt. I don’t think you should ask her for something more than what you have, but you should at least respect her enough to tell her the truth so she can decide what she wants.

I hope that is not too confusing.

[bearclaw]

Once again, as others have said. Tell her. Been in similar situations too and, yep, if you don't you'll regret it for years later.

1) don't be too casul or 'slick' about it.
2) don't be too oppressive or dramtic about it.

In a nutshell, she'll respond to your confidance. If you talk to her thinking 'she's out of my league', then you're right. And she can tell (women are strange that way).

Sooner is always better than later.

[PvK]

First decide whether you want to risk the friendship for the chance or not, because it could mess it up.

If so, then resist temptation to reveal feelings you already have. Ask her out as casually as you can, and don't let her know you you already _really_ like her, until it's demonstrated she _really_ likes you back. Generally she'll want to develop affection _with_ you, and not to know about any feelings you had before you were going out, as that tends to just scare girls or creep them out.

PvK

[PvK]

Oh, and you could also consider than since you only have less than a year before graduation, you may not be seeing anyone you went to grade school with much after then anyway.