Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Growltigger]

The camera pans back, reminiscient of the opening of the battle of sterling in Braveheart. The battle lines are forming, and initial skirmishing is going on to boot.....

A ballistae fires its steely arrow, adroitly ripping off the female T-Rex costume off what turns out to be 4 Fu Man Chu lookalikes on a tricycle clutching a boombox playing the sound track to Jurassic Park. A flurry of fiery arrows turns them into wantons.. (that old 4 chinaman in a comedy T-Rex outfit never works!)

The torrent of country music is drowned out by the sound of bells and whistles, Raging Deadstar and his nasty army of conservatives, knights and were-gerbils runs gibbering in terror when the evil band of bearded social workers and maths teachers comes charging out of GT's battleline all garbed up as morris dancers....hell hath no fury like a middle aged tosser in bells and whistles waving handerchiefs and who, I might add, should really know better....

The heavy artillery loads up the greek fire, flaming projectiles and stink bomb gas, as well as the anti-Cumbrian evil boll weevil knacker nibbling parasite bombs - boy, is RD going to get it...

GT shrugs off the welsh colours, urinates on the paint, waves his magic wand, and turns RD into a fey canadian rugby player, just before the whole Springbok first fifteen charge onto him....

Woundwort, finding out that the dampening field has stopped his vanishing trick, disappears under an nasty horde of mongooses....

and what silly sod is bring cobras to the party, mongooses eat cobras!!

[General Woundwort]

With an electric WHOOMP, mongooses fly in all directions as Woundwort activates a Personal Shield generator he found at a trader's booth in the Arrakis bazaar.

"Boss, I've fulfilled my end of the contact from day one. I paid for that Starfury cantina twice over, from my own pocket. I even came here to offer moral support for your onslaught when all the other old customers were out for your blood. And this is the thanks I get! Okay, fine! If that's the way we're gonna play - LET'S ROCK!"

Rapidly punching buttons on his wrist computer, Woundwort opens a door in the back of the cantina. Out of the door pours a horde of heavily modified pinwheel attack droids, who begin to lay waste to the legions of mongooses and whatever else GT has to throw at them.

[Power Man]

Power Man loads up the CATaplut with some items and fires into GT's army.
The CATaplut launches several large picture books into the middle of the teachers and social workers.
These are not just Any books. They are CATalogs !! As they hit the ground a change comes over GT's troops.
The math teachers grab the books up and start building Log and even Log-Log tables.
The social workers grab up the books and start recording their life Works as Log entries.
Soon the whole army so tired they fall asleep. Their snores sound like Logs being sawed.

GT is so busy he does not see a large CATbird fly through the roof and drop off a chilled can of tonic by his side. GT turns back and sees the can of tonic.
Felling the need to replenish his body fluids, and thinking : "Finally this must be a drink from David ", GT POPS the top and drains the can in one Belch Inducing gulp.

Only then does he read the label. DR. Franks CATatonic Drink. For a paralyzing DEEP SLEEP this can't be beet.
GT is filled with TERROR !!! He falls to the ground with a fit of CATaplexy. His limbs go numb, he can't move or speak. Soon he lies there in a CATatonic state.

As for the mongooses, I did say these are SSuper SSpecial SSPiting Cobrasss .
The mongoose can't eat what they can't catch!!
A Special Squad of the SSuper SSpecial SSPiting Cobrasss streak to Woundwort's aid.
The mongooses turn to meet their Arch Enemies.
As they approach the mongooses the the Cobras let fly with streams of venom.
The SSuper SSpecial venom hits the mongoose where it has a CATolitic effect. It causes the mongoose to burst into FLAME!! Soon a fowl SMELL fills the area as mongooses are all burnt up.
It appears that the mongeese's goose is cooked.

Hay Taz you can now add Roast Mongoose to your CATalog of food items…

Just look at all the neet things that start with CAT. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar quickly dives to the left of the incoming various sharp objects. He reaches to his side and pulls out the patented "Ghastly Art Student Colour Scheme Paintball Gun". Opening fire (With a rather relaxing thud-thud-thud automated firing sound) on the helpless masses of remainging Mongooses and Morris Dancers. Who, it must be said, rather promptly run in fear from the terrible paint schemes covering them*

"Release the Censors!!!" RD Shouts as hundreds of Censorship people flood the cantina accusing GT Of gross violence and dubious methods that are unacceptable...blah blah...blah...blah...Oh good they're done! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*Maliki walks over to the more lethal weapon next to him, the mounted harpoon gun, loads it and laughs as it fires into the foray of enemies! It might have took out some censors but they are cannon fodder anyway http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif *

[Growltigger]

Right, outnumbered 3 to 1, surrounded by foes, ganged up on by nasty Americans and a Cumbrian, it is time to get creative......

OK, dealing with foes in order of posting...

Strike 1

General Woundwort obvious forgets that there is a dampening field in place over all the cantina, which means that all electronic gagdetry has no effect....

Mongooses briefly fly in all directions when said Woundwort stands up, but we are talking about the 3rd light infantry of the 5th Legion, the fearsome "knacker nibblers" and hell hath no fury like an armoured mongoose denied his knacker nibbling for a second... the mongooses dive back in, and Woundwort is encased in a writhing mass of knacker nibbling anger...

GT strides out of the lines and kicks said virginian in the bonce. "Listen sunny jim, you know the terms for the old cantina, you read the contract. This is what is called an event of default, the event is what is happening now, the default is what is going to happen next"..

A killer mongoose greek fire team marches up to the great kat, and at his directions, inserts the nozzle of their bellows up Woundwort's rectum.

"Old business pardner (I believe you Americans say), this is going to hurt you more than its hurts me.. mongooses away, fire crew shoot."

Woundwort leaves the cantina in a bottom related inferno....

the pinwheel robots, being technological devices, clatter forward two feet, and then fall over on some were-gerbils.

Strike 2

GT walks over to the strange figure, sitting in the corner of the cantina, and smoking what can only be described as the hugest reefer known to mankind.

"Power Man old chap" says the mighty, but considerate cat, "I do not know what type of mary jane you have in that thing, but it has scrambled your marbles, and you are hallucinating, may be you should sit this one out"

GT leaves the wretched old druggee snoozing and toking out in his corner...

And by the way, mongeese has ablative armour

Strike 3

RD dives to the left, right into the path of the buzzsaw shuriken launched from a particular unpleasant rodent crewed cannon.. the paint balls bounce of the armoured torsos of the Byzantine legions mailed warrior mongooses who, it is true, are slightly alarmed by the gibbering cumbrian sausage scoffer being awfully strange in front of them..

true, the marshalled hordes retreat from the censors, but not when GT fires up the betsy the bloody hot and painful battle axe and charges into the fray.

Gore sprays everywhere, that's for my mum, that's for my dad, that's for my aunt nelly, that's for my aunt lucy, that's for uncle jim bless him, that's for grandpa albrecht, that's for cousin gale (grrrrr), that's for my bro, that's for my step-bro, that's for cousin susan.................................... that's for cousin brian... that's for my sis...

Pity for the censors I have got such a big family....

Gore is spread all over the cantina, the censors are annihilated and splattered in bits all over the shop...

GT signals the artillery corp, the damn great red hot poker 4000mm pain howitzer fires, and this Maliki person disappears in a bLast of ash, cinders and a rather quick scream of "ouch"...

RD living proof that Cumbrians snog otters

[primitive]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
.
.
.

Someone calm down those evil ninja mutant shrimp <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Primitive enters the cantina carrying some baguettes (not the flaming type), a jar of mayonnaise and a landing net.

Get some water cooking Taz, shrimp sandwiches coming up !!!

[General Woundwort]

The mongooses stare in confusion as the Woundwort they attack fades into nothingness.

"Oh, come on, Boss, you didn't think I'd leave myself open to that sort of treatment, did you? Electroncs, schmectronics. Quantum-level technology, that's the ticket."

From the rear ranks, a quantum shielded Woundwort reappears, picks up a barstool and starts racking up a score of mongooses.

WHACK
"One!"
WHACK
"Two!"

"Hey RD! Two already! There's plenty enough for the both of us, may the best score win!"

WHACK
"Three!"

(and, well, you get the idea...)

[mac5732]

As the crowd swoops down on the poor old wizen one, as they are about to rend him, limb from limb, they stop, frozen in their tracks, shortly they turn around and go back to their tables to watch the bloodshed being waged within the confines of the cantina between the Furry Feline and his mutinous minions. The wize one just smiles, and slips something back into his pocket. Ahh it works he mumbles and he lifts his brewski towards the waring factions in toast to their steadfast and continuing cartoon violence. He looks towards Renegade and smiles.. aahh if he only knew what is about to happen to him.... he laughs..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif take my pizza and you pay the piper... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

just some ideas mac

[Renegade 13]

As he's foiled again, Renegade pauses in his plotting to take a look at the chaos surrounding him. Fortunatly, there's still a perch available to watch the action http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Nimbly jumping about 20 feet in the air, Renegade lands lightly on the rafter of the Cantina. With clear surroundings, Renegade can now watch with amusement the other Cantina patrons attempting to rend each other limb from limb.

"This is for you Mac, you selfish old coot!! Not let me steal your pizza huh?"

Dropping his (rather heavy) titanium beer mug on the noggin of Mac, Renegade laughs with delight as the wizened one sways on his feet for a couple seconds, then crumples in a sodden heap....right in the middle of the knacker nibbling mongooses http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ April 27, 2004, 04:14: Message edited by: Renegade 13 ]

[Growltigger]

Growltigga smirks to himself. His arch-nememis, that wretched virgin Woundwort has retired from the battle, with his tail well and truly between his legs.

The smirk is wiped off his face when he hears RD's words.

"Listen you inbred Cumbrian sausage fiddling morris dancing missing link, my work is based in Manchester. I live in Cheshire, and I AM FROM GOD'S OWN EARTH, LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE AND PROOF THAT THE GARDEN OF EDEN WAS ENGLISH, YES KENT, Canterbury to be exact. Anyone suggesting I talk with a stupid accent and come from oop north is acting for trouble".

GT wades threw the throng, grabs RD by the throat and proceeds to choke the life out of the wretch, whilst bashing his head against the floor.

GT is slightly put off when the cumbrian farmers charge toward the fray. Thinking quickly, he turns to them and says "Lads, what are you doing here? there is a barn dance going on in Carlisle and all your female cousins are there, and they are all about 14 years old". Where once was a crowd of angry Cumbrian farmers, now all that can be seen is a puff of dust and a streak of something moving rapidly up the M6.

GT looks at the Cat from Red Dwarf, and says, "Pllluueeeaaaasssee, the only thing that smells good in here is Me, (damn I love this aftershave)"

RD awaits his evil plan to come to fruition, whilst being throttled and having his head banged with some force against the floor

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
GT is slightly put off when the cumbrian farmers charge toward the fray. Thinking quickly, he turns to them and says "Lads, what are you doing here? there is a barn dance going on in Carlisle and all your female cousins are there, and they are all about 14 years old". Where once was a crowd of angry Cumbrian farmers, now all that can be seen is a puff of dust and a streak of something moving rapidly up the M6.<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Y'know, i wish i could deny that comment, but the more i look around this city the more i agree http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif Although i always seen the farmers as more sheep people http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

"Gods own earth? are you sure, England is known for football hooligans, kebabs and Essex Girls.... God really does have a funny sense of humour... And Canterbury.... oooh boy we have a Southerner Here" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*RD Whilst being choked, throtled and mangled manages a smile.*

"Does Mrs GT know about the huge expenses you pay for this army" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

*RD then quickly grabs GT's Red Hot Poker Cannon and fires it straight through GT's foot. Growltigger tries to remain composed, tears welling and bottom lip bitten. RD scrambles away and then grabs his broadsword lying amongst the carnage.*

"Come on Ye Olde Southerner. Any Closer to France and you would have been born with a beret! I spit upon your pathetic, and rather expensive, attempts to defeat us!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

EDIT: Glad to know I can enjoy my promotion to captain before i'm dismantled, dismembered, decombobulated and anything else. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ April 27, 2004, 14:06: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

"Ouch ouch ouch ouch, RD" says GT hopping on one foot, " I have one thing to say to you, you evil north western black pudding scoffing ferret felcher, and that BAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".

Hey guys, do you know that Raging Deadstar has 15 girlfriends? they are all called Flossy!!

Yep, I am from Canterbury, the deep south of England, I suppose like the equivalent of Alabama but without the rednecks, stupid accents and Americans...

And as for England, it is god's own earth

football hooligans? what are we doing now in the cantina (PS Chelsea to win 2 nil on the return leg and beat Monaco on the away goal rule PPS Slae Sharks to make Europe after getting through on thr wildcard),

kebabs? never touch them, I like my food not to look like a girl's private parts

Essex girls - fine with me, dont knock 'em until you try them, or at least, knock them when you try them..

And yes, Mrs GT knows about the expenses. AS long as she gets the opportunity to terrorise the kingdom of the danes, and shop of course, she is fine

Monsieur Le Furibond Etoile Du Mort, you 'av met your Waterloo you stupid Cumbrian Knigggut,

GT pulls out his most fearsome weapon, the flaming serrated armoured plated eggwhisk of doom....(you know, one of those with two whirly things and a handle you resolve, except this one is evil and on fire)

RD's broadsword is rapidly chopped into bits, and ask the eggwhisk of doom delves in, organs, blood, boldily parts, hair, clothing and other mucky bits of RD (including that purply wobbly bit by the spleen) are sprayed all round the cantina......

RD is no more, he is shredded and gazing round, GT sees that the Byzantine mongoose horde has annihilated it opposition. The cantina is his.

