Jokes and Riddles Centre [Archive]

Taera

July 18th, 2003, 07:12 PM

There are lotsa jokes all around the place... the Nonsense Thread, the Advise thread... why dont we get a sticky thread where they all go? i think it would be a great collection to have along the Newbie FAQ, Modlist etc http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ July 22, 2003, 09:46: Message edited by: Taera ]

narf poit chez BOOM

July 19th, 2003, 07:51 AM

yeah!

Taera

July 19th, 2003, 07:52 AM

uhh... so it isnt SUCH a bad idea it seemed when it went all the way down??

narf poit chez BOOM

July 20th, 2003, 08:11 AM

i like it.

why did the eel cross the road?

Jack Simth

July 20th, 2003, 08:56 AM

To get to the other side?

Kamog

July 21st, 2003, 04:15 AM

Hmm, I have never seen an eel cross a road. Do they come up on land to do that? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Ragnarok

July 21st, 2003, 04:21 AM

Originally posted by Kamog:
Hmm, I have never seen an eel cross a road. Do they come up on land to do that? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif No, sea cretures have roads as well. Have you not seen Sponge Bob Square Pants yet? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

geoschmo

July 21st, 2003, 05:12 AM

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Kamog:
Hmm, I have never seen an eel cross a road. Do they come up on land to do that? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif No, sea cretures have roads as well. Have you not seen Sponge Bob Square Pants yet? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif <hr /></blockquote>You ever notice how in Spongebob they always make such a big deal about flying? I mean, they are all fish living under water. They ought to be able to swim, right? All the fish in an airplane flying over bikini bottom, but it's still under water so why do they need a plane? It doesn't make any sense. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Geoschmo

Ragnarok

July 21st, 2003, 03:30 PM

Originally posted by Thermodyne:
Please tell me that someone tied you down and forced you to watch that show. Say that you don't watch it because you want to. Say it aint so. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif I don't go into the TV room and sit down and look for that to be on and then watch it. My little sister and my dad love that show (my sister even has posters and crap above her computer) but if they are watching it and I have nothing else to do I'll sit down and watch it. But usually shortly after I sit down my dad finds something useful on TV and watchs Star Trek. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Geo, I have noticed that before. As you said it makes no sense, but none of that show makes sense. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Suicide Junkie

July 21st, 2003, 04:41 PM

They ought to be able to swim, right?Starfish and Sponges and Crabs don't swim very well. The fish are all background characters and don't count http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Wardad

July 21st, 2003, 10:44 PM

A Day at the Races....

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrac (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one holding onto their "weewees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th".
"No, ma'am," he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the 4th but thanks for the lift".

Thermodyne

July 22nd, 2003, 01:50 AM

Please tell me that someone tied you down and forced you to watch that show. Say that you don't watch it because you want to. Say it aint so. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Taera

July 22nd, 2003, 01:54 AM

well, i can see the meaning, cant see the joke though http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 03:16 AM

no, no, to get to the other tide!

eel's migrate overland. although usually only on marshes.

Spoo

July 22nd, 2003, 04:09 AM

NASA developed a special gun to fire a (dead) chicken at high speeds to test the duribility of the space shuttle in the event of a collision with a flock of birds during flight. The French, who were at the time developing a new high-speed train, asked NASA if they could borrow the gun to test out the glass in the train's windshield. The results were disasterous. The chicken crashed through the shatter-proof glass, demolished the control panel, and imbedded itself in the back of the control room. Naturally, the French engineers were frantic and they begged NASA to help them bird-proof their train. NASA's solution was simple:

Thaw the chicken first.

[edit=splelling]

[ July 22, 2003, 04:48: Message edited by: Spoo ]

Taera

July 22nd, 2003, 04:15 AM

lol, thats a good joke.

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 07:19 AM

a man rides into town on friday, stays two days, rides out on friday.

how?

[ July 22, 2003, 06:21: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Krsqk

July 22nd, 2003, 07:25 AM

Ummm...His horse's name is Friday?

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 07:34 AM

correct!

*gives krsqk a medal*

now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 07:38 AM

I have no idea, but it's crawling up your leg....

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 07:40 AM

ARGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT

um. HEY, THERE'S NOTHING ON MY LEG!

*whacks Jack with one of his shiny hammers and then the other on the other side of Jack's head.

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 07:46 AM

*holds head for a bit*

Hey now! Don't make me sore for beating you to the punchline!

Atrocities

July 22nd, 2003, 07:48 AM

*****HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN*****
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO. EZ36C-24-36
"WOMAN" A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas, concentrations noted in and around malls.

Physical properties:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. bitter if used incorrectly
5. Exists naturally in various states: ranges from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure at correct points

Chemical properties:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. may explode spontaneously with no warning and for no reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly after saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common uses:
1. Highly ornamental, particularly in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:
1. Pure specimens turn rosy pink in their natural state
2. Turns green when placed besides a better specimen

Potential hazards:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations provided specimens do not come into direct contact with one another

****WARNING*************WARNING*************WARNIN G****
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

[ July 22, 2003, 06:51: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 07:49 AM

it wasn't the punchline, it's a riddle. and i hit you for making me panic. and remember: cartoon weapons - cartoon damage. recovering only takes a few shakes.

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 07:52 AM

Are you sure it's a riddle? I've heard a lot of variations on it as a joke, with exactly that same punchline. I suppose there isn't any reason one type of setup can't have multiple desired results, so it could be both, couldn't it?

Atrocities

July 22nd, 2003, 07:56 AM

Ok lets see if I can do this correctly.

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

I know the answer to this riddle so it can be answered. Have fun.

Kamog

July 22nd, 2003, 07:57 AM

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?A dog and two humans in an airplane?

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 07:59 AM

that's an answer.

*gives kamog a medal*

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 08:02 AM

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ok lets see if I can do this correctly.

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

I know the answer to this riddle so it can be answered. Have fun.Nothing - it's a counting problem. After the $5 rebate, the total charge was $25. The belhop added a $2 tip on top of that, resulting in the $27 figure (which matches - each renter paid $10, and got $1 back, resulting in each paying $9 overall). Adding the $2 back into the number to bring it up to $29 is counting the belhop's cut twice - you can't do that, so we still stand at $27. The Last $1.00 went to the renters, as did two others.

[ July 22, 2003, 07:09: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 08:04 AM

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?
30 men
5 bellhop
3 split to men
2 split to bellhop
25 what it would have been after the deduction
3 what was the deduction
28 what it was after the deduction
2 what the bellhop got
30 the total

it works there. i'm not sure why it doesn't work in your example.

aw. Jack got there first.

[ July 22, 2003, 07:09: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Kamog

July 22nd, 2003, 08:08 AM

$9 per person to stay at a hotel? That's a good deal! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Nocturnal

July 22nd, 2003, 08:09 AM

[edit:] Whoo, a lot of people jumped all over this one. LOL

[ July 22, 2003, 09:16: Message edited by: Nocturnal ]

Krsqk

July 22nd, 2003, 08:14 AM

Oooh! Me! Me! Call on me! I know! I know! Oh, wait. We're already done with that problem.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

So, why do women like shopping? Oh, yeah, this is a joke thread, not a puzzle thread. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 08:17 AM

Originally posted by Nocturnal:
This riddle shouldn't mystify anyone who's passed grade school...It isn't so much the math that people have trouble with, but the presentation. The problem quietly counts the belhop's cut twice, and neglects to count the rebate properly. Some people check the math, but not the logic behind it, and come up with the $29 figure again. Others do the logic and math on their own, but don't compare intermediate steps (narf's confusion as to why they don't match). Some will run it independantly and compare the intermediate steps (the two of us, apparently). I believe that is where the riddle lies, rather than in the math itself.

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 09:38 AM

no-one else is going to take a stab at mine?

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 09:40 AM

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
no-one else is going to take a stab at mine?Umm, which one was yours again?

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 09:42 AM

now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 09:52 AM

You want more?

A shapeshifter who wants to be scary.

A six-eyed eight-legged flying dragon.

Two humans on a pegasus.

[ July 22, 2003, 08:55: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

narf poit chez BOOM

July 22nd, 2003, 10:04 AM

and we're up to four answer's

*gives Jack three medals*

and, by process of elimination, eventually someone will get it.

CNCRaymond

July 22nd, 2003, 10:16 AM

Originally posted by Nocturnal:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ok lets see if I can do this correctly.

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

I know the answer to this riddle so it can be answered. Have fun.You've got the sign wrong. That should be $9*3 - the $2 squirreled by the bellhop, + $5 change = $30
Or put more logically, $25 (actual cost of the room) = $9*3 (paid by the patrons) - $2 (stolen by the bellhop)

This riddle shouldn't mystify anyone who's passed grade school...<hr /></blockquote>Are you insulting him? I recall this god for saken riddle going around work for over a month before I finally took an interest in it. Some of the smartest people in my company could not figure it out and PCP figured it our in less than 30 seconds after I showed it to him. It blew everyone away including me as it took me a minute or so to figure it out.

So yes, your correct, it is a simple riddle if you know math, but most people are fooled when you ADD the $2.00 and not subtract it.

So don't go insulting the messinger for delivering the message friend!

[ July 22, 2003, 09:19: Message edited by: CNCRaymond ]

CNCRaymond

July 22nd, 2003, 10:23 AM

Originally posted by Nocturnal:
[edit:] Whoo, a lot of people jumped all over this one. LOLSorry, I did not mean to jump on you friend. It is early and I have been up all day. No harm no foul. Please accept my apology.

Nocturnal

July 22nd, 2003, 10:30 AM

Here's a nice one.

While vacationing, you discover that you have been robbed. Your wallet and all your cash have been stolen.

You cannot afford to pay for a hotel room, and since it's a local holiday all the banks are closed. You won't be able to send for any money for seven days.

You go to the hotel you reserved and explain the situation, but they refuse to extend credit.
However, you are wearing a gold bracelet with seven links, of the kind that closes with a clasp. Each link is worth enough to pay for a night in your hotel. The hotel is willing to accept this as collateral until you can pay in full.

Being a suspicious type yourself, you'll only let the hotel have as much collateral as they are due on any given day. Today you leave one link, tomorrow two, the next day three, and so on until the week is up when you'll leave all seven. By then you will be able to pay in full and retrieve your bracelet.

This agreed to, you prepare to cut the bracelet. Considering its high emotional-value, you want to do as little damage as possible so it may be easily repaired. What is the fewest number of cuts you can make so the hotel may hold onto all the collateral they need on any day, but no more?

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 10:43 AM

Originally posted by Nocturnal:
Here's a nice one.

While vacationing, you discover that you have been robbed. Your wallet and all your cash have been stolen.

You cannot afford to pay for a hotel room, and since it's a local holiday all the banks are closed. You won't be able to send for any money for seven days.

You go to the hotel you reserved and explain the situation, but they refuse to extend credit.
However, you are wearing a gold bracelet with seven links, of the kind that closes with a clasp. Each link is worth enough to pay for a night in your hotel. The hotel is willing to accept this as collateral until you can pay in full.