Now for some peace and quiet, taking RD's still steaming head, GT drops his kecks and sits down upon it, opening his copy of the financial times, and settling down for a nice quiet crap.

Ahhhhhh, peace, at Last.

[ April 27, 2004, 14:25: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*The silence is absoloute as GT Claims the Cantina for his own and surveys the damage.*

*Well it would be if it weren't for the manical laughter of a disembodied presence.*

"Tut Tut Tut GT. It would seem victory was yours, but you have not seen the Last of myself. Not until the end times of the forum when the one known as Ragnarok will bring the end of the cantina and your glorious reign."

And with that the presence dissipated...

*Hundreds of Light Years away deep in Deadstar Space a body suddenly wakes up and looks around, clutching it's chest as the onlookers watch..*

"Lord Deadstar?"
"That Guy is One SICK Eggwhisk wielding Southerner!!!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga sits comfortably on the dismembered head of RD, at peace with the world, and feeling mightily releived. Damn, there is nothing like a good brawl to make one need a heavy dump. Growltigga finishes reading the financial times, and is pleased to review the brief obituary of Raging Deadstar in it.

He tears off the page, and uses this to wipe his fur down.

Fine, that daft Cumbrian sheep molester can come back anytime he wants. The eggwhisk of doom is ready and waiting for his next feeble attempt to usurp the cantina from its lawful owner.

Now to get this place cleaned up, recruit some FBW's, reinstall the pygmies in the loo and Barry in the carpark (awww look at him picking over the carnage, ain't he sweat), and find Taz again to run the bar

Note to self, ban Ragnarok from cantina, or alternatively, or just kill him when he comes in

[ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*A message pops up on Mac's laptop*

From: Raging Deadstar
To: Forum Chat Bar & Grill

My Plan worked, we fought bravely, you have returned from lurking and i have just bought 40% stock in the cantina because shareholders dislike Collateral Damage and Revoloutions! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

*A Seccond Message pops up*

General Woundwort is charged with storing and selling American drinks upon your premises and with your liscence. The FB-NAD (Federal Bureau of Non American Drinks) is on it's way to issue fines and arrests.

[ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

Errr RD, you have bought shares in thr wrong cantina.

The shares in the REAL cantina are owned by Tigg-Scoff PLC, which in turn is jointly owned by those cowboys of the spaceways, Dogscoff and Growltigga.

R U Sure that you havn't mistakenly bought shares in Manchester United....

and PS if you had bought 40% of the shares in the real cantina, rule 7 of Blue book would mean you have to mandatorily make a offer on no less favourable terms for the rest of the shares. I would check your substantial acquisition rules if I were you..

blow, I have reverted into lawyer speak

[Raging Deadstar]

1. Since when has Tigg-Scoff PLC went by the book? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

2. This isn't the real cantina. This is the "Forum Chat Bar and Grill" Not the Phong's head http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Growltigger]

We have gone by the book at any time when there is the remotest chance that we would have been caught by the regulatory authorities, the enforcement agencies, or in extreme cases, any offended deity

Bugger, you are right, I have wrecked the wrong cantina. Oh well, at least I dont have to run the place and repair the damage, and I have so wanted to see what that hellfire blitzkrieg cannon would do to structures.

Do you know, a battle royale in the cantina is just not the same without Ragnarok to abuse, and Dogscoff to join in the fray!

[Raging Deadstar]

I must agree, Ragnarok was always the best "whipping boy" of the cantina. And There was no Gaint Mutated sea monsters with celtic names http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Although i guess thats why is signed those shares in Ragnaroks name, so the cannon is a great idea... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Done, do we evacuate the cantina first? keeping in mind Mac and Power Man are comatose here, or do we just fire the gun off and see what happens?

after all, when you are talking bodycount, the higher the better!!

[Raging Deadstar]

I'm light years away in a far away galaxy communicating by Macs laptop...

Go for high body Count http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Whilst RD and Tigga are not looking Ragnarok slips past them. Ragnarok then looks for the shares to erase his name but then he notices that RD signed them in invisable ink, therefore there is no name on them right now. Ragnarok pulls out a permanant marker and signs the shares in RDs name. Then slips back outside the way he came in and no one even noticed him.

Once Ragnarok returns to his hideout he hacks into RDs computer and starts making Messages come to Tigga that read "Tigga, this is RD...you are fat and have bad body oder!" Many other Messages such as this are sent all the while Tigga thinks it is RD that is doing this.

Ragnarok sits back and then sends RD a nasty virus that wipes his computer completely and he then laughs evily.

[ April 27, 2004, 15:58: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*RD Laughs hilariously as he watches the goings on over at the cantina. On His computer*

"Rags, Rags rags. *Shakes head* You are aware those were the new shares for the original Cantina that GT Owns...No, Oh well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif I guess you own the Phong's head... And you have a very angry ex-owner next to you"

"Also, i'm not there http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif And the computer you just hacked was Mac's, currently i am several Hundred Light years away in an Unknown Destination laughing at you..."

"Of course you could keep the shares i have bought in your name and plead for GT Not to destroy the cantina you now own http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "

[Ragnarok]

My dear friend, of course I knew that. But when you signed them into my name you used invisable ink! Therefore my signature is no longer on it and I signed yours onto them. So you now own the Cantina and I am sure Tigga will not be happy with you.

"Also, i'm not there http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif And the computer you just hacked was Mac's, currently i am several Hundred Light years away in an Unknown Destination laughing at you..."

I hate to disappoint you once again my friend. But working in the IT and computer fields for a living I traced your IP through Macs computer back to your secret hiding spot/unknown destination. Whilst I did infect Macs computer (sorry about that Mac) I got yours as well as I did not want to leave any stone unturned.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
My dear friend, of course I knew that. But when you signed them into my name you used invisable ink! Therefore my signature is no longer on it and I signed yours onto them. So you now own the Cantina and I am sure Tigga will not be happy with you.

"Also, i'm not there http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif And the computer you just hacked was Mac's, currently i am several Hundred Light years away in an Unknown Destination laughing at you..."

I hate to disappoint you once again my friend. But working in the IT and computer fields for a living I traced your IP through Macs computer back to your secret hiding spot/unknown destination. Whilst I did infect Macs computer (sorry about that Mac) I got yours as well as I did not want to leave any stone unturned. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Lol, Rags, I have the legitimate papers here on my desk. And they're in your name http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

As for Computers, well we of the Deadstar Continnuum don't use IP Addresses, and Not Windows either (we ain't that evil!) Our computers are obviously more advanced than yours, considering you have to overturn stones to find stuff on yours http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Look on the brightside, you have a cantina

On the darker side i just took control of the cantina defences and have a Wall mounted Red Hot Poker Cannon aiming directly at you...

*Rd Wonders though....who's shares did Ragnarok sign, and who's computer did he just blow up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif *

And of course even if this cantina was still in my name, I never said i didn't want GT to test out this giant cannon on it. So i guess you're fried Raggamuffin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ April 27, 2004, 16:25: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Power Man]

As the dust settles and the SMELL dissipates Power Man Looks over the Battle Field. It came down to the barbed wire but my barricade of Log and Log-Log tables held off the mongoose. My Cobras and old Battle AX kept them at bay.
What a Battle. Even out numbered 3 to 1 GT still wins!!
I am sure it will make a fine story and be added to the rest of the Tales there in Canterbury.

Note to GT: You are the one who must be seeing things. That is not me in the cantina. I have been out in the field cooking your Mongooses (Mongeese??) The only Old One is "get an idea" Mac.

I must get a better English-English to American-English translator. I don't know if was the "oop North" accent but some of the terms just did not translate.
I mean just what is a "Cumbrian Knigggut" ??

It was fun but now I must leave. England may be God's land, but as the song goes, "The Bluest Skies are in Seattle." I am off to explore, and conquer my latest SE4 universe. ( I am using an expanded system name file and now have over 250 systems to take over.)

Power Man takes out his portable hair dryer and uses it to dry up GT's DAMPing field.
As the power comes back the small ship slowly disappears.
The Last thing to fade away is my smiling face in the window." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Well so long, or in English-English, TA TA …


PS.. Congrats on your promotion Captain RD.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Power Man:
I must get a better English-English to American-English translator. I don't know if was the "oop North" accent but some of the terms just did not translate.
I mean just what is a "Cumbrian Knigggut" ??<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Ooop North is basically "Up North" with a dodgy accent.

The Last one is.....On second thoughts i don't think you'd want to know.

And Thanks for the congraltulations Powerman, good luck conquering the universe http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Renegade 13]

Now that the chaos has calmed down, Renegade gingerly pulls the very uncomfortable pointy object from his rectum, and climbs down from his perch to survey the damage. Dropping down onto the floor, which made a squishing sound as he walked on it, from all the gore, Renegade walks up to Growltigga and confronts the tyrant:

"What was that unprovoked attack for?!?!?? I was harmlessly watching the action, and you just up and violated me with a very painful object!! I expect an APOLOGY!! NOW!!"

After stating his demands in a reasonable fashion, Renegade slowly backs towards the door (and possible escape, in case of more red hot poker cannons http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ), and faces the big Cat.

[Growltigger]

The knacker nibbling mongooses, having sunk their sharp (yet steely) fangs in the scrotal regions of Mac, pull back in horror, spitting frankily, holding their little rodent noses and pulling faces... "ooh great commander, we will happily chew the cojones off anyone, be they living, dead or somewhere inbetween, but even the most heinous and disgusting lord of the nether regions has better bodily hygiene than this old codger, its tastes like really moldy old parmesan.. blyuuurrrkk!!

The mongooses head towards Power Man and savage him instead!

Renegade, lurking in the rafters, fails to notice the air artillery corp of the Byzantine horde tracking in on him. Several guided red hot poker anti-aircraft cannon loose their munitions, and the silly old sod is blown off through the ceiling.

GT, in the midst of smashing a were gerbil to pavement pizza with a piece of censor, notices Woundworts' transmogrification. If he wants quantum technology, quatum technolgy he gets. Pressing a button on betsy the axe, GT laughs as the nasty Virginian disappears from the cantina, and reappears suspended in mid air over the deepest canyon in the land. A la Wild E Coyote, Woundwort disappears into the depths, smashing into the bottom with a puff of smoke and a resounding crunch..

Having massacred the were gerbils and conservatives, an all out assault is launched on Raging Deadstar. No oikish northerner is going to give defiance to the great kat in his own cantina.

Cry havoc, and let slip the rodents of war.

Cue, explosions, screaming hordes, mayhem etc oh, and a small aubergine

[General Woundwort]

Well, I guess that being suspended over a canyon means I'm out of the damper field, right?

{punches a few buttons on the wrist computer...)

"Sancho... NOW."

Woundwort transports out of the way of the approaching granite, to... somewhere else. Sorry, guys, you're on your own as far as the rest of this brawl is concerned. I've got an empire to build (for the PBW company to tear apart), and a Mod to unleash.

[Raging Deadstar]

"Hey GT, You're from manchester if i recall correctly, the only place in the country you could pick up a girl in a kebab house (LOW Standards) and you have the nerve to think you're Northerners http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif "

*RD proceeds to continue to smash mongooses with Bar stools (hey, they're high quality considering they've survived that long). RD smiles as his PBC Character gets slaughtered and throws down his flaming baguette, before pulling out his trusty broadsword with serated edges As he whistles two rather terrible things begin to happen*

*Firstly a hoard of stereotypical Cumbrian Farmers charge growltigger with pitchforks and combine harvesters (These Guys scare me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )*

*Secondly a rather well dressed alien walks from the rest room. It's Cat from red dwarf, perhaps the only more stylish and cool cat than Growltigger's self proclaimed position. He struts over and looks at the GT, shakes his head, and proceeds to mock him about all things GT Holds dear. One particularly harsh insult is the "You're about as stylish as a Brazillian Football Player!!"*

*Meanwhile RD Awaits, his evil plan is coming to fruition...*

[ April 27, 2004, 12:57: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Cipher7071]

Cipher shimmers back into the scene. Hmmmm... looks like the coast is clear. Let's see now... A little catsup... aah, some horseradish...

And after washing a rather dirty eggwhisk that happened to be laying around, whips up a quick batch of cocktail sauce. Indeed, enough of the shrimp have been gathered and boiled to produce enough complimentary shrimp cocktail for what remain of the patrons.

I think we've all had entirely enough of that coffee, Taz. Too much caffeine and suddenly we're all insulting each other's haberdashers. Would it be improper to serve ale with these shrimp?

[ April 28, 2004, 03:03: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ]

[Growltigger]

Do the troubles and tribulations of a cantina owner (not sure I still own it) and despotic violent feline tyrant never end?

Renegade, you see this armoured plated fiery eggwhisk of doom that I am revving up? you see the door? you have two seconds to get through it before I "whisk" you up and as I am touching cloth, drop a log down your neck (after the head has been removed).

Power Man, you need psychriatric help. No one can cook a mongoose, they just dont taste good and the armour and scimitars tend to put people off.

Do I own the cantina? if not, who does?

I need a lie down, a stiff drink and possibly a good back massage (if I can find an FBW).

Cipher, have a beer with those shrimp. They were borrowed from Dogscoff and weren't much cop anyhow. They were defeated by a were-gerbil with a jar of marie-rose sauce

[Power Man]

The air shimmers above the cantina and once again Power Man's face appears. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

GT you say I need psychriatric help You are the one that needs to see a shrink and FAST.
I try to improve this forum with references to Chaucer and Louis Carroll and some, I think, rather nice pun's and all you do is fill the place with gore and "drop a log" down people's chopped off heads !!

As far as the Mongooses go I did say the cobras were special with SSuper CATalytic Venom. This caused the armor itself to burst into flame to cook the mongooses. I have not tried eating them so I don't know how they taste. But I see that Berry has been eating a lot of them. He cracks the armor like a shrimp and puts a lot of CATsup on them. He uses the scimitars as a tooth pick to get the Last bits out of the armor and from between his teeth.

Yes you do need to lie down, but with a physiatrist. Maybe he can shrink your FAT HEAD.

With that Last CATcall I disappear. Once again TA TA….

[ April 28, 2004, 16:11: Message edited by: Power Man ]

[Raging Deadstar]

I have no idea who owns the cantina... Apparently I do according to rags. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

So i'll give you all the shares i own to this cantina for a once only price.

You blow this place up and Make Sure Rags is here when it does http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Raging Deadstar, sounds like a good option but you know Rags is like haemmorroids. However much you try to get rid of them, they just keep on itching and coming back.

Power Man, not sure I like the fat head remark, but that coming from a resident of Seattle who claims to know Chaucer and Carroll, I will take with a pinch of salt.

Tried psychiatry - it doesn't work and I think I gave the therapist more problems than he could cure on me!

If I were sane, do you think I would be posting on this thread.

As to the gore, I think it was you lot wanting a war, and of course I was only happy to deliver

[Renegade 13]

Watching the pathetic sight of Growltigger brandishing an eggbeater like it was a sword, Renegade can't help himself. Falling to his knees, he bursts out in hysterical laughter, and watches as Growltigger comes at him with the beaters.

"Ahhhhhh.......Ooooooo.......STOP THAT!! That tickles!!"

As the eggbeater's vibrate against his exposed skin, Renegade laughs and laughs, exhausting himself, and frustrating the furry feline to no end.

[mac5732]

mac wakes up in the cantina infirmry surrounded by Liz Hurly clones who are just fawning all over him , ooohhhing and aahhhing... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif man whoever knocked me out, I must say I thank you much.. as he lays back he is given a rub down by the LH clones, aahh,, this is the life he mutters, He looks for his computer to send a msg to GT, but he can't seem to find it... hmmmm, must still be at my table.....oh well,.... he reclines back and enjoys the ministrations be showered on him...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas Mac

[Cipher7071]

I envy mac his Liz Hurly clones, but then, their ministrations would likely go to waste on this nickel plated hide. I wonder if those clones might happen to have a buffer and some auto wax handy.

[mac5732]

The wizen old one walks into the cantina and notices how quiet it is in the place. he sees the dust on the tables and dance floor, mostly empty, it sure is depressing he mumbles, where is everyone? Gt, The Gryphin, and all the rest... oh well, he strolls over to his table, sits down, and thinks, man was I in the hospital that long?? He calls over a FBW and orders his usual, scrambled eggs, bacon, rye toast, hash browns and a brewski, as he waits he opens up his newest research thesis and starts to look it over....

just some ideas Mac

[Cipher7071]

Egad. Multiple Posts.

[ May 20, 2004, 03:52: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ]

[Cipher7071]

How did I do this?

[ May 20, 2004, 03:53: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ]

[Cipher7071]

The breeze whistles through the cantina. It's official now. I have become a moron.

[ May 20, 2004, 03:55: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ]

[Cipher7071]

Alas. The latest episode seems to have ended in a reduction to barbarism. Ironic that a battle in cyber-space should terminate with the use of pikes and halberds ... all over someone's choice in women. Some things never change. Ah well. The old boy in the corner has returned to mumbling over his books. Perhaps I shall do so as well. There's no conversing with him in this state. Even I have been reduced to dotage. Whatever became of Sam?

[ May 20, 2004, 03:58: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ]

[David E. Gervais]

You're right Mac, mac,..mac,..mac,.. The Cantina is really quiet,..quiet,..quiet,..quiet,.. In fact just listen to the echo bounce off the walls,..walls,..walls,..walls,..

Oh well,..well,..well,..well,.. I'm getting used to the silence,..silence,..silence,..silence,.. It reminds me of the good 'ol #se4 chat room,..room,..room,..room,.. where all the lurkers hang out,..out,..out,..out,..

Cheers!,..Cheers!,..Cheers!,..Cheers!,.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*A Disembodied voice echoes through the cantina*

BOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIINNNGGGG!

*Finding it Ammusing he waits for everyone to settle down again*

NNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

The old one looks up from his research papers after he hears what sounds like talking, something like Mac...mac...mac.... and others. He looks around only sees David E. G. and RD, he waves at them and has a FBW take over a few brewskis to their tables, he then goes back to reading his papers.....

just some ideas mac

[ May 20, 2004, 19:16: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*RD Wonders how in the world he is going to be able to drink Mac's generous gift when he is light years away...*

Oh well, better make an appearence...

*RD Teleports back into the Cantina, and when no-one is looking switches the brewski for something less alcoholic*

"Cheers" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[mac5732]

well, this place has been quiet to long http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif so Bump in the night.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[David E. Gervais]

I know what you mean Mac, I too miss the good 'ol Cantina.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Maybe if you changed the name of this thread to something like "The NEW Cantina Revival Chat Bar and Grill" things might pick up. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ June 21, 2004, 10:47: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Gryphin]

Runs in,
Steals Macs Pizza
Jumps through window
Lands in thorns
Enjoys pizz

[General Woundwort]

"Energise."

Woundwort fades into view, quickly appraises the situation.

"No mongooses, no rampaging hordes... No Boss. Life is good."

Woundwort slides into a corner booth, lights up a Punch maduro, and orders a Guinness stout.

[mac5732]

The wizen old one walks over to the window, looks out and see's the Gryphin stuck in the rose bushes again, But, he's still eating Mac's pizza. The old one walks over to the Defibulator Dispensing machine, puts in his 20 credits, picks up the box as it comes out, walks over to the window, takes out the wires, pulls off the pads, and Yells to the Gryphin, "Here you old Custer Hat Reject", grab on to these and I'll pull you out, all is forgiven" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif The Gryphin grabs the wires and tks the old one for his help, As "The Gryphin" grabs onto the wires, Mac flips the switch on the box..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Careful Mac, The Gryphin is almost married now and has almost become untouchable (depending on how much you fear his fiance http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

[ June 21, 2004, 21:50: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Atrocities]

"If you go play that game I will make you sleep on the couch!" "Who needs sleep honey? I have an empire to run!"

[Renegade 13]

Staring menacingly at Gryphin, Renegade taps him on the shoulder...

"The job of annoying guy stealing Mac's pizza is MINE! Back off or this could get ugly..."

[primitive]

The Primitive one wanders in and sees this new place lacks a bit of the familiar atmosphere from the old Cantina.

Gives the FBWs a bump:
http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at334.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at335.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at336.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at337.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at338.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at336.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at334.gif

[ June 21, 2004, 12:57: Message edited by: primitive ]

[General Woundwort]

"Ooohhh, this could get interesting..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Woundwort polishes off his Guinness and drops the Punch into the ashtray. Lighting up a Padron Anniversario and ordering a bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale (http://www.arrogantbastard.com/index2.html), he settles back to enjoy the festivities.

[mac5732]

As the old one watches "The Gryphin", he notices Renegade 13 put his hand on the Gryphin's Shoulder, The wize one smiles ... and turns up the juice on the box, 2 for the price of 1 he mutters to himself... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

WOW, thanks, that was great! Gets off on the jolts at they run through me, (hmm, didn't know I enjoyed electric play.

Grabs the hand on my shoulder, yanks the body it is attached to trhough the window into the thorns.
Pardon me sonny, but I started it. Somebody have a link to the orignial Bar and Grill?

Me? Sleep on the couch? < The Gryphin Ramapnt Gryns one very amused Gryn > Trust me, you don't want to know why that is so funny.

As for Pooh Star protecting me? There is mroe to that than you want to know. There is an exception to the rule. She will not save me from myself. If I start it, I have to finish it.

[David E. Gervais]

I walk in and take a seat at a corner table. I pull out a bag of dried popcorn seeds and a long tube. I proceed to use the tube like a blowgun and ping corn seeds off the heads of passerby's.

Muahahahahahahahaha! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

P.S. It could be worse,.. I could have made spitballs. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Gryphin:
As for Pooh Star protecting me? There is mroe to that than you want to know. There is an exception to the rule. She will not save me from myself. If I start it, I have to finish it. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">And a smug "I told you not to *Insert various harmful activity*!" after right? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Renegade 13]

Pulling the thorns out of his various bodily cavities where they had managed to lodge themselves, Renegade climbs out of the prickly predicament he hs gotten himself into.

"Well old man, if you think you can handle me..."

Pulling out the hypodermic needle of Doom, Renegade stabs it directly in Gryphins eye. Howling in pain, he runs around as the burning substance finds its way to his brain...suddenly, Gryphin stops his screaming, jumps up on the table, and begins doing an Elvis impersonation!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif As everyone in the area runs frantically around, searching for earplugs, Renegade lies back, and orders himself a nice cool beer.

(Ahhhh that was tough to type with a broken hand...takes a loooooong time!!)

[Rasorow]

Glances into the Cantina wondering if its safe to stop in and meet some people for a few minutes.

As he walks in he sees Renegade jab Gryphin with a needle and decides there might be a new war coming.

Wonders if he can still order a decent glass of wine safely and meet a few people or if Chaos is about to descend.

[General Woundwort]

"Yes, you still can. But I'd be quick about it, because things are going to..."

POINK

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

"Dave, if you hit me with ONE more of those seeds, I'm going to call out the Pinwheels..."

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by General Woundwort:
POINK

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

"Dave, if you hit me with ONE more of those seeds, I'm going to call out the Pinwheels..." <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">fffffffffhp,. 'clink' Ha! got you in the ear that time..

fffffffffhp,. 'clunk' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif that one hit your nose..

fffffffffhp,. 'Boink' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Wow that kernel actually stuck to your forehead.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

..now if you'll just open your mouth to scream I can really test my aim.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Rasorow]

Slides into a chair in an out of the way corner and orders a glass of wine........

[Gryphin]

Having asorbed the contents of the needle, done my dance, and Elvis impresion,
Proceeds to do my Tap Dance impresion on the young man's head,

Hmm, forgot to remove my steelium studs, oh well, continues the tap dance on the little ones's face,

Hey, nice map, Maybe Fire on, er, Fyron will use it in an Adamant thingy. perhaps a story could be written from it,

[mac5732]

The older gentleman, watches the Gryphin and Renegade in the rose bushes and the Gryphin impersonation of the King..... Ouch he yells as a corn kernal bops him in the noggin. Doggon it, where are those.. ouch , ouch... the wizen one ducks under his table and beginns searching for the source of these flying torpedos......

[Rasorow]

Appreciately sips his wine,

then....

Notices the air beginning to fill with strange flying objects, and carefully covers his wine glass to protect it.

Rasorow

[Renegade 13]

While being trampled on by what felt like a herd of miniature elephants, Renegade thinks of a brilliant plan!

Sliding his mutilated and now hideous face out from under the tap-dancing Gryphin, Renegade lets out a ear-piercing whistle...

A few minutes later (while Gryphin is still madly tap-dancing) the most hideous, ugly, and just plain nasty female in the galaxy strides into the room. At 6'4" she is an imposing figure, a figure which is made all the more noticeable by her 300 pound weight.

As she thuds into the room, she spots Gryphin still tap-dancing (albeit at a slower rate than before). Squeeling with delight, she runs over, grabs Gryphin in a bear hug, and hauls him from the room, shouting her glee that she has finally found the tap-dancing man she had always wanted, and now she would never let him go, as long as she lived.

Screaming in pure and unadulterated agony, (both physical, and from the horrible sight of the woman) Gryphin struggles to break free, but is unable. As the stunned patrons watch helplessly, Gryphin is hauled from the room, fate unknown...

[General Woundwort]

[glares at DEG]

{mutters to self, so no flying popcorn seeds can get shot into his mouth] "I could call out the Pinwheels and have them kill him... but that will set SEV back a couple of years, and everyone else would torture me to death. Can't have that..."

A malicious grin spreads across Woundwort's face. Quick as a flash, Woundwort reaches into one of the pockets of his flightvest and whips out a phaser. Before anyone else in the cantina can react, he fires, scoring a direct hit on the popcorn seed container. The massive amount of thermal energy causes all the seeds to pop at once, completely burying the graphic artist and depriving him of his ammo.

Woundwort shouts over his shoulder, "Hey Taz, is there any extra salt and butter in the fridge?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Careful General, you might have crushed his mouse clicking hand, no more fancy intro screens for SEV
http://www.malfador.com/se5/se5main.html

Raging Deadstar smiles and throws a tomato at General Woundwort when he shouts out to Taz. It smacks him straight in the face, explodes and sends the seeds into the back of his throat. RD then ducks behind his table sniggering

[ June 23, 2004, 11:32: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Atrocities]

Oh God no! Not the mouse hand!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

The horror of the situation is realised as the FBW's run out with all sorts of medical equipment, themselves being SEIV fanatics as well, and dig David out. They stick him on a stretcher despite his few pleads that he is fine and he is wheeled off to a back room for X-rays and "VIP Hospital treatment" A crisis has been averted http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..sorry Mac, I was aiming at Gryphin but you kept poking your head in front of the window to watch the ruckus. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Thanks GW, I was ready for a snack. "Free popcorn, come and get your free popcorn!"

LOL, I didn't know that working on SE:V was the equivalent of a 'Cloak of Protection +100' LOL (hmmm I wonder if this applies to my NGC4 PBW game. hmmm?)

"Taz? I'm getting thirsty."