Being a suspicious type yourself, you'll only let the hotel have as much collateral as they are due on any given day. Today you leave one link, tomorrow two, the next day three, and so on until the week is up when you'll leave all seven. By then you will be able to pay in full and retrieve your bracelet.

This agreed to, you prepare to cut the bracelet. Considering its high emotional-value, you want to do as little damage as possible so it may be easily repaired. What is the fewest number of cuts you can make so the hotel may hold onto all the collateral they need on any day, but no more?It can be done with a single cut:
0: Undo clasp, so it is a line;
1: Cut link 3 and remove (one + two connected, four+five+six+seven connected)

Process:
First day: give single link. (you: 2+4, them: 1)
Second Day: retrieve single, give double (you: 1+4, them: 2)
Third day: give single (you: 4, them: 2+1)
Fourth day: retrieve all, give quad (you: 2+1, them: 4)
Fifth day: give single (you: 2, them: 4+1)
Sixth day: retrieve single, give double: (you: 1, them: 4+2)
Seventh (final) day: give single (you: none, them: 4+2+1)

It's disguised binary counting.

[ July 22, 2003, 09:46: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

Jack Simth

July 22nd, 2003, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?A spider with a mostly eaten fly.

Taera

July 22nd, 2003, 11:26 AM

spiders have eight legs. count them out.

Taera

July 22nd, 2003, 11:26 AM

*lightbulb*
i know, a spider with a pair of wings instead of one pair of legs.

Nocturnal

July 22nd, 2003, 02:26 PM

Originally posted by Jack Simth:
It can be done with a single cut:
0: Undo clasp, so it is a line;
1: Cut link 3 and remove (one + two connected, four+five+six+seven connected)

Process:
First day: give single link. (you: 2+4, them: 1)
Second Day: retrieve single, give double (you: 1+4, them: 2)
Third day: give single (you: 4, them: 2+1)
Fourth day: retrieve all, give quad (you: 2+1, them: 4)
Fifth day: give single (you: 2, them: 4+1)
Sixth day: retrieve single, give double: (you: 1, them: 4+2)
Seventh (final) day: give single (you: none, them: 4+2+1)

It's disguised binary counting.Very good. That is correct.

Wardad

July 22nd, 2003, 06:22 PM

THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!!!!
well almost http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/

Loser

July 23rd, 2003, 01:39 AM

Originally posted by Taera:
*lightbulb*
i know, a spider with a pair of wings instead of one pair of legs.Arthropod physiology is different from vertebrate physiology in significant ways. If I recall correctly, arthropod wings did not develop from specialized limbs, but rather from specialized sections of carapace. Much the same way, a scorpion has eight legs, it's claws are overdeveloped mandibles.

As a side note, there are no flying arachnids. Though there are some sailing spinners and ballistic leapers, which could be close but is not powered flight.

Loser

July 23rd, 2003, 01:41 AM

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?A mounted Falconer.

narf poit chez BOOM

July 23rd, 2003, 03:57 AM

spiders have eight legs.

five answers, another medal for Jack, making four.

and the falconer guy is going to have to explain his answer.

mac5732

July 23rd, 2003, 04:07 AM

Try this one

Your in a sealed room. No windows, doors, cracks, every thing is solid, 4 walls, ceiling and floor. The only thing in it is as follows

l table
l mirror
You

how do you get out ???/

just some ideas Mac

geoschmo

July 23rd, 2003, 04:22 AM

Originally posted by mac5732:
Try this one

Your in a sealed room. No windows, doors, cracks, every thing is solid, 4 walls, ceiling and floor. The only thing in it is as follows

l table
l mirror
You

how do you get out ???/

just some ideas MacHow can you tell what's there? You didn't say there was any light in the room. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Kamog

July 23rd, 2003, 04:30 AM

Well, if there is no light, you can tell that the objects are there by touching them, but you won't know that the mirror is a mirror.

Suicide Junkie

July 23rd, 2003, 04:42 AM

If there is no air, you will die fefore you can do much of anything.

As a ghost, you can then pass through walls, no problem.

Ragnarok

July 23rd, 2003, 05:26 AM

I will simply use my handy communication device (stored in my back pocket) and contact the Enterprise and they will beam me out of the room. Rather simple if you ask me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Phoenix-D

July 23rd, 2003, 07:28 AM

"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mounted Falconer."

Pretty simple. A falconer is someone who trainers falcons. so you have:

Falcon: 2 wings, 2 eyes, 2 legs.
Person: 2 eyes 2 legs
Horse: 2 eyes, 4 legs

Total: 2 wings, 6 eyes, eight legs. Exactly as asked.

narf poit chez BOOM

July 23rd, 2003, 08:19 AM

mac, if the mirror is the solid surface of part or all of one of the walls or top or bottom, you simply throw the table through it, then exit.

Phoenix, didn't get the horse.

six answers that fit.

one medal for Kamog,
four medals for Jack,
and,
*gives a medal to Phoenix*

[ July 23, 2003, 07:22: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Atrocities

July 23rd, 2003, 10:04 AM

A bit off the beaten path now, but congrats on figure out the riddle I posted.

You would not believe how many people could not figure that out given its obvious 3rd grade solution.

The riddle works to confuse people in much the same way a good illusionist makes you look at the right hand while the left hand conducts the switch.

By placing the thought of ADDING the $2.00 to the total and not subtracting it, the person is led down the path of suggestive thought. They assume that what they have been told is correct and do not question it. Therefore the ingima becames a riddle. Most people that are capable of free independant thought and have even the most basic problem solving skills can solve the riddle in little under five minutes.

I was working as a process tech IV at the time and bidding on a supervisor job when a friend passed the riddle out at the lunch table where 12 people were sitting, including the manager who was responsible for filling the open supervisor position. They all tried to figure the riddle out but could not. I came over to ask how the interviewing process was going, digging for info, and was presented the riddle by one of them. It was so basic to solve that IIRC I did it in less than a minute. I nearly laughed when I was told that they all had been working on it for over half an hour. And these people were all college graduates who thought they were the smartes among the entire work force.

I got the supervisor job. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[ July 23, 2003, 09:05: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

dogscoff

July 23rd, 2003, 10:22 AM

A woman is sitting in a chinese restaurant, waiting for her meal. Suddenly, a duck comes up to her with a single red rose in it's bill. It drops the rose before her and then says "you are the most beautiful woman on earth, your hair is like sunlight and your eyes are like diamonds."

The woman immediately calls the waiter over, saying "I ordered aromatic duck..."

Taera

July 23rd, 2003, 10:25 AM

LOL a good joke there DS

[ July 23, 2003, 19:10: Message edited by: Taera ]

mac5732

July 24th, 2003, 04:07 AM

you look in the mirror, see what you saw,
you take the saw, cut the table in half,
2 halfs make a hole,
so you crawl out http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

elementary my dear watson http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas Mac

Ed Kolis

July 24th, 2003, 04:57 AM

Two guys were sitting at a bar discussing comedians.

Joe: You're a fan of that Abbott guy, right?
Jim: Yeah, Abbott and Costello, they were partners.
Joe: Yeah, right, now Abbott was the straight man?
Jim: Yeah, why?
Joe: If those two guys were partners, how come one of them was straight???

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Narf'scompatshop

July 24th, 2003, 10:48 AM

just for that, mac...well, actually, i was going to post this anyway. it's from my dad.

why did the fish cross the road?

oh, yeah, i probably should have added this earlier, there's also two tales. so it's:

six eyes, eight legs, two wings and two tails.

Narf'scompatshop

July 25th, 2003, 12:25 AM

you forgot to mention they went to sleep in a tent.

Nocturnal

July 25th, 2003, 01:11 AM

Tougher riddle similar to the bracelet riddle.

ACME Technologies has just shipped your school a new weights and measures system. Comprised of a super-accurate beam balance and a 40 lb. rock, this system will allow you to accurately weigh items from one to forty pounds, and every integer value in between. Some dis-assembly required, of course.

The forty pound rock will have to be cut up with a high-powered diamond-tipped saw (not included), because as it is, it will only let you accurately weigh other forty pound rocks.

What is the fewest number of pieces the rock will need to be cut into to measure any item weighing an integer amount from one to forty pounds, inclusive (assuming you can manage to get the rock into the precise fractions you want)?

Nocturnal

July 25th, 2003, 01:28 AM

And a popular joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of stars. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot," he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

David E. Gervais

July 25th, 2003, 04:32 AM

Two simple questions, but what are the answers?..

1) If I walk into a room, where am I?

2) If I walk out of a room, Where am I?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mac5732

July 25th, 2003, 04:42 AM

David G.

you are where you are, your wherever your physical being is, therefore, your in a room and then your outside... oh well, my 2 cents.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

just some ideas Mac

Narf'scompatshop

July 25th, 2003, 04:45 AM

well, from your point of view,

1: here

2: here

Kamog

July 25th, 2003, 08:03 AM

To weigh...

1 lb: put item on one side of beam and 1-lb weight on other side of balance
2 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 3-lb weight on other side
3 lb: put item on one side and 3-lb weight on other side
4 lb: put item on one side and 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
5 lb: put item + 1-lb + 3-lb weights on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
6 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
7 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side and 9-lb + 1-lb weight on other side
8 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
9 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
10 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
11 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
12 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
13 lb: put item one one side and 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
14 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
15 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
16 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
17 lb: put item + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
18 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
19 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
20 lb: put item + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
21 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
22 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
23 lb: put item + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weights on other side
24 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
25 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
26 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
27 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
28 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weight on other side
29 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
30 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
31 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
32 lb: put item + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
33 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
34 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
35 lb: put item + 1-lb weithg on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
36 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
37 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
38 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
39 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
40 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side.

Therefore, you need to cut the 40-lb rock into 4 pieces: 27-lb, 9-lb, 3-lb, 1-lb.

Wardad

July 26th, 2003, 02:10 AM

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
The lab technician says to him, "I'm sorry, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, it's either bad or terrible!
"What do you mean?" said Mr. Smith.

"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's terrible!" Mr. Smith said. "Can we do the test over again?"

"Normally, yes. But you have OHIP Care and they will not pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" said Mr. Smith.

"OHIP recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town.
If she finds her way home don't sleep with her!"

Wardad

July 26th, 2003, 02:24 AM

Some good little movies. It takes a moment to load but worth it.

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/delay.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/planner.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/damage.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/recall.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/wmd.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/photoop.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/taxcut.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/shocko.html

Erax

July 26th, 2003, 05:03 PM

Narf, you can use your regular account from another computer.

Narf'scompatshop

July 27th, 2003, 06:21 AM

i don't know my password.

Fyron

July 27th, 2003, 08:18 AM

Isn't there an "email me my password" option? If not, just have Richard or Tim Brooks email it to the email account your Shrapnel account was created with. They should have no security concerns about that. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Kamog

July 27th, 2003, 07:35 PM

The surgeon is the son's mother.

Ruatha

July 27th, 2003, 07:52 PM

Yep, surprising how many that doesn't think of that.