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Edit: Ahem! RD, you should know that the FBW's 'Special medical treatment' will be much more distracting than the popcorn. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Thanks! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ June 23, 2004, 11:48: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Atrocities]

I tried to use a "'Cloak of Protection +100'" in my game of *caughDIABLO2caugh* Last night but I still died. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[General Woundwort]

"You're in no position to talk about 'positions' RD. And since you like tomatoes, you're going to love this..."


[a few quick commmands are typed onto Woundwort's wrist computer, switching off hologram safety protocols. A few more commands and several large, ugly killer tomatoes (ala "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes") materialize.]

"Sic'em."

The Tomatoes immediately charge after Deadstar.

[Woundwort wipes his face with a napkin and smiles wickedly towards RD]

"Bon appetit, amigo..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ June 23, 2004, 14:39: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Raging Deadstar]

RD quickly reaches into his pockets and starts searching through the usual "Save my *** in the Cantina Equipment* Finding nothing except the usual wave motion guns he quickly grabs his portable laptop and does a google search.

"Hmm the Killer Tomatoes were stopped once before by a really really bad song... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "

Deciding against singing RD hops over to Captain Kwoks space empires food mod site. He quickly dives behind the bar and runs into the kitchen, running back out, the Killer Tomatoes waiting for him he levels a strange contraption. A prototype "Plasma Pulp Cannon", apparently effective against sentient tomatoes. He promptly destroys the tomatoes, fires a couple of pulp bLasts at Woundwort and places the weapon on his shoulder, since we're using terrible B-Movie references it's time for a terrible quote

"If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[sachmo]

May I have a turkey sandwich and some pretzels, please?

[David E. Gervais]

"Lunch Break!"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

Strides back into the room,
Hey, Thanks for the massage, nice I needed that.
Don't worrry I tipped her.

Walks over to bar orders Harpoon IPA
Sits down with Mac.
Asks for truce

[General Woundwort]

"Whooooa!!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Woundwort ducks just in time as the speeding spheroid of salsa shoots towards him...

over his head...

and connects squarely on David E. G. and his doting crew of FBW R.N.s.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Really ought to watch your aim there, RD."

Woundwort punches a few buttons on his wrist computer, summoning a large contraption vaguely resembling a WWII anti-aircraft gun - but loaded with lemon merangue pies instead of AA shells.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!"

Jumping into the control seat, Woundwort switches the gun to autofire, aims, and sends RD reeling into the kitchen area with a rapidfire stream of fresh pies to the face.

[Raging Deadstar]

"Now that was Low!!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

RD comes running back out with an oven door as a shield and a jam tart firing bazooka and proceeds to fire back, it is one of the first food fights on this scale in the cantina yet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Edit: Ahem! RD, you should know that the FBW's 'Special medical treatment' will be much more distracting than the popcorn. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Thanks! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Yeah, but this way you won't get injured http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Well, As long as you don't take any tips from Gryphin about certain positions and wagons. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

Well.......ok. Truce.

Hopping into a bar seat, Renegade looks at the mess around him, hoping for some way to get into this newest fight...come on someone, drag me into this somehow!

[General Woundwort]

"Your wish is my command!"

Wiping the mess from the front of the windshield [RD's attempt to jam my machine has failed - give ME the raspberry will you!?!], Woundwort swings the targeting crosshairs on R13 and cuts loose a burst of lemon merangue projectiles, hurtling him over the bar and into the liquor rack.

"Now, where was I? Ah yes..."

Woundwort tosses a clip of fresh key lime pies into the hopper and lays down suppressive fire on RD and his raspberry bazooka.

[ June 24, 2004, 01:12: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Rasorow]

Watchs the pies flying everywhere while realizing that he hasnt eaten yet.

Deftly Rasorow reaches out a snags a flying pie in a feat of fantastic and unbelieveable dexterity (given the velocity of the pie).

"Thanks General!"

Looking at his pie, Rasorow pauses to consider if he has the right wine for a lemon merangue pie.

Rasorow

[mac5732]

The crotchey old one, smiles at "The Gryphin", puts out his hand and agrees to a truce. "Hey Gryphin, you old pizza swiper, hows about we mosey over and grab some of that popcorn before it gets full of pie filling?" He then ducks as a pie followed by a gob of jam goes flying by the table. Man is GT going to be upset with this mess he laughs, He yells for the Taz to bring him and The Gryphin a brewski... Then sits back and watches the undescribable acts the FBW's are performing on poor old DEG... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif It looks like his mouse hand is going to get plenty of excersise over there he mumbles, again ducking a wad of jam followed by a pie... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

Shaking his ringing head, Renegade licks his face and smile with delight as he tastes meringue.

"I sure do love food fights!"

Leaping onto the bar, Renegade grabs bottle after bottle of expensive liquor. Hoisting one in each hand, one opened, one sealed, Renegade takes a swig from the open bottle, then hurls the sealed bottle at the maniacally laughing Woundwort. Taking another bottle, and another drink, Renegade continues hurling bottles of priceless liquor into all corners of the bar.

"Whoops, sorry David, didn't mean to smack you in the face with that bottle. Oooo, you might wanna open that one, it looks like its a good year! Oh yeah, and remember to duck next time!!"

[Gryphin]

Watches as Renegades tab starts to run into more didgits than I can count.

Man is Mr Tigs gonna have a good time extracting the bill from his hide.

Psst, Mac, what does Renegade own? I think I'm in charge when the kats away.

[David E. Gervais]

..I knew this would happen,.. The FBW's have drained the life out of David while giving him their 'Special Treatment' Just before David passed out he was heard saying, "Well, my mouse hands is good as new, in fact it feels even better than that." Unfortunately the 'rest' of his now misshapen body has suffered a terrible blow and will take awhile to fully recover. But as long as we can prop him up in front of his computer he'll be ok, after all his mouse hand is "Better than Ever!"

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ June 24, 2004, 09:49: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Raging Deadstar]

As RD hides under his oven door sheild he looks at Renegade...

"Oh Boy, I thought i was in trouble when i started that revoloution...But he has just went and done it!"

RD quickly fires the Last of his jam tarts at Woundwort and backs slowly into the kitchen while avoiding the suppresion fire. He rolls back out firing cheesecake at Woundwort and calling for back up, the skylight of the cantina opens and fighters fly past carpet bombing the cantina, specifically Woundwort, with exploding lemons. Spraying the entire area with stinging citric acid. A voice comes over RD's radio...

"100% Accuracy achieved Sir, every bomb hit the floor!!!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[General Woundwort]

"What a sourpuss..."

Bailing out of the citrus-drenched pie cannon, Woundwort opens a channel to the old Starfury Cantina.

"Hey Sancho... initiate contingency plan Deadstar Omega - the Steve Irwin option."

A space-time trapdoor opens underneath RD's feet, sucking him through the multiverse to one of the myriad underground levels of the old Phong's Head cantina (now closed to the public) - and into a large saltwater tank.

The tank, of course, is filled with hungry lemon sharks.

Woundwort towels off as he watches RD tread water in the center of an ever-decreasing circle of hungry squallids on an LED screen on his wrist computer.

"Well, as the old saying goes, if life sends you lemons, make lemonade..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

ahh nice one Woundwort...

Feeling rather unlucky at this turn of events he searches his pockets again. Finding what he needed RD pulls out an inflatable alligator and blows it up, throws it into the water and watches as steve irwin dives for it, seems he was waiting in the wings. The lemon sharks see the dam Australian and lunge for him. Raging Deadstar heroically pulls out a gun with grappling hook (it has to be done) and lifts himself back to the cantina level landing and sliding an ACME black hole under Woundworts feet and watches him plummet further into the bowels of the cantina...what he will return with is Unknown.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Since I'm feeling Jolly, and if any drink is left before Renegade destroys it all a round is on my tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ June 24, 2004, 16:42: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[mac5732]

Gryphin, I think he owns some very nasty weapon systems http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif You will have to take charge as I'm off to Origins for the weekend and won't be back on line until later Sat nite or Sunday (leaving Fri morning)....

Mac yells at the Taz clone (since the real one is apparently missing in action http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) and has him cook up a special Pizza just for Gryphin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif , oh and put it on RD and Renegade's Tabs http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ June 24, 2004, 19:22: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Raging Deadstar]

I suggest Renegades *points suggestively* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

I just offered everyone a round of drinks on my tab lol http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

"Ah sure, put it on my tab...after all, I've already got that HUGE amount of liquor on my tab..."

Suddenly Renegade realizes that HE will be the one the bar owners come after when they look for payment for all the smashed liquor...

Hopping lightly off the bar, Renegade slowly backs up, and melts into the shadows in a dark corner of the building, leaving Woundwort in the center of a massive pile of smashed bottles

"I've never seen anything like it! He just started smashing bottles like there was no tomorrow!"

If all else fails, blame someone else! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:
"Ah sure, put it on my tab...after all, I've already got that HUGE amount of liquor on my tab..."

Suddenly Renegade realizes that HE will be the one the bar owners come after when they look for payment for all the smashed liquor...

Hopping lightly off the bar, Renegade slowly backs up, and melts into the shadows in a dark corner of the building, leaving Woundwort in the center of a massive pile of smashed bottles

"I've never seen anything like it! He just started smashing bottles like there was no tomorrow!"

If all else fails, blame someone else! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Jealously from his failed cantina aye? well you have an accusation now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif How will woundwort react to this slanderous affair? How will GT react to this profit losing afair? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Saxon]

Are you still exploiting my FBW? They were offered as a short term export from my empire to cover my bar tab and that deal ended long ago. I need them back immediately, they are a vital trade good as well as a vital component of my race. How else do you think my empire’s population grows like rabbits?

I am jumping straight back on my time machine and heading back to my Dominions world and expect to have my FBW there by the time I arrive.

Oh, and since Mac is away for the weekend, drinks are on him.

[mac5732]

SAXON.. you old Gnu smoocher, good to see you back on the forum... even if you are trying to run my tab up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ( the old one walks over to the pie dispenser, puts in his credits, takes out 2 lemon cream pies and lets fly at Saxon, Just to make him feel welcome and at home http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

see post in origins pics and origins

[Raging Deadstar]

It's taken me 2 years almost, and a lot of hard work on my buttocks part but i thought i'd grace this place with my 1000th post, i'm pretty sure my first post was in here all those Violent days ago so raise your glasses folks. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

The Major demands it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ June 28, 2004, 21:37: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[mac5732]

The old one raises his brewski in salute, and just to be sure RD feels at home, walks over to the pie dispenser, puts in some credits, takes out 3 cream pies, walks over to RD smiling and lets fly.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

RD smiles, knowing full well the retribution he was going to get and dodges, the Pie in almost bullet time movement flies past his shoulder and hits renegade in the face

Haven't you ntoiced how everything is so less violent without GT around. We're using pies and when he returns he brings out weapons of mass torture! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Anger Management Therapy perhaps....

Runs into the Kitchen and comes running out with a Hose, spraying everyone in sight with cold, wet (you were expecting dry water http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ) water!

Nothing worse than being sprayed with freezing water by a guy with a big grin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Having anticipated something like this, I had all my clothes coated with dry-ice powder. When the spraying water finally got to me and I got all wet,.. well, now there is a steady stream of fog rolling down off my body. Hey this really is 'Cool' (pardon the pun) Now if I could only get my eyes to glow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Q: Is attaining the 1000+ post mark the equivalent of 'Knighthood'? If so, welcome to our round table RD.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Having anticipated something like this, I had all my clothes coated with dry-ice powder. When the spraying water finally got to me and I got all wet,.. well, now there is a steady stream of fog rolling down off my body. Hey this really is 'Cool' (pardon the pun) Now if I could only get my eyes to glow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Q: Is attaining the 1000+ post mark the equivalent of 'Knighthood'? If so, welcome to our round table RD. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I believe it is more a Requirement for the "Shrapnel Sad geezers who post way too much" Category. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Having said that Mac sure wouldn't mind the Chainmail lady from the Origins Photo threads to be on our round table, would ya Mac? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mac5732]

The wize one, (holding and umbrella and attired in a full raincoat), has researched the likely hood of a gender of the feminine species being among those honorable and virtuous ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ) knights of old at the renown roundtable. After exhaustive study, research, and reading, I have determined that other then some camp following bimbos, none were found to have partaken in the bloody meham of that fine body of warriors. However, after close scruteny, I must profess that if the knights of old had seen the chainmail fox, they would have assuredly invited her to join their most prestigious company. So with that being said, I must profer that the young filly in question be enshrined within the roundtable of the cantina in all her glory. Her full length photo in a large glossy, should be hung over the bar within these fine precepts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif .

Having put forth his formulated answer, walks over to his table, reaches down and pulls a hidden lever underneathe. Immediatly there is a loud rumbling, the roof open and drops hundreds of rotted "O....." on top of RD engulfing him in a blitz of crying wonder http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ June 29, 2004, 16:45: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by mac5732:
Having put forth his formulated answer, walks over to his table, reaches down and pulls a hidden lever underneathe. Immediatly there is a loud rumbling, the roof open and drops hundreds of rotted "O....." on top of RD engulfing him in a blitz of crying wonder http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Mac, after that reply i'm crying with laughter already http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The question is would Mac prefer Liz Hurly in that dress? A deep ponderous question for the old wise one i must say http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[mac5732]

AAAHh, A most profisdious question, in regards to the most venerable Liz Hurly vs ChainMail fox. In reality there is no doubt within these old bones, that Liz Hurley would still be rated #1. In fact if one looks behind the cantina bar, they would notice a very large glassy photo of LH in her red suit that she wore in bedazzeled hanging in the place of honor. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif However, there is plenty of room to render the chainmail fox's pic upon the walls of the photos of honor on that long and far reaching wall. In fact the Taz has kept the area well groomed for just these types of situations..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Glances at the very well groomed area of wall reserved for such areas

It looks rather bare, I think the Cantina needs a makeover http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I'm sure the very *ahem* academic brains of this fine establishment could conjure something up. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

I wonder if the "Chainmail Fox" knows the fan club she's inspiring http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

Looking at the wall of honor, the old one also has Taz hang up Brittney Spears, Janet Jackson, Shawnia Twain and GT's Miss Kyle... There not bad, this place starting to look better already..

Any member who would like to hang a pic on the wall of honor may feel free to do so....

[Saxon]

Mac,

I will have you know that I have given up kissing gnu’s, which is why I came back to get my FBW. I arrive and find you are dressing them all in chain mail! Of course, this is a sensible safety precaution, given all the dangerous activities which go on in this place, but I am guessing that is not the reason you suggested the dress code.

Do we still have a T-Rex parking cars and space ships outside? Does he have to wear chain mail as well? You should check your research on that one, I suspect he is more of a Plate Mail kind of guy. Particularly if it is a Mailman on a Plate.

The other reason I dropped in is that I knew I could put a beer on your tab, but since you insist, I will take two.

[mac5732]

Saxon its good to see you back http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif PS. did you get my Last 2 emails?

In regards to the ChainMail fox, Tks to good old Geo, He has found that she has her own websight with even more photos of her anatamy. Go to Origin Pics thread and Geo has her link listed. Also, Letcherous David E. G. has sent her an email with the photo we have and invited her to drop in here at the forum.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Maybe we can get her to drop in here at the cantina for a brewski or two.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I wonder if she'd like to be one of our FBW?

and yes there still is the T-Rex parking lot attendent, however he has been quiet of late, (probably still digesting the Last patron who didn't pay his tab) Just ask the Ol Gryphin

[ June 30, 2004, 16:51: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[mac5732]

attention members of the cantina. The chailmail lady has posted in the origin pic thread, please drop in there and welcome her to our forum and her fan club.... Make her feel at home....

[Growltigger]

You are all weird, messy and obviously retarded

[Growltigger]

Yoiks, I have just seen the pictures of the real life Mac - he is really is the depraved old shindle shanked tosspot we always imagined him to be.

And Geo, I cannot beleive I saw a picture of Geo, it is great, he is all the man I expected him to be.

Mac though does look like a dirty old man!!

Who is this chain mail girl?

[Gryphin]

And the Kat does not even congradulate me. Sheesh

[Growltigger]

Sorry Gryph, havn't read all the Posts, congratulations to you indeed.

What am I congratulating you for by the way?

[Power Man]

A large cargo shuttle settles down behind the Bar & Grill. The loading bay opens and a veritable army of blue cargo droids carring large boxes, crates, and kegs file out and into the back of the Bar. From inside we hear "Alright you Droids, Get your motivators in Gear! I want this shuttle unloaded ASAP. We still have three more trips to make."

From the Shuttle strides Power Man ( TA DA!!! ).

Entering the Bar he shouts "HI EVERY ONE. (Yes even you GT.) I am back. I stopped by the Fart Point Station and loaded up on all sorts of stuff. I read about all of the recent breakage and thought you might need a restock.
I have all sorts of beers and ales, from that dark, thick, warm sludge that is drunk in the Isles to the thin, pale, watery cold stuff drunk in the colonies. I have a selection of wines and other spirits too.
For the Star Trek Mod folks I have Romulan Ale, Klingon Blood Wine, and "Something Green".
I have fresh Tribble wings with over 31 famous toppings.
I think I even got some more pies for the vending machine.

For today only the Drinks Are On MY Tab." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Why all the Free Booze??
I am celebrating reaching the One Trillion Population mark in my vast empire. I have also just built and colonized my fifth Sphere world.

Peace and Prosperity Through Out All Your Worlds!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
(At least till my Attack Fleets are ready. Hee Hee.) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Looking at the Wall Of Honor I would like to add my full size poster of 7 of Nine form Voyager. She is in a very uplifting and tight fitting uniform. Underneath in Borg Type are the words "ASSIMULATE THIS !"

[Gryphin]

I asked Pooh Star to marry me and she said "Yes I will"

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Yoiks, I have just seen the pictures of the real life Mac - he is really is the depraved old shindle shanked tosspot we always imagined him to be.

And Geo, I cannot beleive I saw a picture of Geo, it is great, he is all the man I expected him to be.

Mac though does look like a dirty old man!!

Who is this chain mail girl? <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=011980

All will be revealed upon reading this thread http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

Gryphin, congratulations indeed, but may be your furry fellah on your lip has spread to your ears (or your stetson was too low), as surely pooh star said "not liklely" rather than "yes I will". You may want to double check.

Power Man, nice one me old son. Always nice to see some generousity from a patron.

Mac, you really are a dirty old man - I am so cheered up, I always had this lingering doubt that you may actually be a 24 year old nerd pretending to be a shindle shanked old lecherous goat - my faith in humantity is restored.

Raging Deadstar, checked out the thread. I am see that you lot are fixated by this quite attractive young lady who appears to go to conventions dressed in metalware. OK, that's about normal for this cantina, but can I just say, that the chainmail does compliment her, ahem, behind quite magnificently. I wonder if I can persuade the current Mrs GT to give it a whirl!

Righto, in my absence, we seemed to have a huge food fight which I am sorry I missed, although looking at some of the comments, people are more pleased that I was not there as I would have apparently reverted to type and introduced extreme violence. That's not me anymore, the most I would do now is introduce some extreme ironing!!

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Righto, in my absence, we seemed to have a huge food fight which I am sorry I missed, although looking at some of the comments, people are more pleased that I was not there as I would have apparently reverted to type and introduced extreme violence. That's not me anymore, the most I would do now is introduce some extreme ironing!! <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Not at all, your Violent tendencies only add to the cantinas history http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif I was just thinking that the food fights weapons of choice were slightly tamer than usual (I'm still smarting from the defeat of my revolution http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif )

Of course Renegade has just went and destroyed most of the cantinas stockpiles of brewski and other alcoholic beverages, until we were wonderfully saved by Powerman. I guess it might be time to return to type http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ July 02, 2004, 15:31: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

Raging Deadstar, nah, I have consigned the red hot poker hand cannon of doom to the wheelibin of despair.

I am a reformed character, a kind gentle and loving person.

I kiss flowers now

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Raging Deadstar, nah, I have consigned the red hot poker hand cannon of doom to the wheelibin of despair.

I am a reformed character, a kind gentle and loving person.

I kiss flowers now <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Ok...what foul treachery has befallen our great patron of cantinas and cartoon violence??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[ July 02, 2004, 17:02: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[mac5732]

WHAT.... Renegade destroyed our stockpile of BREWSKIS?????? The old one slowly gets up from his chair, opens up his wonderous box of new highly powered weapons of mass destruction, starts going thru them to see which one fits the penalty for destroying Brewskis... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

GT you old furry feline... Of course I'm an older more debonaire, suave, kindly, loving, sexy genteelman of many traits.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (I also take lousy photos http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif )I'm cuter in person http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

we have put a photo of the chainmail lady up over the bar along with other delicious eye booggling anatamies including your Miss Kyle http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ..

[mac5732]

the wize one, takes out his new handy dandy, parable bLasting, shrinking x-ray rifle, aims at Renegade, and ZAP, Renegade is shrunken down to only 4 inches tall with a pot belly http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

From his new height of a mere 4 inches, Renegade stares up at the multitude of faces peering down at him. Refusing to be humiliated in such a fasion, he pulls a miniature pick axe out of his...er...handy pocket of useful thingys. Running at a swift 5 inches per second, Renegade launches himself at Mac's unprotected, bare feet, and procedes to lay into the hairy toes with the razor sharp pick.

"Miniaturize me will you!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif "

[Raging Deadstar]

I accept No responsibility the lecherous turn of events this thread may take in the next few Posts http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ July 08, 2004, 13:11: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[mac5732]

The wize one, taken aback by the pin prick attacks on his toes (they are not hairy, er at least the Last time I looked http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ) looks down at the shrunken anatamy with the pot belly beneathe him and as he lifts his one foot high over the small creatures features, he notices the small round one looking up at some of the passing FBW's with a very strange and weird look within his being, now I wonder what he's doing now, the old one mutters as be begins to lower his foot over the little one http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

Tearing his eyes away from the...spectacle...above him, Renegade notices a shadow falling over him...

Seeing a nasty foot descending on him at high velocity, Renegade slips into a crack in the floor of the bar. As the foot slams down on the spot where he was just a second ago, Renegade breathes a sigh of relief. Squirming along the crack, he slips unnoticed under a table, and pops out of the crack....safe, for now.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:
Squirming along the crack, he slips unnoticed under a table, and pops out of the crack....safe, for now. <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">A crack big enough for a 4 inch man to walk? This place is falling apart. Unless of course that was the crack of the patron who is passed out on the floor over there. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Renegade 13]

Oh sh*t!! I was wondering why this crack was so hairy!! Eeeewwwww http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:
From his new height of a mere 4 inches..<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I Have one Question...Are the FBW's wearing skirts? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Originally posted by Renegade 13:
From his new height of a mere 4 inches..<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I Have one Question...Are the FBW's wearing skirts? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">The answer is Yes! Which leads us to ask Renegade another question that he can answer thanks to his new 'vantage piont'... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif LOL

(Sorry, are we getting too naughty now? LOL )

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Oh boy...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Raging Deadstar promptly orders a drink of the highest alcoholic quality (a Pan Galactic Gargle BLaster anyone?) in a extra large sized glass and pours it over the diminutive Renegade.

It will either drown him or Knock him out cold. Either way it's for his own safety. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif No-one needs to remember that! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Q: Who is the Unconcious patron on the floor http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

Shaking his tiny head woozily, Renegade stumbles to his feet.

"Wha...What happened? Last thing I remember was stabbing Mac in the foot, and then here I am, next to an unconscious (and naked http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ) body. Please, dont' tell me, I don't want to know."

"Hey, can anybody help me out with the size issue here??"

[Gryphin]

/hopes Renegade 13
does not read the previous Posts.

[mac5732]

As the old one starts to put his foot down, he hesitates, hmmmm, he puts his it down away from Renegade, Hmmmm.. we walks over to the kitchen, comes back out with some live tribbles, puts them down next to Renegade, there now my pretties, LUNCH........ http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Renegade 13]

Sorry Mac, Tribbles love me (and not as a food source http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) Can't you hear him/her/it making that purring type noise from where you are?? So I guess that answers the question about being part Klingon...although I may act like it sometimes, nope, I'm not. Anyways, why am I still 4 inches tall?? No one has helped me out in that department yet...seems everyone's too busy laughing at the sight of a 4 inch tall, potbellied person http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:
...seems everyone's too busy laughing at the sight of a 4 inch tall, potbellied person http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">It's better than Reality Television http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Renegade 13:
seems everyone's too busy laughing at the sight of a 4 inch tall, potbellied person http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Question on that, were you shrunk to 4 inches tall while weighing the same as before? Because if you were the average weight 140-160 for a 17 year old and you kept that weight but shrunk down to 4 inches tall then my goodness that would definitely be a pot belly. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Ragnarok:
average weight 140-160 for a 17 year old<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Lol is that KG's??? I hope not!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Considering I Weigh only 55kg's at the moment i'm feeling very sub average...

[ July 12, 2004, 18:52: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Alneyan]

That would probably be pounds (between 64 and 73 kilos then). Still, 65 or 70 kgs is quite a lot for someone only four inches tall. And you shouldn't eat too much Renegade either, just in case.

But I guess you will find a very nice person after all. They might even change your height to... say, four inches and a half? Or even five inches? That would certainly be better, wouldn't it? *Quietly goes back to his lurking spot before anything befalls on him*

[Raging Deadstar]

Renegade has been shrunk down to 4 inches correct? If we can shrink him down to 1 inch and hire him out as a detective we could possibly make money here http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Originally posted by Ragnarok:
average weight 140-160 for a 17 year old<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Lol is that KG's??? I hope not!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Considering I Weigh only 55kg's at the moment i'm feeling very sub average... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Yeah, us americans and our non-metric systems... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Gryphin]

/Wonders if Renegade is part Klingon. Guess we will know soon enough.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
Renegade has been shrunk down to 4 inches correct? If we can shrink him down to 1 inch and hire him out as a detective we could possibly make money here http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif <font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">If he shrinks even more while weighing the same, his body will be so dense that all the matter in his body will collapse into itself, forming a mini black hole.

[mac5732]

as the wize one contemplates the various constants concerning the demise of Renegade and his height, he takes remorse on the little munchkin and pulls out his new transmorgafier. He flips the 2nd switch and WHAM... he looks around for Renegade,... EGADS.. he yells, I hit the wrong button by mistake http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif , He now notices that Renegade has not been reformed to his normal self, but instead has been not only shrunken down to 3 inches and a potbelly, but now has also become bald and it appears that a symbiote wooly bear has crawled up onto his upper lip's anatamy.. In fact... it couldn't be, no, no, not 2 of them.. its not fair.... he's, he's starting to look like a 2nd Gryphin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

[Renegade 13]

Hey Mac, hit me with that again! I wanna be 1 inch tall, and take RD's suggestions and become a detective! Thankfully, my weight has also been shrunk, down from my regular 160 pounds. I am now a slim 10 pounds...I know, I know, I'm kinda fat right now. Will somebody buy me a mini treadmill??

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar takes pity on his fellow 17 year old and pulls out some various deadly equipment and decides to do a Macguyver.