Ruatha

July 28th, 2003, 01:23 AM

An old riddle, might have been told already here;

A son is out riding in a car with his father, there is a tragic accident and the father dies.
The son is severely injuried and is taken to a hospital, on the way into the operating room the surgeon sees the patients face and exclaims; "Oh no, it's my son!".

Who is the surgeon?

Narf'scompatshop

July 30th, 2003, 10:08 AM

you forgot to mention that the father was a surgeon.

anybody want a hint, or just the solution to my riddle?

Jack Simth

July 30th, 2003, 10:11 AM

Originally posted by Narf'scompatshop:
you forgot to mention that the father was a surgeon.I'm familiar with variations on it; the omission is deliberate, because nothing requires that the father be a surgeon. The point of the riddle is to point out that most people just assume that surgeons are male.

Taera

July 30th, 2003, 10:19 AM

your riddle? the legs-eyes-wings-tails one?

Taera

July 30th, 2003, 10:30 AM

i tell you what, i dont exactly know what it is but it realy reminds those huge bugs i keep killing here... (im serious, theyre damn wierd)

atari_eric

July 30th, 2003, 06:57 PM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
The fish are all background characters and don't count http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Racist http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Loser

July 30th, 2003, 07:18 PM

Here is a riddle I was given earlier today. I have no idea what to do with it.

Rin.

[Edit: nevermind, I was just given the answer and it was stupid and not worth noting]

[ July 30, 2003, 18:26: Message edited by: Loser ]

narf poit chez BOOM

July 31st, 2003, 05:00 AM

yeah, the eyes-etc.

Jack Simth

July 31st, 2003, 07:12 AM

Simple riddle:

Three men walk into a restaraunt and jointly order a platter of potatoes. Before the platter arrives, however, all three fall asleep. After the potatoes arrive, the first wakes up and eats what he believes is his fair share - one third of the potatoes. Then, he falls asleep again. The second wakes up and, not knowing the first has eaten, eats what he believes is his fair share - one third of the remaining potatoes. The second then falls back asleep. The third wakes up and, not knowing the other two have already eaten, eats what he believes is his fair share - one third of the remaining potatoes. The third man then falls back asleep. After that, there are eight remaining potatoes. How many potatoes had been on the platter at the time they were served?

Kamog

July 31st, 2003, 07:25 AM

If the initial # of potatos was X

After first man ate one third of the potatos, the remaining quantity is (2/3)X
After the second man ate one third of the remaining potatos, there are now (2/3)(2/3)X
After the third man ate one third of the remaining potatos, there are (2/3)(2/3)(2/3)X

(2/3)(2/3)(2/3)X = 8
X = 8(3/2)(3/2)(3/2)
X = 27 is the answer

27 potatos in beginning
First man ate 9 potatoes, then 18 remaining
Second man ate 6 potatos, then 12 remaining
Third man ate 4 potatos, then 8 remaining

Phoenix-D

July 31st, 2003, 07:26 AM

1.5* 8 = 12
1.5*12 = 18
1.5*18 = 27

27 potatos.

going the other way:
27*2/3 =18
18*2/3 =12
12*2/3 =8

Jack Simth

July 31st, 2003, 07:37 AM

Pheonix-D and Kamog: Correct. As I said, simple riddle.

Slick

July 31st, 2003, 07:47 AM

This is not a riddle, but I remember the problem like it was yesterday. It was one of the first word problems I ever had to do while taking algebra. Hmmm... 24 years ago... It's a wonder I went on to engineering school. Anyway, this thing kicked my butt:

A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?

Word problems. Oh, the memories...

Slick.

Kamog

July 31st, 2003, 07:49 AM

Edit: by coincidence, I posted a more or less the same question!

[ July 31, 2003, 06:51: Message edited by: Kamog ]

Phoenix-D

July 31st, 2003, 08:01 AM

"A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?"

First sentence is a complicated way of saying that the ship is twice as old as the boiler. Therefore, 2x+y =49.

EDIT: actually the first sentence is just complicated period. Sheesh. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

More correct therefore:
y =2x
x+y = 49

substitute. 3x =49
x = 16.333
y = 32.666

Boiler is 16 years, 4 months. Ship is 32 years, 8 months.

[ July 31, 2003, 07:07: Message edited by: Phoenix-D ]

Jack Simth

July 31st, 2003, 08:07 AM

Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?
Assuming the boiler at the time referred to was the same age as the ship was at that time....

Ship + Boiler = 49
Ship = 2 * Boiler

=> 2 * Boiler + Boiler = 49
=> 3 * Boiler = 49
=> Boiler = 49/3 = 16 1/3
=> Ship = 2 * 49/3 = 32 2/3

Boiler is 16 and 1/3 years old,
Ship is 32 and 2/3 years old.

Kamog

July 31st, 2003, 08:20 AM

I think the intended meaning of the question is:

The age of the ship today is twice what the age of the boiler was, back when the ship used to be the age that the boiler is today. The sum of the age of the ship today and the age of the boiler today is 49 years.

..it's hard to word it so it's not confusing.

Slick

July 31st, 2003, 08:23 AM

Originally posted by Jack Simth:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?
Assuming the boiler at the time referred to was the same age as the ship was at that time....

Ship + Boiler = 49
Ship = 2 * Boiler

=> 2 * Boiler + Boiler = 49
=> 3 * Boiler = 49
=> Boiler = 49/3 = 16 1/3
=> Ship = 2 * 49/3 = 32 2/3

Boiler is 16 and 1/3 years old,
Ship is 32 and 2/3 years old.<hr /></blockquote>A good shot, but not correct. Deciphering the wording is the hardest part. Once you have a correct algebra equation, you are home free.

Slick.

[ July 31, 2003, 07:23: Message edited by: Slick ]

Slick

July 31st, 2003, 08:24 AM

Originally posted by Phoenix-D:
"A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?"

First sentence is a complicated way of saying that the ship is twice as old as the boiler. Therefore, 2x+y =49.

EDIT: actually the first sentence is just complicated period. Sheesh. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

More correct therefore:
y =2x
x+y = 49

substitute. 3x =49
x = 16.333
y = 32.666

Boiler is 16 years, 4 months. Ship is 32 years, 8 months.nope. try again. The first sentence is saying more than you have accounted for.

edit: good night, all. I'll check back in the morning on your solutions.

Slick.

[ July 31, 2003, 07:29: Message edited by: Slick ]

Phoenix-D

July 31st, 2003, 08:31 AM

The first bit is just frigging nuts.

Kamog

July 31st, 2003, 08:44 AM

I'm not going to answer this one because I've seen something very similar before. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
---

Here's a riddle...

You need to take a fox, a chicken and some grain across a river. Your boat is just big enough to carry yourself and only one of the three items.

If you leave the fox and the chicken together, the fox will eat the chicken. If you leave the chicken and grain together, the chicken will eat the grain.

How do you safely get the fox, chicken, and grain to the other side of the river?

Jack Simth

July 31st, 2003, 08:59 AM

Originally posted by Kamog:
I'm not going to answer this one because I've seen something very similar before. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
---

Here's a riddle...

You need to take a fox, a chicken and some grain across a river. Your boat is just big enough to carry yourself and only one of the three items.

If you leave the fox and the chicken together, the fox will eat the chicken. If you leave the chicken and grain together, the chicken will eat the grain.

How do you safely get the fox, chicken, and grain to the other side of the river?1) Take chicken across
2) return empty
3) Take fox across
4) return with chicken
5) Take grain across
6) return empty
7) take chicken across

Done

Kamog

July 31st, 2003, 09:02 AM

Yes, that's the right answer! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Jack Simth

July 31st, 2003, 09:07 AM

Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?Hmm, does their refer to all three listed objects? If so...

The original boiler might have aged with the ship, even though it was removed. Thus, we have

Ship = BoilerA
2 * BoilerB = Ship
Ship + BoilerA + BoilerB = 49

=> 2 * BoilerB + 2 * BoilerB + BoilerB = 5 * BoilerB = 49
=> BoilerB = 49/5
=> BoilerA = 2 * 49/5
=> Ship = 2 * 49/5

Ship: 17 and 3/5 years old
Current Boiler: 9 and 4/5 years old

What if it didn't?

Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?Ship = 2 * BoilerA
BoilerB = BoilerA
Ship + BoilerA + BoilerB = 49

=> 5 * BoilerB = 49
=> BoilerB = 9.8 years,
=> BoilerA = 9.8 years,
=> Ship = 19.6 years.

Hmm, still don't like them.

Slick

July 31st, 2003, 05:03 PM

Sorry, Jack, keep at it. If it is any consolation, the first time I saw this, I couldn't do it. I have seen this problem again a couple of times when I was in college.

Hint: If I am 30 years old now and you are 25 years old now, how many years ago was I the same age as you are now? how old were you then?

(I always have to start this way.) Now if you can quantify that and apply it to this question, you can do it.

Slick.

[ July 31, 2003, 16:20: Message edited by: Slick ]

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 05:41 PM

Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?
I love word problems

age of ship now = x
age of boiler now = (49 - x)

The ship was as old as the boiler is (x - (49 - x)) years ago

At that time, the boiler was (49 - x) - (x - (49 - x)) years old

Therefore

x = 2((49 - x) - (x - (49 - x))

remove parentheses (watch your signs though) and combine terms

x = 2(49 - x - (x - 49 + x)
x = 2(49 - x - x + 49 - x)
x = 2(98 - 3x)
x = 196 - 6x
7x = 196
x = 28

Ship is 28 years old
Boiler is 21 years old

check
Boiler was 14 when the ship was 21 and 28 is 2 times 14.

[ July 31, 2003, 17:07: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Slick

July 31st, 2003, 06:18 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Slick:
A ship is twice as old as its boiler was when the ship was as old as the boiler is. The sum of their ages is 49 years. How old is the ship and how old is the boiler?
I love word problems

age of ship now = x
age of boiler now = (49 - x)

The ship was as old as the boiler is (x - (49 - x)) years ago

At that time, the boiler was (49 - x) - (x - (49 - x)) years old

Therefore

x = 2((49 - x) - (x - (49 - x))

remove parentheses (watch your signs though) and combine terms

x = 2(49 - x - (x - 49 + x)
x = 2(49 - x - x + 49 - x)
x = 2(98 - 3x)
x = 196 - 6x
7x = 196
x = 28

Ship is 28 years old
Boiler is 21 years old

check
Boiler was 14 when the ship was 21 and 28 is 2 times 14.<hr /></blockquote>Bravo! Absolutely right.

Slick.

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 08:25 PM

More riddles...

These are joke riddles. The answers aren't real answers but plays on words.

1. How does a mother sheep carry her babies?

2. What do you get if you cross an insect and a rabbit?

3. What invention lets you see through walls?

4. What fly has laryngitis?

5. How many animals did Moses take into the ark?

6. How much dirt is in a hole measuring 2 feet x 5 feet?

7. What do you call an alligator's helper?

8. I have two U.S. coins totaling 6 cents, but one of them is not a penny. What are the two coins?

9. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Stone Mill

July 31st, 2003, 08:30 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
[QB]More riddles...

These are joke riddles. The answers aren't real answers but plays on words.