"Now if i rewire this Gravitational Hellbore with those drink straws, power it with the left over tribbles and chilli sauce and use the numerous protection fields surrounding the Cantina and channel them through said Hellbore we could make Renegade back to his normal size..."

RD Thinks for a second...

"Or we'll scatter his atoms over an extreme distance!"

RD presses the button and hopes for the best. There's a large bang followed by a distorted field of vision materialising into a normal sized Renegade

"Oh, and there's the now 7ft tall Ant that got zapped and is behind you" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Growltigger]

GT meanwhile, is blissfully unaware of all the size altering shenagigans going on in the corner, as he sits at a quiet table enahling the magnificent odour of some cedronella citrensis and ocimum basilcum genovese..

Chaps, keep it quiet, a reformed homocidal lunatic is trying to enjoy the pleasures of the country over here!

And to answer your question, of course the FBW's wear undergarments. This is a refined place here, no yelling "girls, get your, ahem, puppies out for the lads" allowed in this venue.

At a push, your might be able to yell "Ladies, please release your decolletages from their corsetry for the delectation of the gentlemen here present" but that is your lot.

Note to self, new uniform for the FBW's, neck to ankles, heavy weight hessian cloth, wimples and chastity belts.

[Renegade 13]

Ah, now that's better. Oh, and dont' worry about the ant. He's kind of my pet now. We got acquainted during my time as a 4 inch man. He's now my bodyguard/pet/trained killer...so be careful; those mandibles are sharp!

[Gryphin]

Renegade, what's his name.
< sprinkles a few sugar cubes on the floor >

[Renegade 13]

Well...he doesn't really have one yet. I just call him Ant. But if anyone has a better name for him, go ahead and let me know http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Taz-in-Space]

...from behind the bar, a noise rises in loudness from nearly unnoticable to overpowering ear-numbing roar...

- at it's pinnacle, a trap-door slams open and a minature whirlwind rises up and suddenly collapses into a brown haired, toothy form known as TAZ.

Hmmm, Mac, GT, Gryphin, RD, Renegade, 7 Ft Ant, Kamog, Ragnorok,
> 7 FOOT ANT! <

Taz eyes the small ant traps behind the bar doubtfully as he studies this beast.
He notices that the ant follows Renegade around and comes to a decision.

After a brief flurry of activity, Taz hands Renegade a leash and collar and says: OK, your pet is allowed - but you are responsible for him! Absolutely no more than one customer eaten per week and you clean up any, err, MESSES he leaves!!

And may I suggest you name him 'Uncle'.

That taken care of, Taz proceeds to restock the bar with the supplies he carried in from that maze of storerooms under the bar.

[tesco samoa]

http://www.flacserver.com/cowbell.mpg

Mac this for you.... The cow bell

[mac5732]

the old eyes look at the seemingly non violent gift from the Old Snake (tesco) hmm, he looks over at tesco, reaches for his transmorgafier, points and shoots, POW... oh oh, instead of shrinking Tesco, he again hit the wrong switch (have to put his glasses on next time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ) and the Old Snake has been transformed into a hocky puck. Oh well, comments the wize one as he takes aim at the new puck on the floor, he transmorgafies his umbrella into a hockey stick, aims for the table where GT is quietly sitting, eating his curds and way... and kaploooieee, off shoots the new Tesco.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[mac5732]

Hey everyone, step up to the bar, Drinks are on the old snake Tesco and Rags to celebrate their birthdays... Taz fill up the glasses, may they both enjoy their special day, (Sorry I missed your B-Day post earlier Rags) have the FBW's oodle around them and fawn over their every wish for the day.

Oh ya, and don't try to sell them any greying reducer or hair fallout protection. They're beyond that now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

ps. put the bill on Gryphin's & Gt's tab, http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ July 19, 2004, 16:12: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[mac5732]

Bump

can't let the old bar and grill get covered with cob webs.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Polishes the Bar and grill

This Bump is brought to you by Patrons of the Cantina.

Bumping for a better tomorrow http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

I wonder what renegade has done with that ant....

*RD Picks up two rather large kebab skewers, puts on traditional english african game hunting hat and goes on a hunt, complete with oversized elephant gun.*

[Renegade 13]

Well, unfortunately, he started eating the wood of the bar here...and as you can imagine, a 7 foot ant can eat a LOT of wood! I had to give him away http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

*Considers putting the hunting equipment away*

Oh well...Wait, what is that?

*RD spies the sleeping form of one of the customers...Looks like mac fell asleep waiting http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif . RD Loads some rather unpleasent food from the kitchens, loads the rifle and waits patiently behind a fort of overturned tables http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

the old one fains sleep as he watches the shenanigans inside the pub, he notices a figure trying to hide with what appears to be some type of weapon.... hmmmm he whispers as he non chalontly fingers his miniture rabble rousing defumagating shrinking ray beam

[Growltigger]

Doh, I really must have not drunk enough recently, or maybe too much, people in the cantina are talking about 7 foot ants, and also it doesn't half look funny....

you go away for a couple of weeks, and look what happens! <font color="blue"> </font>

[Raging Deadstar]

Doh, I really must have not drunk enough recently, or maybe too much, people in the cantina are talking about 7 foot ants, and also it doesn't half look funny....

you go away for a couple of weeks, and look what happens!



I thought our respectable, no longer concerned with debauchery and raucous behavior, patron of the cantina had given up wild nights? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Renegade 13]

you go away for a couple of weeks, and look what happens! <font color="blue"> </font>


Couple weeks, hah! Its been more like a couple months with nary a peep!

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar, still in his traditional 1900's eccentric hunters gear, stands up, levels his elephant gun, takes aim and with a quick swift spin targets renegade and fires!*

BooommmmmmSpleeuggh

Renegade is now covered in some undescribable (but i'll try anyway) green mulsh that looks derived from tribbles, sprouts and numerous other veggies* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

We need a good old fashioned cantina event...I'm sure we had a greek night at one point... Any Suggestions anyone? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[mac5732]

how about a wet T-shirt contest http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif all FBW, celebreties and chain mail persons wanted. We shall wet their torso, for purely scientific research of course, shall study the various possiblities of one's anatamy in the name of science.

[Renegade 13]

Renegade, covered in the indescribably putrid mess of Tribble, and assorted veggies, stumbles over to the nearest corner, and proceeds to puke his guts out.

"Ugh, I usually only do that after a long night drinking!"

Launching himself behind the bar, Renegade closes his hands upon his newly procured weapon. Cradling the innocent looking device in his hands, he leaps to his feet, aims quickly at RD, and fires.

As the projectile launches itself towards Raging Deadstar, it begins to unfurl, showing for a split second its horrible nature.

Before RD even has time to scream, he is covered in a particularily nasty mixture of purplish goo, consisting of blended cockroach parts, haggis, and cattle intestines.

Sure hope that didn't hit anyone else! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

how about a wet T-shirt contest http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif all FBW, celebreties and chain mail persons wanted. We shall wet their torso, for purely scientific research of course, shall study the various possiblities of one's anatamy in the name of science.




We might have to clear it with the boss first. He seems to have been "corrupted" by some Puritan order. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

*RD grins at Renegade and runs for the kitchen. From the slightly ajar doorway sounds of blending, saws, welding, screams and other horrible and dramatic noises and the doorway is illuminated by more welding effects and flames from inside the room*

*There is a sound, like nails on a chalkbaord as he pushes a large metal object to the door, an oven, ducks behind it and hits the Ignite button, there is a rumble as the inside of the oven is full of gas...*

*A big cartoon, batman style, effect word appears on screen* Fwwwwwwwoooom

*RD peeks over to see the grotesque mess of curry, used mongoose, entrails and other intestinal pieces from barry's lunch box, the body parts of remaining tax collectors and health inspectors and some disgusting green slop is forced out of the oven in one huge explosion and directly lands itself on Renegade.*

Mac: Lol, is Wet T-Shirt really a theme night? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/confused.gif How about a Viking theme night http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif We can try and get the newly promoted Major Primitive back here and maybe rollo too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Two words, usually not entirely seperate either. Dogscoff and Valkyries http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Mac, I ca suggest something even better than a wet T-Shirt contest,...

Jello Wrestling Woohooo! I can see the FBW's allready. (mmmmm, Lunch!) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Ragnarok]

How about Jello Wrestling in wet t-shirts?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Mac, I ca suggest something even better than a wet T-Shirt contest,...

Jello Wrestling Woohooo! I can see the FBW's allready. (mmmmm, Lunch!) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif



"I have heard of a place where humans do battle in a ring of jello."

"Call Daniel!"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[mac5732]

hmmmm, Wet T-Shirt in Jello Wrestling? Well now, I'm all for it, FBWs, Liz Hurley, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, GT's Miss Kyle, The Gryphin , Pamala Anderson, Chain Mail Lady, oh so many to invite http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

hmmmm, Wet T-Shirt in Jello Wrestling? Well now, I'm all for it, FBWs, Liz Hurley, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, GT's Miss Kyle, The Gryphin , Pamala Anderson, Chain Mail Lady, oh so many to invite http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif



Mac...the rumours are true...you are a crotchey old geezer http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Renegade 13]

Picking bits of assorted entrails from his body, Renegade licks his lips appreciately. Mmmmm, good stuff!

Grabbing the nearest patron by the shirt (who just happens to be David E. Gervais), Renegade uses him as a shield from any further projectiles. Good thing too, as David absorbs another bLast of nastiness intended for Renegade! Letting go of the now drippy and very smelly David, Renegade launches himself bodily at RD.

Pinning his squirming body to the ground, Renegade grabs the nearest pointy object.

"No...that wouldn't be right...can't do that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif )

Instead of the pointy object, Renegade spots an old, moldy lemon meringue pie, and (with great relish) smears the entire nasty mess into RD's sweating face, covering it in a mixture of yellow meringue, and blueish-green fuzz.

"Hmm....good look there RD, the yellow with fuzz. Suits you! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )

[David E. Gervais]

Renegade 13, intent on his victem discards me and moves in for the final blow. Oblivious to his surroundings due to the extreme joy of the moment, he does not see or hear me walk slowly up behind him... <font color="#555555">(but he should have been able to smell me.)</font>

I pull out a spray can of 'Fast-Expanding, Quick-Drying' foam insulation. I aim the nozzel down Renegades pants and press down on the activation button.. (Phissssaaaaaa) Renegade's face wrinkles into an expression of shock and awe. While his tiny brain calculates the impending 'expansion' I pull off my now slimy, smelly, ooze dripping fowl-smelling shirt and pull it over Renegade's head.

Renegade is overwhelmed with impending feelings and undescribably fowl odor. Instinctively he holds his breath, but as I walk out of the room to go shower I hear a massive gasp as Renegade is forced to breathe.

My, my, my now that was very uncharacteristic of me wans't it, LOL, Muahahahahaha

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[mac5732]

bump

[tesco samoa]

check out this dude

http://www.ibiblio.org/jmaynard/TRONcostume/

warning. warning

[DarkAnt]

thats wicked scary

[Kamog]

Wow, he put a lot of work into making that costume... /threads/images/Graemlins/Panda.gif

[mac5732]

Hey everyone, Old Man Richard has a birthday, lets all give him a rousing cheer and invite him in for a brew or two :0

[mac5732]

bumpty bump, have to keep the old place up and around in case someone wants to stop in for a brew or two...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[David E. Gervais]

99 bottles of http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif on the wall, 99 bottles of http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif. Take one down pass it around, 98 botles of http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif on the wall..

/threads/images/Graemlins/icon10.gif c + ( /threads/images/Graemlins/icon01.gif - kh ) m + ( /threads/images/Graemlins/Cake.gif - c ) a /threads/images/Graemlins/Barrel.gif ( - rel ) 4 u if u /threads/images/Graemlins/icon41.gif me a http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif or 2.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Challenge: Can any of you come up with a 'picto-phrase' using the Graemlins? Common, I dare you. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Gryphin]

Hello Folks, I hope you have all missed me.

I thought I would stop in to enjoy a brew on my 50th birthday.

A round of drinks for the whole joint. Put it on my buddies mac and the Cat.

Oh, some bad news:
Pooh Star left me.
"I'm a lot of fun to date but you don't want to live with me"

Oh well. It was fun living with a woman that was 1/2 Mrs Cleaver, (stereo type of 50s house wife), and Maddona.
Most men only dream of it. I lived it for 2 1/2 years. What is more, I survived!

[mac5732]

Well, Happy B-Day their you old Wooley Bear, good to see your still around http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif Sorry to hear about Pooh but it happens, so don't get down, plenty more out there, remember you found her, so just keep looking....

(the old one, looks around and forges GT's sig on all the tabs for the brews http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif )

the wize one sits back and enjoys his brew giving a toast to the Old Grypin ( PS your catching up to my age now LOL )

[Renegade 13]

Sorry to hear the bad news Gryphin. But I'm glad you're back! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

(Almost forgot, had to edit...Happy Birthday!! Have some /threads/images/Graemlins/Cake.gif and some http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif But stay away from the /threads/images/Graemlins/icon04.gif they're no good http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/stupid.gif

[General Woundwort]

David E. Gervais said:

/threads/images/Graemlins/icon10.gif c + ( /threads/images/Graemlins/icon01.gif - kh ) m + ( /threads/images/Graemlins/Cake.gif - c ) a /threads/images/Graemlins/Barrel.gif ( - rel ) 4 u if u /threads/images/Graemlins/icon41.gif me a http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/beerglass.gif or 2.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Challenge: Can any of you come up with a 'picto-phrase' using the Graemlins? Common, I dare you. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif



/threads/images/Graemlins/icon10.gif'm not d + ( /threads/images/Graemlins/icon05.gif -br ), just re- /threads/images/Graemlins/icon07.gif some things...

[mac5732]

bumpty bump, can't let the joint fall by the wayside http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Yes, let's not let this place fall into the abyss..

head's up,.. Flashback..

http://www.redshirtgames.com/2003genconbabe02thumbnai;.jpg
http://www.redshirtgames.com/2003genconbabe03thumbnail.jpg

Larger Versions of these two pics can be found on this web page (http://www.redshirtgames.com/gencon2003.htm) Enjoy!

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

David, you sure know who to spice up the place, oh wow, she is as hot as I remember..... oh ya.......

Taz needs to take his place back behind the bar, what good is going to the bar and only talking to a robot bar tender...

Where is the TAZ?????????

Brewskis all around you old bot you

[mac5732]

bump http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[David E. Gervais]

This thread is turning into a "Mac and Me" private bar. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Cheers buddy, I wonder how long the peace will Last. People are bound to get the urge to do cartoon violence sometime soon.

..maybe this thread needs a 'pic search' contest, do a google image search with one word only and post the link for all to view. (just keep it clean, and PG 13 rated and it should be fine..

Example I did a search for "Mac" amd found this..

http://www.digiserve.com/eescape/mac/humor/DT-Mac-Versions.jpg

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

ROFL http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif tks David you got it right. My old Nemisis, the "Essance", and me have had quite a go around over the yrs. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif and "IT" usually wins http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Flashback warning...

http://www.retrotv.com.br/jonnyquest/JonnyQuest_logo.gif

I wonder if they will eventually make a live action movie based on Jonny quest?

Oh well, time will tell.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

the old one takes a drink, the old place is starting to become a ghost establishment.... the old one thinks to himself, times are changing, for years the Ratings etc have been part of this place and now there are complaints of abuse... I guess all things change he mutters as he upends a brewski at the vacant bar,...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

A fragile old figure huddles up next to the bar and reveals himself from his robes. Raging Deadstar orders his usual non alcoholic beverage and stares in the polished oak. His face gaunt, unshaven and his hair a mangled mess by this point. He looks over to Mac.

"At least this place is a home away from home still. My Sister just hit puberty!"

RD shakes his head and shudders at the memories of the hormone infested house he escaped from...

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Renegade 13]

Oooo, RD, beware the estrogen! It's gonna get you! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

A huddled figure rises from the corner where he was enjoying the darkness, and taking the opportunity to sleep. Rubbing his eyes groggily, he squints his bleary eyes and gazes around the room. Noting the empty tables, and forlorn figures standing at the bar, Renegade stumbles up the the bar.

"I'll have a...um....something. I can't remember right now....just toss something my way, ok?"

[mac5732]

The wize one notices Renegade and RD, nods in their direction, and sends over severel brewskis, he then walks over to the juke box, picks out Pretty Woman, kicks the side of the box, walks back to his table and orders his usual, bacon, scrambled eggs, rye toast and hash browns and reminisis of the good old days and the fond memories of the bar fights, cartoon violence, GT chasing everyone with a hot poker riding on top of Rex, sigh, The Gryphin jumping out the window and landing in the rose bushes, The race of toilet demons that infest the bathroom.. and many more..... sigh... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif, The Mac, raises his brewski in the air, nods again at RD and Renegade and offers up a toast to the ghosts of the bar and grills of the past......

[Raging Deadstar]

Such Great Memories...

Bar Trek, The End of Previous Cantinas, the Revolution to get GT to come back, The Hunt of Primitive, The FBW's...

I swear one day this stuff could easily becomem a tv series, or at least a very graphic cartoon http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

A Toast, and If we can keep this thread near the top perhaps the old regualrs will return, or at least bring in some new bloo....patrons http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/stupid.gif

[mac5732]

So True my good RD, so true, A TOAST to all those who have gone before, during and after at this and all the other fine establishments over the past.

PS. anyone know how many Posts combined there were for all the cantinas over the yrs..... just thought it might be an interesting figure http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Wonder where GT has been, the place is quiet without the old furry feline and the mischievious Gryphin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Alneyan]

That place is too quiet; I can't even stay in the shadows anymore, while letting all the trouble pass by my unimportant person.

Oh, and please give me something. Say, water. I don't exactly trust whatever else might be prepared behind that curtain. Doesn't it smell like... I don't know... various problems falling on the head of an unwary customer? And that isn't only a metaphor either; various things are known to fall from above (sure, very little falls from below, but hey, you never know in a place as odd as that one), whose very name instills dread in the heart of the bravest. Many a gallant patron found the infamous "Killed by speaking aloud the One Word" as his epitath after all.

Looks like I have been rambling. Must be the place. A non-alcoholic, non-furry touched, non-demon envouted and non-hormone infested drink should be enough to take care of that ranting. *Eyes RD's own beverage, and threatens to trigger deadly force against its owner if there is no other suitable drink to be found in the whole place*

[Renegade 13]

I'll prepare your drink Alneyan http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Oh, and don't pay any attention to the flecks of mushrooms floating in your drink...I promise they're not TOO poisonous, and I guarantee that you'll be thinking this place is a little more active for the next little while. Just a few healthy hallucinations. I guarantee, the mushrooms are all natural, and generally very expensive. But for you (and just you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif ) I offer them for the special price of....FREE!

(***Everyone might wanna stay away from Alneyan for the next while....those mushrooms aren't the healthiest things in the world. Especially for mental health! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif ***)

[Kamog]

* Kamog walks in *

This place needs some Halloween re-decorating...

* Kamog brings several large pumpkins carved into scary Jack-o-lanterns and puts them down near the door and at the bar. He sets up some glow-in-the-dark skeletons and spooky ghosts on some of the empty seats, dims the lights and puts on some eeriee music. He places some large bowls full of candy and chocolates on some of the tables. *

[Raging Deadstar]

This Place lives http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

The somewhat serene and peaceful (not for long) enviroment has taken it's affect on RD as he recovers from the haunting perils of developing womenhood. He avoids the bowls Kamog has put down, Unsure whether it is a trick or treat...

Alneyan, I'm pretty sure the Beverages here are safe, probably one of the few thing's that are. Unless you ask for something that has any of the following words: "Garglebuster", "Arsenic", "Acme", "Budweiser" (The Cantina itself is apparently angered towards the drinking of such american beers) or "Hydrochloric Acid"...And don't try Taz's Special concoctions. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Alneyan]

A quick reality-check Renegade, if you will. Somehow, I do not quite trust your word, so:

1) We all know there is no such thing as "free". You are consequently lying, attempting to deceive me, trying to harm me in any way you can think of, et al. In other words, I'm afraid you are hiding something under your sleeve; either a trick or an actual "tool" best not mentioned.

2) We have demonstrated you are being crafty, cunning and sneaky. Since secrecy is only helpful if your intentions are not laudable, you are hereby declared as being charged with high treason, as this crime has such a cool sounding name. I mean, thinking of doing something is equivalent to doing it, and once you have done it once, nothing prevents you from doing it again, hence my accusation.

But enough chitchat. Your punishment shall be as follow: you are to suffer from your own tricks. *Waits for a while to build up the dramatic pressure, and to gloat as he is wont to do* Here, in the presence of all the honourable and respectable gentlemen (and some not so gentle, let alone honourable) and ladies (they are well hidden), witness the fate that befalls on villains!

*Throws the contents of the offending glass in Renegade's general direction, hoping to do some damage with the mush****s one way or another; smelling them or touching them might be enough to do the trick*

(I believe the word "mush****" is no longer the potent trigger of various baleful happenings, but you can never be too wary)

Now if someone would be so kind as to give me a mush****less, o****less glass of water? Or should I start distilling an alcoholic beverage to get something to drink, although almost, but not quite, entirely unlike water? Oh, or a tea will do well enough I guess, so long as nobody says "Share and Enjoy".

[tesco samoa]

i have not been here in a long time.

Crown Royal for me please.

Last time I was here I started a tomato fight with some lamma's

Anyways.

If you look at the list of threads on the number of views the classic one is sitting there right at the top.

[Renegade 13]

Well Alneyan, it's probably a good thing that you didn't drink that drink. But, no hard feelings ok? I wasn't REALLY trying to damage you in some way....honest.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Oh yeah, as a peace offering, here's another drink.

*Produces a clear liquid in a pretty cobalt blue glass*

Test it if you like, but trust me. It's quite....good.

Time to tempt fate....

MUSHROOMS! MUSHROOM! ONION! ONIONS!

*Waits for the reaction*

[Alneyan]

As soon as Renegade starts saying the Words, Alneyan dashes from his stool, and makes a run for the closest shelter. Or at least, he would have done so had he not hit a table pretty badly, that was conveniently placed just in his path. Too conveniently of course.

After a few curses and glowering intended at the rest of the patrons, Alneyan watches the spectacle offered by Renegade (quite involuntarily), and can only offer him his most sincere sympathy. "A good chap really; a bit of a trickster from time to time, but he did not deserve that. How horrible. And I have lost my drink in my rush. What a waste."

[David E. Gervais]

sitting at my regular table by the window with the fake rain running down it, I watch the exchange of drinks and think to myself,..

<font color="#FFFFFF"> hmmm, strange that he chose to hide the </font> <font color="#FFEE33"> 'Oderless, Colorless, and Tasteless'</font> <font color="#FFFFFF"> liquid in a cobalt blue glass. </font>

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar smiled slightly as a few of the spare o***** bounced off his personal deflector shield. In the old cantinas such thing's ceased to work, and usually were followed by certain nasty and explosive thing's that happened to their user, but this place hadn't been updated as such. He watches Alneyan get up and RD Turns to The Bartender...

*Sigh* "Buy the poor guy an untampered Non Alcoholic Drink of his choice, On Renegades Tab of course." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

RD orders a second apple juice drink and finishes his first

"Just Curious Alneyan, Do you not drink Alcohol or is it You just don't trust this establishment?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Alneyan]

At least, someone is being friendly in that cantina! Well, apparently friendly that is. A nice glass of water flavoured with anise should do the trick bartender. And don't pretend you don't have any, or else.

It is both RD. I would rather not touch anything looking like alcohol in this place, even with a long stick; healthy paranoia you know. And then, alcohol can have funny effects on your thought pattern and it wouldn't do to start raving about, breaking tables and saying the O word. See what happened to that Renegade, and you will get my point; can't say I want to try my luck at shouting not so random words in this place.

[Renegade 13]

As the horribly nasty o***** start splattering with horrid, putrid, slimy sounds all over his body, Renegade dives for cover underneath a table. Listening to he loud "splat" sounds emanating from above him, he sincerely hopes the wood the table is made from is strong enough to withstand this vicious onslaught!

Scraping the putrid mess from his now slimy body, Renegade takes aim, and tosses some of the nasty greasy goo at RD (hoping of course that he's gotten lazy and disabled his personal forceshield)

Finally, the pattering of o***** on the table slows and comes to a stop. Clambering out from under the table, patrons from all over the bar recoil in horror at the smell that now emanates from his body.

"I think I'd better go have a shower and scrape some of this off myself....see you in a bit. And you can bet I'll have a a little more respect for certain unmentionable words in the future!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[mac5732]

DID someone say the "O" word in here? Don't you know thats the worst thing you can do around here... for pete's sake, thats the one thing that can cause plenty of nasty things to happen, like fixing one's seeming non-alcoholic drink with something like, a colorless, orderless alcohole and making one feel sleepy when in reality he's just plain Loaded... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif


the old one dons his face mask and oxygen tank to breathe in fresth oxygen instead of the noxious odor coming from the direction of the bar from the "O" 's http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

[mac5732]

what is problem here, won't let me post

[Renegade 13]

Hmmm...well it sure looks like it let you post http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[mac5732]

the wize one sits back in his new upholstered, space age, reclinning chair at his table in the cornor of the cantina, and pushes a button on his new swingle swangle cliker for the jukebox, hits Duke of earl, reclines as a few of the FBW in their brand spanking new wet T-shirt bikinis administer a complete body massage. ahhhhhhhh ...http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif he sighs, now this is the life, "Tesco Eat your heart out" ..... He then proceeds to lift his fabulous body up and throws a few darts at the GT &amp; Gryphin Photo Dart Board .... DOUBLE BULLSEYE ..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/stupid.gif

[Atrocities]

Hey Mac, been a while. How are things?

[mac5732]

Hey AT, good to see you here, The old one calls over a LH FBW clone and orders a brewski for AT (puts in on Tesco's Tab) and a 5 course meal for AT, (he looks a little famished)

Been just lurking here on the forum, been playing Grigsby's War in the Pacific, one of the scenerios (after 3 tries it looks like I might finally win this one http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif ) Been putting in a lot of hrs at my part time job due to the season, usually only work 2-3 days a week, currently working 5-6 days. Who said being retired gives one all kinds of free time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif, I'm busier now then when I was working for a living http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif What you been up to, working on more mods, shipsets etc?

[David E. Gervais]

..After being caught in the event horizon of a black hole for what seems like too long, I wander into the old joint and see that there is a good 4 inches of dust on my usual table and chair,.. that's ok, it makes for a good cushion...

Hey all, just thought I'd tell you all that the renderings of the various 'Event' pics in SE5 is comming along fine. Just a little note.. While I'm in Bryce doing renderings (that often take a few hours) I am un able to multitask, and my MS Messenger does not notify me if anyone comes Online. While I would normally say hello, every now and then, While running bryce I can't. So, don't think I'm being rude if i miss saying hi, I'm working.

That's all I have to say, Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[mac5732]

bumpty bump, Have a brewski, pull up a chair, fratenize with the FBW in their new skimpier outfits, order some meyhem, cartoon violence or just chat about whatever...