4. What fly has laryngitis?

5. How many animals did Moses take into the ark?

6. How much dirt is in a hole measuring 2 feet x 5 feet?

8. I have two U.S. coins totaling 6 cents, but one of them is not a penny. What are the two coins?

QB]4. hoarse fly
5. none
6. none
8. the nickel is not a penny

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

DarkHorse

July 31st, 2003, 08:32 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
More riddles...

These are joke riddles. The answers aren't real answers but plays on words.

1. How does a mother sheep carry her babies?

2. What do you get if you cross an insect and a rabbit?

3. What invention lets you see through walls?

4. What fly has laryngitis?

5. How many animals did Moses take into the ark?

6. How much dirt is in a hole measuring 2 feet x 5 feet?

7. What do you call an alligator's helper?

8. I have two U.S. coins totaling 6 cents, but one of them is not a penny. What are the two coins?

9. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?I'll take a stab at a few.

1. On her baaaaack? [edit: wait a second, ewes are the females.. doh!]

2. no answer

3. windows

4. no answer

5. Noah did the ark thing, not Moses

6. holes are empty

7. lunch?

8. a nickel and a penny (the nickel is not a penny)

9. to reach its head?

[ July 31, 2003, 19:35: Message edited by: DarkHorse ]

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 08:36 PM

Stonemill, you got the four you ansered all right.

Dark Horse, you got 3, 5, 6, 8 , and 9 correct.

Still need answers for:

1. How does a mother sheep carry her babies?

2. What do you get if you cross an insect and a rabbit?

7. What do you call an alligator's helper?

[ July 31, 2003, 19:38: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

DarkHorse

July 31st, 2003, 08:37 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Stonemill, you got the four you ansered all right.

Dark Horse, you got 3, 5, 6, 8 , and 9 correct.Was my edited answer to 1 correct?

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 08:39 PM

Originally posted by DarkHorse:
Was my edited answer to 1 correct?No, that wasn't right either. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Stone Mill

July 31st, 2003, 08:47 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Stonemill, you got the four you ansered all right.

Dark Horse, you got 3, 5, 6, 8 , and 9 correct.

Still need answers for:

1. How does a mother sheep carry her babies?

2. What do you get if you cross an insect and a rabbit?

7. What do you call an alligator's helper?2. Bugs Bunny (I should have known this one...)
7. Gatorade!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

#1 still throws me.

BTW nice ones, Geo.

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 08:51 PM

Originally posted by Stone Mill:
2. Bugs Bunny (I should have known this one...)
7. Gatorade!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

#1 still throws me.

BTW nice ones, Geo.Yep and yep.

Yeah, #1 is a toughie.

Taera

July 31st, 2003, 10:52 PM

in her belly??
(should i go and remember the bio name? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

TerranC

July 31st, 2003, 10:56 PM

Originally posted by Taera:
in her belly??
(should i go and remember the bio name? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )That's a kangaroo.

Answer to number 1: in her fur?

geoschmo

July 31st, 2003, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by Taera:
in her belly??
(should i go and remember the bio name? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )Actually, that's kind of what I thought the first time I saw it. I said Ewe-terus. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The answer they were looking for though was:

Ewe-Haul http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Probably won't make sense to non-Americans. It's a company that rents moving trucks.

TerranC

July 31st, 2003, 11:41 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Ewe-Haul http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Probably won't make sense to non-Americans. It's a company that rents moving trucks.And a bad one it is.

(I'm talking about both the company U-Haul and the joke.)

Edit: Anyhow, here's my riddle:

How many letters are in the Alphabet?

[ July 31, 2003, 22:48: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Suicide Junkie

July 31st, 2003, 11:54 PM

11 or 12 if you count the space. (Being a programmer http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )

TerranC

July 31st, 2003, 11:58 PM

Bah. I think that one was too easy. Here's a harder one IMHO.

A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody else, other than the woman, was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan's doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

Edit: Slight typo. Sorry folks.

[ July 31, 2003, 23:34: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Taera

August 1st, 2003, 12:10 AM

alphabet has 8 letters
Or two letters - Alpha and Beta

TC: the wife had the keys? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 12:18 AM

It was a convertible.

Draw 9 dots in a 3x3 grid.
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">. . .
. . .
. . .</pre><hr /></blockquote>Now, connect all the dots with only 4 straight lines, each beginning where the previous one ended. (Ie, don't take your pen off of the paper)

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:20 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
It was a convertible.Ha! Got ya! It says in the riddle that the car is a sedan. Not a convertable.

and Taera, that's not the answer.

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 12:23 AM

Originally posted by TerranC:
Bah. I think that one was too easy. Here's a harder one IMHO.

A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan's doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?The woman was the stranger - she was already in the car, hiding (the trunk, perhaps?) (Alternately, the woman was the stranger and had the keys). There isn't anything in the riddle itself that says the woman was the man's wife; the wife could already have been dead at the outset.

Another possibility, requiring a few typos on your part: car should be plural; they were driving seperately. The woman's car broke down, and the man went for help for her. He locked up his own car, and found the stranger in her car, not his. Again, the wife was already dead, as there is nothing to say that the woman was the man's wife.

Another possibility: the woman was the man's wife, but opened the door for the stranger (she had the keys), who killed her.

Another possibility: There are methods for getting into a locked car without damaging it physically. The stranger could have gotten in with one of those methods. The man's wife was either the woman (who the stranger killed) or was already dead.

This one isn't hard, it's open-ended; there are many possibilities, but of course only one is what happened. There is no real way to choose which one is correct without already knowing the answer. If you care to contradict me on this, find a problems with all the answers I gave that are wrong.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 12:27 AM

Okeydokey.

The stranger in the car was an Ex-CAA/AAA police officer investigating the murder of the guy's wife (who was outside the car at the time, as stated).

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:31 AM

The woman was the stranger - she was already in the car, hiding (the trunk, perhaps?) (Alternately, the woman was the stranger and had the keys). There isn't anything in the riddle itself that says the woman was the man's wife; the wife could already have been dead at the outset.

The woman is not a stranger, as referring somebody as a stranger means that he or she wasn't previously known to the protagonist.

Plus, the woman could have been the man's girlfriend, or Roommate, or Close Friend, and etc.

Another possibility, requiring a few typos on your part: car should be plural; they were driving seperately. The woman's car broke down, and the man went for help for her. He locked up his own car, and found the stranger in her car, not his. Again, the wife was already dead, as there is nothing to say that the woman was the man's wife.

[Edited] Edit: There was a typo on the riddle, but not like the ones you suggested.

Another possibility: the woman was the man's wife, but opened the door for the stranger (she had the keys), who killed her.

Although possible, that's not the answer.

Another possibility: There are methods for getting into a locked car without damaging it physically. The stranger could have gotten in with one of those methods. The man's wife was either the woman (who the stranger killed) or was already dead.

Thinking too much into it, aren't you? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Could be possible, but not the answer.

This one isn't hard, it's open-ended; there are many possibilities, but of course only one is what happened. There is no real way to choose which one is correct without already knowing the answer. If you care to contradict me on this, find a problems with all the answers I gave that are wrong.

Indeed. As you said, there's only one answer.

[ July 31, 2003, 23:36: Message edited by: TerranC ]

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:32 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
Okeydokey.

The stranger in the car was an Ex-CAA/AAA police officer investigating the murder of the guy's wife (who was outside the car at the time, as stated).Nope. Think simpler Dr. Nick.

[ July 31, 2003, 23:33: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 12:34 AM

This one isn't hard, it's open-ended; there are many possibilities, but of course only one is what happened. There is no real way to choose which one is correct without already knowing the answer. If you care to contradict me on this, find a problems with all the answers I gave that are wrong. Indeed. As you said, there's only one answer.Negatory, there. You've got the opposite of what he said.

"If you care to contradict me on this, find a problem with all the answers I gave that are wrong."
Please do.

PS:
Hardly needs to be much simpler than that.
Police investigate murders all the time, and cruise the highways and roads, and also know how to get into cars without damaging them.
Makes perfect sense to me.

[ July 31, 2003, 23:36: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:35 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
"If you care to contradict me on this, find a problem with all the answers I gave that are wrong."
Please do.I thought I already did on the ones I could.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 12:37 AM

"Could be simpler" isn't a problem with the answer, its a problem with the question.

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 12:39 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
Negatory, there. You've got the opposite of what he said.The "this" I meant was "...only one is what happened. There is no real way to choose which one is correct without already knowing the answer." - which TC agreed with; he wasn't contradicting me, near as I can tell.

[ July 31, 2003, 23:39: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 12:50 AM

Originally posted by TerranC:
A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody else, other than the woman, was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan's doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

Edit: Slight typo. Sorry folks.In that case, a few more possibilities:

1) The woman opened the door for the stranger (easy from the inside) - wife was either already dead or was the woman and was killed by the stranger.

2) Stranger to who? Most readings will assume that the riddle means stranger to the man, but that isn't necessarily the case. I haven't met this woman, so she is a stranger to me. The woman could thus be the stranger, and have already been in the car. With such a case, the wife would have already been dead, or the wife was the woman and died from heat stroke/heart attack/whatever (if a dead person can qualify as a stranger).

3) If stranger doesn't imply human, it could refer to an insect/spider/rodent/whatever that got in; cars aren't usually air-tight. If the woman was the wife, she could have died from something while in the car (perhaps a bite). If the woman was not the wife, the wife was already dead.

4) The stranger could have gotten in if the woman rolled down a window. Then, either the woman was the wife and the stranger killed her or the wife was already dead.

atari_eric

August 1st, 2003, 12:56 AM

Originally posted by TerranC:
Bah. I think that one was too easy. Here's a harder one IMHO.

A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody else, other than the woman, was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan's doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

Edit: Slight typo. Sorry folks.Woman died giving birth to the "stranger".

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:58 AM

In that case, a few more possibilities:

1) The woman opened the door for the stranger (easy from the inside) - wife was either already dead or was the woman and was killed by the stranger.

Taera already implied this, and I already posted that that implication was wrong.

2) Stranger to who? Most readings will assume that the riddle means stranger to the man, but that isn't necessarily the case. I haven't met this woman, so she is a stranger to me. The woman could thus be the stranger, and have already been in the car. With such a case, the wife would have already been dead, or the wife was the woman and died from heat stroke/heart attack/whatever (if a dead person can qualify as a stranger).

Close! You've got the concept of the answer, but not quite there.

3) If stranger doesn't imply human, it could refer to an insect/spider/rodent/whatever that got in; cars aren't usually air-tight. If the woman was the wife, she could have died from something while in the car (perhaps a bite). If the woman was not the wife, the wife was already dead.

It's assumed that there are no such things in or near the car.

4) The stranger could have gotten in if the woman rolled down a window. Then, either the woman was the wife and the stranger killed her or the wife was already dead.

Nope.

TerranC

August 1st, 2003, 12:59 AM

Originally posted by atari_eric:
Woman died giving birth to the "stranger".And there it is!

Here's another one:

During WWII, there was a bridge connecting Germany and Switzerland, and on the German side, there was a sentry tower with a guard in it. He would come out every three minutes to check on the bridge, and he had orders to turn back anyone who tried to get into Germany, and shoot anyone trying to escape without a pass. There was a woman who desperately needed to get into Switzerland, and she knew she didn't have time to get a pass. It would take her at least six minutes to cross the bridge, but she managed to do it. How?

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:03 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
It was a convertible.

Draw 9 dots in a 3x3 grid.
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">. . .
. . .
. . .</pre><hr /></blockquote>Now, connect all the dots with only 4 straight lines, each beginning where the previous one ended. (Ie, don't take your pen off of the paper)The trick is long lines and going beyond the grid:

<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">O
|\ /
. . .
| X
. . .
|/ \
.-.-.-O</pre><hr /></blockquote>1) Lower left to right of lower right
2) Go to above Upper Left
3) Go to Lower Left
4) Go to Upper Right

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:04 AM

Originally posted by TerranC:
Here's another one:

During WWII, there was a bridge connecting Germany and Switzerland, and on the German side, there was a sentry tower with a guard in it. He would come out every three minutes to check on the bridge, and he had orders to turn back anyone who tried to get into Germany, and shoot anyone trying to escape without a pass. There was a woman who desperately needed to get into Switzerland, and she knew she didn't have time to get a pass. It would take her at least six minutes to cross the bridge, but she managed to do it. How?Only half the bridge was German territory.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:10 AM

The mess made by the birth would probably wreck the upholstery, but that's probably the answer being looked for.

Question:
Every day, little Joey's math teacher gave a math test. Joey managed to get a perfect score in the class.
If the only question on each test was "Square root of 4 = ___ ___", what THREE things must he have written on each test paper?

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:12 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
Question:
Every day, little Joey's math teacher gave a math test. Joey managed to get a perfect score in the class.
If the only question on each test was "Square root of 4 = ___ ___", what THREE things must he have written on each test paper?I see some possibilities:
1) "1" "+" "1"
2) "2" "-2" "Joey"

[ August 01, 2003, 00:15: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:12 AM

Originally posted by TerranC:
During WWII, there was a bridge connecting Germany and Switzerland,...The woman waited for the guard to go into the tower and started across. Three minutes later, just before he came back out she was about halfway accross and she turned and started walking back into Germany. Guard comes out and sees a woman trying to get in without permission and per his orders commands her to turn back. She does and walks to freedom in Switzerland.

Geoschmo

[ August 01, 2003, 00:14: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:18 AM

I see some possibilities:
1) "1" "+" "1"
2) "2" "-2" "Joey"Given the two separate blanks to fill in for the question, and the fact that square roots have two values, answering "1+1" on the test would be only half credit at best.

#2 is absolutely correct.

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:19 AM

Did you miss my answer to the dot problem? You haven't commented.

[ August 01, 2003, 00:20: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:20 AM

This is an old one, I am sure some of you have heard it...

You are standing in front of a room inside of which stands a lamp with a
lightbulb within it. You can not see when the light is on or off until you
enter the room. Once you enter the room you may not come back out again
until you solve this riddle...

Outside the room there are three switches.

You may turn any of the three swithes anyway you want to (but they only
have two positions: On/Off).

You cannot tell when the light goes on, but one of the switches does indeed
turn the light on and off (the light goes on when that particular switch is
in the on position and not so suprisingly off when it's in the off
position), while the other two switches do nothing.

Once you stop turning the switches on and off you must enter the room and
know exactly which switch turns the light on...

How can you do that?

Note: Here are a few answers to possible lines of thought and consequently
questions that people may have...

You have no tools with which to remove the panel nor to examine the wires
within the panel.

You are by yourself.

You cannot use mirrors.

There is no window within the room.

There are no switches or wires that are accesible from within the room.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:20 AM

Nope, I think that one was most excellently done, and was quite self-evidently correct.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:22 AM

Geo: that one's been posted before. I'll let it ride for those who haven't seen it.

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:25 AM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
This is an old one, I am sure some of you have heard it...

You are standing in front of a room inside of which stands a lamp with a
lightbulb within it. You can not see when the light is on or off until you
enter the room. Once you enter the room you may not come back out again
until you solve this riddle...

Outside the room there are three switches.

You may turn any of the three swithes anyway you want to (but they only
have two positions: On/Off).

You cannot tell when the light goes on, but one of the switches does indeed
turn the light on and off (the light goes on when that particular switch is
in the on position and not so suprisingly off when it's in the off
position), while the other two switches do nothing.

Once you stop turning the switches on and off you must enter the room and
know exactly which switch turns the light on...

How can you do that?

Note: Here are a few answers to possible lines of thought and consequently
questions that people may have...

You have no tools with which to remove the panel nor to examine the wires
within the panel.

You are by yourself.

You cannot use mirrors.

There is no window within the room.

There are no switches or wires that are accesible from within the room.Turn them all on, enter the room, and use the switch on the lamp.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:28 AM

Sorry Jack:

"There are no switches or wires that are accesible from within the room"

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:31 AM

And now for a joke, it's a little long, but one of my Favorites. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

A young couple decides to become members at the local church. The minister tells them they are welcome to join, but that this church has a particular bit of doctrine. All new members as a show of their faith and dedication to God must abstain from any sexual relations for a period one month.

Being newlyweds and very much in love this is something of a difficulty for the couple, but they really want to be members of this church so they agree to the condition.

After a month they return for a meeting with the minister and he asks them how it went.

"Well Minister, it went ok for a few weeks. But then one day I turned around and my lovely bride was bent over getting some food out of the freezer. The very sight of her figure got my blood to racing and I had to have her. We tried to resist, but ended up making love right there on the floor in front of the freezer."

"Well my son, obviously you are a very passionate young man. But I am sorry, you are not suitable to join our church."

"That's ok Minister, I'm not suprised. They won't let us back in that grocery store either."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:32 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
Geo: that one's been posted before. I'll let it ride for those who haven't seen it.In this thread? I looked for it but didn't see it.

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:41 AM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
You are standing in front of a room inside of which stands a lamp with a
lightbulb within it. You can not see when the light is on or off until you
enter the room. Once you enter the room you may not come back out again
until you solve this riddle...

Outside the room there are three switches.

You may turn any of the three swithes anyway you want to (but they only
have two positions: On/Off).

You cannot tell when the light goes on, but one of the switches does indeed
turn the light on and off (the light goes on when that particular switch is
in the on position and not so suprisingly off when it's in the off
position), while the other two switches do nothing.

Once you stop turning the switches on and off you must enter the room and
know exactly which switch turns the light on...

How can you do that?

Note: Here are a few answers to possible lines of thought and consequently
questions that people may have...

You have no tools with which to remove the panel nor to examine the wires
within the panel.

You are by yourself.

You cannot use mirrors.

There is no window within the room.

There are no switches or wires that are accesible from within the room.Missed that Last part; most lamps have switches on them. Well, if it is an incindiary bulb, you could turn switch 1 on for an hour, turn switch 1 off, then turn switch 2 on, enter room and check bulb. If bulb is on, it's two. If it is off and hot, it's one. If it is off and cold, it's three (hot/cold determined by touch).

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 01:44 AM

It wasn't this thread i'm sure, but somewhere on shrapnel...

Here's one with an SE4 theme:
A single, low-tech Terran ship is ambushed by a Phong Destroyer. The scoutship loses its engines and supply bays to the piercing Shard Cannons, but miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?

[ August 01, 2003, 00:45: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:50 AM

Originally posted by Jack Simth:
Well, if it is an incindiary bulb, you could turn switch 1 on for an hour, turn switch 1 off, then turn switch 2 on, enter room and check bulb. If bulb is on, it's two. If it is off and hot, it's one. If it is off and cold, it's three (hot/cold determined by touch).That's it. You got it.

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 01:52 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
Here's one with an SE4 theme:
A single, low-tech Terran ship is ambushed by a Phong Destroyer. The scoutship loses its engines and supply bays to the piercing Shard Cannons, but miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?The Terran ship launched a volley of capital ship missles right before the phong ship took out it's engines?

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 01:55 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
It wasn't this thread i'm sure, but somewhere on shrapnel...

Here's one with an SE4 theme:
A single, low-tech Terran ship is ambushed by a Phong Destroyer. The scoutship loses its engines and supply bays to the piercing Shard Cannons, but miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?If the destroyer was already severly damaged when the Terran ship lost its supplies, and the Terran ship was carrying fighters/drones/sats that it launched before it lost its supplies, those could concieveably have taken down the destroyer.

Edit: right, missles too - any delayed method of damaging a target could work.

[ August 01, 2003, 00:57: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 02:00 AM

Very good answers, Geo & Jack.

To make it more difficult:
A single, low-tech Terran ship is ambushed by a Phong Destroyer. The scoutship has 6 speed and two meson bLasters, but by murphy's law, loses its engines and supply bays to the piercing Shard Cannons. The terran ship miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?

[ August 01, 2003, 01:55: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 02:48 AM

The Phong ship was also heavily damaged by the Terrans, but retained the minimum number of components to still have a combat movement of 1 and fire (one engine and one cannon?). The Terran ship having lost his engines was imobile, and having lost his supply could not fire, but otherwise was undamaged. And perhaps he had some armor components as well, since you seemed to particularly mention the Phong was using shard cannons. The Phong ship moves in for the kill but decides to ram instead of firing to finish off the Terrans and because his remaining comps have less structure then the Terran escort he is destroyed and the Terran is left alive, though likely barely so.

[ August 01, 2003, 01:55: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 02:54 AM

Another point for Geo!

How about a different one then:
A single Jreanar transport ship is in combat with a single Norak Battlecruiser (well designed, including a talisman). The transport ship has only colonists and weapon platforms in cargo, while the Battlecruiser has plenty of shields and point defense. Also, neither ship was damaged before combat started.
The Jreanar ship miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?

[ August 01, 2003, 01:57: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 03:00 AM

These are fun! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

The Jraenar transport is a very large transport. You didn't say what size it was.

The Norak has tailsman and plenty of shields and Point defense, but no weapons able to target a ship. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

A few rams later and no more Norak ship.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 03:45 AM

Having no weapons on a battlecruiser could hardly be called "Well designed", especially with a talisman included.

A reasonable number of shield generators would also make the BC survive any ramming attempt by the transport. Even a large transport just wouldn't have enough hitpoints to get through all that high-hitpoint-ratio shielding.

[ August 01, 2003, 03:04: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

Taera

August 1st, 2003, 04:37 AM

realize shields are ignored for ramming purposes (target, rammer and HP calculation)

besides that, nothing new except what already was said

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 04:40 AM

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
A single Jreanar transport ship is in combat with a single Norak Battlecruiser (well designed, including a talisman). The transport ship has only colonists and weapon platforms in cargo, while the Battlecruiser has plenty of shields and point defense. Also, neither ship was damaged before combat started.
The Jreanar ship miraculously emerges victorious in the combat (run strategically).
How is this possible?For some bizzare reason, the Battlecruiser decided to ram the transport without firing at it. Your shields don't help when you are the one doing the ramming, and the battlecruiser rammed itself to death. Well designed ship, but poorly captained.

Taera

August 1st, 2003, 07:08 AM

noo, its much simplier. the battlecruiser had no suplies.

Or the transport had better ECM http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Or the BC was a boarding ship and the transport had Security Stations http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I dunno! lol

[ August 01, 2003, 06:32: Message edited by: Taera ]

Slick

August 1st, 2003, 08:03 AM

Ok, here's neat little puzzle...

You have 2 egg timer sand-type "hour" glasses. One measures exactly 4 minutes, the other measures exactly 7 minutes. You are making a recipe requiring exactly 9 minutes. How do you time it.

Answers to all the weasel questions:
no you can't estimate times
no you can't lay one down on its side
no fancy stuff, this is not that hard.

Slick.

narf poit chez BOOM

August 1st, 2003, 08:11 AM

measure the four minute one half-way. that only works, though, if it's marked or a regular cylinder shape. if the 7 one is marked, you don't even need to do that.

or, just use a clock.

[ August 01, 2003, 07:12: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Jack Simth

August 1st, 2003, 08:18 AM

Originally posted by Slick:
Ok, here's neat little puzzle...

You have 2 egg timer sand-type "hour" glasses. One measures exactly 4 minutes, the other measures exactly 7 minutes. You are making a recipe requiring exactly 9 minutes. How do you time it.

Answers to all the weasel questions:
no you can't estimate times
no you can't lay one down on its side
no fancy stuff, this is not that hard.

Slick.Can't put one sideways to pause it? Pity. No matter....

1) Start both timers.
2) When the four-minute timer finishes (three left in 7), flip 4.
3) When 7 finishes (three minutes later; one left in 4), flip 7.
4) When 4 finishes (one minute later; six left in 7) flip 4.
5) When 4 finishes (four minutes later; two left in 7) start recepie
6) When 7 finishes (2 minutes later), flip 7
7) When 7 finishes, (7 minutes later; 9 since started recepie), stop recepie.

This may be slightly more complex than is necessary, but should get the job done.

Suicide Junkie

August 1st, 2003, 03:05 PM

The simple answer to my Last puzzle:

The Jreanar and Norak were allied, against some other race.
Both the Transport and Battlecruiser were on the winning side.

Slick

August 1st, 2003, 05:21 PM

Originally posted by Jack Simth:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Slick:
Ok, here's neat little puzzle...

You have 2 egg timer sand-type "hour" glasses. One measures exactly 4 minutes, the other measures exactly 7 minutes. You are making a recipe requiring exactly 9 minutes. How do you time it.

Answers to all the weasel questions:
no you can't estimate times
no you can't lay one down on its side
no fancy stuff, this is not that hard.

Slick.Can't put one sideways to pause it? Pity. No matter....

1) Start both timers.
2) When the four-minute timer finishes (three left in 7), flip 4.
3) When 7 finishes (three minutes later; one left in 4), flip 7.
4) When 4 finishes (one minute later; six left in 7) flip 4.
5) When 4 finishes (four minutes later; two left in 7) start recepie
6) When 7 finishes (2 minutes later), flip 7
7) When 7 finishes, (7 minutes later; 9 since started recepie), stop recepie.

This may be slightly more complex than is necessary, but should get the job done.<hr /></blockquote>Yes, this is a correct answer. Good job. There is another, shorter method that does not require setup: If you change step 4) to read: "When 4 finishes (one minute later; six left in 7) flip 7.", it works. (8 minutes have gone by at this point, and there is one minute of sand in the bottom of the 7 minute timer, so you can dump it back out to get to time the Last minute for a total of 9 minutes).

Slick.

Stone Mill

August 1st, 2003, 05:54 PM

Seven Crows are in the farmer crops.

He shoots one.

How many crows are left in the crops?

narf poit chez BOOM

August 1st, 2003, 05:56 PM

counting dead crows, 7.
not counting dead crows, 6.

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 05:57 PM

Originally posted by Stone Mill:
Seven Crows are in the farmer crops.

He shoots one.

How many crows are left in the crops?One, the one he shot. The other six fly away when the gun goes off.

Stone Mill

August 1st, 2003, 06:00 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Stone Mill:
Seven Crows are in the farmer crops.

He shoots one.

How many crows are left in the crops?One, the one he shot. The other six fly away when the gun goes off.<hr /></blockquote>BINGO. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 06:00 PM

Ok, now for a cryptogram. These things kick my butt. I can never figure them out. But I made this one so I know the answer. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hint: It's Se4 related.

<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">Q H U Q R E G U M U J R I B E Q K N Q R N S B B U N N F H N L I B U

U X L F K U N F N J Q S K N G F L N I W F A F E J E Q G F E E G U F K

E I K T U E N F H B Q X W I E . F E F N E G F N R I B E E G I E

X I M U N E G U E I A F N X I H N S B G I L Q O U K R S A

B Q X L Q H U H E . </pre><hr /></blockquote>

[ August 01, 2003, 17:10: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 06:32 PM

Note: No Cheating: No looking it up. Use your intellect.

What is the Exact distance in kilometers from:
Hover Damn to Boulder Damn

Captain Kwok

August 1st, 2003, 06:36 PM

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Note: No Cheating: No looking it up. Use your intellect.

What is the Exact distance in kilometers from:
Hover Damn to Boulder DamnIt's the same dam, so 0 km.

It was originally called the Hoover Dam then the Boulder Dam and is it now back to Hoover?

[ August 01, 2003, 17:43: Message edited by: Captain Kwok ]

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 06:49 PM

Yes it is back to the Orriginal.
You could have answered the question based on knowledge of US: History, Geography, Recreational spots, or:
The best one would have been Deduction.

Anyone care to provide how you could deduce the answer?
Kwok?

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 06:56 PM

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Anyone care to provide how you could deduce the answer?
Well, this question is a little vague. Maybe because you were asking for distances between U.S. landmarks, but asking for the measurment in kilometers? I don't know if I would call that valid deductive reasoning though. It's more of a hunch really. There is no reason you couldn't ask for U.S. measurments in the kilometer scale. Besides even that would require geographical knowledge to be aware that the landmarks were U.S. ones.

You must be talking about something else, though I can't fathom what it might be.

Geoschmo

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 07:06 PM

Geo, that is a good start but was more of a clue and at the same time something of a red hering (distraction) since most Americans could not easily do the Miles / Kilometers

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 07:06 PM

Geo, that is a good start but was more of a clue and at the same time something of a red hering (distraction) since most Americans could not easily do the Miles / Kilometers

Addtional Clue: A 12yo boy found this in Playboy and figured it out very quickly.

[ August 01, 2003, 18:08: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 07:14 PM

Originally posted by Gryphin:
Addtional Clue: A 12yo boy found this in Playboy and figured it out very quickly.Well now. Whoever allowed a 12yo boy see a Playboy runs the risk of being brought up on charges. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Why don't you tell us the answer. The suspense is killling us. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

EDIT: How about this. The fact that you specificaly say not to look it up is the key. Because how many people would possibly have a clue at the distance between these two landmarks, so the answer must be something that is easily guessable, or the question is minutae. The only thing that makes sense then that would be guessable is if the two names were for the same dam.

Geoschmo

[ August 01, 2003, 18:21: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 07:24 PM

The way I figured it out:
The question was asked so there must be a "real" answer.
The way it was asked it must be deductable since most people would not know it.
Kilometers is a clue since even if you knew the distance in Miles most people would not be able to convert it. It could be a distraction if you took off on or gave up knowing you could not do the translation.
The main clue in the question: "Exact"
Waat is the only number that can be "Exact" in any unit of measurment.
That is how I remember doing it.

And as for those who left the magazine around
One was an engineer
The other is an artist.

(PS: did not mean to be a smart *** here) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ August 01, 2003, 18:26: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 07:31 PM

Another riddle from the same page of the magazine:

Which of the following is not one of Santa Clause�s reindeer? It listed all eight of them, (I don�t know them). Rudolf.

Note: there is no attempt to deceive in the way this is presented. Typos and spelling errors are just that.

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 07:32 PM

I think the the part about the 12yo was a Red Herring s well, because what 12yo boy in his right mind given a Playboy would be reading the brain teasers. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 07:35 PM

Is the thing about the Reindeer a question or just a comment? I don't understand it.

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 07:46 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
I think the the part about the 12yo was a Red Herring s well, because what 12yo boy in his right mind given a Playboy would be reading the brain teasers. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I guess I'm making up for lost time. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

The quesiton about the reindeer was posted as a riddle. I will admit it is sorta trick quesiton but I did figure it out. What is funny is you, (Geo), almost know the answer.

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 08:00 PM

Originally posted by Gryphin:
The quesiton about the reindeer was posted as a riddle. I will admit it is sorta trick quesiton but I did figure it out. What is funny is you, (Geo), almost know the answer.I guess, but I still don't understand the question. Youu are saying which one of these options doesn't belong, but then not giving us the options. I am confused. And why do you have Rudolph listed? Is that the answer?

Geoschmo

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 08:05 PM

Ok, gotcha,
It asked, Which of the following is not one of Santa Clause's reindeer?
Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
It also included "rudolf the red nose reindeer" The clue is: This was in Playboy.

[ August 01, 2003, 19:06: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

tesco samoa

August 1st, 2003, 08:07 PM

its nixon

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 08:21 PM

Gryphin, I have no idea.

Tesco, you are funny.

Gryphin

August 1st, 2003, 08:31 PM

I don't want you to die from suspece. I guess these are better delived in person.

The answer from the magazine was:

"If you still belive in Santa Clause you are too young to be reading this magazine"

Hope it was worth it.

geoschmo

August 1st, 2003, 08:38 PM

Nixon the Reindeer.

One of the historically least highly regarded of all of Santa's reindeer. Known by his fellow sleigh pullers as a shifty manipulative S.O.B. who tended towards bouts of paranoia. Managed towards the end of his career to acchieve his lifelong goal of being lead reindeer, but was forced to resign in disgrace before his term ended after a group of his elf operatives bungled a break in of Donders office to, quote, "Find out what that little weasel has on me."

Main positive event of his tenure was leading Santa's team into mainland China for the first time, finally bringing the joy of Christmas to hundreds of millions of good little Chinese boys and girls.

[ August 01, 2003, 19:47: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

narf poit chez BOOM

August 2nd, 2003, 02:40 AM

how about "it's santa claus, not santa clause so none."

TerranC

August 2nd, 2003, 03:33 AM

There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters. What is the word?

[ August 02, 2003, 02:33: Message edited by: TerranC ]

narf poit chez BOOM

August 2nd, 2003, 06:19 AM

um...English contains a lot of words.

and for anyone who's still interested, the answer is:

*DRUMROLL* >SPOILER ALERT<

a man on a horse with a parrot on his shoulder

two wings, six eyes, eight legs and two tails.

[ August 02, 2003, 05:21: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Ragnarok

August 2nd, 2003, 06:24 AM

On a standard Qwerty keyboard, what is the longest word you can type with your left hand only?

Yes, you can type any word with your left hand only but following what are supposed to be typing rules... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Jack Simth

August 2nd, 2003, 07:34 AM

stewardesses?

[ August 02, 2003, 07:05: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

Ragnarok

August 2nd, 2003, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by Jack Simth:
stewardesses?Correct. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Kamog

August 2nd, 2003, 09:59 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Ok, now for a cryptogram. These things kick my butt. I can never figure them out. But I made this one so I know the answer. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hint: It's Se4 related.

<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">Q H U Q R E G U M U J R I B E Q K N Q R N S B B U N N F H N L I B U

U X L F K U N F N J Q S K N G F L N I W F A F E J E Q G F E E G U F K

E I K T U E N F H B Q X W I E . F E F N E G F N R I B E E G I E

X I M U N E G U E I A F N X I H N S B G I L Q O U K R S A

B Q X L Q H U H E . </pre><hr /></blockquote>1) There is a 1-letter word "I" on line 4. A 1-letter word can only be "A" or "I". Let's try "A", guessing that you wouldn't use the same letter to represent "I". Try substituting "I" = "a"
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
*** ** *** *** *a***** ** ******* ** **a**
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
******* ** **** ***** a****** ** *** *****
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
*a***** ** ****a*. ** ** **** *a** **a*
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
*a*** *** *a****a* **** a ********
BQXLQHUHE.
*********.</pre><hr /></blockquote>2) Count the frequency of letters in the message:
A:3 B:8 C:0 D:0 E:17 F:13 G:8 H:6 I:11 J:3 K:6 L:5 M:2 N:15 O:1 P:0 Q:10 R:5 S:4 T:1 U:13 V:0 W:2 X:5 Z:0

Letters occur in the English language in roughly the following order of frequency: ETAONIRSHLDCUPFMWYBGVKQXJZ, where E is the most common letter and T is the next, and so on.

Because "E" appears 17 times, it is likely to be "e" or "t". The word "EGU" appears twice in the message. A common three-letter word that begins with "t" is "the", which is probable because "U" appears 13 times and could be "e". Try substituting E=t, G=h, U=e.
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
**e ** the *e* *a*t*** ** ****e** ** **a*e
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
e****e* ** **** *h*** a****t* ** h*t the**
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
ta**et* ** ****at. *t ** th** *a*t that
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
*a*e* the ta****a* ***h a ***e****
BQXLQHUHE.
******e*t.</pre><hr /></blockquote>3) See the word "FE" which is "*t"? What's a 2-letter word that ends in "t". "it or "at". Well, we already guessed that "I" = "a", so then the word is "it" and "F" = "i".
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
**e ** the *e* *a*t*** ** ****e** i* **a*e
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
e**i*e* i* **** *hi** a*i*it* t* hit thei*
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
ta**et* i* ****at. it i* thi* *a*t that
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
*a*e* the ta*i**a* ***h a ***e****
BQXLQHUHE.
******e*t.</pre><hr /></blockquote>4) Now it's easy to guess that "EGUFK" = "thei*" is "their", so "K"="r". Also "EGFN" = "thi*" is "this", so "N" = "s".
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
**e ** the *e* *a*t*rs ** s***ess i* s*a*e
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
e**ires is ***r shi*s a*i*it* t* hit their
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
tar*ets i* ****at. it is this *a*t that
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
*a*es the ta*i**a* s**h a ***er***
BQXLQHUHE.
******e*t.</pre><hr /></blockquote>5) Now it looks like "NLIBU UXLFKUN" = "s*a*e e**ires" is "space empires", so "L"="p", "B"="c", "X"="m.
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
**e ** the *e* *act*rs ** s*ccess i* space
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
empires is ***r ships a*i*it* t* hit their
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
tar*ets i* c*m*at. it is this *act that
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
ma*es the ta*i*ma* s*ch a p**er***
BQXLQHUHE.
c*mp**e*t.</pre><hr /></blockquote>6) It's easy to guess now that the second sentence says "It is this fact that makes the talisman such a powerful component."
Therefore, "R"="f", "M"="k", "A"="l", "H"="n", "S"="u", and "Q"="o"
<blockquote>code:<hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">QHU QR EGU MUJ RIBEQKN QR NSBBUNN FH NLIBU
one of the ke* factors of success in space
UXLFKUN FN JQSK NGFLN IWFAFEJ EQ GFE EGUFK
empires is *our ships a*ilit* to hit their
EIKTUEN FH BQXWIE. FE FN EGFN RIBE EGIE
tar*ets in com*at. it is this fact that
XIMUN EGU EIAFNXIH NSBG I LQOUKRSA
makes the talisman such a powerful
BQXLQHUHE.
component.</pre><hr /></blockquote>7) Obviously, "J"="y" and "W" = "b", "T"="g".

One of the key factors of success in space
empires is your ships ability to hit their
targets in combat. It is this fact that
makes the talisman such a powerful
component.

Slick

August 3rd, 2003, 07:52 AM

Most impressive, Kamog!

Slick.

[ August 03, 2003, 06:54: Message edited by: Slick ]

Taera

August 3rd, 2003, 07:57 AM

very well done! i always wondered how the cryptograms are solved, now i have a very good idea where to start if i ever need to http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

geoschmo

August 4th, 2003, 02:01 PM

Yes, excellent job Kamog. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Ed Kolis

August 4th, 2003, 04:35 PM

Say this ten times fast:

Calculate the albedo-libido ratio of Antonio's Alsatian albino alpacas.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

geoschmo

August 4th, 2003, 04:55 PM

Here's another puzzle, not really a riddle.

A man is sitting in a row boat in the middle of a lake holding a bowling ball. He drops the ball into the lake. What effect and to what degree does this have on the water level in the lake, if any. Assume for the purposes of this discussion that the bowling ball has a density such that it's weight is equal to four times it's volume of lake water.

Geoschmo

geoschmo

August 4th, 2003, 04:56 PM

Originally posted by Ed Kolis:
Say this ten times fast:

Calculate the albedo-libido ratio of Antonio's Alsatian albino alpacas.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Jeez, I can't even say it one time slow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Loser

August 4th, 2003, 05:26 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
A man is sitting in a row boat in the middle of a lake holding a bowling ball. He drops the ball into the lake. What effect and to what degree does this have on the water level in the lake, if any. Assume for the purposes of this discussion that the bowling ball has a density such that it's weight is equal to four times it's volume of lake water.Um... I think the level of the water will drop. The bowling ball will displace its volume, but it was already displacing four times its volume while it was being held by the guy in the boat.

Wardad

August 4th, 2003, 07:12 PM

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the car. The Female police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."

Wardad

August 4th, 2003, 07:26 PM

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow
older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't
use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so.......Below is a
very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the
following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are
still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you
have made your own....OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

===========

1. What do you put in a toaster?

The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to:

Question 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next
question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It
may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more
appropriate such as "Children's World." If you said, "water" then proceed to
Question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what
are you still doing here reading these questions?? If you said "glass", then
on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you
will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany
and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The
pilot, realizing that the Last remaining engine is also failing, decides on
a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has
time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between
East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East
Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land?"

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you
are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane
crash... Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the
survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how
many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one
degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six
people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Sweden, two people get off
and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In
Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen,
six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What
was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was
YOU, dummy...the very first line says that you're driving the bus.

Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you
did.

[ August 04, 2003, 23:15: Message edited by: Wardad ]

Jack Simth

August 4th, 2003, 09:22 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
Here's another puzzle, not really a riddle.

A man is sitting in a row boat in the middle of a lake holding a bowling ball. He drops the ball into the lake. What effect and to what degree does this have on the water level in the lake, if any. Assume for the purposes of this discussion that the bowling ball has a density such that it's weight is equal to four times it's volume of lake water.

GeoschmoWhile in the boat, the bowling ball gets full displacement for its weight due to the nature of boats. Once in the lake, the bowling ball gets full displacement on its volume only. So, you have -4+1 = -3 bowling ball volume displacements (lake goes down).

So, the water level drops a number of inches such that the number of inches dropped * the surface area of the lake (after taking into account irregulariteis in the shape) is equal to three times the volume of the bowling ball. In other words, it will drop, but scarcely noticeably.

Also, the lake level may temporarily rise somewhat due to the splash and ensuing ripples.

narf poit chez BOOM

August 4th, 2003, 10:38 PM

seems to me it wouldn't change, except for ripple's.

geoschmo

August 4th, 2003, 10:40 PM

Yep, it would drop 3 volumes.

Ruatha

August 4th, 2003, 10:50 PM

Originally posted by Wardad:
In Sweden, two people get off
and four get on. That was a long bus drive back and forth, wasn't it? Didn't people get off on the ferry?

Loser

August 5th, 2003, 01:33 AM

Crypto? Isn't that just a cipher? Doesn't 'crypto' require that the substitution table change?

Impressive job there, man. And thanks for laying out exactly how you did it. That was especially cool.

[ August 04, 2003, 12:34: Message edited by: Loser ]

Wardad

August 5th, 2003, 06:59 PM

> >Know Your State's Motto
> >
> >Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >California: By 30, Our Women Have More PLastic Than Your Honda
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Florida: Home of the headless drivers
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ..... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars Hard At Work
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing crazies, and Very Little Else
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To an Attorney ....
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake By The Lake (Cleveland)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Tennessee: The Edjucashun State
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Texas: Si' Hablo Ingles
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Vermont: Yep
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Wyoming: Where Men Are Men .... and the sheep are scared!

geoschmo

August 5th, 2003, 07:23 PM

Originally posted by Wardad:
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake By The Lake (Cleveland)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry, this was lame. I am sure we could do so much better on this one.

Ohio: Convienently located close to several interesting states.

Ohio: You probably know someone who lived here once.

Ohio: We don't care what North Carolina says, WE invented the damn airplane.

Ohio: The "Silicon Valley" of the nineteenth century.

[ August 05, 2003, 18:25: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Loser

August 5th, 2003, 07:57 PM

Originally posted by Wardad:
> >Know Your State's Motto
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Likewise.

Colorado: Because No One Actually Skis in Utah

Colorado: Better Than Kansas, Really

Colorado: We Have Rocks, They're Better Than Yours

Colorado: Don't Ask About the Indians

Colorado: Like You Haven't

Erax

August 5th, 2003, 09:00 PM

Geo : I lived in Ohio when I was 1.

Loser : My dad loved Colorado. But then, he was a geologist.

Loser

August 5th, 2003, 09:10 PM

Erax: I love Colorado, that's why I'm still here. Some time I'll rant on what it means to live in an 'At Will' State and try to express some of the real reasons I should be somewhere else. But it's a great place. I was just trying out the self-depreciating humor that Geo laid out first.

Erax

August 5th, 2003, 09:19 PM

'At Will' ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif
Sorry, my English is from the 80's. New, regional or local expressions are a bit confusing to me.

Wardad

August 5th, 2003, 10:20 PM

Hey now, I grew up in New Jersey and I have no problem with this:

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loser

August 6th, 2003, 01:47 AM

This one is a little wrong. Moderator, feel free to edit or remove it if you so desire.

Colorado: AoC at Fifteen and so Many Military Bases: What Do You Think Happens?

Stone Mill

August 6th, 2003, 01:54 AM

Originally posted by Wardad:
Hey now, I grew up in New Jersey and I have no problem with this:

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I agree, Wardad... that's just freakin terrific.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Wardad

August 6th, 2003, 06:13 PM

Originally posted by geoschmo:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Wardad:
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake By The Lake (Cleveland)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry, this was lame. I am sure we could do so much better on this one...<hr /></blockquote>OK GEO,
How about
> >Ohio: 2 days of Sunshine State http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

geoschmo

August 6th, 2003, 07:54 PM

Originally posted by Wardad:
OK GEO,
How about
> >Ohio: 2 days of Sunshine State http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I don't know. That might work for Washington. Ohio doesn't have a reputation for not getting any sun. On the contrary it can be pretty hot and brutal here in the with the humidity. The midwest weather does change quite often and quickly though. Along those lines you might say something like...

Ohio: Half the time it's sunny, half the time it's rainy, and half the time it's snowing.

Or

Ohio: Springtime in Ohio. It's the best week of the year!

[ August 06, 2003, 18:55: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Wardad

August 7th, 2003, 01:03 AM

In D.C., a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog isin the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do." the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals."

"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that crap." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Wardad

August 8th, 2003, 08:36 PM

Different states
>
> You Live in California when...
>
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell
phone.
> 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how
> long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
>
> You Live in New York City when...
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
> 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
> Building.
> 3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
> Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
> 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
> makes you multi-lingual.
> 6. You've worn out a car horn.
> 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> You Live in Maine when...
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
> You Live in the South when...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
> 3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
> 4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
> 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue,
>
> Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
>
> You live in Colorado when...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
> stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> You live in the Midwest when...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It
> was different!"
>
> You live in Florida when...
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
>
>
> You live in Arizona when . . .
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door
> or the steering wheel.
> 3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot
> water in the toilet bowl.
> 4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
> 5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
> 6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities.
> 7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU
> KIDDING ME??!!
> 10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in
> the face when you open your oven door.
>
>

Loser

August 9th, 2003, 01:15 AM

Originally posted by Wardad:
> You live in Colorado when...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
> stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.Sounds about right, but you missed...

Every time the economy booms everyone talks about all the 'high-tech' jobs coming to the area, "Silicon Mountain" and all that jazz, every time it falters in the slightest they are the first to go.

gosh darn At Will Employment

A tan is valued, but an even tan denotes inactivity.

narf poit chez BOOM

August 10th, 2003, 01:54 AM

...and after the fourth or fifth time, the itsy bitsy spider decided to wait for a clear day.

Wardad

August 11th, 2003, 09:11 PM

The Last one will make you choke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guess which of the following are true or false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE (?)
(...and not suitable for name changing nonsense thread.) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

narf poit chez BOOM

August 12th, 2003, 01:34 AM

The Last one will make you choke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guess which of the following are true or false?
hey, i can guess. anyone can guess.

1.T

2.F, unlikely. it would mean he wouldn't have had an umbilibable cord, and that's nessasary.
3.T? dunno
4.well, i'm indoors alot and i don't get sick much, but someone who's outdoors alot, shock, changed environment...T?
5.T. read it somewhere.
6.T? think i read it somewhere.
7.T?
8.F?
9.F. i don't spend 10% of my life waiting in lines.
10.T?
11.T.
12.F, 'injured by' requires that the toilet do something. since toilets don't do anything, the person using them does, it's impossible. 40,000 people might have injured themselves with a toilet, though, so T for that.
13.T? it's long, though.
14...F. i blink more than that...i think.
15. F. why? there probable bigger just before you go to sleep. did you know that your actually taller when you wake up?
16.T.
17.T?
18.well, it depend on what you mean by behind. i'd say, F.
19.T?
20.F.
21.T. come to think of it, it doesn't seem to pour quite like milk.
22.T. think i read it somewhere.
23.T? think i might have heard it somewhere.
24.F? ghualish enough to survive as an urban legend, possible enough to be true.
25.T?
26.T? think i heard it somewhere.

ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE (?)
(...and not suitable for name changing nonsense thread.) [Wink]
Not possible. i ruled out number 12. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ August 12, 2003, 00:35: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Krsqk

August 12th, 2003, 02:10 AM

Originally posted by Wardad:
14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.Would that be why my eyeballs are so dry?

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
24.F? ghualish enough to survive as an urban legend,Goulash? I like goulash! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Kamog

August 12th, 2003, 07:36 AM

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!
False. I don't think bodily functions like digestion can be started and stopped instantaneously.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
False. That sounds like too many. That's over 20 million people a year!

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
False. That also sounds like too many. I don't think it's too easy to hurt yourself using a toilet!

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
Maybe. Why would that be? Because they're flattened by your body weight?

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
True. I have had the unpleasant experience of waking up with bugs in my mouth.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
There are some people who seem to have eyes in the back of their head. You just walk by behind them and they know who you are without turning their head.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
False. I don't think there's any green ingredient in it.

[ August 12, 2003, 06:38: Message edited by: Kamog ]

narf poit chez BOOM

August 12th, 2003, 08:11 AM

True. I have had the unpleasant experience of waking up with bugs in my mouth.
bugs? i've only had that happen once. spider.

Utah: no, we don't clog naked.

[ August 12, 2003, 07:58: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Ragnarok

August 12th, 2003, 02:18 PM

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!
This is partially true I believe. Just in a different sense. All bodily functions do not stop as Kamog said, but all organs do stop IIRC. Sneezing is the closest you'll come to dying in your life without actually dying.

Ed Kolis

August 15th, 2003, 06:08 AM

Graffiti found on ancient Aztec temple:

"Teosinte is good for your teeth! Say no to genetically modified corn!"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Wardad

August 15th, 2003, 06:04 PM

BUTTERCUPS http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow manages to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appears.
She says, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!" THEN, POOF.... she is gone.

After Dave gets hold of himself, he hollers for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

Dave yells back, "DON'T SWING, FRED! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!"

Wardad

August 15th, 2003, 06:08 PM

While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?

geoschmo

August 15th, 2003, 06:19 PM

Originally posted by Wardad:
While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?Damnit! That's wierd. No matter how many times I try and how much I concentrate I can't keep my foot moving clockwise. The best I can do is sort of a screwed up figure 8 pattern. I am telling my foot what to do and it is doing something different. Freaky! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

TerranC

August 15th, 2003, 06:35 PM

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

True.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

False. That's saying that he wasn't born with an umbilical cord.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

True.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

True.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

False.

6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.

I thought it was 1 in every 5 people in the US.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

True.

8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

False.

9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

True, but only in the western world. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

False.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

False.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

True.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

True.

14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

True.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

Probably true.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

True.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

False.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

False. Lots of animals can see behind ifself without turning it's head, such as Owls and Eagles.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

True.

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

I'll say true.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Although lots of food shown on TV and Food magazines aren't food, there is no need to simulate milk. False.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

True.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

False.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

False.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

False! The black colour of Coke is because of the syrup in it.

[ August 15, 2003, 17:35: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Hunkpapa

August 15th, 2003, 06:58 PM

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

The placenta is also sold to cosmetic companies for make-up and moisturizer. Something they do not like to advertise.

Jack Simth

August 15th, 2003, 08:23 PM

Originally posted by TerranC:
[qb]2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

False. That's saying that he wasn't born with an umbilical cord.
The statement doesn't specify at what time in his life he didn't have a bellybutton; sometimes an injury (especially war injuries) will require skin to be removed from that area, which sometimes includes the belly button. It is possible that during and after his career as a director, he did not.

sheridangreen

August 16th, 2003, 12:58 AM

What's the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.

Kamog

August 16th, 2003, 06:41 AM

Originally posted by Wardad:
While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?OK, at first I couldn't do it. I start making clockwise circles with my foot, and the moment I start drawing the number 6 with my hand, my foot starts circling in the other direction. I tried and tried, and after several minutes, I was able to do it, and now I can do it every time.

What you do is: first, just keep making clockwise circles with your right foot, and do this for about 20-30 seconds until you get used to it and no longer have to think about it. Then, quickly draw a 6 in the air with your right hand. Once you can draw the 6 quickly in the air, you can do it more slowly and still be OK.

Then, I thought of an even better idea. Instead of drawing the 6 normally, from the top down and making the small circle in the counterclockwise direction, draw the 6 in the opposite direction from usual. Make the small circle of the 6 first, in a clockwise direction, and then extend the curve up to complete the 6. Then it's easy to keep the foot circling in the clockwise direction.

narf poit chez BOOM

August 16th, 2003, 09:31 AM

i managed it. with intense concentration. how is everybody at the old 'rub your stomach and pat your head'?

Jack Simth

August 16th, 2003, 11:30 AM

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
i managed it. with intense concentration. how is everybody at the old 'rub your stomach and pat your head'?It took me about four tries to keep my foot going clockwise. After that, piece of cake.

As for "the old 'rub your stomach and pat your head'", I do perfectly, but they tend to come out on the same beat.

Taera

August 16th, 2003, 12:07 PM

its very interesting, if im rubbing my stomach with the left hand and patting the head with the right i can do it perfectly without concentration. the other way around is more difficult though.
Jack, foot going clockwise??

Jack Simth

August 16th, 2003, 03:04 PM

Taera:
Originally posted by Wardad:
While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?It's an exercise on distinguishing nerves; it took me four tries to keep my foot going clockwise after trying it.

CEO TROLL

August 17th, 2003, 04:13 PM

A verbal riddle. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Say it out loud to solve it.

sofa king
we tod did

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ August 17, 2003, 15:20: Message edited by: CEO TROLL ]

Iansidious

August 17th, 2003, 08:54 PM

Here's a riddle for anyone. A box without hinges,key,or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid. One more.What has roots as nobody sees,is taller than trees up ,up it goes,and yet never grows? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Jack Simth

August 17th, 2003, 10:11 PM

Originally posted by Iansidious:
Here's a riddle for anyone. A box without hinges,key,or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid. Egg: Box is the shell, golden treasure is the yolk. Originally posted by Iansidious:
One more.What has roots as nobody sees,is taller than trees up ,up it goes,and yet never grows? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif Numbers - you have square roots, cube roots, nth roots, et cetera, and it goes up to infinity, but the numbers are there, defined by the system, not growing.

Fyron

August 17th, 2003, 10:15 PM

Originally posted by Iansidious:
Here's a riddle for anyone. A box without hinges,key,or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid.Ok Bilbo (or was that Gollum?). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ August 17, 2003, 21:15: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

Jack Simth

August 17th, 2003, 10:19 PM

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iansidious:
Here's a riddle for anyone. A box without hinges,key,or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid.Ok Bilbo (or was that Gollum?). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif <hr /></blockquote>The first was Bilbo, the second Gollum
(link (http://tolkien.cro.net/talesong/riddles.html)) ... and apparently the expected answer for the second was "mountain" - oops.

Wardad

August 18th, 2003, 06:15 PM

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
"Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the Last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son -
...."Go get your mother."