[Puke]

The Last I remember of this place, a catastrophie of cartoonish porportions had destroyed the THIRD cantina, and our ghosts had all pitched tents in the netherworld to setup a makeshift shanty town. Subsequently, we collectively willed a new universe into existance and founted a new Cantina, but that was probably another two or three incarnations ago.

Whats been happening with this place since then? Its good to see some of the same old faces (avatars, anyway) about.

[Renegade 13]

*I hand Mac and Puke both a huge mug of good Canadian beer.*

[Kamog]

It's so quiet here at the Cantina... anything interesting happening? Is there going to be a New Year's party? /threads/images/Graemlins/Balloons.gif

[mac5732]

Ahhh, Good Idea Kamog

NEW YEAR EVE'S PARTY HERE AT THE OLD CANTINA, everyone drop in, have a pint or two, chase the FBW's around the table, (lap dances optional) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif We'll fire up the old grill in the kitchen, steak, roasted tribbles, baloney, chips, much more , and ahem, of course, brewskis http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif If anyone sees the Taz, tell him we could use him at his usual place behind the bar. Bring your favorite music, rock all nite, dart Boards of your favorite infamous charactars also will be available. Park all Space craft in the parking lot outside, Old T-Rex is back and he has brought some of his cousins to help with the parking, Only a small gratuity fee is required

Hey Puke good to see ya still around, havn't seen ya in the se4 chat for awhile, drop in when ya can, the old cantina has been pretty quiet lately, I lost count of what number this one is 5 or 6 i think, They seem to have some type of calamity wish every so often http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

[David E. Gervais]

Aaaah, it's good to see the old joint again. There's one good thing about this two inches of dust on all the chairs, it makes them even more comfortable. Now If Taz makes an entrence, there will truely be a dust storm to end all dust storms. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

The next round of drinks are on me, Cheers everyone, I hope this past year has been good to you, and I predict that 2005 will be even better.

Yabba, Dabba, Doo! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[mac5732]

the old wize one wobbles over to his table and enbibs upon David G's gracious offer, he lowers himself onto his chair, leans back and enjoys another brewski, calling over a FBW to assist him in his endeavors of celebrating the New Year.. ah, the fond memories flood thru his torso of the year 2004 past, the cartoon violence, the meyhem, the little fold in the inner sanctum, Gryphin trying to steal his pizza and falling into the rose bushes, the "O" word disasters, the explosions and the diabolical aspects of various members as they put the doomsday devices upon the anatamys of their illustious members of meyhem, T-Rex, GT and his red hot poker, the thrill of the chases, the new weapons of mass destruction unleashed within the confines of this fine upstanding establishment, Taz attending to the ministrations while behind the bar of the patrons, the food and of course, the FBW skimpy outfits.... sigh, those were the days, will 2005 be as rewarding? Only time will tell he mutters has he upends a brewski to wet his parched old throat while obtaining a massage from several FBWs.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Alneyan]

David E. Gervais said:
The next round of drinks are on me



Aha! An host of Vikings is currently making their way through the town (or what little remains of it, after several Cantinas had to be... shut down). From the looks of it, they will not settle with a single glass, so you had better be ready to pay a round of kegs.

See you next year then; I will retain my usual spot in the shadow, lurking, sneaking by, and spying on the patrons. In a few more days, the O and M words will be extensively featured in the first tabloid willing to delve in such things; I hope Renegade will still be resolved to check the dark of things, going boldly where angels fear to tread. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Growltigger]

Growltigga walks in through the door of the cantina, takes a look round and says "blimey, not again" before walking out shaking his head etc

[mac5732]

GT, your back, well, old furry one, what mischief have you been up to http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Cipher7071]

"What ho, old Colonel? I see the place has fallen into disrepair."
An empty bean can goes skittering across the cantina's floor in response to Cipher's kick, raising small puffs of dust in the process.
"Cough ... hack .... Hmmmm, I thought I heard mention of Canadian beer. Bartender ...? Er, never mind. I'll take a look myself. Ah ha! This slightly warm Moosehead should do the trick."
Shaking the dust out of a bar towel, he proceeds to clean up the dusty, green sixpack, and pops open a bottle.
"Geez Mac, couldn't ya have one of those FBWs sweep the floor every once in a while? The place looks like a stable."

[mac5732]

The old one, down trodden, in regards to the state of the cantina, decides to pump some credits back into the place, and get it all spiffed up, He interviews new FBW and various eye candy clones, puts ads in all the papers for a bartender or two, (Taz has disappeared) and advertises for an assistant to old T-Rex to help in the parking lot. He orders some new fresh wine and brews from around the world, repairs all the holes, bLaster smears, blood and guts from all the walls, puts some new music into the jukebox, and hangs new pics over the bar, adds a bigger dance floor, and feeds the new giant Octapi living under the floor http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

The wize one sits back, pops a brewski and watches......

[David E. Gervais]

What?!!! Someone has replaced my 'ABBA' Music in the Jukebox with 'Clay Aiken's Greatest hits'?

Oh for woah is me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero wanders into the bar for the first time and promptly trips over the step and smacks his head on the 'Mind the Step' sign. Upon regaining conciousness, he staggers over to David's table where the two begin conversing in hushed voices, occasionally glancing around to see if they are being watched. Agent Zero draws several frantic diagrams in the deep coating of dust, and upon finishing the conversation, swipes the dust off the table -- straight into David's face, who procedes to unleash a colossal sneeze that blows all the dust in the bar -and Agent Zero- through the front window.

Agent Zero wanders into the bar for the first time and promptly trips over the step and smacks his head on the 'Mind the Step' sign. Upon regaining conciousness, he staggers over to David's table and asks him what's with the broken window and big pile of dust outside.

[David E. Gervais]

David quietly anticipates the hordes of hungry fans sweeping up all the dust to try and reconstruct the 'secret' diagrams that AgentZero and he were recently drawing.

..As Agent Zero aproaches the table for the second time, I tell him to "Look Up!" which he promptly does just in time to see a bucket of green goo convieniently spill from the ceiling and covers Him. AgentZero glares over at David as if to say "What was that for?" Mumble, mumble, NDA, mumble, mumble.. You should know better than to tease the natives, besides that's my job..

[i]David tosses AgentZero a towel and walks out of the joint to go work on his 'Secret Project'..

Muahahahahaha, Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero wipes the green goo from his face with the towel, discovering too late that the goo is very, very, very sticky and the towel is now very, very, very stuck to his face. After several minutes of frantic struggle, he resigns himself to the fact that he will be spending the foreseeable future with a black towel wrapped around his face. After poking eye and mouth holes in the towel, he pulls up his hood, hoping the combination of hood and black towel will make him look like Anubis. Really he just looks like a man in a hood with a black towel stuck to his face.
With that he stomps off to a quiet corner, muttering that as Agent Zero, THE Agent Zero, he knows better to violate the sacred NDA.
After realizing that the towel is drinking more of his grog than he is, Agent Zero slumps back in his chair to wonder why the Gods hate him so.

In the distance, we can hear Aaron laughing...

[Raging Deadstar]

RD walks into the abandoned home away from home and looks around, apart from the suspicious two men who whisper thing's about "secret projects" and "NDA's" it's rather vacant. He walks over to the bar, long vacant since Taz's disappearance. RD thinks and Leaves a note attached to one of the pumps before walking to a table and begins to write out some fiction.

"One Bartender Applicant: Raging Deadstar Skills Include not Drinking most the stock, Distracting Customers and somewhat trained with Heavy Military Ordinance, Medieval Weapons and Firearms. Has Limited Experience in the fields of Crowd Control, Trench Combat and Psychological Warfare."

[mac5732]

the wizen old one, watches the 2 zealots whispering and making markks on their table. He laughs to himself, if they only knew about the new spyware cameras above each table, which record everything they see being written. Hmmm I wonder what it would be worth to someone for what they are writing... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

He tips his brew towards the two, watchs RD fill out his application, and orders his usual from one of the FBW http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk in and make my way to Mac's table,.. Mac looks up expecting me to start up a conversation, instead I open up the bag I'm carrying and pull out a large picture in an ornate wooden frame covered in gold leaf.. I hang the picture on the wall next to Mac.
http://67.19.30.83/threads/uploads/326837-islandnative.jpg

..now that Mac is suitably distracted I procede to paint the lenses on the spycams black..

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk in and make my way to Mac's table,.. Mac looks up expecting me to start up a conversation, instead I open up the bag I'm carrying and pull out a large picture in an ornate wooden frame covered in gold leaf.. I hang the picture on the wall next to Mac.

[mac5732]

David, you old rascal, You found her in a new outfit.... Wahoooo. man she sure makes the old ticker pump the blood http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif Now where is Tim and Richard??? Have to talk to those boys and see if they can get her at their booth this year http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

The old one gazes upon the pic on the wall by his table that the fine David G put up for him.. aahhhhh me mutters, GT, eat your heart out you furry feline http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

David, have a brewski on me (I'll just put it on the Taz's tab since he hasn't been around http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[Kamog]

She looks even prettier than before! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

[General Woundwort]

A rippling warp in space announces the teleportation of the long-absent Woundwort. With a short break in-between classes, he needs some liquid refreshment.

Walking past Dave and Mac's table (with a quick blush), he strides up to the bar and sees... its empty.

"What? No bartender? What on earth has happened to this place? The Boss must be really out of the loop this time..."

Then he sees RD's note. He tears it off the pump and reads it.

"Well... I can't wait until this gets approved. I guess if I can't get someone to make my drinks, I'll have to do it myself."

A few punches on the wrist computer and Woundwort's flight suit is exchanged for a dress shirt with collar (no tie) and slacks, with a white apron. Another series of buttons and the bar is restocked with the finest of American microbrews, with Arrogant Bastard Ale (http://www.arrogantbastard.com/index3.html) prominently featured. (As per the Boss's edict, no mass-produced yellow "beers" in sight).

"Your new bartender has arrived! First round's on the house, in celebration of my initial good grades in school. Free advice and a sympathetic ear included."

Woundwort reaches under the bar to retrieve Taz's favorite washcloth, and whistling the tune "Master of the House", begins polishing the bar.

(RD - you have to take initiative. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif )

[Raging Deadstar]

RD looks up and smiles, Initiative could wait, and Murphy never looked upon the cocky lightly. He presses a button on the laptop he was typing on and relaxes. All that strange teleportation and space ripping stuff Woundworts computer was doing made him a slightly easy to track target...

"Well No hard feelings Woundwort, after all, they said they needed more than one bartender, I'll just serve this side of the room..."

A Quick smile later RD turns round and undoes his collar, pulls on a pump to serve a drink, turns to say "Cheers" and watches satisfyingly as the ACME Homing weight that crashed through the roof and landed on Woundwort. Along it's side is the word "initiative."

RD whistles as he orders his transport outside to bring in some beverages that weren't American and from the Good Old Countries and Planets, he also brings out the old Starfury Cantina address book and hands it to Mac, the section entitled "FBW's."

"There's nothing like Competition amongst Staff no?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[General Woundwort]

The proximity alert goes off on Woundwort's wrist computer. There is a quick blip before the massive weight crashes through the roof onto the bar. Of course, the bar is now empty.

Another blip, and Woundwort is standing on top of the massive weight, surveying the wreckage of the bar (and the loss of all that good beer).

"RD, two things. One, you've got to stop wrecking the Boss's property. He just might be back one of these days, and I've got all your antics on record."

"Second, you've GOT to stop telegraphing your punches."

A quick series of punches on the wrist computer takes remote contol of the forklift bot bringing in RD's bootleg beverages. Woundwort sends it crashing into RD's table.

Woundwort salvages a bottle of Arrogant Bastard from the rubble, and toasts his adversary.

"Good to be back." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif

[Raging Deadstar]

Looking at the pool of broken bottles around his table, and the destruction of part of the bar RD has to think fast.

"Since when Has been destroying the Boss's Property been a crime? We're on the....I lost count of how many cantinas there have been..."

Looks again at the destroyed beverages

"That's coming out of your Wage Slip, you break it, you bought it. I'm sure you got it recorded..." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

RD turns to think about more important matters, mainly how we could get the Chainmail girl to work as an FBW here...

[General Woundwort]

"Well, RD, usually he's the one doing the destroying. But be that as it may..."

A few taps on the wrist computer summons a pack of worker droids, who begin to clear out the debris from the bar and the table area. Meanwhile, another set of droids begins to reinstall the oak surface to the bar area. While they are at work, Woundwort activates the walkie-talkie on the computer.

"Sancho, bring in some of the stock from my ship for the bar. Make sure you throw in some European beers, too - and some Romulan Ale. We wouldn't want RD to have another fit, would we?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

[mac5732]

Wakened by a loud crash, The Old One looks around and sees that the old place is starting to look more like the old days, he waves at RD and GW as they move around behind the bar amongst all the new debris. hmm, The wize one pushes a button on his table and T-Rex appears from the parking lot. The wize one asks him kindly to clean up the mess on the floor as the weight is to much for a dustpan.. TR agrees after receiving his pay in a promise of tribble wings and begins the clean up. The old gentleman proceeds to mail a FBW application to our chain mail lady in waiting. Between her and the other FBW will give this old place some excellent eye candy http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

He then orders 2 brewskis, one from each of the new bartenders http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif Now if we can only find a new cook or two for the kitchen, we'll be back in business as usual he mumbles as he puts cooks wanted sign in all the local and interplanetary papers.....

[David E. Gervais]

David is sitting at his table and is rumaging through a heap of something that looks like spagetti muttering to himself, "I'll untangle this mess, don't worry, I can do it." As he notices the commotion at the bar he presses a button and erects a level 20 forcefield around his work area.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif